Zach and Whitney Bates - part 4

[Feministe9000]

1 hour ago, BeccaGrim said:

I love the counter tops. I like anything that can be a little unique without being too over the top. We had similar ones in a house we renovated eight years ago.  (I miss it now, lol, we had to move).  

As for Whit and Zach, I actually really liked him in this last episode, talking about the time he drove off with the gas handle still attached to the car because he was so distracted being so in love with Whitney.  Very self effacing.  Yes, he is still all about the patriarchy and has some disgusting beliefs. I am not excusing it.  I just liked him a little better in this episode, he seemed more like I could relate to him. 

 I have to be honest, I think I've said this before, Zach is a real catch in their world. I think he's great. And like you said, yes DESPITE all the shitty beliefs, man he seems like a good guy. And he's very handsome (in my opinion, which I hate to admit).

Thinking more on that too, their courtship (or whatever you wanna call it, basically dating ) I feel, was sort of romantic and very serendipitous.
I know Zach had just come off his awful awkward failed courtship with Sarah Reith (who looks SO much like Whitney, it's kind of clear he had a type, even back then) but I think it was fortuitous, maybe even fate (if you believe in those things, which I do) there was no coincidence, meeting this girl at the Sonic, looking for excuses to stop by, chatting and getting to know her, falling in love with her, and from what we see now, they are a great team. He was also several years older than her, and has allowed her to "grow-up" in a sense, with her exploring a career beyond birthin' and caregivin', allowed her to flourish in her dress choices, and now with their project of working this house together, among other things I'm sure we do not see.

I think it's lovely. And yes, I know what they subscribe to is shitty and bad, I know I know I know.

There's just something especially romantic about the two of them and how they started, I can't put my finger on it. Zach is really a gem in the sea of shitty ass fundie husbands/prospective husbands. One thing that stands out to me is always how much he seems to be in awe of her, as though he is aware how lucky HE is to be with her, instead of what we usually see, which is the adoring gaze/eyes-glazed over, Jill Dillard bullshit towards Derick.

*sigh* And wow, when you compare Zach Bates to Derick Dillard it's like.......

Derick couldn't hold a candle.

***I'm sure you all will think i'm just being naive and not taking into account all the horrible shit they believe in and practice, but I have a soft spot for the older Bates kids, since they were there to witness (as I've said before) the real fever pitch of their parents zealotry, the very very poor years, etc., and I respect the life Zach and Whitney are building for themselves. I think they were probably meant to be together.***

*Yes, I know Zach is the patriarch, he is a bit arrogant and overly macho sometimes, yes I know they are anti-abortion, blah blah blah and so on, but aside from that for one second, and just looking at Zach and his circumstances in his little world, I think it's wonderful and I wish them the best. They are clearly working hard to ensure a good future for themselves and their kids.***

 

[Hisey]

7 hours ago, Feministe9000 said:

 I have to be honest, I think I've said this before, Zach is a real catch in their world. I think he's great. And like you said, yes DESPITE all the shitty beliefs, man he seems like a good guy. And he's very handsome (in my opinion, which I hate to admit).

Thinking more on that too, their courtship (or whatever you wanna call it, basically dating ) I feel, was sort of romantic and very serendipitous.
I know Zach had just come off his awful awkward failed courtship with Sarah Reith (who looks SO much like Whitney, it's kind of clear he had a type, even back then) but I think it was fortuitous, maybe even fate (if you believe in those things, which I do) there was no coincidence, meeting this girl at the Sonic, looking for excuses to stop by, chatting and getting to know her, falling in love with her, and from what we see now, they are a great team. He was also several years older than her, and has allowed her to "grow-up" in a sense, with her exploring a career beyond birthin' and caregivin', allowed her to flourish in her dress choices, and now with their project of working this house together, among other things I'm sure we do not see.

I think it's lovely. And yes, I know what they subscribe to is shitty and bad, I know I know I know.

There's just something especially romantic about the two of them and how they started, I can't put my finger on it. Zach is really a gem in the sea of shitty ass fundie husbands/prospective husbands. One thing that stands out to me is always how much he seems to be in awe of her, as though he is aware how lucky HE is to be with her, instead of what we usually see, which is the adoring gaze/eyes-glazed over, Jill Dillard bullshit towards Derick.

*sigh* And wow, when you compare Zach Bates to Derick Dillard it's like.......

Derick couldn't hold a candle.

***I'm sure you all will think i'm just being naive and not taking into account all the horrible shit they believe in and practice, but I have a soft spot for the older Bates kids, since they were there to witness (as I've said before) the real fever pitch of their parents zealotry, the very very poor years, etc., and I respect the life Zach and Whitney are building for themselves. I think they were probably meant to be together.***

*Yes, I know Zach is the patriarch, he is a bit arrogant and overly macho sometimes, yes I know they are anti-abortion, blah blah blah and so on, but aside from that for one second, and just looking at Zach and his circumstances in his little world, I think it's wonderful and I wish them the best. They are clearly working hard to ensure a good future for themselves and their kids.***

 

You dont have to apologize. You can see some good qualities in someone whose beliefs you deplore. Nobody is all black.

[MsSaylor]

Sarah Reith and Whitney look alike?? Not to my eye. 

I think Zach and Whitney are making some positive steps together. I also like Zachs dad sense of humor. Crossing my fingers kids will be somewhere besides SODRT. I think they and JinJer are the most likely so far to send their kids to school somewhere. BoRi too. 

[VelociRapture]

The story disappeared already, but another mini update on the renovation:

Spoiler

 

[BeccaGrim]

I was trying to figure out this one.  If the friend is painting at midnight, is that Bradley painting at midnight? 

[VelociRapture]

1 hour ago, BeccaGrim said:

I was trying to figure out this one.  If the friend is painting at midnight, is that Bradley painting at midnight? 

I’m not sure. It’s possible, but it’s also possible that was earlier in the night and they kept working after the kids went to bed. 

[ophelia]

15 hours ago, MsSaylor said:

Sarah Reith and Whitney look alike?? Not to my eye. 

I think Zach and Whitney are making some positive steps together. I also like Zachs dad sense of humor. Crossing my fingers kids will be somewhere besides SODRT. I think they and JinJer are the most likely so far to send their kids to school somewhere. BoRi too. 

They would probably send their kids to Christian schools, but still better than SODRT. Baby steps..

[nokidsmom]

Just want to post that Zach and Whitney do look very happy and they are very much a team.   Both seem to have grown over the 4 years they have been married, it's great to see them buy a house and work on it together.   I am not surprised that Whit is working.  Somehow I felt she was not one to sit around plus she has some real education under her belt.  

Zach has come a long way from days of his first courtship when he did the cringeworthy awkward courtship proposal.   The end of that courtship was painful but was probably a growth experience for him, as difficult as it was.   He was able to pick himself up and find someone more on his own terms, who genuinely loves and supports him and encouraged him.   And he no doubt does the same for Whit.    I agree with the poster that he seems in awe of Whit and it's welcome change from goo goo eyes that some of these fundie wives make at their husbands.  Hey, let the husbands make the goo goo eyes for a change! 

 

 

[VelociRapture]

On 1/19/2018 at 10:03 AM, Feministe9000 said:

 I have to be honest, I think I've said this before, Zach is a real catch in their world. I think he's great. And like you said, yes DESPITE all the shitty beliefs, man he seems like a good guy. And he's very handsome (in my opinion, which I hate to admit).

Thinking more on that too, their courtship (or whatever you wanna call it, basically dating ) I feel, was sort of romantic and very serendipitous.
I know Zach had just come off his awful awkward failed courtship with Sarah Reith (who looks SO much like Whitney, it's kind of clear he had a type, even back then) but I think it was fortuitous, maybe even fate (if you believe in those things, which I do) there was no coincidence, meeting this girl at the Sonic, looking for excuses to stop by, chatting and getting to know her, falling in love with her, and from what we see now, they are a great team. He was also several years older than her, and has allowed her to "grow-up" in a sense, with her exploring a career beyond birthin' and caregivin', allowed her to flourish in her dress choices, and now with their project of working this house together, among other things I'm sure we do not see.

I think it's lovely. And yes, I know what they subscribe to is shitty and bad, I know I know I know.

There's just something especially romantic about the two of them and how they started, I can't put my finger on it. Zach is really a gem in the sea of shitty ass fundie husbands/prospective husbands. One thing that stands out to me is always how much he seems to be in awe of her, as though he is aware how lucky HE is to be with her, instead of what we usually see, which is the adoring gaze/eyes-glazed over, Jill Dillard bullshit towards Derick.

*sigh* And wow, when you compare Zach Bates to Derick Dillard it's like.......

Derick couldn't hold a candle.

***I'm sure you all will think i'm just being naive and not taking into account all the horrible shit they believe in and practice, but I have a soft spot for the older Bates kids, since they were there to witness (as I've said before) the real fever pitch of their parents zealotry, the very very poor years, etc., and I respect the life Zach and Whitney are building for themselves. I think they were probably meant to be together.***

*Yes, I know Zach is the patriarch, he is a bit arrogant and overly macho sometimes, yes I know they are anti-abortion, blah blah blah and so on, but aside from that for one second, and just looking at Zach and his circumstances in his little world, I think it's wonderful and I wish them the best. They are clearly working hard to ensure a good future for themselves and their kids.***

 

Their relationship seems romantic because they met in a more normal way than many of the other couples. They weren’t set up or spent months casting longing looks across a room - they met at a Sonic where she was working and he had enough of a crush to keep going back. It wouldn’t be especially romantic under normal circumstances, but compared to his peers in IBLP they have an almost Romeo & Juliet thing going on (thankfully without the whole teenage suicide stuff.)

Its fine to have a soft spot for certain people or to find good qualities in them. Zach seems like a decent husband and father, which are good qualities to have considering he’s married with kids and Whitney does appear to have blossomed as a wife, mother, and an individual the last few years, which is great.  Just don’t allow the good qualities to make you forget that these people - including Zach and Whitney - have very dangerous beliefs and they support very conservative politicians. Zach ran for local office on an extremely conservative platform back in 2013/2014. Thankfully he lost, but he could always run for the same office again or even pursue a higher office. If he does and he wins he could end up inflicting real damage on real people.

All we really ask is that you keep that in mind and that you remember we aren’t a fan site (some fawning is normal, just don’t wander into leg humper territory where they can do no wrong ever. )

[Feministe9000]

4 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

Their relationship seems romantic because they met in a more normal way than many of the other couples. They weren’t set up or spent months casting longing looks across a room - they met at a Sonic where she was working and he had enough of a crush to keep going back. It wouldn’t be especially romantic under normal circumstances, but compared to his peers in IBLP they have an almost Romeo & Juliet thing going on (thankfully without the whole teenage suicide stuff.)

Its fine to have a soft spot for certain people or to find good qualities in them. Zach seems like a decent husband and father, which are good qualities to have considering he’s married with kids and Whitney does appear to have blossomed as a wife, mother, and an individual the last few years, which is great.  Just don’t allow the good qualities to make you forget that these people - including Zach and Whitney - have very dangerous beliefs and they support very conservative politicians. Zach ran for local office on an extremely conservative platform back in 2013/2014. Thankfully he lost, but he could always run for the same office again or even pursue a higher office. If he does and he wins he could end up inflicting real damage on real people.

All we really ask is that you keep that in mind and that you remember we aren’t a fan site (some fawning is normal, just don’t wander into leg humper territory where they can do no wrong ever. )

I totally agree, I admit I get swept in the romanticism of all the bullshit, I really do. 

*sigh* thanks for keeping me in reality! 

[just_ordinary]

7 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

Their relationship seems romantic because they met in a more normal way than many of the other couples. They weren’t set up or spent months casting longing looks across a room - they met at a Sonic where she was working and he had enough of a crush to keep going back. It wouldn’t be especially romantic under normal circumstances, but compared to his peers in IBLP they have an almost Romeo & Juliet thing going on (thankfully without the whole teenage suicide stuff.)

Its fine to have a soft spot for certain people or to find good qualities in them. Zach seems like a decent husband and father, which are good qualities to have considering he’s married with kids and Whitney does appear to have blossomed as a wife, mother, and an individual the last few years, which is great.  Just don’t allow the good qualities to make you forget that these people - including Zach and Whitney - have very dangerous beliefs and they support very conservative politicians. Zach ran for local office on an extremely conservative platform back in 2013/2014. Thankfully he lost, but he could always run for the same office again or even pursue a higher office. If he does and he wins he could end up inflicting real damage on real people.

All we really ask is that you keep that in mind and that you remember we aren’t a fan site (some fawning is normal, just don’t wander into leg humper territory where they can do no wrong ever. )

Thanks for putting the reminder in such nice words. I think most of us have a pet fundie that we route for but we still realise that their agenda is nothing we would support. A nicely worded reminder like yours just clears it up again. I sometimes get annoyed when people (not you!) jump in and lecture me about things I already know. I ignore it because they have their reasons but it still angers me. 

I had a very hard time with Whitney when she openly voted for Trump. Still cannot understand why anyone would, especially when you are not a right wing but then I decided that I will not look down on 62,948,825 Americans permanently.

I will never understand their life choices and beliefs and I can never support them (for example I don’t give their show any views) and thankfully I live far far away from them. To make sure their beliefs come not into power is the task of the American voter. So for me it is easy to fawn about changes I think I see but that doesn’t mean that I am blind to the danger.

[Melissa1977]

How old is Kaci? Seems that they're spacing their kids. I'm sure there'll be an anouncement before summer (maybe they're waiting to finish the house renovation before trying for another baby), but if they got accustomed to a relaxing life with just a few kids, a job and free time, the chances of becoming quiverful will really decrease.

I've always thought that Zach was open for a fundie-lite life and that's why he dated a girl like Whitney. It was her who decided to "commit to skirts only" and it was her who decided to go back to jeans and work. If Zach is not pushing a hardcore fundie life (and he's obviously not doing that), their kids won't have the rough childhood he had.

[miss_batson]

30 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

How old is Kaci? Seems that they're spacing their kids. I'm sure there'll be an anouncement before summer (maybe they're waiting to finish the house renovation before trying for another baby), but if they got accustomed to a relaxing life with just a few kids, a job and free time, the chances of becoming quiverful will really decrease.

Kaci is 19 months old (born in June 2016). Bradley was 20 months when Kaci was born. 

[VelociRapture]

1 hour ago, Melissa1977 said:

How old is Kaci? Seems that they're spacing their kids. I'm sure there'll be an anouncement before summer (maybe they're waiting to finish the house renovation before trying for another baby), but if they got accustomed to a relaxing life with just a few kids, a job and free time, the chances of becoming quiverful will really decrease.

I've always thought that Zach was open for a fundie-lite life and that's why he dated a girl like Whitney. It was her who decided to "commit to skirts only" and it was her who decided to go back to jeans and work. If Zach is not pushing a hardcore fundie life (and he's obviously not doing that), their kids won't have the rough childhood he had.

It’s possible they’re spacing their kids purposely. It’s also possible they just haven’t had the time or energy to conceive a third yet. Whit was pretty busy at least part of last year studying to be a Realtor and starting work, Zach is a Police Officer, they're (now) renovating a home together, they have two toddlers, and a house to keep cleanish. 

Regardless of the reason, it’s good her body has gotten a substantial break from pregnancy and she’s been able to focus on other areas of her life. She looks like she’s genuinely happy right now and that’s going to do wonders for her and her family.

[Melissa1977]

1 hour ago, VelociRapture said:

It’s possible they’re spacing their kids purposely. It’s also possible they just haven’t had the time or energy to conceive a third yet. Whit was pretty busy at least part of last year studying to be a Realtor and starting work, Zach is a Police Officer, they're (now) renovating a home together, they have two toddlers, and a house to keep cleanish. 

Regardless of the reason, it’s good her body has gotten a substantial break from pregnancy and she’s been able to focus on other areas of her life. She looks like she’s genuinely happy right now and that’s going to do wonders for her and her family.

Well, some posters said Bradley and Kaci are almost 2 years apart because Zach was at the Academy Police and that next pregnancy would be coming faster once he became an actual policeman. At least they won't have to deal with 3 kids on diapers at the same time.

[Hisey]

I watched my first BUB episode last night. Did anyone catch what Kaci did when she entered Erin's house? She toddled in (pacifier in mouth), spotted a cellphone near a purse on a coffee table. Picked it up, looked at it curiously, and then toddled off with it. She's probably curious why grownups are always staring at the thing.

No one noticed what she did. IT was pretty funny.

[nickelodeon]

On 1/23/2018 at 8:48 AM, Melissa1977 said:

At least they won't have to deal with 3 kids on diapers at the same time.

MUCH TO WHITNEY'S HEARTBREAK, judging by the tragic potty training posts for her first kid.

[elliha]

If keeping busy is their method of birth control I still applause it, having kids every other year or even more often is very tough on the body and on the bonding between parents and child/ren. If they get to having at least 3 years between each kid they could still have a large family but also have time and energy for them. I see a family of about 4-6 for them as the most likely size.

[Bazinga]

Tonight's episode is kind of pissing me off. Whitney is trying to act all forlorn dropping her kids of at Zach's parents house like it is oh so hard to do. What would she do if she didn't have them for free baby sitting? Would she be ok with dropping them off at a regular daycare center? You want to know hard, dropping your 3 month old with a stranger because you don't have any other options.

I also found it comical that the parents (in a talking head) where saying how all the kids crave for the grandkids to come and how the little boys in the house say their bored unless Bradley is there. Sure Ma and Pa Bates, PLEASE tell us how you really feel about Whitney working outside the home. Your telling us that you really love constantly having her kids so that she can work outside the home. Inquiring minds really do want to know.

The way she is acting on TV, I get a very strong feeling that 1) they won't be having many (if any) more kids and 2) homeschool will not be happening. She seemed very excited and happy to be working outside the home.

One more thought, she said she paid her way through college. Ummm....medical transcribing? Definitely not putting down any sort of higher education, but she made it seem likes she has a 4 year degree. Does she? I'm just curious. UP is doing a really good job with shining up the Bates, Whitney is college educated AND working.

[Bethella]

3 hours ago, Bazinga said:

One more thought, she said she paid her way through college. Ummm....medical transcribing? Definitely not putting down any sort of higher education, but she made it seem likes she has a 4 year degree. Does she? I'm just curious. UP is doing a really good job with shining up the Bates, Whitney is college educated AND working.

I'm not aware of a 4 year degree but to get her affiliate broker license, she had 93 credit hours of education.

[Coconut Flan]

She earned an associate degree I believe.

[JillyO]

Yeah, Whitney has an associate's degree in Medical Billing and Coding.

[Seculardaisy]

Watching that episode made me feel bad that Whitney is living in this cult where she has to grasp at straws to find a reason why she is getting a job outside of the home. “I wanted to find a way to give back and help others.” Come on. Real Estate is not a ministry. Just say you wanted a job, it’s not a sin.

And then the whole song and dance about “being so sad to leave them with a babysitter.” And all of the explanation hat she won’t be gone from the house too much. It just seemed like they were putting on a show to remind us that Whitney is a mom first. It’s okay to want a career and it’s okay to want a break from your kids!

It’s also sad that she implied that they had to sit and discuss appropriate jobs for her to have and came up with Real Estate. It didn’t sound so much like she wanted to be a Real  Estate agent, just that she wanted a job and this was the only one deemed appropriate.

[HarleyQuinn]

It makes me wonder if Whitney's going to have one of those aha moments 10 years down the line, realized she fucked up getting into a cult, then bails. 

[MarieMarie88]

I got that vibe too, it was like she had to justify why she wanted a job. I hope Zach has been supportive of her working but I don’t think he said very much during the episode. On the bright side they had a few livestreams on  Facebook with questions from viewers and all the viewers assumed because she was holding a pillow in front of her that she must be hiding a baby bump but she lifted the pillow and was like NOPE!  I think she jumped into fundie land because she was young and in love but as she’s maturing and gettting used to marriage she’s slowing backing up and realizing that fully fledged fundie life isn’t for her.