Sierra - Strawberries, Duggars, Strawberries

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

@Daisy0322 I hope you have someone you can trust your little guy with, it stinks that your parents won't help.  I remember those days, DD was a terrible sleeper, and she still is, she's 18 and doesn't require a lot of sleep, never has. She's moody and temperamental and I love her to death, you'll learn to feel his moods and his sleep patterns and you can make it work.  Every child is different so mama always knows best because you know your baby best, just keep on.  I hope you find someone to give that break soon.   

[ElToro]

@Daisy0322 it's really tough. I've been there too. For me, it got better when she could talk and not just cry (actually it gets better when they just feckin sleep. She is still a bit of a night owl at 6)

As for your parents. It might be that they DO love your baby and that's why they don't want to be in a position where they lose their shit over the trickiness of looking after him/her. Perhaps they can't trust themselves.... It doesn't help you much, but their intentions might be good..... 

[Iamtheway]

Miniway is four and has always been a very good sleeper but he has had periods where he has been harder to put to bed. He’s in one now where he just talks and talks and moves around to stay awake even though he’s obviously tired. He’s also always been a bit of a mommys boy. We take turns putting him to bed and tonight it was my husbands turn. 

I hear Miniway screaming ”Mamma” and crying. He hasn’t done that since he was little. So I go in.

Me: It’s dad’s turn. What do you want?

Miniway (sobbing): I want to be with you. 

Me: Why?

MW: I love you!

Me: Aw, that’s nice. I love you too. 

MW: I don’t love dad!

Me: Hey, that’s mean. Dad is great! And you do all sorts of fun things together. Skateboard. Bake. 

MW (surprised): But that’s only when you’re not here. 

Kids can be so cruel! Poor Mr Way! He is the best dad and he gets so much crap. Miniway doesn’t know how good he has it.

 

[ElToro]

I had a moment like this from my son. "I love Daddy so much. And I love my sister. And I love Granny and Grandpa. And I love Grandma and Grandad.... And I like you." 

Like a dagger in the heart! But I thought to myself "Right! I'm going to be such an amazing mother and so damn lovable -YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE ME TOO!!! " And he does. Now.

[Iamtheway]

18 minutes ago, ElToro said:

I had a moment like this from my son. "I love Daddy so much. And I love my sister. And I love Granny and Grandpa. And I love Grandma and Grandad.... And I like you." 

Like a dagger in the heart! But I thought to myself "Right! I'm going to be such an amazing mother and so damn lovable -YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE ME TOO!!! " And he does. Now.

Auch! So harsh!

Mr Way is used to it, poor guy. But he did also take a hit at dinner today.

Me: You are my best child! In the whole world!

Miniway: You are my best mum!

Me: And dad is your best dad!

Miniway: No! That’s Xxx’s dad!

Making it even meaner is that Xxx’s dad is actually horrible. Both as a dad, a husband, and just generally as a human being. 

I don’t know if I could take it. I’d probably cry. I probably will cry when he is a moody teenager and we are ”ruining his life”.

[Daisy0322]

2 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

@Daisy0322 I hope you have someone you can trust your little guy with, it stinks that your parents won't help.  I remember those days, DD was a terrible sleeper, and she still is, she's 18 and doesn't require a lot of sleep, never has. She's moody and temperamental and I love her to death, you'll learn to feel his moods and his sleep patterns and you can make it work.  Every child is different so mama always knows best because you know your baby best, just keep on.  I hope you find someone to give that break soon.   

I have a friend who is WONDERFUL with him! I just feel guilty asking because she has a daughter with special needs and has her plate full already.

1 hour ago, ElToro said:

@Daisy0322

As for your parents. It might be that they DO love your baby and that's why they don't want to be in a position where they lose their shit over the trickiness of looking after him/her. Perhaps they can't trust themselves.... It doesn't help you much, but their intentions might be good..... 

Ehhh we have an alcoholic grandmasnd an abusive grandfather on one side  and emotionally unstable grandma and a holy roller bible thumper grandpa on the other (who thinks we just don't pray for him enough). So grandparents are slim pickings lol but we have friends parents who try to help and they watch him maybe once a month. ITS SO NICE! I feel kind of guilty because my mom always tells me I shouldn't need "me time" but logically I know it's okay to get away for 3-4 hours and I really do enjoy it. 

[Iamtheway]

You definitly deserve me-time! You might be a mum now but you’re still a person. And depriving people of sleep is torture. Don’t feel guilty and do ask for help. This will pass and when your baby is older and you’ve gotten some sleep you will be able to help the people that helped you now. 

[justodd]

3 hours ago, NakedKnees said:

Not to be depressing, but people being jerks about sleep habits may not end with infancy. The last vacation Mr. Knees, his 12-year-old and I took was with a good friend and his 3-year-old, and we rented a condo together. Mr. Knees and his son both snore, and our friend wasn't exactly nice about it... he complained constantly the first few days. We ended up putting the two of them in the master suite while I shared twins + pull out with our friend and his toddler. It wasn't a big deal but I feel for my stepson- he was really guilty about it. I feel like if someone's that light of a sleeper, it should really be their responsibility to make sure accomodations work for them (or at least be sensitive to the insecurity level preteens often feel).

I should note that the 3-year-old, once asleep, was a heavy sleeper and not disturbed by the snoring. However, getting them to GO to sleep was a whole other kettle of fish. Toddlers can be so much more challenging than little babies sometimes.

I have to raise a flag on this one and ask: were the other visitors informed in advance that they’d be around people who snore that loudly? Because if not, I don’t think they had any responsibility to prepare in advance for something they didn’t know they’d encounter. If someone snores that loudly, it’s only polite to make that known in advance if they’ll be in close quarters with other people overnight. Placing blame on someone (who’s already grumpy and exhausted from lack of sleep) for not being able to sleep through excessive noise isn’t fair. Everyone has different thresholds of what they can sleep through, and it’s just plain rude to assume that everyone needs to bring earplugs, white noise machines, other sleep aids, etc., every time they sleep away from home. It could just as easily be said that your husband and stepson were in the wrong for not bringing and using any of the many easily obtained anti-snoring aids you can find in any drugstore. Sleep isn’t optional. People can’t go long without it, and interfering with someone else’s (and then blaming them for it!) is just plain rude. This isn’t in any way comparable to a crying baby (which most people know will likely happen if sleeping near an infant), and it’s disingenuous to suggest they’re even in the same ballpark. 

As for your stepson being embarrassed, it should be framed much like using deodorant. People get stinky, so we use deodorant in order to stink less. Some people snore, and there are (simple, painless) ways of alleviating that for the sake of everyone around them. It’s not that big a deal. I’m sure he would have been a lot less embarrassed by discreetly spraying something into his mouth/gargling/placing a strip on his nose before bed, than he was by how tired and cranky other people were because he kept them awake in a manner that could have easily been controlled. 

 

- Signed, someone who spent eight years married to a guy who sounded like a machinists factory when he slept, but found ways to let both of us get a decent night’s rest. 

[NakedKnees]

@justodd that's a really good point. It just never really crossed our minds that it was an issue because we've traveled with others and it was the first time it's come up. Not to mention- I don't snore and have never had a problem with either of them. I suppose it's something I'll be more sensitive to in the future, although I do still wish my friend had done the same. He'd actually lived with us for a while previously (albeit in larger quarters) so I was just surprised.

[Rachel333]

Oh man, I'm not a light sleeper normally but I just cannot handle loud snoring. My dad snores loudly and I have a really hard time sleeping near him when he's snoring. On the other hand, my mom says it doesn't bother her so I guess it affects people differently.

[candygirl200413]

When I had my double cousin wedding last summer, we had to deal with my dad's snoring since we shared one room as a family and even the ear plugs couldn't muzzle the noise! I'm similar to you @Rachel333, I'm a very deep sleeper but it can take me a little bit to sleep, but again with my dad's snoring it took a while!

[Rachel333]

I once had a hospital roommate who snored really loudly. I don't sleep well in hospitals anyway so those were not pleasant nights! She also farted loudly and frequently in her sleep as well.  She was a nice lady, just not the ideal roommate.

[nastyhobbitses]

3 hours ago, justodd said:

As for your stepson being embarrassed, it should be framed much like using deodorant. People get stinky, so we use deodorant in order to stink less. Some people snore, and there are (simple, painless) ways of alleviating that for the sake of everyone around them. It’s not that big a deal. I’m sure he would have been a lot less embarrassed by discreetly spraying something into his mouth/gargling/placing a strip on his nose before bed, than he was by how tired and cranky other people were because he kept them awake in a manner that could have easily been controlled. 

Just a small thing: if your stepson is snoring, get that shit checked out. My dad snores like a monster truck, and found out that the reason he was doing that and was so cranky all the time was really bad sleep apnea. He's LUCKY his brain was telling him to wake up (which made him cranky all the time because his sleep would be interrupted). He could have died in his sleep. He now uses a CPAP mask to get air basically forced down his throat at night. It muffles/stops the snoring (to my mom's relief), but it does make him look like Darth Vader. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

4 hours ago, Daisy0322 said:

I have a friend who is WONDERFUL with him! I just feel guilty asking because she has a daughter with special needs and has her plate full already.

She could probably use a break as well.  Perhaps you two could work out an arrangement where 1 day she has the kids and you have them another, That way you BOTH get a break once and a while. If you & she are comfortable leaving the special needs child in your care, depending on the level of care that might be easier said than done. 

[ElToro]

7 hours ago, Daisy0322 said:

I feel kind of guilty because my mom always tells me I shouldn't need "me time" but logically I know it's okay to get away for 3-4 hours and I really do enjoy it. 

I'm sorry about the grandparents. But please never feel guilty. Sleep deprivation is a method of torture (whether it be through evil regimes, babies or snoring partners)

And in very few human societies (other than ours) does the burden of looking after a baby, 24 hours a day,  fall in one person/couple. There should be a happy medium between your situation, where it is just you, and Meechelle's, where it is anyone but her!

[victoriasponge]

I don't even share a bed with my boyfriend because having another person there will wake me up. I am the lightest sleeper on the planet.

This is great when people know this, less great when people don't and put us in the same room to be polite. It's a lovely gesture that his grandmother put us in the same room even though we're unmarried, and my grandad offered the same, but less practical... Much less practical. I'd rather just go on the sofa, honestly.

I promise our relationship is great. Even though I'm 21 and we already have separate rooms.

[Yomoaw]

2 hours ago, victoriasponge said:

I don't even share a bed with my boyfriend because having another person there will wake me up. I am the lightest sleeper on the planet.

This is great when people know this, less great when people don't and put us in the same room to be polite. It's a lovely gesture that his grandmother put us in the same room even though we're unmarried, and my grandad offered the same, but less practical... Much less practical. I'd rather just go on the sofa, honestly.

I promise our relationship is great. Even though I'm 21 and we already have separate rooms.

 

My fiance and I have seriously considered getting separate beds and almost always do when we stay in hotels. We have separate sheets and a separate comforter/duvet in the bed we share because we are drastically different body temperatures. No shame. We have the same issue with the polite gesture of the shared room.

I also do travel with ear plugs and a white noise machine! I'm quite a light sleeper and know it. Most of my close friends I can identify by their sleep sounds - not even necessarily snoring, but their particular heavy breathing pattern. 

[victoriasponge]

1 minute ago, Yomoaw said:

 

My fiance and I have seriously considered getting separate beds and almost always do when we stay in hotels. We have separate sheets and a separate comforter/duvet in the bed we share because we are drastically different body temperatures. No shame. We have the same issue with the polite gesture of the shared room.

I also do travel with ear plugs and a white noise machine! I'm quite a light sleeper and know it. Most of my close friends I can identify by their sleep sounds - not even necessarily snoring, but their particular heavy breathing pattern. 

We tried separate duvets on one bed and it was slightly better, but he's 6'3 and spreads out in the night, and I roll over a lot as I sleep badly, so we just wake each other up. Separate beds has worked best for us. Glad there's others though! My parents don't share a room because of shift work, so I haven't seen it as weird, but other people I know seem to think our relationship must be failing.

I've tried earplugs and don't get on with them, but can suffer through for a few nights. I can't sleep with a white noise machine. I am honestly the worst person to share a room with! It needs to be pitch black and totally silent. Even when in really hot countries, I have to turn the AC off because I can't sleep with the whirring. I am totally useless - I just like to pretend that if I was living in a cave, I'd not get eaten... or something.

[Daisy0322]

My husband snores... usually I just kick him in my sleep and he stops haha but sometimes he goes to the couch. He could probably use a BiPAP but he won't listen, what do I know... I'm only a respiratory therapist lol 

[MargaretElliott]

Once, when I was a teenager, I went on a road trip with my family. My dad has sleep apnea and refuses to use a CPAP machine because he can't sleep while wearing it. He snores at shouting volume. Despite earplugs and melatonin, I hadn't had a proper night's sleep in about ten days. Then came the night where we had a hotel room with a low ceiling- it acted as a reverberation chamber. That's the only time I've ever actually wanted to kill someone.

I ended up lying in the bathtub with the door closed and earplugs in, hands over my ears, and crying because I just wanted some fucking sleep. To me, at least, snoring is serious business.

Anyone actually know what Sierra's up to at present? Other than needing validation?

[Ivycoveredtower]

10 minutes ago, MargaretElliott said:

Once, when I was a teenager, I went on a road trip with my family. My dad has sleep apnea and refuses to use a CPAP machine because he can't sleep while wearing it. He snores at shouting volume. Despite earplugs and melatonin, I hadn't had a proper night's sleep in about ten days. Then came the night where we had a hotel room with a low ceiling- it acted as a reverberation chamber. That's the only time I've ever actually wanted to kill someone.

I ended up lying in the bathtub with the door closed and earplugs in, hands over my ears, and crying because I just wanted some fucking sleep. To me, at least, snoring is serious business.

Anyone actually know what Sierra's up to at present? Other than needing validation?

probably trying to get pregnant with baby number 7 I mean Brooks turns Six months at the end of the month and you know she just has to have a big quiver but I think if it's another boy she may scream she did not seem happy that Brooks was a boy. 

 

Also have to add I wonder if Sierra reads here because her last photo she had to make a point to tell us the pictures were from her friends phone. 

[NakedKnees]

16 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Just a small thing: if your stepson is snoring, get that shit checked out. My dad snores like a monster truck, and found out that the reason he was doing that and was so cranky all the time was really bad sleep apnea. He's LUCKY his brain was telling him to wake up (which made him cranky all the time because his sleep would be interrupted). He could have died in his sleep. He now uses a CPAP mask to get air basically forced down his throat at night. It muffles/stops the snoring (to my mom's relief), but it does make him look like Darth Vader. 

Thanks! We did recently and they did not recommend a sleep study/suspect apnea yet, but they did want tonsils/adenoids out (even though they're not swollen). We live in Chile and there's a lot of organ removal here, so foreigners (like Mr. Knees) are often suspicious. Anyway, I think they should just have the surgery done (I had mine out and LOVE it) but Mr. Knees, stepson, and mom are all on the fence. We have a trip coming up but I'm definitely going to push them all to get a second opinion right when things calm down.

[Iamtheway]

10 hours ago, Yomoaw said:

 

My fiance and I have seriously considered getting separate beds and almost always do when we stay in hotels. We have separate sheets and a separate comforter/duvet in the bed we share because we are drastically different body temperatures. No shame. We have the same issue with the polite gesture of the shared room.

I also do travel with ear plugs and a white noise machine! I'm quite a light sleeper and know it. Most of my close friends I can identify by their sleep sounds - not even necessarily snoring, but their particular heavy breathing pattern. 

I definitly want my own duvet and some space in bed. I can not go to sleep if I’m lying to close to someone. Once asleep though I can sleep through noise, light and a kid spinning like a propeller next to me. And I easily fall back asleep if I should wake up. 

Mr Way have started sleeping in Miniways room a lot. Miniways propelling and my snoring wakes him up. I have in no way thought that this says something about our relationship. Do what works so that as many people as possible in the family gets as much sleep as possible. 

2 hours ago, MargaretElliott said:

Once, when I was a teenager, I went on a road trip with my family. My dad has sleep apnea and refuses to use a CPAP machine because he can't sleep while wearing it. He snores at shouting volume. Despite earplugs and melatonin, I hadn't had a proper night's sleep in about ten days. Then came the night where we had a hotel room with a low ceiling- it acted as a reverberation chamber. That's the only time I've ever actually wanted to kill someone.

I ended up lying in the bathtub with the door closed and earplugs in, hands over my ears, and crying because I just wanted some fucking sleep. To me, at least, snoring is serious business.

Anyone actually know what Sierra's up to at present? Other than needing validation?

My dad snores so that I could hear him in my room when I lived at home. My room was on a different floor and on the other side of the house. How my mother sleeps right next to him is beyond me. She says she doesn’t hear him at all. 

[Jana814]

Both of my parents snore. They don’t wake each other up while snoring. 

[Gillyweed]

My cousin (18) just got her tonsils taken out because she would snore so loud she woke herself up. 

My dad snores like crazy, too. If there's an empty bed in the house, my mom will sleep there instead of with my dad. Recently, I've been able to hear his snoring from my bedroom (across the hall, with both doors closed). He gets super offended if my mom or I bring up the fact that he snores loud. I actually just ordered a white noise machine so I can hopefully get a good night's sleep.