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Born Skeptic

If you leave a personal item behind and it is gone before you go back to get it (minutes, hours, or even a day later) it is a bit silly to call it "stolen" and you certainly don't know that the person who found it is a thief.  If you are careless enough to leave valuable items behind (multiple times!), perhaps you are careless enough to not know where you lost/left your item?  Why should everyone else just accept that you know exactly where you left it?  Perhaps it is "gone" when you go back for it because that isn't where you lost/left it?  Perhaps someone found your valuable item and - not recognizing its value - discarded it in the trash?  Perhaps it was found broken (dirty, wet from the bathroom floor)?  Perhaps someone found it somewhere other than where you remember losing/leaving it and turned it in to a different lost and found then you expected.  Perhaps someone else entirely claimed it from the lost and found?

Several years ago, we rented a car while on vacation.  Five days into the rental I opened the glove compartment to stash my expensive sunglasses so I would not lose them.  In addition to the usual car manual, there was a typical white envelope.  Inside the envelope was $2,600 US in cash.  Not sure what to do with it but certainly not wanting to keep it we contacted the rental car agency.  They were at a complete loss as well as they had no record of the previous renters reporting such a loss.  They were not comfortable taking the cash and suggested that we turn it in to the police department.  Thirty days later the police department contacted us to let us know that it had not been claimed and legally it was ours.  Instead we directed the police sergeant to donate it to a local charity. I certainly would have a hard time accepting the original owner claiming that their money had been stolen.  I would have an even bigger time being called a thief.  Someone carelessly left it behind and lost it.  The "blame" for that is squarely on their shoulders.  They were irresponsible - I was not.

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I guess it's nice that Sierra appreciates it when her husband humbles himself to help out one of their children.  I wonder what she would say if he did what my ex did one time.  He had an appointment

Sierra's last Instagram post is about her husband taking care of their children while she was at an Ob appointment. Part of her caption reads... "Some say that's his job, in order to be a dad, bu

My son is 9 months right now and barely sleeps ever... people are actually mean to him when they find out sometimes (I've lost friends over it) and so I try not to talk about it. But most days I'm so

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Rachel333
1 hour ago, singsingsing said:

Unless you take reasonable steps to attempt to return it to its owner, taking an item you just happen to find somewhere is in fact theft. Doesn't matter if the person who left it there was careless or not. Doesn't matter if you feel like being altruistic or not. All that matters is that you take those steps to return it. Otherwise, you're stealing.

You're approaching it from the perspective of the person who finds the item, which is subtly different from that of the person who lost the item, which is where the conversation started.

I also think there's a difference between not trying to return something someone else lost (I maintain that you can't expect others to go out of their way to rectify your mistakes, though it's nice when they do) and outright taking that thing. 

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Kailash

The only (really important) thing I can remember leaving behind accidentally was my 4 month old’s diaper bag with my wallet in it. It was in a cart that I pushed into a cart stall at Home Depot and just forgot it. I was with my friend and her 3 month old daughter. If I remember correctly, both babies were having a fit and I was just trying to hurry. Unfortunately, we left and didn’t realize my mistake until my child needed fed. By that time we were 30 or 45 minutes away. We turned around and went back and someone had turned it in to customer service. It was really thoughtful of them and I appreciated it so much! 

I have lost other things and have had things stolen. While I can appreciate the difference, if I take something that does not belong to me, in my mind that’s stealing. 

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SamiKatz
51 minutes ago, Born Skeptic said:

If you leave a personal item behind and it is gone before you go back to get it (minutes, hours, or even a day later) it is a bit silly to call it "stolen" and you certainly don't know that the person who found it is a thief.  If you are careless enough to leave valuable items behind (multiple times!), perhaps you are careless enough to not know where you lost/left your item?  Why should everyone else just accept that you know exactly where you left it?  Perhaps it is "gone" when you go back for it because that isn't where you lost/left it?  Perhaps someone found your valuable item and - not recognizing its value - discarded it in the trash?  Perhaps it was found broken (dirty, wet from the bathroom floor)?  Perhaps someone found it somewhere other than where you remember losing/leaving it and turned it in to a different lost and found then you expected.  Perhaps someone else entirely claimed it from the lost and found?

Several years ago, we rented a car while on vacation.  Five days into the rental I opened the glove compartment to stash my expensive sunglasses so I would not lose them.  In addition to the usual car manual, there was a typical white envelope.  Inside the envelope was $2,600 US in cash.  Not sure what to do with it but certainly not wanting to keep it we contacted the rental car agency.  They were at a complete loss as well as they had no record of the previous renters reporting such a loss.  They were not comfortable taking the cash and suggested that we turn it in to the police department.  Thirty days later the police department contacted us to let us know that it had not been claimed and legally it was ours.  Instead we directed the police sergeant to donate it to a local charity. I certainly would have a hard time accepting the original owner claiming that their money had been stolen.  I would have an even bigger time being called a thief.  Someone carelessly left it behind and lost it.  The "blame" for that is squarely on their shoulders.  They were irresponsible - I was not.

As I've said earlier in the thread, I left my purse on a bus with a significant amount of money in it, and I can guarantee you that I absolutely and 100% consider the person who took the money out of my purse a thief.  Regardless of whether I was careless enough to leave it on the bus or not.

My elderly mother left a pair of very expensive sunglasses (which she needs because she macular degeneration and dry eyes) on the counter of a store recently.  Went back for them within 10 to 15 minutes and they were gone.  The person who took them is a thief, regardless of whether my mother was careless in leaving them behind or not.

Maybe the people who left the money behind in your rental car were irresponsible in leaving it there, but you have no idea what the story behind the money being left behind was.  Losing that money might have meant nothing to them and maybe it was the last money they had in the world and leaving it behind was devastating to them.   You obviously did what you could to see the funds were returned but I'm sure some people who have just taken the envelope and not said anything.  That would definitely be shady.

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HarryPotterFan
18 hours ago, AliceInFundyland said:

That sucks! Were they prescription? I am so klutzy and unlucky with losing sunglasses that i won’t pay much for them unless prescription. I love them though. I prefer being “veiled” to light and other people. 

Fortunately, no. Still expensive though. I stopped wearing prescription ones after consistently wearing contacts every day.

My Dad recently went to the eyeglasses store and showed the guy who works there a picture of me wearing them and was told those haven’t been in stock for years. Wasn’t very helpful about finding similar ones. He gave us a catalog, but it would be nice to try them on and see how they look on my before spending that much money. I’ve just been wearing cheap ones since April. The cheap $10 ones have gotten compliments, so at least I have that?

10 hours ago, catlady said:

The person who found @HarryPotterFan‘s sunglasses had no right to keep them.  

Thanks. It just pisses me off that a bunch of other sunglasses got turned in. Even phones. Like if you are at a specific event, or store or something where there is a lost and found making it highly likely someone will return looking for them (as opposed to finding a $20 on a sidewalk), the decent thing to do is go to the lost and found. It’s part of living in society and called not being a dick.

1 hour ago, FecundFundieFundus said:

Did anybody else watch Sierra's IG story? I got up to when she said "I can't even love myself in those moments" and had to turn it off. Your husband should tell you you're beautiful! He should do that without talking you into risky pregnancies that make you feel bad about your body! Gahh I wish Sierra could go to a therapist. She has so much personality and chutzpah just being smothered under the stupid church expectations

What’s this about a risky pregnancy?

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JillyO
13 minutes ago, HarryPotterFan said:

What’s this about a risky pregnancy?

The IG story seems to have expired, so I can't tell you what that was about. But Sierra has previously talked about the fact that she some kind of condition that makes pregnancy life-threatening for her. We don't really know if that's an exaggeration or not. It definitely does not keep her from getting pregnant again and again.

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Rachel333
20 minutes ago, HarryPotterFan said:

Thanks. It just pisses me off that a bunch of other sunglasses got turned in. Even phones. Like if you are at a specific event, or store or something where there is a lost and found making it highly likely someone will return looking for them (as opposed to finding a $20 on a sidewalk), the decent thing to do is go to the lost and found. It’s part of living in society and called not being a dick.

Well with your example it's entirely possible (especially since it was a sporting event) that you dropped your glasses and they got stepped on and then someone else cleaned them up, in which case no one was at fault. You don't know for sure that you have a reason to be pissed at anyone or suspicious of the people around you who almost certainly did nothing wrong. If other similar items (including more expensive items) were being turned in that, to me, adds to the likelihood that it was just a mistake.

Regardless, it sucks that you lost your glasses, and if someone did just take them then that was shitty of that person.

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