Joy & Austin 15: Standing for the Fetus

[VBOY9977]

http://www.joncourville.com/blog/2017/10/18/a-duggar-wedding-with-tlc-joy-anna-austin-forsyth

The photographer posted even more pics of the wedding and answered some questions

Warning: he who shall not be named is shown 

[Georgiana]

1 hour ago, justoneoftwo said:

My parents are always 30 min late.  My mom is a doctor, my dad a professor. I don't think they were ever late for professional things.  

This is what gets me about tardiness.  I KNOW you have the ability to be on time because sometimes it is required.  Not just professionally, but also for things like medical appointments and flights.  When you NEED to be on time, you can be.  It's a required skill for living in society.

And I get that meeting me for lunch isn't as important as a plane trip or a doctor's appointment, so I'm really not bothered if someone is late occasionally.  But if it is every time and you say it's just how you are....I'm calling bullshit.  You CAN be on time when it matters enough to you.  This doesn't matter enough to you.  And maybe eventually I decide that meeting you doesn't matter enough to me to justify waiting.  

And like I said, sometimes IT SHOULDN'T matter that much, so being late is fine.  But sometimes it should.  And if you're late to something that really matters or really inconveniences others, you should expect a lot of negativity.  Because punctuality may not matter to you, but it matters to a lot of people, and if those people are your friends, you should respect that when they are hosting.

[xlurker]

10 minutes ago, VBOY9977 said:

The photographer posted even more pics of the wedding and answered some questions

I notice in the group shot that the Dullards had to be proving thier love rather than being a part of the group

[Lurky]

2 minutes ago, xlurker said:

I notice in the group shot that the Dullards had to be proving thier love rather than being a part of the group

I noticed this too. I also really enjoy Johannah's "so over it" face, but it must be incredibly hard to get a picture of that many people all looking at the camera, let alone smiling! 

(I was really hoping to see the uncropped version of the funny faces picture too)

[VBOY9977]

4 minutes ago, Lurky said:

(I was really hoping to see the uncropped version of the funny faces picture too)

That was from Joe’s wedding not Joy’s lol but maybe they’ll release it later

[Georgiana]

10 minutes ago, xlurker said:

I notice in the group shot that the Dullards had to be proving thier love rather than being a part of the group

I know fundies are different, but if a couple did that in my wedding photos, I'd be pretty upset.  Can it NOT be about you for like 2 seconds?  Thanks.  

[NachosFlandersStyle]

42 minutes ago, KelseyAnn said:

If you are late consistently and feel bad about it, you would think that would serve as motivation to stop being late.

Of course it's a motivation, but motivation alone isn't always enough to overcome complex psychological limitations.

Listen, this is all I'll say on the topic. I don't expect everyone to be cool with it when I'm having a bad day, and if I'm causing you trouble, by all means be mad at me! I'm not asking anyone to think I'm innocent. All I want is for people to cut it with this idea that anybody who inconveniences you must be doing it because they're a lazy, callous person who sits around all day laughing about how fun it is to make you wait. I want to be believed when I tell people I'm struggling.

Most people-- even people who rub you the wrong way and who you don't personally want to spend time with-- are just trying their best, even if their best isn't always that great. There's nothing to be gained by projecting malicious intentions onto the people who irritate you.

[NachosFlandersStyle]

38 minutes ago, VBOY9977 said:

http://www.joncourville.com/blog/2017/10/18/a-duggar-wedding-with-tlc-joy-anna-austin-forsyth

The photographer posted even more pics of the wedding and answered some questions

 

She says that her husband's family is close with the Duggars-- I'm not 100% sure, but I think the Courville family also has some ties to the Church of Wells cult?

[KelseyAnn]

35 minutes ago, Georgiana said:

  You CAN be on time when it matters enough to you.  This doesn't matter enough to you.  And maybe eventually I decide that meeting you doesn't matter enough to me to justify waiting.  

 

1

This. When my youngest sister wants to go out to drink with her friends, you can bet she gets up five hours earlier than ususal so she has time for makeup and all that. But if its for something like a graduation that isn't hers, she'll be an hour plus late. 

20 minutes ago, Georgiana said:

I know fundies are different, but if a couple did that in my wedding photos, I'd be pretty upset.  Can it NOT be about you for like 2 seconds?  Thanks.  

This is Jill we're talking about. 

[December]

1 hour ago, KelseyAnn said:

Lateness one or two of three times is okay, but if you come late to something I planned more than four times you're likely not getting invited anymore.

My feelings are very similar. I feel like constantly being late for no reason conveys the message that you're just not invested in the person/event. I don't necessarily stop inviting people to things (unless it's something where being on time is critical, like a movie showing) but I certainly won't wait for them. If the party invitation says "food at 6" and they don't feel like showing up till 7:30, they can enjoy whatever's left!  

[Nefernandes15]

At least Tyler seams happy in the group pic... 

[KelseyAnn]

2 minutes ago, Nefernandes15 said:

At least Tyler seams happy in the group pic... 

 

2 minutes ago, Nefernandes15 said:

At least Tyler seams happy in the group pic... 

They had to teach him to smile and disregard his true feelings at some point, after all. 

[Rachel333]

I do have ADD and time management issues and I hate that I'm like that. I really hate the stress of being late so I prefer being early to things (depending on what those things are, of course). I guess my time management problems and my dislike of being late balance out so that I don't usually end up being early like I would like to be but I am generally on time to things.

In high school I never got a tardy, which is something I was proud of. My last year was incredibly frustrating though because my brother went to the same school which meant that we had to leave together. School started at 8:20 and I liked to leave the house by 8:00. My brother, however, would often still be in the bathroom doing his hair at 8:10. He said that his teacher didn't care if he was late, which might have been true, but I cared about being on time! He typically ate his breakfast, put his shoes on, and did any other grooming (like putting on deodorant or clipping toenails) in the car on the way to school. Luckily my first period teacher was also pretty lax about tardies because I would not have been able to keep my streak otherwise.

It was awful and my parents say they weren't sure if we would both survive the year. 

[nastyhobbitses]

More thoughts on lateness vs. punctuality: I am working on being more tolerant/understanding/whatever you want to call it of differences in time management and perception, but I'm a Maxwell-level scheduler (to-do lists for DAYS, color-coded to indicate priority level) and work in an industry where being late means fines/even jail time, lost clients, or lost revenue, so I simply don't understand being really late unless something bad happened. I'm working really hard to say "it's OK, sometimes trains run a little slow" when my friend is 10 minutes late. To say "no, she doesn't hate you and isn't suddenly ghosting you/no, she hasn't been kidnapped by terrorists/no, she didn't die/no, she isn't just doing this to spite you" when my mom gets a little lost on her way to meet me at a landmark on vacation. To say "he's probably really busy" if a co-worker doesn't immediately respond to an email. To say "no, it's OK to come later if it's just a get-together with drinks at someone's house". It's tough, though, and honestly, there's still a level of lateness I just won't tolerate, but...yeah. Do your best to be on time for shit you should be on time for, and I'll get better at just chilling out and realizing that not everyone runs on NastyHobbitses' Super-Efficient BE ON TIME OR EVERYONE WILL DIE AND HATE YOU Time.

[seasonsoflife]

2 hours ago, xlurker said:

I notice in the group shot that the Dullards had to be proving thier love rather than being a part of the group

Of course...they are kissing...hashtag incessant eye roll  

[JillyO]

I understand that some people have legitimate reasons for being late often, like anxiety, and I have compassion for that. But plenty of people just think their time is more valuable than others'. Even in this thread, some posters were saying "so what, we can go shopping at 11 oder 12 or 1 just as well as we can at 10." Well, yeah, but maybe I have better things to do with my day than wait for you get your ass out the door two hours after the agreed-upon time. I have no patience for that crap.

[cascarones]

16 minutes ago, nastyhobbitses said:

, but I'm a Maxwell-level scheduler (to-do lists for DAYS, color-coded to indicate priority level)

We'd probably be really great friends, I'm type B personality and pretty laid back, but love me some to-do lists and if there was a Flo for Post it notes, it would be me. Dream job, right there. Or being the Trello dog. Since Mr. C and I both travel, it's not always the easiest to communicate what's going on electronically, but the color coded notes keep the ship running.

I'm personally punctual, have a brother who until having a child that got the time gene, had no concept of being on time. He doesn't like his little dictator hollering at him about being late and has figured out how to work the necessary time of finding all of the belongings (wallet, keys, cellphone) he's flung about at random, since for the life of him he can't set a place to put things day after day. It's been an unexpected, but very appreciated blessing.

[Chickenbutt]

As an on time person, I forgive my late friends. After all the years of friendship, we have all made compromises. I get wherever on time and just know that they are going to be no later then 15 minutes late. We have figured out how to make it work. I don't get mad at them for being late, they don't get mad at me for demanding they be no more than 15 minutes late. Of course emergencies arise, and calls/texts are made and everyone is happy. This is in my personal life. In my professional life, there was no excuse for being late barring an emergency. Then a phone call is expected. 

Holidays, everyone is told what time I plan to eat. Be here or you get leftovers. Not a big deal. 

I guess that i make exceptions for the ones I love and they make exceptions for me. Compromise is always good. 

[LacyMay]

Jill and Dwreck in that group photo is the most irritating wedding thing I've seen. Especially since pretty much everyone else is doing the same fists up thing, it's not like it was oh hey everyone do something silly it was oh hey everyone make this gesture. But not Jilly Muffin and Derelict oh no no no you must be the center of all attention. I'm wondering if Jessa pulled Joy aside after and was like "Its ok sweetie your mom tried to over shadow me on my wedding day too." 

Sorry if I got a little ragey, Mr. May has a family member who managed to make my bachelorette party all about her (after I had made a lot of lesser known compromises during the wedding itself for his parents) so I might be a little bitter. 

 

On the topic of the Joy in college article, I read a similar one but it was from in touch or something so I just assumed it was fake news. It did mention her "internship" at the legislature though. I know this has been discussed briefly but I just wanted to clarify. This was like a one day "job shadow" type thing right? If so where did we get that info? I've followed this thread pretty steadily for the past few months but apologies if I missed it somewhere, most of what I saw was just like in passing type comments. 

[Furbabiesonly]

I have almost a split personality when it comes to the on time/late thing.  

On the one hand, on my dads side I come from a military family and being late was drilled into me from a very young age as being absolutely unacceptable. But on the other, my mothers side is very relaxed midwestern and often barely on time. 

The result, I’ve found, is that I obsessively calculate a result that with traffic will get us there almost exactly on time, not 20 minutes early or 20 minutes late. But when I do have that exact time to leave, I do tend to freak out if the boyfriend isn’t ready to leave at that exact second. 

[Dandruff]

18 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

I'm sorry but the Duggars have such shitty homeschooling, post secondary would be very hard for them. Like um yeah. 

Post-secondary?  I doubt that any of them could get through public school 8th grade without a LOT of help.

[nastyhobbitses]

3 hours ago, LacyMay said:

Jill and Dwreck in that group photo is the most irritating wedding thing I've seen. Especially since pretty much everyone else is doing the same fists up thing, it's not like it was oh hey everyone do something silly it was oh hey everyone make this gesture. But not Jilly Muffin and Derelict oh no no no you must be the center of all attention. I'm wondering if Jessa pulled Joy aside after and was like "Its ok sweetie your mom tried to over shadow me on my wedding day too." 

Shit like this is why I sometimes lose track of whether I'm in a Duggar thread or a Rodrigues thread.

[Lurky]

12 hours ago, VBOY9977 said:

That was from Joe’s wedding not Joy’s lol but maybe they’ll release it later

Thank you!  So many weddings with exactly the same people in them, so close together!

[SassyPants]

14 hours ago, Georgiana said:

This is what gets me about tardiness.  I KNOW you have the ability to be on time because sometimes it is required.  Not just professionally, but also for things like medical appointments and flights.  When you NEED to be on time, you can be.  It's a required skill for living in society.

And I get that meeting me for lunch isn't as important as a plane trip or a doctor's appointment, so I'm really not bothered if someone is late occasionally.  But if it is every time and you say it's just how you are....I'm calling bullshit.  You CAN be on time when it matters enough to you.  This doesn't matter enough to you.  And maybe eventually I decide that meeting you doesn't matter enough to me to justify waiting.  

And like I said, sometimes IT SHOULDN'T matter that much, so being late is fine.  But sometimes it should.  And if you're late to something that really matters or really inconveniences others, you should expect a lot of negativity.  Because punctuality may not matter to you, but it matters to a lot of people, and if those people are your friends, you should respect that when they are hosting.

I abhor the chronically late; my mom was one of those people and it really bothered. IMO, always being late shows an indifference to others and other’s time! So disrespectful to those waiting on you.

[ChairmanMeow]

22 hours ago, samurai_sarah said:

Since I'm fan-girling anyway: I especially love that contrary to all stereotypes of Germans lacking a sense of humour, you lot are plenty humorous. No-nonsense, but humorous and always kind. Needless to say that I'm a huge fan, and I'm not the only one.

A friend of mine never tires of telling the story of how she got stranded at a train station in Frankfurt and was in tears. She didn't speak a word of German, but a kindly DB employee took her by the hand, and took her to the "Bahnhofsmission" (for non-German speakers: it's a kind of emergency shelter that provides stranded travellers with a meal and a bed for the night).

You lot have fans!

I would also like to add my love of Germany and its people. The kindest, most polite, and efficient country I have visited