Jinger 29: New House and New Wardrobe

[Playagirl]

@Beermeet and @PennySycamore, this was me too. I could never think of anything to confess, but it was because I was super shy and scared to death of the priest. So I'd mumble something about fighting with my siblings, disobeying my parents and lying then I'd get the heck outta there until the next time  when I'd say the exact same thing.

My first communion happened a few years before my first confession but only because I was tired of having to stay in the pew by myself while my parents and siblings went up for communion. I felt like I was missing out on something so one Sunday when everyone went up for communion I got out of the pew and insisted on joining them. For some reason my parents let me. No white dress, no special ceremony, just little 5-year-old me in a summer shorts and shirt set.

[SassyPants]

On ‎8‎/‎25‎/‎2017 at 7:52 PM, Playagirl said:

@Beermeet and @PennySycamore, this was me too. I could never think of anything to confess, but it was because I was super shy and scared to death of the priest. So I'd mumble something about fighting with my siblings, disobeying my parents and lying then I'd get the heck outta there until the next time  when I'd say the exact same thing.

Ditto: fought with the sibs, lied to the parents, blah, blah, blah- and I hoped I turned the doorknob the right way the first time, and got the H out of there.

[Beermeet]

@PennySycamore.   Oh yeah, it's pretty widespread.  I've reconnected with childhood friends who were in religion.  They lied.  We were freakin' 7!  Plus, what sane kid confesses to an adult all freely and stuff?!  LOL!

At 18 my friends very devout Catholic old school Polish grandma had told me she stopped going to confession decades ago.  Felt it was ridiculous to do so unless you did something bad.  I agreed and did the same!  But not before I had went to confession and confessed E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.  I'll spare you the details, just know I was a sexually active 18 yr old.  I almost threw up in the confessional.  It was horrid and I felt I HAD to do this for my soul.  It felt so wrong and I still cringe.  I've never told anyone that.  Both my bf and I did it.  We made a pact. That was at my most devout.  I want barf right now.  No joke. O.O

ETA:  I am still having a visceral reaction to this.  Every time I think about it.  Like, OMFG!  

[FreeCalifornia]

12 hours ago, flycat said:

Nah, they should be fine. They are far enough inland that the wind won't be too bad. The real concern is flooding. Laredo isn't used to getting much in the way of water so they may flood but it's not likely. 

 

Source: person who actually lives on the gulf coast and has obsessively watched the forecast. 

Also- even if they WERE in the path, I imagine somebody would be willing to help prep "The Pastors" house. Not that the family couldn't hire somebody if they NEEDED to.

[CharlieInCharge]

3 hours ago, infooverload said:

I'm curious what part of the US are you in?

Southern Oregon, it's pretty conservative overall, but very live/let live. 

[infooverload]

LOL I'm in Oregon as well and your description reminded me of a more NW approach. I think because Oregon has the reputation as being unchurched it makes for a unique approach. One to fit with the local culture of the state and its residents.

 

 

[Playagirl]

8 hours ago, Beermeet said:

 Oh yeah, it's pretty widespread.  I've reconnected with childhood friends who were in religion.  TheyAt @18 my friends very devout Catholic old school Polish grandma had told me she stopped going to confession decades ago.  Felt it was ridiculous to do so unless you did something bad.  I agreed and did the same!  But not before I had went to confession and confessed E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.  I'll spare you the details, just know I was a sexually active 18 yr old.  I almost threw up in the confessional.  It was horrid and I felt I HAD to do this for my soul.  It felt so wrong and I still cringe.  I've never told anyone that.  Both my bf and I did it.  We made a pact. That was at my most devout.  I want barf right now.  No joke. O.O

ETA:  I am still having a visceral reaction to this.  Every time I think about it.  Like, OMFG!  

I'm curious what your priest's reaction was to your confession? That's something I've always wondered about - what the priests actually think of the stuff they hear in the confessional.

[Beermeet]

2 hours ago, Playagirl said:

I'm curious what your priest's reaction was to your confession? That's something I've always wondered about - what the priests actually think of the stuff they hear in the confessional.

 Have you seen "A league of their own"?  When Madonna's character "all the way" Mae confesses and the priest keeps dropping his bible?  I pictured it to be like that.

[Jana814]

46 minutes ago, Beermeet said:

 Have you seen "A league of their own"?  When Madonna's character "all the way" Mae confesses and the priest keeps dropping his bible?  I pictured it to be like that.

That was one of the best scenes in that movie. 

[Four is Enough]

@Playagirl, TTTT, I don't think the priests much listen to kids' confessions, or many run of the mill confessions, either. I believe they're listening to the tone of voice, to see if the person is truly sorry, etc.

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

Re: priests in confessionals and what they think. I like the scene near the end of Detroit Rock City where one of the characters is forced to confess his sins by his religious mother. The priest asks lots of questions and gets a little too excited about what he's hearing. Other stuff happens too, but I won't spoil it for anybody.

[Beermeet]

On 8/23/2017 at 5:16 PM, Irene said:

Is this instragram facebook what? I would like to follow, I hvae the followers suggesting on instagrram

It's IG. AFAIK, they don't have FB.

[bella8050]

Went to Catholic school through 6th grade, I hated going to confession. I would joke with my friends that my only real sin was lying to a priest because I would make things up. Although I did have one that I would never tell a priest, as I got older and a little sassier with people that were picking on me or just annoying, my favorite phrase became "go to hell and stay there." Probably the worst thing you could say to someone in a school were hell could only be said as h-e-double hockey sticks. 

[Lizzybet]

On 8/25/2017 at 1:25 AM, Beermeet said:

Sometimes I forget how Catholic I was for more than half my life.  I do miss it..........sometimes.   

Same here, though only about a third of my life was spent as a devout (honest) Catholic.

[Bad Wolf]

On 8/25/2017 at 3:12 PM, OhNoNike said:

I commented to a neighbor how I had sample formula that I didn't need.  She said if I ever got more to let her know bc there was a pregnancy center next to her church. Then she continued to explain that they stocked shelves with the free shit people gave them and the new moms "earned" fake money to buy it by going to classes and appointments.

WTF.  I'm all for providing educational parenting classes, but to get free formula and essentially charge people to feed their kids.  No.

WIC  gives free formula etc. if you meet the income guidelines. Shame on that organisation making people pay.

Our Episcopal priest raised Catholic said he always had to lie in confession when he was a kid.

[neurogirl]

My friend in middle and high school was still going to a Catholic church and "confession" and freely admitted to making things up. Of course, he came out in college and dropped the church as fast as he could. I can't imagine being 12 and having to lie about disobeying parents to avoid a strange man telling you you could go to hell. I had a different friend in college, who was raised Catholic and later came out as gay, who went to a Unitarian Universalist service with me and cried afterwards because he didn't know there were places of worship that wouldn't demonize him. It's been hard for me to not have bad feelings towards the Catholic church, even though I know not every parish is like that.

[Beermeet]

@neurogirl. But, every parish really is, unfortunately.   The stance on being gay is that it's a mortal sin and you go to hell.  That child sex abuse scandal tho........

Just like birth control, it's a no. No matter which parish you go to. Even though most use it.  And, it seems we were all basically taught to lie to priests by age 7.  O-o

I'm glad your friend found a place to worship without having to hide his true self and be threatened with damnation.

[Justmurrayed]

 I totally feel like I was the only Catholic kid who confessed real sins. In my defense, I was an anxious, people-pleasing kid so I always thought I was doing things wrong or not "right enough" so......

As I got older I felt a huge sense of relief every time I went. Like therapy for the anxious kid but it's free. 

[Beermeet]

@Justmurrayed. I'm totally proud of you!  For real, that's awesome you did it right.

[Four is Enough]

11 hours ago, Justmurrayed said:

 I totally feel like I was the only Catholic kid who confessed real sins. In my defense, I was an anxious, people-pleasing kid so I always thought I was doing things wrong or not "right enough" so......

As I got older I felt a huge sense of relief every time I went. Like therapy for the anxious kid but it's free. 

You weren't. I still like confession, too, although I haven't been in a while.

[Galbin]

I hate confession. I am a private person, so just cringe at the whole thing. 

[griffin]

Everything neurogirl just said. As a child, I was severely traumatized by being forced to go to confession. I had NOTHING to confess and laid awake the night before, sick to my stomach in anticipation of making up SOMETHING to say. I consider the whole practice child abuse. I was deep into adulthood before I found out there were religions that weren't built on guilt, shame and fear.

[JenniferJuniper]

1 minute ago, griffin said:

Everything neurogirl just said. As a child, I was severely traumatized by being forced to go to confession. I had NOTHING to confess and laid awake the night before, sick to my stomach in anticipation of making up SOMETHING to say. I consider the whole practice child abuse. I was deep into adulthood before I found out there were religions that weren't built on guilt, shame and fear.

I remember coordinating lies to tell the priest with two of siblings before walking into church on a Saturday afternoon. "I hit my brother."  "I got really angry when my brother hit me and I broke his model plane".  "I got into a fight with my brother because he thought I was the one who broke his model plane."  We considered the whole thing BS and that's how we approached it.

One time during one of those dreaded "face to face" confessions, I hadn't planned well and when the priest asked me what I'd done wrong I took a short cut and said, "Well, I guess pretty much everything in the book.".  "Have you committed murder, adultery, have you robbed a store?"   "No, I'm only 10 so I haven't had a chance to do any of those things yet".  He was done with me and immediately sent me away with the standard number of Hail Marys and Our Fathers.  Which as, always, I only pretended to do.

When I was in my late teens mother told me a story of a neighbor who had conceived a baby with a man other than her husband. She confessed to the priest.  When the baby was born, he refused to baptize him.  This same priest was later named as a child molester after his death. 

Looking back, I guess there is little wonder why I have zero use for organized religion.   

 

[Drala]

12 hours ago, Beermeet said:

<snip> The stance on being gay is that it's a mortal sin and you go to hell.

Strictly speaking, the RC church teaches that "being" gay or the disposition to same-sex attraction is "disordered," which is not the same as mortal sin.  It's sex outside of marriage (regardless of whether heterosexual or homosexual) that is sinful. Being gay is not sinful. Acting on gay desire is sinful, but no different from a moral standpoint than acting on heterosexual desire outside of marriage.  Since God ordained marriage between men and women, there can be no homosexual relations that are not sinful.  However, there can be chaste homosexuals who do not commit sexual sin outside of marriage, which is what the RC church encourages its "disordered" members to do.  It's a nuanced, albeit cruel, view of homosexuality.

[seraaa]

12 hours ago, Justmurrayed said:

 I totally feel like I was the only Catholic kid who confessed real sins. In my defense, I was an anxious, people-pleasing kid so I always thought I was doing things wrong or not "right enough" so......

As I got older I felt a huge sense of relief every time I went. Like therapy for the anxious kid but it's free. 

My high school RE teacher told us outright that confession was sometimes used like therapy by the community in the past, and I can quite believe it.

I also made something up for my First Confession, aged seven. Didn't realise it was so common!