Jinger 29: New House and New Wardrobe

[HarleyQuinn]

Those pants would look better if they were skinnies instead of baggy imo.

[nausicaa]

4 hours ago, Beermeet said:

I do wish Jeremy would stop buttoning all the buttons.  Undo one or 2.  Makes him look uptight and shirts tight around my neck drive me nuts. 

It's a hipster thing. 

[Beermeet]

5 minutes ago, nausicaa said:

It's a hipster thing. 

Ah, you're right.  I didn't pick up on that right away due to the lack of a beard, glasses and a craft beer. 

[Greendoor]

16 hours ago, singsingsing said:

Perhaps I'm not a romantic, but I don't believe in love at first sight   --- snip

 

I do.  It was the most wonderful relationship I was ever in.  Nine years of absolute bliss.

I don't expect to find it again, but I certainly wouldn't mind. 

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

Pants and a clear view of her collarbone with no Duggar Modesty double shirting. Jinge is living dangerously.

[nst]

15 hours ago, BeccaGrim said:

I sometimes wonder what they talk about when the cameras aren't on.  Like what does Jeremy say to Jinger...

I am taking you shopping and creating a vibe for you. Don't think and don't ask questions.  Just do it 

[lomo6]

I'm also surprised by people who think things must be swell just because Jinger and Jeremy present well on Instagram.

They might be head over heels for all I know. But I have known multiple couples with envy-inducing social media presences who were deeply f*cked up behind closed doors. This includes a cousin who was being physically abused, but for years filled up her Facebook/Instagram with saccharine, PDA-filled posts about how she was the luckiest girl in the world, what a wonderful husband she had, etc. They even got matching tattoos! They are both stylish and quite attractive, which I think added to the perception that everything was going well for them. Thankfully, she left him a few years ago before any kids were in the picture.

And then a friend of mine from college has a similar online presence, even though I know first-hand that the marriage has involved a lot of substance abuse and infidelity. Unfortunately she got pregnant right around the time that it was sounding like she was starting to question things, so they're still together. And so now we get subjected to posts about how he's the best dad in the world, even though privately she's confided that he never lifts a finger and actively complains about how expensive diapers and other kid supplies are (even though they're loaded and he basically forced her to be a SAHM, but I digress). 

 

[ThunderRolls]

21 minutes ago, lomo6 said:

I'm also surprised by people who think things must be swell just because Jinger and Jeremy present well on Instagram.

They might be head over heels for all I know. But I have known multiple couples with envy-inducing social media presences who were deeply f*cked up behind closed doors.

SNIP

It definitely seems like the couples who constantly and publicly expound on their spouse's greatness are usually the ones with the most trouble - it's like they're trying to convince everyone (and themselves) that they're happy. 

One thing that I feel like might make all of the lovey-dovey Instagram posts mostly sincere is that Jinger and Jeremy are still pretty much in the early part of their relationship and don't have a baby yet. For Jinger, she's not forced to take care of her younger siblings while bunking in a madhouse anymore. She now has her very own house she can decorate like she wants - just that bit of freedom and newness is probably a big deal for her. I'm not a fan of Jeremy's as I feel like he's a phony, but I don't know if he's some controlling ass - and even if he is, it may still be better right now for Jinger than it was back in Tontitown. A baby, however, can rock even the most solid of couples so I think it's a very good thing that they don't have one yet. 

And the situation with your cousin sounds horrendous. The poor thing. 

[Jingeyk]

36 minutes ago, lomo6 said:

I'm also surprised by people who think things must be swell just because Jinger and Jeremy present well on Instagram.

They might be head over heels for all I know. But I have known multiple couples with envy-inducing social media presences who were deeply f*cked up behind closed doors.  

-snip

I'm of two minds - like you, I know several couples who've led perfect lives based off their insta/FB posts, but in real life they're an absolute mess. However, these people aren't normal the way you and I are, they're famous, and being public about their personal activities is important to their livelihood (keep the show going, keep recruiting people for jeremys church, etc). So while I don't disagree with the potential truth behind your assessment, I think it's also important to remember that it probably is all for show, but for a different reason - not trying to convince everyone their marriage is fine, but to keep people engaged and actively following them (= more $$$)

[eveandadam]

Jinger and Jeremy were at the Getty Villa in California. There are lot of naked sculptures there (roman style). I wonder what Jinger was thinking about them? Would this be considered porn at the Duggar compound?

 

Also, and I've said this before: their relationship is so weird. It comes off as innocent and childlike, totally platonic and the constant love-pictures on instagram, hm....

Just my personal opinion: it looks like Jinger is in love with the her new lifestyle (= freedom, but security at the time, away from family, experiencing new things) rather than the man himself... and Jeremy seems to be in love with her innocence and submissiveness rather than the whole person of Jinger. It looks like on the outside he really is showing her new things but at the same time is keeping her on a short leash. What happens if Jinger get's back her spark and becomes a fully grown women, mentally I mean, having her own opinion on subject and uttering them. This won't go well with Jeremy...

In the beginning I liked them as a couple but now all I see is big bossy brother showing his little sister the world but keeping her in place.

 

 

[ThunderRolls]

24 minutes ago, Jingeyk said:

 I think it's also important to remember that it probably is all for show, but for a different reason - not trying to convince everyone their marriage is fine, but to keep people engaged and actively following them (= more $$$)

Very good point!  The Duggar couples all have a "brand" they're trying to promote and maintain via social media. As it stands, Jeremy doesn't have a very big congregation yet, and I'm positive he's hoping the Duggar fanbase will help promote it. I wonder when a book will be released (and of course promoted on Instagram)?

[Carm_88]

Oh there is definitely a promotion, they want people to watch the show and come to Jeremy's church. So they want to come off as quirky, young, and oh so much fun. Then you get to the church and Jeremy spits fire and brimstone at you. 

[nst]

everything is too perfect and cultivated and manipulated in their instagram feeds.  Nothing is original 

all staged...

just like jessa's whose all about the kids - which is fine... but jeremy and Jinger's are a whole new level of duplicity in a sense.  They are too perfect.. 

[Tangy Bee]

18 minutes ago, nst said:

everything is too perfect and cultivated and manipulated in their instagram feeds.  Nothing is original 

all staged...

just like jessa's whose all about the kids - which is fine... but jeremy and Jinger's are a whole new level of duplicity in a sense.  They are too perfect.. 

Yep, I feel the same way about Chad and Erin. But then again she did post a pic of of stuff her son had thrown in the toilet. 

[SassyPants]

I'm beginning to think that Jeremy does not/did not want a frumpy housewife for a mate. I know that not all skirts/dresses only women look frumpy, but I do believe that Jill does and Jessa often does as well- I don't think Jeremy wanted that, maybe because his reputation as a minister needed (wanted?) better than that in a wife/trophy? I don't know. It does seem that this life suits both Jeremey and Ginger. Good for them. None of these second generation, adult Duggars should be forced to live JB and M's version of life. I suspect once Jessa has 7 kids under 8, the allure will be lost as well.

[lomo6]

@ThunderRolls @Jingeyk

Oh yeah, I'm not suggesting that the fact that they have a super polished social media presence means they're definitely compensating for something. I just don't think we can ascertain anything either way, and the fact that they're more attractive/fashionable and media savvy than, say, Jill and Derrick doesn't mean they have a better relationship or are happier (though I have plenty of other reasons to think not all is well chez Dillard). 

 

[ThunderRolls]

Totally agree with you, @lomo6! 

[Lurky]

My take on Jinger's clothing: It's really, REALLY weird to see a 23 year old woman only getting the chance to start experimenting with fashion and her look after she's married.  It's really tragic to me that this is the first time she gets to wear trainers or jeans, for example.

When I was 13 or 14, my mum started giving me an allowance to buy some of my own clothes (ETA on top of her carrying on buying basics like jeans, schoolclothes etc).  It was £15 a month, which is around £26 in today's money, or $33, so I didn't have much freedom there, but I could buy things like a shirt, or a t-shirt for a cause I believed in, and I loved charity shops, and could pick up eg a velvet jacket or a hippy shirt that made me happy.  And I could ask my parents for clothes for Xmas/birthday, and use money I got given, and later earned babysitting as I got older, so I could shape my own style even though I didn't have a huge amount of cash to fling about.

And Jinger's never had this - not only did she have the family's modesty codes, the sisters shared clothes (source: all the comments about how when Jill got married, she took the best clothes; the mustard cardigan).  It is really upsetting to me that she had to wait until her early twenties, and rely on her husband's approval, to do things that most people take for granted as a teenager - wear trainers!  Have a high ponytail!  Wear trousers! 

And this is just the superficial.  She was denied meaningful education, the chance to develop resilience and have experiences by herself, to make friends with people she chose, to have the least bit of personal autonomy.  It's like keeping a plant root-bound, stunting its growth and making it struggle for basic nutrients, living thirsty, and now it the plant has been re-potted, so it's thriving more, but we don't know if it's been planted into the ground where it can grow as it likes, or just been put into a slightly bigger pot it will grow out of too.

[calimojo]

@SassyPants  I sure hope Jessa figures that out well before 7 kids. 

Jinger and Jeremy are probably still in a honeymoon phase.  Hopefully they are genuinely getting to know each other and really growing. 

But everyone is right, you can't just look at social media and think that means anything

 

[Lurky]

ETA Do we know how Jeremy is making money?  Is the wardrobe upgrade happening on Jinger's TLC dime?

I ask, because a friend of mine grew up as a Pastor's Kid, and their family had a lot of side-eye about how they were spending their money from a minority of the congregation who felt they should have a say.  So when, eg, he had flashy-looking trainers, bought on massive discount in the sale, his mum had snarky comments about it - even though they were living in poverty, because of that combo of the pastor's salary being small, and his parents giving a lot of it away to people who needed help. 

But it seems like the Vuolos live well, for a couple with such a small congregation - fame money?  Things like free dinners if they @ in the restaurant? Vuolo-family money?

[JesusCampSongs]

I have always gotten the impression that Jeremy is styling himself as a benevolent dictator patriarch of his home and his church. Sure, his beliefs are fucked up and retrograde, but he's just so kind and charming and charismatic that his wife and congregation want to do what he tells him of their own free will er predestined whatever sign of their election among the mean-spirited and self-righteous chosen ones. That said, I don't necessarily see him as wanting to be  a megachurch pastor in itself; I think he wants a medium-large congregation and a bigger following reading his books and website. He clearly values education and coming across as educated and informed, so I'm not sure that he'd want to be a celebrity pastor like, say, Joel Osteen or pre-scandal Mark Driscoll. I think he wants to be like John Piper, who had a good-sized church but is more well-known as a writer and theologian. 

I can see Jinger being appealing to him in that it's probably easier for him to mentor and mold her into being the kind of complementarian spouse he wants than trying to find someone in the secular world who is willing to head down that road of her own volition. I'm not going to pretend like it's not pretty creepy, and I'd probably choose dying alone over being in a relationship like that, but compared to some of the other men we follow, Jinger could have done a lot worse. 

[Greendoor]

A lot seem so be thinking Jeremy is in control of or leading her.

Perhaps she was tentative (always seemed to want to be fashionable in the old days) and he just said "go for it".   I can't imagine anyone with her upbringing going straight for a string bikini.  This may just be him NOT being controlling.  His father and mother seem normal, his sister isn't held hostage as far as I have seen.

 

 

[jerkit]

I sort of identify with jinger right now. I realized a couple months ago that I'm a grown ass woman and I can wear what I want. I've been concerned with being appropriate and being not noticed my whole life and so I'm having a bit of a renaissance with my clothes. And tattoos HA.

[Palimpsest]

On 8/19/2017 at 0:25 PM, louisa05 said:

My life was badly impacted by spiritual abuse while working in an evangelical organization,

I have to ask - how and why?  Were you a member of that particular evangelical organization?   Let us not trivialize the term. Please and thank you.

 "Spiritual Abuse" is a very real and very specific thing.  

A temporary (and perhaps) very toxic workplace (taking your word for that) is not the same as being spiritually abused. 

[marmalade]

8 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

Oh there is definitely a promotion, they want people to watch the show and come to Jeremy's church. So they want to come off as quirky, young, and oh so much fun. Then you get to the church and Jeremy spits fire and brimstone at you. 

It's Mars Hill all over again, only with hundreds fewer people in the congregation.