Jinger 29: New House and New Wardrobe

[BullyJBG]

12 minutes ago, JesusCampSongs said:

I hope that Jinger isn't pregnant because she doesn't want to be and not because she can't. 

Apart from the usual, passive-aggressive, "we'll be praying for you"s that she's probably already on the receiving end of, what can they really do to her? She lives far away, they won't kick her off the show (it would bring the whole situation to light and make them look bad), and even if they did, she and Jeremy are probably financially independent from the show anyway. 

I was hoping that if Jeremy and Jinger are having fertility problems, that the sisters who pulled the "are you pregnant yet?" thing have their THs saying how bad they feel about that. Jana's pretty close, or has been pretty close to Michaela Keilen, so hopefully TLC would them milk that for all it's worth. Not to mention a confession from Jimbob for all his "be fruitful and multiply" talks after every wedding. And that includes Brandon and Michaela's.

  But TLC has plenty to work with on them, like pulling interviews on Jinger about how she went from skirts-only to publicly wearing pants and shorts, and NOT just for the appropriate sports. And where she may say "I do have a job but filming can't be done there".

[SassyPants]

I wonder if Joy being PG, while the shorts and pants wearing Ginger living in ebil , dangerous TX  for close to a year of married life and not conceiving has JB reformulating his approach and retooling (because JB is a tool) his 50 page, pre-engagement questionnaire?

You know that JB is thinking that every time one of kiddos moves out of Arkansas, there's trouble...even though Josh has been in trouble in every place that he has ever lived.

[RosyDaisy]

@Queen, you would be most welcome at my church. We do not believe there is anything wrong with being LGBT+.

[PainfullyAware]

I hope Jinger isn't being shamed for not getting pregnant yet. Or pressured by constant pregnancy questions. I also hope she isn't heartbroken over some infertility issues. Although I'm pretty sure it's only after a year of trying they even investigate any issues and it's only been 9 months or so since marriage for her. 

My feeling is that whatever her and Jeremy have decided she is very much on board. She may feel some family pressure but I think she's really emotionally separated from the clan and bonded to Jeremy. 

[Jenn The Heathen]

1 minute ago, PainfullyAware said:

 She may feel some family pressure but I think she's really emotionally separated from the clan and bonded to Jeremy. 

This is the vibe I get, too.  And when you think about it, it makes a ton of sense.  There were so many people in the Duggar household growing up, how were any of the kids supposed to form emotional bonds?  Add to that all the chores and who has time to just get to know their siblings?  With the exception of the buddy groups, I'd imagine it was pretty difficult.  And don't get me started on how impossible it would have been to establish more than a superficial bond between child and parent in that environment.

So now Jinjer are spending oodles of time alone together and do seem to genuinely love each other and you can see where she'd be able to finally develop a deep bond with someone after the chaos that was her childhood.

[imokit]

Eh - if I were Jinger and I was preventing I'd probably be implying infertility to the folks to keep them off my back.  Keeping things vague like "we're waiting and praying for god to bless us," [in a year or two when we ready],or "god hasn't blessed us yet," [and hasn't overridden the birth control we're doing].

[Jug Band Baby]

On 8/9/2017 at 6:00 AM, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I think Jinger is now thinking that she is a little better than her family, hence the faces and the not really missing her siblings much.  Jinger's new brain is classier and less principled because it will sell out its faith for the money. IMO anyway.  

I don't think she thinks she's better.  I think she's just like a person who has been captive and finally getting a taste of freedom and is going crazy with it for now.  And I think she and her sisters are so different that she probably wasn't so close to them as they were to each other.  She's the daughter who had an open dream of getting out of there.  The rest were and are content to stay on Daddy's land.  Her dreams of more than that were always shut down fast.  and now she's still not pregnant.  She's fundy, but doesn't seem to be in the same branch as her family.

And her parents sold their faith and their family to TLC for money.  So if she's doing the same, she's not doing something that wasn't done.  If anything at all, her dad's going to be jealous he couldn't hack it on stage.

[Jug Band Baby]

11 hours ago, Gillyweed said:

Not to mention, sitcoms are always like "You haven't had sex in TWO MONTHS?!?!?" Which makes people think not having sex every other week makes them not-normal. 

My husband and I sought a marriage counselor, and were advised 2x a week, minimum.  Um, not if we don't wanna, we won't.

[FunDieDumDum]

I think it is quite possible (perhaps even likely?) that JinJer has been at least using NFP to avoid pregnancy thus far. I have two main reasons to speculate in this manner:

1- Unless I've missed something, there is nothing in Jeremy's professed beliefs, or those of his family, or in anything he or Jinger have said publicly, that even hints at a quiverfull mentality. They may not believe in artificial BC, but I've seen no indication at all that either of them thinks newly married couples must procreate as quickly as possible.

2- Remember how they apparently said they wanted "no house guests" for six months after they married? Assuming they actually did definitively state that, it indicates that the two of them sat down together and set up some guidelines, with specific timeframes attached, for the beginning of their married life. Whether, or when, to try to get pregnant would certainly have been a relevant topic for that discussion, so I personally think they might have agreed, for instance, to wait one year before "trying".

Regardless, I think it's great that Jinger is getting the chance to spread her wings a bit, and get used to adult and married life before taking on the responsibility of a baby. And, I hope that what we're seeing shared publicly is just the tip of the iceberg, and maybe she's even taken a job, or is taking college classes. Go, Jinger! 

[nastyhobbitses]

I get a very Alyssa Bates vibe from Jinger: more introverted and independent than her siblings, wants to do things on her own terms, has a creative streak, and loves her family, but doesn't love the chaos. This can come off as standoffish and her interest in fashion can make her seem "too good" to some people, but I think that she and Alyssa are both just better suited to smaller social circles and quieter lives than living in giant houses with umpteen siblings.

I don't think she'll ever really "break free" the way we want her to, but if she's living life the way she wants with someone she truly loves (even if he is a bit Prince Hans-y, I think he does genuinely care for her and she for him), and is able to wear clothes she likes and pursue the artistic things she likes to do (photography, which if her Insta is anything to go by, is rather good), that's pretty good.

[SamiKatz]

I seem to remember during the special, Jim Bob said something about Joy and Austin having the next grandbaby, not Jinger and Jeremy.  It made me think that it's acknowledged within the clan that JinJer are not planning to add to their family immediately, but is not mentioned publically as that's not the Duggar family "image".

 

[SeekingAdventure]

@SamiKatz

also, Joy was already preggers back then most likely, and I'd guess the family already knew. So it's not hard to assume that they are the next ones to be knocked up.. But I do think you are right, that it is sort of unspoken, but well known within the fam that JinJer aren't keen on multiplying just yet

[SassyPants]

3 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

I don't think she'll ever really "break free" the way we want her to, but if she's living life the way she wants with someone she truly loves (even if he is a bit Prince Hans-y, I think he does genuinely care for her and she for him), and is able to wear clothes she likes and pursue the artistic things she likes to do (photography, which if her Insta is anything to go by, is rather good), that's pretty good.

And isn't that the way that life is suppose to work? Every able adult should be allowed to make their own choices  (and, yes, even mistakes) in life.  Ginger was not put on this Earth to live JB or Michelle's version of life, just as those 2 were able to choose and live differently than their own parents.

[singsingsing]

 

[nst]

Jeremy seems way over doing the videos. 

[DillyDally]

Watched the videos without sound (let's face it, they all say the same every.damn.time anyway), but thumbs up for Jinger's low neckline   

[Seren Ann]

Jinger REALLY doesn't seem thrilled. I think this is the least enthusiastic of their silly congrats videos I've ever seen. If I were Joy I'd be a little put off. 

Maybe there is some merit to the "infertility" hypothesis for Jinger ? (quotes because it's been under a year so it's not really infertility yet, just taking longer than her sisters to conceive.) Jinger is quite slim and having so little body fat might hinder conception. 

To be honest, every time a Duggar daughter marries people on here think that this is finally the one who is more independent and will secretly use birth control. And really I have never seen any evidence of that. These are people from a cult who glorifies producing children above all else. They have been indoctrinated since birth that that is what gives them value as women. They believe birth control is a sin akin to murder. I don't think it's impossible that one of them will one day use birth control, but I think it's unlikely that they would turn to birth control straight after marriage, and I also won't believe that they are until it becomes really obvious, and that's certainly not the case here.

[Skeptic]

I feel bad for them both: Joy, for signing away the rest of her independent life so young, without ever having any time alone to find herself without a "headship," and without any time to adjust to married life. And Jinger, for having to pretend to be excited for her baby sister having a baby. Whether Jinger is choosing to wait to start a family or not, that has to be very strange for her. To echo what many others have already said, I hope that she's enjoying her independence and living life mostly free of family pressure. At 23, she has the whole world open to her.

[SnazzyNazzy]

1 hour ago, nst said:

Jeremy seems way over doing the videos. 

If they had any sense, they should just spend a day, making congrats videos. Make 5 or 6 "congrats on your blessing", for every sister.

[danni9242]

1 hour ago, Seren Ann said:

 

To be honest, every time a Duggar daughter marries people on here think that this is finally the one who is more independent and will secretly use birth control. And really I have never seen any evidence of that. These are people from a cult who glorifies producing children above all else. They have been indoctrinated since birth that that is what gives them value as women. They believe birth control is a sin akin to murder. I don't think it's impossible that one of them will one day use birth control, but I think it's unlikely that they would turn to birth control straight after marriage, and I also won't believe that they are until it becomes really obvious, and that's certainly not the case here.

I've not thought about it except for JinJer. Some of the kids have always seemed way more into the big family, new siblings, love of kids thing and Jinger is one of the few who I would say never came across as all that excited or willing to take care of the little ones. 

For Joy she has always been seen as a tomboy and I honestly think she may have felt much greater pressure over proving/fulfilling her 'womanliness'. I know Jinger has been surrounded by that doctrine for her whole life but she has also been taught to follow her headship. Jeremy comes from a family who overtly do not follow the Duggars rules and I feel confident that as part of the marriage counselling and advice the Vuolos will have given her the space to be honest about how many kids she wants and when. They seem like they would actually be able to show her the real science around contraception and that ultimately if Jeremy really wanted to use some form Jinger would agree whether she felt fully convinced or not.

[singsingsing]

2 minutes ago, SnazzyNazzy said:

If they had any sense, they should just spend a day, making congrats videos. Make 5 or 6 "congrats on your blessing", for every sister.

"Hey [insert names of couple]! We are sooooooo excited that you're [courting/engaged/married/expecting]! We know that you're going to love [getting to know each other/planning your wedding/married life/being parents]! Keep your focus on God and let the Lord direct your steps! Ya'll are so precious and we love you so much and are sooooooo happy for you! God bless! See you soon!"

[SnazzyNazzy]

25 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

"Hey [insert names of couple]! We are sooooooo excited that you're [courting/engaged/married/expecting]! We know that you're going to love [getting to know each other/planning your wedding/married life/being parents]! Keep your focus on God and let the Lord direct your steps! Ya'll are so precious and we love you so much and are sooooooo happy for you! God bless! See you soon!"

Exactly. They can even be extra crafty, and change their tops every video. 

[Audrey2]

6 minutes ago, SnazzyNazzy said:

Exactly. They can even be extra crafty, and change their tops every video. 

Except for Michelle. She must always wear a green monstrosity shirt.

[AtlanticTug]

This is going to be hard for Jinger no matter what.

If they have really been hoping to get pregnant but unable for 9-10 months, she is approaching the 1-year mark where she probably should see a doctor and there may be some issue with one of both of them. May be something relatively simple to treat, or not, but it would be stressful and very difficult to have to record these absurd videos as proof of your happiness for yet another sibling popping out a kid. We battled infertility for years - 5 fresh IVF cycles, 2 frozens, 6 losses, it's incredibly difficult to live under that stress.

If she hasn't been trying then she still has to live within the confines of her upbringing where her value is tied directly to her popping out babies like popcorn kernels. Being the only married Duggar offspring without a child - how do you think she ranks? How much positive attention will she get at family gatherings? Her own mother cares about nothing but having newborns around. It's tough even if she and Jeremy have consciously decided to wait, she can't escape the reality of her ridiculous family.

[Audrey2]

IAnother possibility is that Jinger loves her new, slightly free life, and feels badly for Joy that her alone time with her husband will soon come to an end. Jinger may also have seen the effect of a fast pregnancy on Jill and Derick's relationship, and may even see some behind the scenes effects on Jessa and Ben's that she was hoping joy wouldn't have to experience. But then I'm an optimist, perhaps too much so. I do vaguely remember a couple of discussions here about a couple of times Jinger didn't look enthused about having kids right away.