Carlin and Evan 1: Front Hugging Before Courting

[HereticHick]

1 hour ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

I thought it was interesting that Gil referred to Carlin as just a kid when discussing the topic of courtship. Interesting because Carlin is 19 and I seem to recall Alyssa getting married as a teenager. I would think with the way Carlin and Evan are head over heels for each other and wanting to make things official, that Kelly and Gil would be thrilled. Then again, it may just be that they think Carlin and Evan aren't mature enough for marriage but Alyssa and John were. 

I have yet to see evidence that Evan can support Carlin. There was one vague instagram post of him working in a hospital last August--but we have no current indication that he has a paying job.

 

[BeccaGrim]

Look, I think it was very AHHH that Alyssa got married so young. But look at Alyssa versus Carlin. Alyssa is VERY mature.  And John Wilson has a good job (several it would seem).  Carlin poses on IG and Alyssa closes her IG account to private.  Tori is more mature than Carlin. For all that they all talk about Carlin's huge heart, never met a stranger attitude when talking about whether she and Evan should court, she said quote "we both were cool with that."  Gil is going to say yes--make no mistake in thinking he won't, thats just tension for the show--but he's not wrong.

[nausicaa]

1 hour ago, JPickleDuggar said:

I think John may have had a stable enough job to provide for a family by then, and from the looks of it Evan may not. I believe Alyssa did a lot for the family, apparently the most organized Bates. So that probably had a lot to do with the approval to get married young.

Yes, I remember in Kelly's blog comments about Alyssa's engagement she said that her kids varied in maturity, and she definitely had kids who weren't ready to get married at 19 (at the time I assumed she was referring to Lawson). She then discussed how Alyssa had always been very organized, put together, and mature for her age.

I'm not into teen marriages for anyone, but I think we can all agree that Carlin is so not ready to be married (or a mother!) just yet and really comes off as a kid, whereas Alyssa at least superficially could pull her shit together. Evan also seems much more immature than John, who was well into his twenties and had a good, stable job in HVAC when he married Alyssa.

[faraway]

Alyssa was/is mature and John was older than Evan. While I don't think John's job is particularly good, they seem to have good work ethic. I wonder if John and Alyssa would encourage their kids to get an education seeing how they have to work hard on jobs that probably don't pay extremely well. 

It would be perfectly fine for Carlin to have a boyfriend but in their world it's either marriage/babies or bust so I can see why Gil and Kelly could be trying to slow her down. I have a lot of respect for Tori for not wanting to get married before she's done with college. But it's ridiculous that that's an unusual thing to happen.

[RosyDaisy]

John is also the son of a Senator. Alyssa could of been brain deaf. No way was Gil going to say no to that. He wanted the prestige.

[SayWhat]

John & Alyssa seem to have a strong work ethic and do not seem to be the typical fame whoring fundie grifters.  IMHO,  Alysssa  was mature enough to recognize she wanted separation from the shit show & public spectacle that is her family and saw John as a way out.  Not out of the religion, just out of her cray cray family.  

 In terms of  Carlin & Evan, due to their immaturity,  seemingly  popularity in fundie circles and that fact that Gil is a master grifter  I can see Carlin & Evan turning into huge fame whoring fundie grifters.  Not sue they will go full on Dillard but they will at least rival Bin & Blessa in fundie circles.  IMHO,   Carlin really needs a college experience or full time job experience to give her some maturity.  Out of all the reality show fundies, she seems the least ready to marry.  

Have we ever seen a fundie father say no to a courtship or asking for their daughter's hand in marriage ?  

[Kangaroo]

Quick question. Which college did Evan attend/what did he study?

I've noticed we've talked about the other special friends and college, but I haven't seen anything about Evan.

[HereticHick]

16 hours ago, RosyDaisy said:

John is also the son of a Senator. Alyssa could of been brain deaf. No way was Gil going to say no to that. He wanted the prestige.

Daniel Webster is a member of the U.S.  House of Representatives, not Senator. He represents Florida's 11th Congressional District.

 

@Kangaroo I don't believe we have evidence that Evan Stewart has any sort of post high-school education.

[RosyDaisy]

Oops! Sorry. That's what happens when I do too many things at once.

[stardust]

19 hours ago, SayWhat said:

Have we ever seen a fundie father say no to a courtship or asking for their daughter's hand in marriage ?  

The only example I have is that Bobby asked Gil about courtship when he and Tori were just starting to get to know each other and Gil apparently told him to wait until they were better friends first (this wasn't aired on the show, but Gil recounted the conversation in a talking head last season). We'll see if the same thing happens in the new episode with Evan. 

On ‎9‎/‎11‎/‎2017 at 10:52 AM, JPickleDuggar said:

I think John may have had a stable enough job to provide for a family by then, and from the looks of it Evan may not. I believe Alyssa did a lot for the family, apparently the most organized Bates. So that probably had a lot to do with the approval to get married young.

I recall Gil once said that Alyssa even did the family's taxes! Truthfully she was probably their most mature child out of the nineteen kids when they were all living at home, possibly excluding Michael. She planned all their meals, parties, holidays, etc. Clearly she also dealt with their finances as well. It's no wonder her parents viewed her differently than they currently view Carlin. 

[nokidsmom]

22 hours ago, RosyDaisy said:

John is also the son of a Senator. Alyssa could of been brain deaf. No way was Gil going to say no to that. He wanted the prestige.

I have often wanted to say the above.

I have no illusions that John being son of a Congressman was a factor in Gil saying OK.  No way was he going to pass that up.  Not that I don't think John and Alyssa don't care for each other, I think they really do but let's be honest, Gil's eyes had to have lit up over the prospect of his daughter marrying a Congressman's son.  Not just the prestige but it has to give him some sort of validation.  For even if he is an IBLP heavy hitter, he can't be popular with everybody as I think his grifting has gotten old with some people.

That said, though seems that Alyssa did a lot for the family.  She was the designated cook in addition to the other things mentioned.    While that might make her more mature and hard working for her age, something that seems to pay off for her now, it would also make her more valuable to the household.  I think that would make Gil want to hold on to her similar to Sarah Maxwell for example.  So it would take quite the suitor to make Gil give her up and John was that suitor.  Sounds cynical, and it is, but but I always had the sense that Gil wants his kids to marry well, meaning into true believer, established fundie families and if that rubs off on his so much the better.

Alyssa got lucky in order to escape out of there and I know she knows it     Probably doing as much as she did, she was probably bringing some order out of the chaos and was relieved to not have to have that burden on her anymore plus she could use those skills to build her own life.  Which is how it should be.

[VelociRapture]

@nokidsmomGil and Kelly couldn't afford to hold on to their elder children. Literally. It was too many mouths to feed. That's likely the biggest reason they were cool letting the eldest kids go. That, plus they have daughters evenly spaced in the birth order. So when one leaves it's not a big deal since there are several more of an age where they can take over the work.

And as @HereticHickpointed out, Daniel Webster ("Taliban Dan") is a member of the House of Representatives, not the Senate.

[nokidsmom]

@VelociRapture true, Gil and Kelly literally can't afford to hold on to their kids, however Alyssa was still quite young when she was courting John. Given that and the level of family support she was providing it could be easier for Gil to hang on to her at least for a while.   She was helping out at home plus working a job (flower shop) which no doubt would help support the family, I don't think Lawson was the only one to help out tbh.

One thing I will have to give Gil and Kelly credit for (and just this one thing because I think they are terrible parents in many ways) at least they aren't hanging on to their daughters like Steve Maxwell or all of their kids like the Arndts.    

[JordynDarby5]

1 hour ago, VelociRapture said:

@nokidsmomGil and Kelly couldn't afford to hold on to their elder children. Literally. It was too many mouths to feed. That's likely the biggest reason they were cool letting the eldest kids go. That, plus they have daughters evenly spaced in the birth order. So when one leaves it's not a big deal since there are several more of an age where they can take over the work.

That's a good point. If Tori and the other girls were a lot younger or there were less girls that might have changed how quickly they married off the older girls. Or maybe not. Gil and Kelly have no problem sending their kids off to Zach's and Erin's houses. 

[Kangaroo]

9 hours ago, HereticHick said:

@Kangaroo I don't believe we have evidence that Evan Stewart has any sort of post high-school education.

I wonder how much this influences their opinion. Evan isn't studying or has completed a degree, and as far as we know does appear to have a trade or skill that could be used to support a hoard of kids.

Every other (male) suitor has had something they could do to bring in an income after marriage or is working towards that goal. Evan's occupation and career goals or plans seems to remain a mystery (if I'm not mistaken).

[Nikedagain?]

On 9/12/2017 at 10:53 AM, HereticHick said:

Daniel Webster is a member of the U.S.  House of Representatives, not Senator. He represents Florida's 11th Congressional District.

LOL! All I can think about is how everyone on The Office kept correcting Angela, "He's a STATE senator"

But anyway! We may have discussed this in the past, I can't remember, but haven't Gil and Kelly said that they believe Carlin to be the child most likely to have 19 kids? Or did I dream that...

[Kangaroo]

26 minutes ago, Nikedagain? said:

But anyway! We may have discussed this in the past, I can't remember, but haven't Gil and Kelly said that they believe Carlin to be the child most likely to have 19 kids? Or did I dream that...

You're correct. There's definitely two  of those "Name those Bates" segments on YouTube. In one Kelly names Michael and the second time she named Carlin. I saw them the other day while trying to hunt down a different clip. 

[JillyO]

On 13.9.2017 at 11:50 PM, Kangaroo said:

You're correct. There's definitely two  of those "Name those Bates" segments on YouTube. In one Kelly names Michael and the second time she named Carlin. I saw them the other day while trying to hunt down a different clip. 

Ugh. How sad that they probably filmed it with a new answer now that it's very clear Michael won't be having 19 kids. Shame that that doesn't make them reconsider their toxic beliefs.

[Kangaroo]

2 hours ago, JillyO said:

Ugh. How sad that they probably filmed it with a new answer now that it's very clear Michael won't be having 19 kids. Shame that that doesn't make them reconsider their toxic beliefs.

Actually no. Both were quite old and published in 2015. Possibly before Michael had even married.

[VineHeart137]

@Kangaroo is right, both segments were filmed before Michael was married. The first time Kelly got the question she said Michael, and Tori said that probably wouldn't happen because Michael was already too old (she was 25 at the time). That may be why Kelly switched her answer to Carlin the next time.

[JillyO]

Oh, okay. Thanks for pointing that out. Kind of weird that they made that video twice wih different answers, but @VineHeart137 is probably right about the reason.

[BeccaGrim]

The kids always say Tori.  I'm betting on Tori. She's young, they're starting early. I think Carlin won't like how kids take attention off of her. 

[doubleT]

There have been storylines before of how much Carlin loves kids, especially little kids.  It was during a episode where the Bates went camping with other families in their church and Carlin "babysat" or entertained the little kids while the older kids and parents were off doing fun things.  I remember being a little nervous because their were several littles and they were by a small creek.  

Bobby's from a small family, right?  

 

[VBOY9977]

So they're celebrating a one year anniversary... I wonder if it's of the day they met, or the day they started being special friends? They introduced us to Evan in march so I don't thing they hit it for 6 months but who knows...

also, according to the pizza pic Evan does have a job. I have now idea what it is though..

 

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[nastyhobbitses]

6 hours ago, VBOY9977 said:

So they're celebrating a one year anniversary... I wonder if it's of the day they met, or the day they started being special friends? They introduced us to Evan in march so I don't thing they hit it for 6 months but who knows...

also, according to the pizza pic Evan does have a job. I have now idea what it is though..

<snipped the photos>

I'm happy for them, I guess, but calm the hell down, guys.

Also, I'm not into personalized couples things unless you're married AF/in a Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell situation and it's not likely that you'll split up. Those couples accoutrements just turn into really awkward Goodwill merchandise if anything goes awry in the relationship.