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Carlin and Evan 1: Front Hugging Before Courting


Coconut Flan

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Hey, some people marry their high school sweethearts, or their first ever boyfriend/girlfriend, and it works out just fine.
Like, I can imagine having married my high school boyfriend. I'm glad I didn't, but if for some reason we had gotten married, I think it probably could have worked out just fine. It's not necessarily an all or nothing thing.


I married my high school sweetheart, who was my first boyfriend! We have been together for 16 years and married for 12. Waiting 4 years to get married was a good move for us - we were certain of what we wanted at that point. It wasn't easy, but it was right for us!!

That said - I don't know a whole lot of other people like us. I totally get that the odds are against young marriages, and I feel very fortunate.
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On 7/27/2017 at 1:44 PM, lumpentheologie said:

Crying for more than a month seems like nothing compared to being stuck in a bad marriage with God knows how many children. I cried for 8 months after my last ex broke up with me. It was devastating. But I'm so glad we didn't get married. And divorce/not a ton of kids would have been much more realistic options for me than for Carlin.  

In my experience it's much better to feel horrible alone than to feel horrible because of someone you feel trapped with. 

I agree, but her not marrying Evan doesn't free her from that lifestyle. She will still more than likely be burdened with too many kids and a she's no more likely to have a good marriage with the next guy than she is with Evan. 

And I'm sure if they break up she's going to be very reserved in any future relationship and wait for commitment before saying I love you. 

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My SO isn't my first boyfriend, but we did start dating when I was 20 and he was 21. We went the the same grade school, middle school, and high school and had the same friend group. 

We took it (and are still taking it) very slow though. We "dated" (not calling each other bf/gf) for 7 months, moved in together after 4 years together, and have been together almost 6 years now. We still aren't married, but discuss it frequently and both agree that there is no rush to get married if we are going to be together forever. We plan to marry in maybe 2 years or so and hope to start a marriage on a great foundation.

We have done a lot of growing up together and it has been hard sometimes, but we really work on any issues we have and I swear our relationship gets better every year.

However, if i were fundie and pushed into marriage at 20 with the same guy and immediately started popping out kids, I don't think I would be nearly as happy. 

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I probably wouldn't have big hair. My hair has always been short. [emoji4]

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I married my third boyfriend! We started dating when we were 15 and I have zero regrets. It hasn't always been easy especially because we were long distance for 7 years BUT we made it because we were committed to each other and genuinely love each other and being around each other. That's why we made it, not because we're a special snowflake couple. Of course, these courting couples have zero life experience, get married after like a year of being together or less so it's going to be hard for them unless they continually work at their relationship. 

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Evan's parents seem to be pushing Carlin and him to the alter. That scene where they were looking at wedding pictures couldn't have been more obvious. I don't see Carlin and Evan breaking up. If anything, I think they may get married before Tori and Bobby.

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The producers probably set up the scene where they looked at wedding pictures. I have no idea whether they will get married or not.  They are way too young IMHO.

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I agree, they are too young and immature for marriage and kids.

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Carlin is only just 19. That's so young. Tori's only a couple of years older at 21 but at least she and Bobby said that they wouldn't get married until May next year when Tori graduates from Crown so she'll be 22 by then. Still young, but better than 19/20. Tori's also been shown to be a bit bratty/obnoxious but she seems more mature than Carlin.

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I wonder if Carlin may be more eager now that Joy is married. We don't see many pictures of them together, but it seems like those two are still very close. I don't see Evan and Austin having much in common, though...might make for some interesting double date nights lol

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On 7/30/2017 at 0:15 AM, RosyDaisy said:

Evan's parents seem to be pushing Carlin and him to the alter. That scene where they were looking at wedding pictures couldn't have been more obvious. I don't see Carlin and Evan breaking up. If anything, I think they may get married before Tori and Bobby.

I think after the Zach and Nathan debacles, no one is going on TV who they're not sure about. I'd be shocked if they weren't already courting considering the front hug.  They just haven't announced it. Go ahead Bates! Announce it!

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My sister met her husband when they were 15 and 17. They married in their early twenties but she moved in with him when she was just 17 (my parents were OK with it). They are still married and 50+. I think he was her first serious boyfriend but she did have some "candidates" before him.

My oldest brother met his wife at 16 and she was 17. They also married in their early twenties and are also still married and 50+. I think that it is likely she was his first girlfriend.

My middle brother met his wife when she was 15 and he 18. They moved in together when she was about 18-19 but didn't marry until they were in their late thirties-early forties. They are still together and are in their 40s. 

My younger brother and I met our partners after 20 and my brother is divorced. I am sure had my mom been alive she had said that we waited too long and my brother's failed marriage would be the evidence. She would probably go on telling me about how she is worried about my marriage for the same reason. They also married early and they were of the view that if you marry late you will need to adapt to the other person more but if you marry early you will somehow grow together. That happens for some, my sister and her husband really seems to be that type while my older brother and his wife for example would probably have been a good match regardless of age but I have so many friends who believed they would grow and grow old together and their relationships failed in their 20s.

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On 7/28/2017 at 0:34 PM, SamiKatz said:

My first boyfriend was my best - treated me better than any of the men I've dated since.

Unfortunately, he ended up in jail and my parents made me end it.

lol.

Aww, I was so close to up-arrowing this, and then read your second sentence. Ha ha!

I was lucky too, and had a great first bf in high school, though we broke up when he left for college.  From a distance - both time-wise and just seeing him now on social media - I can tell he's (still) a good man. He and my husband have quite a few personality traits in common.

I hope, @SamiKatz, that if you ever do want another relationship with a man, you find one who appreciates you and treats you well!

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Last Labor Day I was in a wedding where 8 out 14 of us were married or about to marry to their partner that they met in high school either started dating senior year of HS or within a year. Then 2 of us someone we met away at college before 20. The other 4 in the party were still high school. The pastor even brought it up during the service commenting on how there was something in the water at our old high school.

I believe about 25% of my high school graduating class ('08) are married to their high school sweetheart but are still living in the same bubble zone of our hometown.

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It wouldn't surprise me in the least if Tori/Bobby and Carlin/Evan are already engaged and Josie/Kelton courting. Also, Tori met Bobby through a college friend who is from Knoxville. That friend has to be Kelton. I bet the Balka's and the Bates are friends. Therefore, it's my opinion that Josie/ Kelton are like Joy/Austin. They have known each other for years, but only began having feelings for each other recently.

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On 8/3/2017 at 6:17 PM, elliha said:

That happens for some, my sister and her husband really seems to be that type while my older brother and his wife for example would probably have been a good match regardless of age but I have so many friends who believed they would grow and grow old together and their relationships failed in their 20s.

That happened to my sister. She married her first college boyfriend right after they graduated. She was one of those "ring by spring" types. I found it cringey and told her she was being an idiot (having recently ended a young engagement myself). She didn't listen, married him anyway, and was divorced six years later. By the time it ended, they had completely different life goals when they did when they were married and were living largely separate lives. Growing apart is definitely a thing, and statistically far more likely than growing together. 

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11 hours ago, JesusCampSongs said:

That happened to my sister. She married her first college boyfriend right after they graduated. She was one of those "ring by spring" types. I found it cringey and told her she was being an idiot (having recently ended a young engagement myself). She didn't listen, married him anyway, and was divorced six years later. By the time it ended, they had completely different life goals when they did when they were married and were living largely separate lives. Growing apart is definitely a thing, and statistically far more likely than growing together. 

A friend had a very long time boyfriend when she went to another town to go to college. They visited often and he was very supportive of her going to school but in the end she changed so much that they ended up splitting up after about 8 months or so. I think that had he moved with her they might have made it but distance and mental growth in her put them too far apart.

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On 7/31/2017 at 4:08 PM, BeccaGrim said:

I think after the Zach and Nathan debacles, no one is going on TV who they're not sure about. I'd be shocked if they weren't already courting considering the front hug.  They just haven't announced it. Go ahead Bates! Announce it!

So you can post tons of pictures of the two of you together, proclaim your love, call each other boyfriend and girlfriend and still not be courting?? That's messed up. 

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2 hours ago, SRC said:

So you can post tons of pictures of the two of you together, proclaim your love, call each other boyfriend and girlfriend and still not be courting?? That's messed up. 

Not in my world.

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On 8/4/2017 at 9:08 PM, RosyDaisy said:

It wouldn't surprise me in the least if Tori/Bobby and Carlin/Evan are already engaged and Josie/Kelton courting. Also, Tori met Bobby through a college friend who is from Knoxville. That friend has to be Kelton. I bet the Balka's and the Bates are friends. Therefore, it's my opinion that Josie/ Kelton are like Joy/Austin. They have known each other for years, but only began having feelings for each other recently.

Who is this Kelton?  How do you know about his interest in Josh?  Regarding Joy and Austin: I had the impression  (based on no facts, just a feeling) that they have been into each other for a long time already before they finally could start courting. 

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1 hour ago, vienna said:

Who is this Kelton?  How do you know about his interest in Josh?  Regarding Joy and Austin: I had the impression  (based on no facts, just a feeling) that they have been into each other for a long time already before they finally could start courting. 

Joy herself said in the after show that she had a crush on Austin for 4 years before they started courting 

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4 hours ago, vienna said:

Who is this Kelton?  How do you know about his interest in Josh? 

A few months ago during a Facebook live with the Bates, a viewer asked about any courtships/relationships. One of the little boys (Judson maybe?) said something about Josie and a name that sounded like either Calvin or Kelton. Someone on here did the research and found a guy named Kelton Balka who attends Pensacola Christian College, is friends with Tori's boyfriend Bobby, and lives in Tennessee. This was all an educated guess, until the description for an upcoming episode was posted and confirmed speculation.

IMG_8220.thumb.PNG.e6c74b75f5e0670c0b0fcde38889c427.PNG

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24 minutes ago, Mayluka said:

A few months ago during a Facebook live with the Bates, a viewer asked about any courtships/relationships. One of the little boys (Judson maybe?) said something about Josie and a name that sounded like either Calvin or Kelton. Someone on here did the research and found a guy named Kelton Balka who attends Pensacola Christian College, is friends with Tori's boyfriend Bobby, and lives in Tennessee. This was all an educated guess, until the description for an upcoming episode was posted and confirmed speculation.

IMG_8220.thumb.PNG.e6c74b75f5e0670c0b0fcde38889c427.PNG

I was just about to post this. I hope Josie holds off for while. She just turned 18. Kelton is bobbys friend.

Okay having an odd name made him easy to find. He went to PCC. Lives in Knoxville and is a plumber. Sadly he lost his mother who passed away at 39 due to child birth during her fifth child. IMG_2916.thumb.PNG.8ad7adce19bc8d5ff3477b7efa58cee3.PNG

This is very sad. She was super young. And as you can see he was home schooled. All the bates follow him. He's won bible quiz contests, so yeah uber religious. Very handsome. Josie is definitely going to probably pull an Alyssa. I hope Katie isn't feeling lonely having ball her sisters in relationships. I know she's close to Erin but still.

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Thanks to all of you for the update. I just saw, that I had a typo: "Josh" was of course supposed to mean "Josie" as you guys figured anyway. My autocorrect obviously knows, whom I post more about... :my_angel:

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