Carlin and Evan 1: Front Hugging Before Courting

[singsingsing]

2 hours ago, HereticHick said:

Was Marjorie Jackson 16 or 17 when she started courting Josiah? I guess I would presume she was "special friends" with him at age 16

I think she was 17. Ben Seewald was also 17 when he started courting Jessa.

(Frankly, I mark them as 'courting' when they're in the 'special friend' stage because I think 'special friends' is b.s. If they've gone public with it, I don't really care what they want to call it, they're obviously courting or dating.)

[HuggleMonster]

It makes me wonder how long Josie and Kelton were special friends before her birthday. I think they're aware of the age thing and make a conscious effort to not show anyone underage with a SF. 

I made a leg humper comment about how I like that KJ and Gil don't seem to push kids who are young into marriage compared to the Duggars. KJ and Erin (maybe chad?) both liked the comment. So I assume that's the image they want to project. 

[JesusCampSongs]

On 8/31/2017 at 0:45 AM, singsingsing said:

They seem to be rushing them into these relationships younger and younger. It's kind of scary (not that they're dating or even in serious relationships, that's totally normal, but that it's expected to lead to marriage within a year or so). I keep a spreadsheet of the Duggar and Bates families, and I mark everyone's relationship status as soon as they hit 16. I fully expect we'll see a 16-year-old with a 'special friend' before long. Some of them have started courting at 17, so it's not a huge leap.

Maybe now that the Bates parents are done with the Season of Life of Needing Sister Moms to Parent all the Infants, they're wanting the girls to leave-n-cleave so they don't have to support them anymore? It's obvious they don't have the financial resources that the Duggars do, and don't seem to be all that interested in the whole fam-damily living cult-style on the compound.  All of the married couples appear to be financially self-sufficient.

When you think about the kids who aren't in relationships, Lawson (assuming he still lives at home), Nathan, and Trace are all adults (who are presumably working and bringing money in to various degrees). Katie, Jackson, Warden, and Isaiah, while minors, are all old enough to be relatively self-sufficient. That leaves the youngest five, but knowing how they raise them, Addallee (11) and Ellie (10) are probably deemed sufficient to supervise Callie, Judson, and Jeb-- assuming they don't nearly burn the house down again. In other words, no reason to keep Tori, Carlin, Josie, and even Katie around for childcare and domestic labor. 

[Thorns]

In noe of the "in the next episode" blips they do on YouTube Fundie Zoolander asks Gill for a private chat. Gearing UP for courtship... (UP is actually my phone autocorrecting.) 

[Seculardaisy]

Evan was in the recording studio (it looks like the one Erin uses for her piano records) he posted in his IG stories that he was recording a song for Carlin. Based on her caption and my own assumptions I'm gonna guess he may have proposed either courtship or an engagement today depending on where they are in their relationship.

[BeccaGrim]

Unless they've been secretly courting this whole time, its courtship. And Boring Bobbie should be proposing to Tori soon

[anaandrade]

I also think it's courtship. Besides, there's no way they would miss the opportunity to make a big announcement of some sort. Fundies love attention.

[sunshine]

Yeah. I still don't trust him.

[Seculardaisy]

9 minutes ago, sunshine said:

Yeah. I still don't trust him.

He seems like the worst. This guy loves the BUB attention.

38 minutes ago, BeccaGrim said:

Unless they've been secretly courting this whole time, its courtship. And Boring Bobbie should be proposing to Tori soon

Yeah I think courting too but I know a lot of people have suggested that they may have been secretly courting already bc of that fancy dinner photo they posted on IG a few months ago. 

[justmy2cents]

The clip would have been from a few months ago. If anything happened today it could mean engagement.

[Seculardaisy]

11 minutes ago, justmy2cents said:

The clip would have been from a few months ago. If anything happened today it could mean engagement.

What clip?

[justmy2cents]

1 minute ago, Seculardaisy said:

What clip?

 

3 hours ago, Thorns said:

In noe of the "in the next episode" blips they do on YouTube Fundie Zoolander asks Gill for a private chat. Gearing UP for courtship... (UP is actually my phone autocorrecting.) 

I haven't seen it but the one Thorns is referring to.

[Thorns]

@Seculardaisy

 

Should have linked it the last time, but on the phone and lazy

[mstee]

Josie and kelton seem more mature than carlin and her beau. They just seem like an immature recipe for disaster. Also, in that pic upthread, they look like they're about to kiss. I always have to remind myself that no, they "can't" kiss and it just seems so awkward to have all the gestures there leading up to a kiss without the actual kiss. 

[Italiangirl]

At first i too think they was going to kiss after i realize that is impossibile they kiss Now. Is all so stupid and sad... 

I agree that from what we can see Josie and Kelton seems definitly more mature 

[Seculardaisy]

I seriously do not understand the Bates courting method anymore. They are "special friends" and then they are courting to avoid "losing heart strings." And yet these couples like Carlin and Evan and Josie and Kelton (with Tori and Bobby before that) are proclaiming their love, holding hands, hugging etc before they're even in the courting phase. So what at this point do they even have a courting phase for? It doesn't seem to differ at all from the special friend phase.

[Italiangirl]

I think that the only differente is the distance to the wedding, i mean special friend are just like dating, courtship is practically an engagement period and after there is wedding preparation phase. Mind you is all with good and marrige in mind so they are better than us  

[Andrea]

It seems that even her parents are trying to put the breaks on the relationship where as with the other couples they appear all for it.  Its probably  because  of how immature she acts.  Which leads me to wonder is it the editing on the show that makes her appear  more immature? 

[Seculardaisy]

1 hour ago, Italiangirl said:

I think that the only differente is the distance to the wedding, i mean special friend are just like dating, courtship is practically an engagement period and after there is wedding preparation phase. Mind you is all with good and marrige in mind so they are better than us  

At this point then the only difference between courting and engagement is that you get to plan your wedding in the latter phase.

1 hour ago, Andrea said:

It seems that even her parents are trying to put the breaks on the relationship where as with the other couples they appear all for it.  Its probably  because  of how immature she acts.  Which leads me to wonder is it the editing on the show that makes her appear  more immature? 

This is interesting to me because haven't John and Alyssa stated that they almost went straight to engagement and thought about skipping courting entirely? Alyssa was also very young, so I wonder if Gil and Kelly put the breaks on John and Alyssa's idea of skipping courting or if they would've been okay with it in Alyssa's case as they viewed Alyssa as more mature and John as a better suitor?

[Italiangirl]

I think pratcally this is the the only substscial difference, maybe with courtship you have to be a little less physicall affectionate, but  i'm not sure.  And their remember well till the Eataly phase of courtship you could still calling it off and say that afterall you wasn't so focus on marrying the other one   

[Italiangirl]

@Seculardaisy i found this on the family friends blog 

Spoiler

 

[seraaa]

1 hour ago, Italiangirl said:

@Seculardaisy i found this on the family friends blog 

  Hide contents

 

This is pretty much dating in all but name, except, as others have said, the "courtship" phase is basically a less firm commitment to marry

[mango_fandango]

Jesus there is so little difference between all those stages. The only thing that would make engagement special is a ring. I'd still say the Duggar system is weirder, though, what with Michelle and JB getting all hot under the collar when a merely courting couple HOLD HANDS *le gasp*. 

[stardust]

6 hours ago, Seculardaisy said:

I seriously do not understand the Bates courting method anymore. They are "special friends" and then they are courting to avoid "losing heart strings." And yet these couples like Carlin and Evan and Josie and Kelton (with Tori and Bobby before that) are proclaiming their love, holding hands, hugging etc before they're even in the courting phase. So what at this point do they even have a courting phase for? It doesn't seem to differ at all from the special friend phase.

That's what confused me about Nathan and Ashley's courtship. They held hands and carelessly threw around 'I love you' during the special friend stage, only to abandon ship mid-courtship because it suddenly dawned on them that they would actually have to get married. Watching Nathan cry on national television after the break up sure didn't seem like his heart was protected to me...(also do we have any evidence that the Bates have ever actually used the 'pieces of your heart' Duggar phrase because if so the way their courting couples behave is extremely hypocritical) 

[SamiKatz]

"Special friend" will always make me think of Jeff Lebowski's "special lady friend"