Seewalds 24 - Bought the House from Grandma

[SassyPants]

My daughter clothed diapered hers...with NO dryer. Now she lives just south of the equator, but still. On the plus side, her daughter trained, by choice, very early- fully day and night trained by age 2. That kid has a bladder like a camel. My daughter always says "why do people have such a hard time with potty training"?  I did offer up her "pooping in the closet" brother as a prime example!

[metheglyn]

4 hours ago, MsSaylor said:

Seriously. Also I've never seen evidence that Boobchelle cloth diapered anyway. 

Agreed. We don't know what they did with the older kids, so maybe there was cloth diaper use in there somewhere, but at least with the youngest ones we actually have evidence to the contrary. During the ice storm episode they ended up having the filming crew bring them new disposable diapers since they'd run out and the crew was already braving the storm to come to the house. So there's definitely proof for at least the use of disposables rather than evidence of cloth.

[SapphireSlytherin]

4 minutes ago, metheglyn said:

bring them new disposable diapers

Yet another argument for always having about two dozen cloth diapers on-hand!

[fluffernutter]

We cloth diapered our last baby. Other than traveling, it was pretty easy once you got used to it. But if we went away or were going through illness or whatever, we would use disposables. 

[sta_sha]

I had planned to cloth diaper as I've had a number of friends do it with great success. Then we found out it's twins and I've decided to use disposables instead. It may not be the most cost effective, but my sanity has a price too and two babies will make for a lot of dirty diaper laundry!

[PennySycamore]

@SassyPants, with my firstborn who did not do well in disposables, I used flat diapers and I hung them on the line.  The first ones would be dry before I finished hanging out the clothes.

@VineHeart137, maybe you're supposed to dump the poop in the toilet, but you really can't dunk them in the toilet like you can with cloth.  They disintegrate.

[SapphireSlytherin]

4 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

dump the poop in the toilet

Good luck with that if it's a sitting or lying-down poop.

[Cheetah]

3 hours ago, SassyPants said:

My daughter clothed diapered hers...with NO dryer. Now she lives just south of the equator, but still. On the plus side, her daughter trained, by choice, very early- fully day and night trained by age 2. That kid has a bladder like a camel. My daughter always says "why do people have such a hard time with potty training"?  I did offer up her "pooping in the closet" brother as a prime example!

The camel bladder ... one of my 3 has it, and yes, he was definitely the easiest to potty-train.  He was dry at night as soon as he was day-trained, too, and to this day I (well, he's a teen now so it would be his call anyway at the point but let's say I'm talking about when he was 5-12) I don't make him use the toilet at rest stops, etc 'just in case'.  

[Bad Wolf]

Long journeys when the kid were small, "You have to go again?" Now the grandkids are saying the same to us . 

[calimojo]

Given that they don't even use real dishes or cutlery, I find it hard to believe they would have used cloth diapers.  And, as much as I hate to feel empathy for Michelle,  I can't imagine the laundry if she would have been using cloth diapers on multiple babies at the same time.  She likely always had 2-3 or more kids in diapers or training pants for years.  That on top of the rest of the laundry, and her famous laundry meltdown would have become legendary. 

[PainfullyAware]

I've always thought I'd like to give one of those cloth diaper services a try. They pick up the dirty ones and deliver clean new ones. Apparently it's not more than $10 a week more expensive then disposable diapers, according to one friend. So it's popular with eco friendly types who can afford to pay a bit more (I'm not sure I'll be in that category but if I could, I would). 

[speller24]

On 8/8/2017 at 11:11 AM, frugalitymom said:

I wonder if she resented having to be a sister mom and that's why she was so cold to her siblings.  

Parenting your siblings against your will and parenting your own kids is totally different.  It wasn't a situation where it was necessary to care for her siblings due to no parents it was forced upon her by a mother who horded babies.

This is it. I totally believe that's why she always seemed so disinterested with her siblings. It was a chore for her. Whereas being a mother is her role in life. That's her purpose, and she has found joy in that purpose (or so it seems thanks to instagram) She's had such a different parenting experience then Jill. I do believe that Ben helps her with a lot of the parenting, and I'm not so convinced Dereck does much with Izzy. He always talks about him like he's reading an owners manual, instead of how the father's I know talk about their kids.  In contrast, some of Ben's most put together thoughts have been about his children.

Then Jill had to move to Danger America and live the life she wanted as a 19 year old (quotes from the earlier episodes when she went to El Salvador the first time and stated she wanted to be a missionary), but it's not what she imagined it would be. It's hard, scary, dirty, unsafe, and to top it off she has an infant to take care of. That takes a toll on a person's mental health-especially considering the damage done by the Gothardism upbringing. Jessa bloomed as a mother, and Jill withered. 

[Fluffy14]

Way back in the late late 80's-mid 90'so I did cloth . I got new fangled velcro diapers, I did diaper service, made my own diapers and even tried the old fashioned curity diapers.  They were more of a pain with leaks, but over all I liked them. They saved us so much money. When my last baby came around mid 90's I succumbed to disposable. They were waaaay better at night but over all I still liked the cloth. My three previous cloth wearing kids transitioned to the toilet full time by two. My last baby was still wetting the bed at almost 4.

I used those damn pull ups instead of those waffle foam potty training pants. That kid had no clue if he was wet or dry. He couldn't even feel pee. It was frustrating like crazy as all of the others transitioned with ease.

I finally had to put the waffle foam underpants on him and he finally potty trained. None of them enjoyed the soppy wet warm to cold pissy pants.

[nvmbr02]

I cloth diapered 2 out of our 3. We never had a issue with leaks or blowouts with cloth, like we did with disposables. We used cloth pretty much 100% of the time, even traveling and camping and stuff. We did use the occasional disposable here and there though. 

Funny thing is my oldest was the one who we used disposables with and she potty trained the easiest. She wasn't even two yet, My son took quite awhile, the cloth didn't really help with him at all. Once he hit 3 1/2 he finally got the hang of it. He just wasn't ready before then and he really didn't care if he was wet. The youngest was also in cloth and she potty trained pretty on average I think, she was a bit over 2 1/2.

[SapphireSlytherin]

7 hours ago, Fluffy14 said:

I used those damn pull ups instead of those waffle foam potty training pants.

Those damn pull-ups are only a money-maker for the diaper industry. When GryffindorDisappointment potty-trained herself (yes, really), I put her in those thick terry cloth training pants covered with a pair of plastic "pants" ("pants" in the British definition) at night, just in case. She HATED them - plus she never wet them. She insisted on "big girl panties" so we went to the PX and she picked out her new britches:  Barney and Disney Princesses. She never peed them, she was SO PROUD of them. lol

[backyard sylph]

I had six kids, and I think part of the reason it took the youngest two rather longer to potty train is because of the disposable pants. I think if I were to do it over, I'd work harder to use them only at night until the days were under control with regular padded underwear, and then go to work on nights without them.

[Guest]

I had every intention to cloth nappy my children but in the end disposables won out for conscience sake. Here in the UK laundry services are rare but in some areas are more popular. I don't blame Jessa for using branded, you often get what you pay for with nappies!

[Carm_88]

I think another distinction between Ben and Derick is that Ben had experience with babies/children before. Ben had a fair amount of younger siblings, so he would know more what to expect. I'm not saying that he was a complete hands on older brother but he at least had an idea of how much work babies are. Derick on the other hand only had Dan and I'm not sure how much experience he had with babies before. That may be part of Ben being more natural whereas Derick is awkward. 

[nastyhobbitses]

15 hours ago, SassyPants said:

My daughter clothed diapered hers...with NO dryer. Now she lives just south of the equator, but still. On the plus side, her daughter trained, by choice, very early- fully day and night trained by age 2. That kid has a bladder like a camel. My daughter always says "why do people have such a hard time with potty training"?  I did offer up her "pooping in the closet" brother as a prime example!

When my parents potty-trained my younger sister, I left fake dog poop in the living room because five-year-old logic dictated that my parents would give me M&Ms instead of my sister, because they would think that she crapped in the living room (so no "yay you pooped in the toilet" M&M reward), and give me M&Ms for reporting the poop.

[PennySycamore]

11 hours ago, Bad Wolf said:

Long journeys when the kid were small, "You have to go again?" Now the grandkids are saying the same to us . 

My middle daughter potty-trained when we were on vacation.  We were having to stop constantly because she said she needed to go. Now another daughter is experiencing the "joy" of vacation potty-training with her 2 year-old.

@Fluffy14, my youngest would not potty train at all wearing pull-ups.  She just never got uncomfortable wearing them no matter how wet or dirty.

@SapphireSlytherin,  I pretty much let my girls potty-train themselves.  I first learned of this in the book Mothering You Nursing Toddler.  Norma Jane Bumgartner wrote that none of her children nursed anymore and neither did they wear diapers as they stopped nursing and stopped diapers when they were ready.   (These things were not simultaneous and sometimes I took steps to wean them.)  With my youngest, she'd get distracted by the stuff on the bathroom counter and so I bought her Lion King panties and told her that she didn't want to pee on Simba and Nala.

[Season of life...]

I don't have kids, but I've been privy to the trials and tribulations of potty training for a few of my friends' children. My favorite training story is about my friend's twins, a boy and a girl.

The girl trained herself quite early after being denied entry into the play area at Ikea. That was all it took. They went home, she took off her diaper, and forever after she used the toilet. Magic.

Her brother on the other hand...nope. He liked the convenience of diapers because he didn't want to stop playing to use the bathroom. He didn't give a fig about Ikea, and didn't mind soiled diapers. He enjoyed having his needs met by mom. This went on until he was nearly four. In desperation, my friend finally tried to bribe him with some underwear that he really liked from the Disney Store. She told him he would have to promise to use the toilet if she bought them--no more diapers. He put the underwear back on the shelf and walked away.

I actually had to admire his honesty, and to a point, his resolve. He wanted those Buzz Lightyear underpants badly, but nope, he wasn't willing to lie to get them. 

[calimojo]

1 hour ago, Carm_88 said:

I think another distinction between Ben and Derick is that Ben had experience with babies/children before. Ben had a fair amount of younger siblings, so he would know more what to expect. I'm not saying that he was a complete hands on older brother but he at least had an idea of how much work babies are. Derick on the other hand only had Dan and I'm not sure how much experience he had with babies before. That may be part of Ben being more natural whereas Derick is awkward. 

I think this is a really good point.  I feel like I remember seeing Ben's mom talk about how helpful Ben was with his younger sibs back when Jessa and Ben were engaged.  And to be fair, not everyone is a natural with kids, and it doesn't mean they don't love the kid.

I think a lot of men and certainly some women, just don't feel comfortable or even enjoy little kids a ton, but do really well with school agers, or tweens/teens.  Maybe that is Derick.

My own husband, who was wonderful with our littles, has confessed to me, that while he enjoyed that phase, he just felt much more natural when they got to be about 7 and older.   He really related well to them at that age, helping them learn specific tasks, or skills, and doing research for homework, etc. 

Derick has been active on Twitter again, with lots of messages about Israel.  I think he is trying to do damage control with these posts.  He probably realizes his base really cares more about the kidlets more than the adults.  And he is unlikely to draw too much criticism by posting about his kids.

[nastyhobbitses]

56 minutes ago, calimojo said:

My own husband, who was wonderful with our littles, has confessed to me, that while he enjoyed that phase, he just felt much more natural when they got to be about 7 and older.   He really related well to them at that age, helping them learn specific tasks, or skills, and doing research for homework, etc. 

My mom has straight-up said to me that her favorite ages for me and my sister were when we were around 6-9 months old (because we were cute little babies, but had started to develop personalities and were a bit more interactive than the newborn phase...but couldn't talk back yet), and then when we became adults to whom she could relate as equals. It's not that she didn't love us from age 1 to age 19 or so, but that she simply prefers autonomy, quiet, and order to the messiness, dependence, and hectic nature of children and teenagers.

I think that teaching/working with a variety of age groups has shown me that I personally relate best to elementary school-aged kids and toddlers. I taught middle school and it was hell for me. I can handle wrangling and redirecting younger kids easily, but getting 13-year-olds to straighten up and fly right and respect me was really difficult. I guess it is for everyone, but I found getting my co-worker's two-year-old to settle down when she started acting up a lot easier than getting a 13-year-old student to stop throwing stuff at me.

[Alachantal]

On 20/07/2017 at 6:29 PM, Slt said:

seriously. COL in different areas can be super drastically different as well. My husband and I bought our first home at 20, when he was still in college. It was 150k and the perfect house for us to eventually start a family in (and then we moved and the cheapest house we can buy ten years later is more than double- damn housing prices!)

That's insane... (In a good way!)

My husband and I bought our 2bdrm 2 bath condo for 210k when we were 20 & 21. I have my BA in history and was just finishing school at that time, but we're both actually truck drivers. We're 26 & 27 now and could sell for 300k or a little more. Your average 3bdrm 2.5 bath house is 800k+ in our area, and a townhouse in the complex beside ours is 500k+.... Although we both want to buy a house (and are saving for one), we don't want to buy in an area that's 1-2 hours from where we live now so the prospect is a little bit daunting to be honest. (Unless we move to a different province, then we could easily buy a house, and we're actually considering that too)

[calimojo]

I enjoy all stages.  I just love to hold and cuddle babies.  I love the 6-9 month old adorable age.  I enjoy the toddler stage, even though it is exhausting and I liked the school years, even though we spent a lot of time running hither and yon.  I really do enjoy the tween age.  They are such a hormonal mess at that age, that I find it fascinating.  It is also a vulnerable time and so I think  I like  to advocate for that age because to so many they really are unlikable.  I like the teen years too and now that my kids are adults, I am loving the transition from mom to mom/peer. 

But at the same time, I am not, in general and overly maternal personality.  I advocate for children and want them to be safe, loved, and provided with opportunities. And I worked in OB/L&D for years, and taught Childbirth Ed, and Newborn feeding classes, But, I am not someone who ever wanted a house full of kids.  And, when a co-worker brings in their grandkids for a visit, I enjoy it for about 2 minutes, and then I am ready to get back to my day.  I don't enjoy being in 'adult' settings, and having to contend with kids.  Like I would never take a Disney Cruise, because I wouldn't want that many kids around me all the time.  My nieces and nephews, my own kids of course, and the children of my friends, I love dearly, but I am not someone you would ever find volunteering to babysit a big bunch of kids, or work in a day care, or run the church nursery.  Nope,  not me.