Dillards 34: Finding Contentment

[FleeJanaFree]

That's the most I've ever liked Derrick, in his response. 

[MadeItOut]

2 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

From the above link

Interesting. Maybe Jill's problems are just because she is so Godly that Satan is targeting her.

Tell that to the midwife I accidentally knocked out in labour with eldest survivor.

[LovelyLuna]

I really hope that we are wrong and everything is OK. It just seams odd.  Maybe tonight we will see something?

[pook]

2 hours ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

Ah, but @pook, Bill Gothard has never shown any respect for science, causality, logic, or women. 

Got Hard (kills me always) can kiss my lily white ass!

 

[amers]

Just mentioned it on counting on. Video of Jessa, nothing of Jill other than that same photo where she looks like she's had a stroke. I find it concerning. They always show the family in the clip. 

[Iamtheway]

On 2017-07-16 at 3:21 PM, Jug Band Baby said:

Wow.  Meanwhile in America, we have no guaranteed paid leave from work, and a section of childfree people bitching about any potential assistance to women who've just given birth with the whine that if women can take off a few weeks after giving birth, they they should get to take off time when they want with pay too. 

But how do they think the country is going to survive without any new people added? Parents bringing new tax payers to the world should only be treated nicely.

I wish I could share my abundance of paid parental days with you all. (We seriously have so many paid days left that we don't think we'll be able to use them all before they expire when Miniway turns four.) Also my legal right to work part time, to not be fired when I'm sick and my right to four weeks paid vaccation in the summer time. And I wish I could shake every stupid Swedish person that doesn't understand how awesome we have it and is ruining it with their selfish me first attitude. Sadly there are way to many and my arms would get really, really tired.

I am sure I would be considered an evil heathen communist by a majority of Americans but I just really love paying heaps of tax and then get stuff like health care and education for free. 

[MadeItOut]

12 minutes ago, pook said:

Got Hard (kills me always) can kiss my lily white ass!

 

Except for the creep he is he'd likely enjoy it.

[HarryPotterFan]

11 minutes ago, amers said:

Just mentioned it on counting on. Video of Jessa, nothing of Jill other than that same photo where she looks like she's had a stroke. I find it concerning. They always show the family in the clip. 

It's weird that it's not the mother giving the baby update....

Im just remembering that I was chatting with my dental hygienist today, and I asked her if she had any summer vacation plans. She said no, because she was saving her vacation for when she has a baby in the fall. It's crap that she has to use vacation days as maternity leave. I can imagine a woman in that position having this conversation with coworkers/friends:

"What did you do for vacation? Anything exciting?"

"I relaxed on the beach and drank mojitos. What about you?"

"I pushed a bowling ball out of my vagina."

Which one of those sounds like the definition of vacation?

@Iamtheway Do you live in some sort of magical fairy tale wonderland?

[SilverBeach]

Compassion and concern for human beings, fundy or not, is good. Jill's shitty fundy life exemplifies all that is wrong with that belief system.

But at 26, does she not have any responsibility for her choices?

This is a recurrent argument here: at what age, if any, do adult fundies become accountable for their own hurtful and hateful actions, like voting for Trump? When they marry? Become a parent? Leave home? Hit 30? Never?

If they have a lifelong excuse, then we may as well stop discussing the damage done by fundamentalists, as it will continue unabated from generation to generation.

I don't share the fascination with babies, weddings, and hair. I haven't recovered from Trump's election, and knowing that these people gave him and still give him unquestioning support makes me sick and I just can't squee over them. 

I know I am in the minority here and my rant is over. Back to your regularly scheduled discussion.

 

[Iamtheway]

1 minute ago, HarryPotterFan said:

@Iamtheway Do you live in some sort of magical fairy tale wonderland?

After reading a couple of pages about the conditions for American mothers I am starting to think that I do. 

[merg429]

I can't seem to find the video of that Jessa posted on tlc.com. Was it just on the main page?

Thanks!

[cascarones]

Y'all,

I thought I wanted boring. My coworker and her big gulp accidentally drowned several of our phones, my ac is broken (in San Antonio) and somehow the host was more annoying than all of that combined.  

But I'm worried for Jill and hope she's recovering well!

[Carm_88]

1 hour ago, Berta McGee said:

Gotta admit, that's a good answer.

It will only be true though, if they stop right now. So I am going to assume that means that Derick and Jill are having no more children. Well, that's shocking. 

[singsingsing]

Okay. Even I will admit that this is getting weird, now. That's not to say that I think something horrible happened, but what's the deal? I'd actually give them major props if they said, "You know what, we've thought and prayed about it and we decided we wanted to take a month as a family to privately adjust to life with our newborn. We're doing well and will have an update and more pictures a month from now. Thank you all for your prayers." But they're not saying anything. Derick is active on social media, so he must know people are worried. I guess they just don't care, which is their prerogative...

10 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

It will only be true though, if they stop right now. So I am going to assume that means that Derick and Jill are having no more children. Well, that's shocking. 

I just took a look at what Derick's been 'liking' on Twitter lately, and I'd say it answers any questions we might have about whether they're planning to stop at two:

"Two is for quitters" - ugh, I don't know why, but that just makes my blood boil. Fuck off, lady.

[TuringMachine]

I can't find the video either

[imnewhere]

I went back on Jill's instagram and other than the 2 pictures of Israel the day he was born, she didn't post another picture for 2 weeks (other than to say congratulations on the courtship to Josiah and Marjorie...which is awkward now lol) so I guess we're still in that timeframe for Samuel. That being said, something feels weird about the radio silence this time around, not to mention Jessa doing the announcement video.

I feel bad for Jill if she has to stop at 2 while all her sisters/brothers keep going, especially considering she did everything "right" with her life, but on the other hand I hope she stops at 2 so as to not risk her life. Can't they adopt if they want more children?

[Imagine20]

18 hours ago, MadeItOut said:

How does that work then? - I'm just curious because it's so different to anything I know (all my employee work was in UK before I was self employed. I've only ever worked self employed/subcontracted here).

I'm guessing there's a lot of turnover in bottom-mid range jobs? ...but then, I never thought you guys had as strong a TU system as elsewhere, so how does a person get on in their career? - and how does high school careers advice work?

Sorry for all the questions. This stuff genuinely fascinates me.

I'm not sure what TU system means, sorry I can't speak to that. When I was in high school in the late 90's there was no formal career advice exactly the questionnaire we took our freshmen year, and it gave us a print out of careers we may be suited for. There are also guidance counselors that may help, but I personally don't know of many students who asked for that.

Career training mainly is technical school or college internships. Of course college costs an arm and a leg (for now in most places... there's a push for free higher education) and many of us are now saddled with loads of student loan debt to the point that things like home ownership is out of the question for many. Tech schools are less expensive, but many people still can't afford tuition without a loan. Some people will be making loan payments well into their 40s and 50s.

The US bills itself as the greatest place on Earth to live, but I don't think the world understands just how backwards we are when compared to other Western counties especially when it comes to employment rights and education (and with our current Secretary of Education, it might get even worse.)

Feel free to PM me with any questions. 

[Beermeet]

1 hour ago, amers said:

Just mentioned it on counting on. Video of Jessa, nothing of Jill other than that same photo where she looks like she's had a stroke. I find it concerning. They always show the family in the clip. 

Ok, seriously.  I didn't want to say anything but....I got a stroke or mini stroke vibe from that pic.  Please, I hope not.

[HarryPotterFan]

18 hours ago, MadeItOut said:

How does that work then? - I'm just curious because it's so different to anything I know (all my employee work was in UK before I was self employed. I've only ever worked self employed/subcontracted here).

I'm guessing there's a lot of turnover in bottom-mid range jobs? ...but then, I never thought you guys had as strong a TU system as elsewhere, so how does a person get on in their career? - and how does high school careers advice work?

Sorry for all the questions. This stuff genuinely fascinates me.

Like others have said, it doesn't. And what's a TU system?

How does a person get on in their career? With great difficulty. It took me ages to find my job. You basically see a job posting, apply, and hope you get selected for an interview out of potentially hundreds of candidates. Through some places might have picked who they want for a position, but the law says they have to post the job to allow others to apply. So you might waste your time applying for a job that's already been filled. It's basically a crapshoot. I feel like it's luck or networking.

Also I don't remember any career advice in high school. 

[NeverBeenKissed]

2 hours ago, Coy Koi said:

I'm living in the socialist hellhole that is Seattle (according to the host of a show on Fox Business the other day) so I probably just need like one hug. Spread the rest around to the residents of the utopian red states. I know, I know, you don't have to say it...I'm showing what a socialist monster Seattleite I am by not hogging all the hugs for myself.

Hop on the ferry and come over, I'll give you 2 hugs!  Hello from the West Sound. 

[Dandruff]

Quote

Christian women who are committed to Godly standards often have greater difficulties during pregnancy and childbirth than other women.

What are these standards?  Could they possibly involve:

- trusting the Lord instead of prenatal care,

- laboring for 40 hours, when your first birth was an emergency c-section following prolonged labor,

- praycationing in a Zika-infested country while pregnant,

- accepting the wise counsel of midwives who aren't, and/or

- becoming pregnant via the Lord's timing, regardless of any potential threats to mother and child?

[Coy Koi]

7 minutes ago, NeverBeenKissed said:

Hop on the ferry and come over, I'll give you 2 hugs!  Hello from the West Sound. 

Oh man, I have to take a ferry trip just to get two hugs? Thanks, Obama!

And more seriously, hello fellow Western Washingtonian! Sorry about the nearby socialist hellhole. Three hugs to you!

[karen77]

11 minutes ago, NeverBeenKissed said:

Hop on the ferry and come over, I'll give you 2 hugs!  Hello from the West Sound. 

I"m just a short drive up north!

[Coy Koi]

1 minute ago, karen77 said:

I"m just a short drive up north!

It's gonna be a regular hug-orgy up in this socialist hellhole!

[Escadora]

18 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

But at 26, does she not have any responsibility for her choices?

This is a recurrent argument here: at what age, if any, do adult fundies have to be accountable for their own hurtful and hateful actions, like voting for Trump? When they marry? Become a parent? Leave home? Hit 30? Never?

If they have a lifelong excuse, then we may as well stop discussing the damage done by fundamentalists, as it will continue unabated from generation to generation.

 

See, now, my personal thoughts on this is that people raised in this sort of environment should become accountable for their espousal of various doctrines and political agendas and, well, call a spade a spade, hatred they spread gradually. I don't think it's fair to say that as soon as a daughter is married off that she becomes instantly accountable and should be heavily scrutinised for each and every little thing they post (of course, I'm not saying that you've said that either), as they go from being treated as though they were children by their parents, who have an obvious and overbearing agenda, to being essentially under the rule of their new husband (I simply won't be convinced that Jinger would still wear pants if Jeremy wasn't both fine with and encouraging about it, for example). 

For me, personally, I think that once a person has had a chance to experience life outside of the upbringing they've had, then they should be held accountable for their opinions and the message they try to promote. And that would go for everyone, not just fundies. Internally held beliefs and opinions are rarely challenged when one lives within an echo chamber, after all, and for all the travelling that TLC had the Duggars do, and all the people they've met, the one lesbian aunt they have, Cousin Amy and her wild (kind of boring actually) life, I really don't think that there was ever one day of any of the children born to Jimbob and Michelle’s (and I mean children as in when they were literal children, and not as a collective grouping name for all of the offspring) lives that the fundie message and all the bigotry that comes with it wasn’t drilled into their heads relentlessly. 

For that reason, I'd grant Joy a heck of a lot more slack than I would her older, married sisters, as they've all had chances to experience life outside of the TTH for longer than she has. I don't doubt she still believes all the same things that they do, but she's not had as much of a chance to be exposed to other ways of thinking and living just yet. 

Of course, spreading their hatred and encouraging others to share the bigoted, awful views they have is always wrong, I'm not disputing that at all. Those hideous beliefs have had produced some awful consequences, though, as an English person, I don't claim to know all about the intricacies of American politics.  Trump is an utter idiot, Pence has evil eyes, and they never should have been given the power they now have.  I'm not educated enough in that field to have much more of a public opinion than that (of course, I have my private opinion, and that's that they're both utter tossers who need to be removed from their positions of power and sent to a tiny island along with the rest of their ilk where they can build all of the walls they want to and never have to be heard from again). 

@SilverBeach I'm just curious, as I've seen you bring up the subject a few times, where do you personally draw the line in terms of accountability with the Duggar offspring? Is it by age or marital status, life experience or children? Another set of criteria entirely maybe?

I apologise, I know it's a sore subject, and obviously don't feel the need to answer the question if you don't want to.  Also, please don't think this was a giant rant at you, for the most part I was merely thinking aloud and trying to word it all in a way that doesn't make me look like a complete arse. 

It's, uh, actually almost half past four in the morning now. So I'm going to leave this like it is and post it, even though I'm not satisfied with how I've explained things. (also apologies if spelling and grammar and other things like that fell apart through this, again, half past four in the morning. I am an adult who makes excellent decisions)