John Shrader Part 12: Empty Baptismal, Empty Brains

[ILoveJellybeans]

That poem was just so bad and so cheesy that I thought it was a parody, not something John actually wrote.

A note written in blood threatening their lives? What the fuck did Rick do, piss off the Mafia or something?

John seems to have suddenly started making a few posts about his family. His love for Esther because its their anniversary soon, Esther got to actually use their shared account and talk about how she now needs glasses, that one of his kids had a birthday. Bet its back to me, me, me soon though.

I wonder what they are going to name their baby? I like John's daughter's names (not sure what theyre having?)

[slickcat79]

He writes a paragraph about his wife for their anniversary, and about 8 lines for his daughter on her birthday.

He writes a 100-line poem about...himself.

John Shrader in a nutshell.

[Lurky]

Each time John attempts a pome, his SOTDRT shows.   He seems to think that the rhyme is the most important thing, and has clearly never heard of scansion at all.  Who cares how many syllables each line has?  It finishes with something that vaguely rhymes, so it MUST be poetry!

Clearly his *OVER 6000!!* books don't include any on writing skills.  Mind you, I laughed out loud at John Shrader, king of the grifters, trying to claim he doesn't want cash!  Of course, no "and if you do have money to spare you're moved to donate, please do consider supporting this homeless charity/hospital/education programme" etc etc etc.....

Where does writing terrible pomes come on the Cycle of John?  I'm wondering what's next on his wheel of crazy.

[CTRLZero]

6 hours ago, BlessingsVonFundiePants said:

As a boy I had such energy, one to my parents dourly said,
"That boy'll end your ministry," but God put me into the ministry instead! 

There's still time to fulfill this prophecy, John.  Happy 40th! 

 

[Granwych]

On 6/24/2017 at 6:36 AM, bertnee said:

It can't be that old John boy is prone to exaggeration! Maybe he measures his books in cubits or handbreadths or some other biblical measurement.

He's counting words, most likely.  That is, if he can count that high---

[Gobsmacked]

Thanks Formergothardite. Esther looks like Anna in the photo. Her hair suits her better also. I can understand why she scrapes it back normally. Hot weather, dust and 10 kids to look after, doesn't give her much choice/chance to look after herself.

Her glasses suit her. As a very reluctant glasses wearer I know how difficult choosing can be. 

Best wishes for the birth of the baby Esther.

[Sobeknofret]

6 hours ago, ILoveJellybeans said:

A note written in blood threatening their lives? What the fuck did Rick do, piss off the Mafia or something?

Ha! My first thought when I read that was "I thought all the mobsters were at least lipservice Catholics...?"

[apandaaries]

Some stats from John's beautiful, rhyme-filled pome:  

Mention of "mother" or "mom": 1

Mention of "father" or "dad": 5

Mention of "parents": 3

Mention of "wife": 2

Mention of his own "11 children": 1

Mention of "God," "Lord," "Christ," "Savior," "He," or "Him": 28

Mention of "I" (does not include "me," "my,"  or "mine"): 37

Always interesting to see what is revealed with people's writing.  

 

[Bethella]

23 hours ago, Curious said:

 She's about the same age as Zsu isn't she?   Zsu definitely is aging faster.

As @anjulibai mentioned Esther turned 36 on May 9. Zsu is two years older and turned 38 on March 25.

[clearingthingsup]

1 hour ago, amandaaries said:

Some stats from John's beautiful, rhyme-filled pome:  

Mention of "I" (does not include "me," "my,"  or "mine"): 37

Always interesting to see what is revealed with people's writing.  

 

If you add in the me's, my's and mine's it adds up to 76. 

And John has the audacity to say he's trying not to be prideful lol.

[anjulibai]

9 hours ago, ILoveJellybeans said:

I wonder what they are going to name their baby? I like John's daughter's names (not sure what theyre having?)

As far as fundie themes go, the Schrader girls' names are one of the better, Greek words for Christian concepts. Irene means "peace" in Greek, and would go with the theme. Phoebe or Chloe might fit, too, though personally I think Irene fits better. He might even go with the original, Eirene, for the added pretentious factor. 

Though, I kind of hope it's not a girl. If a kid is going to be born into fundiedom, I'd prefer a boy. The Shrader boy names don't seem to have a particular name other than Biblical.

[Cartmann99]

12 hours ago, anjulibai said:

It seems like she spent a little time on her appearance for this outing to get her glasses. I think she might be wearing make-up

I think she's wearing a sheer lipstick or maybe a tinted lip balm. Whatever it is, I think it looks very nice on her.  

[Marshmallow World]

8 hours ago, Granwych said:

He's counting words, most likely.  That is, if he can count that high---

As my grandmother would say, he can count to 20, but he has to take off his shoes first. 

[Naga Viper]

Ugh. I can never make it more than a dozen lines into any of John's sagas because they're more cringeworthy than anything I wrote during my "sensitive poet" phase. In sixth grade.

I also had the sense to trash that shit by eighth grade, so Naga Viper: 2; John, 0.

[Aine]

1 hour ago, anjulibai said:

As far as fundie themes go, the Schrader girls' names are one of the better, Greek words for Christian concepts. Irene means "peace" in Greek, and would go with the theme. Phoebe or Chloe might fit, too, though personally I think Irene fits better. He might even go with the original, Eirene, for the added pretentious factor. 

Though, I kind of hope it's not a girl. If a kid is going to be born into fundiedom, I'd prefer a boy. The Shrader boy names don't seem to have a particular name other than Biblical.

I still think Elpida or Elpis, meaning "hope" for the next daughter...

Irene would be better though!

[anjulibai]

2 minutes ago, Aine said:

I still think Elpida or Elpis, meaning "hope" for the next daughter...

Irene would be better though!

Oh man, that really could be on the list, but I hope not. 

Aletheia is truth, Agape is God's love, Charis is grace, and Sophia is wisdom - I feel like those are less virtue names (like hope) than they are philosophical ideas. John seems to go for the philosophical ideas for first names and virtues for middle - Alatheia and Sophia both share Joy as a middle name and Agape has Faith as a middle name (not sure was Charis has Elizabeth, though). 

Totally overanalyzing this, though. 

[Grimalkin]

15 hours ago, formergothardite said:

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 I have a really, really hard time believing that someone write a note in blood threatening to kill two year old John. 

     Maybe his parents forgot to invite the evil fairy to his royal christening.

[Aine]

To add, besides Elpida, I think these could be a possibility for a girl:

Zoe ("life" in Greek)

Kyriake ("of the Lord")

Phoibe (they need the Greek version of Phoebe  )

Aikareine ("pure"...Ancient Greek version of Katherine)

Theodora ("God's gift"...not a virtue like the others but close enough) or Theodosia or Theokleia

Chloe ("green shoot"...also mentioned by Paul in the Bible)

Sotiria ("salvation")

And maybeeeee Eleftheria (meaning "free"), which is actually one of my favorite Greek names

 

 

 

2 minutes ago, anjulibai said:

Oh man, that really could be on the list, but I hope not. 

Aletheia is truth, Agape is God's love, Charis is grace, and Sophia is wisdom - I feel like those are less virtue names (like hope) than they are philosophical ideas. John seems to go for the philosophical ideas for first names and virtues for middle - Alatheia and Sophia both share Joy as a middle name and Agape has Faith as a middle name (not sure was Charis has Elizabeth, though). 

Totally overanalyzing this, though. 

Charis is Charis Elisabeth

[bertnee]

Oof that poem. I couldn't make it past the baby stage. No rhythm at all. I assumed the "letter written in blood" was some reference to Jesus/original sin/salvation and not literal but like I said, I gave up early in the "poem."

 

 

 

 

 

[SuchABlessing]

Dear lord, John, I also was born two months premature but that was over 30 years ago and I don't usually start every poem I write about myself with it....

then again, I don't write poems about myself either, so...

[infooverload]

So the whole threat to young John's life, leads to many questions. The first I mentioned earlier of was the threat of violence spawned by an angry parishioner who had been financially wronged? What part of the state's were they in at the time? We're the threats ever reported to proper authorities? Does this story fall into a hyperbolic tale of Christian persecution in order to enhance the "family testimony" ? I would be curious if this incident is a well known story within Daddy Shader's church? Actually I would be curious to hear John's siblings take on the incident, since isn't John the youngest. This has been mentioned a few times, but it seems such a weird thing to repeat with no real details. Also why tell a child about their life being threatened, when said child was not young enough to remember or be aware of the incident.

 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

2 hours ago, Grimalkin said:

 Maybe his parents forgot to invite the evil fairy to his royal christening.

That's my favorite theory.

[Carol]

19 hours ago, formergothardite said:

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 I have a really, really hard time believing that someone write a note in blood threatening to kill two year old John. 

My money's on John's mom.

[16strong]

I would like to take this time to fix a couple of lines in John's poem, although really, the whole thing needs editing.

Quote

God's Calling to Africa was such a thrill shill,
A long held passion wallet He did fulfill

 

[formergothardite]

I feel like he keeps adding details to his life being threatened story. I don't remember it being a note written in blood before. He was supposedly in the town that his dad's church is in now. If this really happened, wouldn't there be a news story about a local pastor having the life of his son threatened? 

ETA: Can anyone find the poem he wrote for himself last year? I can't find it and it would be interesting to compare.