John Shrader Part 12: Empty Baptismal, Empty Brains

[clearingthingsup]

9 hours ago, Carol said:

My money's on John's mom.

I laughed out loud haha XD

[FeministShrew]

Another premie here. No one ever called me a miracle baby or told me my life was spared because I was God's super special gift to mankind, though.

Maybe I should try to write an epic poem about my life...it would be more interesting than John's because I have actually been through real hardships and dangerous life situations, unlike John's imaginary ones.

 Hell, my cats could write a more interesting life story than John.

[Granwych]

15 hours ago, SuchABlessing said:

Dear lord, John, I also was born two months premature but that was over 30 years ago and I don't usually start every poem I write about myself with it....

then again, I don't write poems about myself either, so...

And I'll reckon that you don't also have 29 children and 35,569 books either.  Thank the FSM!!

[Cartmann99]

6 hours ago, FeministShrew said:

Hell, my cats could write a more interesting life story than John.

I would rather read the life stories of your cats, than be tortured by John's "poetry". 

[marmalade]

6 hours ago, Cartmann99 said:

I would rather read the life stories of your cats, than be tortured by John's "poetry". 

 

Vogon poetry >>>>>>>>>>>>> x a gillion Shrader "poetry." 

[subsaharanafrica]

While I wouldn't be surprised if his dad did attract the kind of crazy that writes death threats in blood, I'm going to need to see the receipts. 

[subsaharanafrica]

So...I'm at the airport waiting to pick up a friend. There is a large group Americans here. The women are all wearing long skirts and most of them are all wearing the same shirt. I went to the website listed on the back of their shirts and yep, they're fundamentalists here to share the gospel with unreached populations all in the span of 11 days. 

*If* there are unreached populations here, and that is a big if, they're not going to speak English. 

[gustava]

5 minutes ago, subsaharanafrica said:

they're fundamentalists here to share the gospel with unreached populations all in the span of 11 days

11 days!?!?!?  What's taking them so long???

[SPHASH]

7 minutes ago, subsaharanafrica said:

So...I'm at the airport waiting to pick up a friend. There is a large group Americans here. The women are all wearing long skirts and most of them are all wearing the same shirt. I went to the website listed on the back of their shirts and yep, they're fundamentalists here to share the gospel with unreached populations all in the span of 11 days. 

*If* there are unreached populations here, and that is a big if, they're not going to speak English. 

I wonder if two of them are Anna and Mary Maxwell.  They are allegedly on a mission trip.

[Gobsmacked]

Would the Maxwell girls be allowed to travel as far as Africa?

[subsaharanafrica]

5 minutes ago, SPHASH said:

I wonder if two of them are Anna and Mary Maxwell.  They are allegedly on a mission trip.

Where do they live? These people are from a church in Austin. 

[SPHASH]

5 minutes ago, subsaharanafrica said:

Where do they live? These people are from a church in Austin. 

Kansas so I guess that rules them out.

12 minutes ago, Gobsmacked said:

Would the Maxwell girls be allowed to travel as far as Africa?

Only if they had a male chaperone, John was going with them.

[SPHASH]

On 6/29/2017 at 8:21 PM, Marshmallow World said:

As my grandmother would say, he can count to 20, but he has to take off his shoes first. 

And to count to 21 he has to take his drawers off.

[Granwych]

38 minutes ago, SPHASH said:

And to count to 21 he has to take his drawers off.

And put his glasses on for sure.

[Marshmallow World]

39 minutes ago, SPHASH said:

And to count to 21 he has to take his drawers off.

Actual footage of me when faced with the thought of John removing articles of clothing:

Spoiler

 

[Howl]

On 6/29/2017 at 3:36 AM, BlessingsVonFundiePants said:

5 years pastoring under my father back at my home church, 
I learned so much, but some I failed, some I hurt
Truth minus grace can sure be quite harsh, 
When I was like that, my love sure seemed sparse

But God wasn't finished molding my heart, 
He took us to the North West, to take me apart
Far from our families, isolated and alone,
I took my eyes off of Christ and dropped like a stone

I suffered depression (without Christ it's hard),
I so greatly struggled and the way seemed barred

Wow, this is all quite telling.  

 

9 hours ago, subsaharanafrica said:

Where do they live? These people are from a church in Austin. 

Do you have a link to their Web site?  They're from my city.

[subsaharanafrica]

@Howl I'm sending it through private message. 

[Grimalkin]

     Thanks for the laughs ladies! Funniest thing I read/saw/heard all day.

[slickcat79]

On 6/30/2017 at 7:31 AM, formergothardite said:

I feel like he keeps adding details to his life being threatened story. I don't remember it being a note written in blood before. He was supposedly in the town that his dad's church is in now. If this really happened, wouldn't there be a news story about a local pastor having the life of his son threatened? 

ETA: Can anyone find the poem he wrote for himself last year? I can't find it and it would be interesting to compare. 

https://www.facebook.com/john.shrader.125/posts/10206585769873171

Quote

 

A poem I wrote three years ago on my birthday, edited a bit for relevancy.

Thirty-nine years ago a preemie cried,
born two months early he almost died
Where he was born he could not survive, so in an ambulance they away did drive!
There was a rough start but soon was found, that within this little guy much energy did abound!
His parents were told by a faithless friend, "This busy boy your ministry will end!"
When starting the church a threat written in blood was found, "Quit and leave or we'll put your first-born in the ground!" (That was me!)
But God protected and no harm befell, whatever might have happened only God can tell!
Then one day Holy Spirit conviction upon that boy's heart did fall, in his young heart repented and on Jesus as Lord for salvation did call!
That year marked many a change, not just salvation but piano and accordian he began to play.
He loved working with wood, had a lawn business too, he even began buying his own clothes and shoes.
He learned the value of hard work and cash...one can do quite a lot with what others put in the trash! With his father he helped build the church and their home, and in the fields of Katy with his dog did roam
Then surrendered to preach at the age of ten, when the preacher sounded the call that God wants yielded men.
And God directed his steps though at times he failed, God never stopped loving this soul redeemed from hell
Through private boot camp he went (only half graduated!) Mission trips to Mexico and Russia his soul greatly elated!
Then Bible College and Seminary, times of preparing
There were tests not on paper that at his soul were tearing
But the Bible had answers for all the divisions, just believe what It says, and it will answer all questions!
God's Word was preserved by God Himself, not by Catholic monks who sequestered it mutilated on a shelf (Psalm 12:6,7)
And the church is NOT Universal as the Catholic Augustine taught
Why he got that from Plato, with doctrinal error was fraught
Just read Revelation and you will see, Christ mentioned individual churches... not One "Catholic" (which means "Universal") mystical Body!
And the history of Baptists is precious indeed, from the very first century they for Truth did bleed!
Now this young man was praying for God's Will for a wife, for he knew this was a vitally important part of life!
God wonderfully directed through two years of praying,
Then brought together two families, it was simply amazing! The courtship was short after so much interceeding, and the union was blessed by God's Gracious Leading!
Five years as Associate beside his dad, there was times of pain as people left, but in salvation of souls his heart was made glad!
One even discipled and still to this day, has a heart to disciple others and in the path of God's Truth stay!
Then after four children God began to move,
Took him out of his comfort zone, away from his "groove."
They journeyed to the Northwest, a mission field of its own, time simply does not permit how through that God has grown
Suffice it to say he was privileged to pastor and lead, to fully bear the burdens and for people his heart did bleed
God took him through breaking and trials untold, the final fiery one was designed to bring forth as gold
For God asked him to yield his deeply held desire, to train national pastors on the mission field, wanting to disciple was his inner fire
But he yielded all to the testing call, and put away his dream of missions - he thought - for once and for all!
But was not the end, but only a test! When he surrendered to God then God blessed with His best!
Now more than ever imagined it's all coming true, this is WAY BETTER than a fairy tale princess and her shoe!
A High-speed printer and Troop Carrier, and men to disciple galore, why the opportunities in Africa just leave him floored!
Now Thirty-nine years may not be much to some, but boy, let me tell you there's been much in this run
I don't know what's ahead for my children and wife, but their all fully with me as we fulfill God's call upon our lives
A honeymoon romance and ten precious kids, a mom and dad who blessed me with a goodly heritage,
A Lord to guide and protect and lead, no matter what happens our souls He'll keep!
YES I've been blessed more than words can say, but I just had to try at the end of this special day!

 

 

[Granwych]

42 minutes ago, slickcat79 said:

YES I've been blessed more than words can say, but I just had to try at the end of this special day!

That man never seems to run out of words, for sure.  Too bad.

[marmalade]

You know, John, there is such a thing as self-plagiarism. 

[Naga Viper]

There's also such a thing as too many exclamation points.

 

[clearingthingsup]

6 hours ago, slickcat79 said:

https://www.facebook.com/john.shrader.125/posts/10206585769873171

 

Me-thinks John reads here seeing as he just so happened to repost the aforementioned poem when it was recently mentioned in this thread? He has to. It's too coincidental. 

[Snarf Snarfblort]

John's pome is giving me actual palpitations. I can't read it all the way through. It's making me want to rock back and forth.

Who writes an epic poem for themselves on their birthday and posts it on FB??? You can't just swap words around willy-nilly to get the rhyming word on the end!! Does he really think 'shield' rhymes with 'prevailed'?? Or that 'plant' rhymes with 'sent'?

I thought it might be fun to dip my toe back in the Shrader crazy, but I think it's a bit too strong for me to take...

[SoGladIWasCofE]

I subjected my boyfriend to a reading of that poem last night. The screaming was hilarious.

It's a really odd mix of oddly archaic word choices and modern colloquialisms for the purpose of rhymes. Which is jarring as fuck. Especially when it doesn't actually rhyme.