Joy and Austin: Engaged!

[SassyPants]

10 hours ago, Coconut Flan said:

There is the link to the video on FB page. 

The Vuolos?
How personal

[Pasta]

I wonder if Jeremy realizes how stupid the videos are so that's why the impersonal signature?

[Incognito22]

14 hours ago, luxfilia said:

Ooops, thanks to the moderator who corrected my gif not being behind a spoiler. I suck at forumish stuff. :'(
 

Also, they were explaining how a couple grows closer to each other as they grow closer to God, in a triangular relationship. :/

Ok I'm not great at math but if you have a triangle and you bring both bottom points closer to the top one would the other two have to be further away to keep it a triangle?  I'm so confused at that analogy.  Like I said not good at math so don't judge if I sound like a sodrt grad

[Casserole]

17 hours ago, season of life said:

I would never want any boyfriend of mine to ask for my parents' blessing or permission because they have such outdated views on what a relationship should be.

I agree I absolutely do not agree with the tradition. No one owns me; I am not being given away... except I think it would break my dad's heart. Not in a patriarch-needing-to-give-me-away way, but in a always-pictured-myself-walking-my-daughter-down-the-aisle way.

 

200 reasons why I want to elope abroad as a joint wedding honeymoon, but destroying patriarchy traditions is one of those reasons. 

[Fundie Bunny]

7 hours ago, Fundie Bunny said:

Do they even know a shit about trigonometry?  If the couple gets closere  the side will become smaller, and the other two sides smaller. And i freaking looooooove that gif

Oh fuck. Longer. The other two sides will become longer. 

[Coconut Flan]

Here's how it works.  God is at the top of a triangle.  The two bottom points/corners are the couple.  As the couple gets closer to the top God, they get closer together since the triangle is getting smaller.  The base moves up. 

[melon]

How old is the next Caldwell girl?

 

Doesn't Anna's sister,Esther have 10 kids?And she's 35?

[SassyPants]

21 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

Here's how it works.  God is at the top of a triangle.  The two bottom points/corners are the couple.  As the couple gets closer to the top God, they get closer together since the triangle is getting smaller.  The base moves up. 

Wouldn't that form a straight line?

We all know that no one is on the same line as God.

[nst]

the message is from the people who just got married so we know the sisters who are married. 

It makes sense in their world 

in our world - it doesn't because we are individuals 

[Coconut Flan]

21 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Wouldn't that form a straight line?

No.  I wish I could draw a picture.    Try picturing a triangle with a point at the top and the bottom line moving up closer to but never reaching the top point. 

[MargaretElliott]

I think there's a difference between asking for the father's permission and asking the parent's blessing. I fully expect my potential future husband to ask for my parent's (both of them, not just dad) for their blessing. Asking for their blessing is more of a, "Hey, you've raised this child all your life, I love her, I want to spend the rest of my life with her, and I hope to be a part of your lives too, is that cool?" gesture, as opposed to asking dad's permission, which reeks of the patriarchy. Which is what the Duggars love, obviously.

I think the point of the triangle metaphor is that the closer you get to God, the closer you get to each other. Because the points of the triangle are closer up the farther up you go. Still, that gif is ridiculous, and I kind of love it. 

[CreationMuseumCurator]

[Pasta]

Since they believe that men can hear gods will and that wives are beneath the husbands, wouldn't it be closer to this? 

 

 

[HermioneSparrow]

1 hour ago, Casserole said:

I agree I absolutely do not agree with the tradition. No one owns me; I am not being given away... except I think it would break my dad's heart. Not in a patriarch-needing-to-give-me-away way, but in a always-pictured-myself-walking-my-daughter-down-the-aisle way.

 

200 reasons why I want to elope abroad as a joint wedding honeymoon, but destroying patriarchy traditions is one of those reasons. 

Absolutely agree with everything except that my Dad doesn't give a sh*t about giving me away or even me getting married (sometimes we get along and he still says marriage is the worst and I shouldn't do it at all). Good for me though, after I left my home and was finally free I ran away from tradition, if I ever get married I'll elope and that's it.

It's amazing how much I treasure my freedom to the point that I'm afraid of commitment in a relationship, it would be interesting to know if that usually happens when people break from patriarchal conservative households. It sure happened to me.

[Phoenix]

On 3/3/2017 at 6:53 PM, HarleyQuinn said:

Guys where are all the youtube congratulations? How will I know they're happy for "y'all" without them?!

I wonder if maybe the Duggar collective isn't all that happy about Austin? Impossible to tell with all the old platitudes being recycled each and every courtship, engagement and marriage. I do remember early on in Anna and Josh's marriage observing the Duggar girls were rather hostile to Anna. I didn't understand it then but since we now know a lot more about Josh and how he was allowed to treat his sisters it makes more sense. The older Duggar girls (other than Jill) seem to have warmed up to Anna since the Josh scandals.  

What struck me as off-kilter was the TLC update on Joy and Austin's courtship prior to the engagement. Austin talked about how Joy's behavior and demeanor was right at all times. It made her sound like the Gothard version of eye-candy. Yes Joy is beautiful but how about valuing her personality, curiosity, observations, quips or tomboy tendencies... I don't know anything about her that is individual or genuine?!

Joy looked less than happy when one of her brothers sat between her and Austin heading up to the Forsyth camp. Didn't look thrilled to be handing out water either. Looked somewhat more engaged holding a fence post for Austin. The entire episode she alternated between looking annoyed and reasonably happy. Too many moments when it seemed to me someone had just told her to smile damn it! 

Flipping between Jinger's honeymoon and Joy's courtship seemed like an inadvertent reminder that Jinger may have a more open and somewhat less sheltered life with Jeremy in Texas than Joy will in Arkansas with Austin at Fort Rock Family Camp. 

With the focus now being on Joy and her march to marriage I can't help but think of a 19KAC talking head a few years back when she asked the camera "What do you do if the guy is a dud?" I sincerely hope Austin isn't a dud for Joy but so far she seemed to be more relaxed and natural around Ben when he was courting Jessa than she has on camera with Austin. Granted we have seen very little of Austin let alone of Austin and Joy together on camera. Probably too soon to tell but it makes me nervous how she seems to be playing a role even more than Jessa and Ben came across as woodenly reading their lines. At least Jill and Jinger seemed genuinely thrilled with their guys during their respective courtships and weddings. 

Hoping for the best possible outcome for Joy, but color me skeptical. 

 

[Incognito22]

1 hour ago, Fundie Bunny said:

Oh fuck. Longer. The other two sides will become longer. 

That's what I thought.  If you just shrink the triangle then the distances remain the same relative to each other. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

19 minutes ago, Pasta said:

Since they believe that men can hear gods will and that wives are beneath the husbands, wouldn't it be closer to this? 

 

 

I'm sure it is more like this, but I'm not sure where God or the triangle come into this but I really sucked at math. 

[ScorpiousMalfoy]

4 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I'm sure it is more like this, but I'm not sure where God or the triangle come into this but I really sucked at math. 

I like the way you think. 

[front hugs > duggs]

5 minutes ago, Phoenix said:

I wonder if maybe the Duggar collective isn't all that happy about Austin? Impossible to tell with all the old platitudes being recycled each and every courtship, engagement and marriage. I do remember early on in Anna and Josh's marriage observing the Duggar girls were rather hostile to Anna. I didn't understand it then but since we now know a lot more about Josh and how he was allowed to treat his sisters it makes more sense. The older Duggar girls (other than Jill) seem to have warmed up to Anna since the Josh scandals.

I actually was wondering the same thing. I believe it was Ben/Jessa's message was "We can't wait for the wedding!". I kind of thought that was an odd thing to say, especially in their circles where they always emphasize it's about the marriage, not the wedding. Normally it's at least like "we can't wait to see what God has in store for you" or "how God brings you together", but just can't wait for the wedding. It threw me off guard...

[Eatingintheprayercloset]

Jesus Christ, that triangle just gave me a flashback to the time period where my family went to church. It wasn't voluntary but we had to go for a 6 month period.During this time, my sister and I were teenagers and had to go to the youth group. Well, one day this lady came for a "sex ed" seminar.....yeah that's what they really called it. All she did was say sex before marriage is not just "good", but healthy. Then, she brought out blocked and put the triangle in the middle of the blocks and said "this is the foundation a couple will have if they have sex before marriage" and obviously it couldn't stand because there was a fucking triangle in the middle. The last thing she did was show us the triangle diagram and said this is the marriage everyone should strive for and any intercourse before marriage will make this impossible. I had a hunch she gave her husband something more than a sidehug or a kiss because she mentioned how she and her husband were alone in his dorm and went farther than they should have--"NEVER BE ALONE WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND" legitmate quote her jezebel mouth. 

 

 

 

 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

20 minutes ago, Phoenix said:

With the focus now being on Joy and her march to marriage I can't help but think of a 19KAC talking head a few years back when she asked the camera "What do you do if the guy is a dud?" I sincerely hope Austin isn't a dud for Joy but so far she seemed to be more relaxed and natural around Ben when he was courting Jessa than she has on camera with Austin. Granted we have seen very little of Austin let alone of Austin and Joy together on camera. Probably too soon to tell but it makes me nervous how she seems to be playing a role even more than Jessa and Ben came across as woodenly reading their lines. At least Jill and Jinger seemed genuinely thrilled with their guys during their respective courtships and weddings. 

Hoping for the best possible outcome for Joy, but color me skeptical. 

 

She LIKES Austin, she only likes Ben, she's 19 young, don't you remember how you were around guy friends vs your guy?

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

3 minutes ago, ScorpiousMalfoy said:

I like the way you think. 

A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste. 

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, CreationMuseumCurator said:

In my mind, closer to God would be a straight line-Husband and wife on either side of God- With God being the most central part to BOTH husband and wife.

Not saying, I agree with the ^, but using fundy logic....

41 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I'm sure it is more like this, but I'm not sure where God or the triangle come into this but I really sucked at math. 

Can we make this photo a post count or title?

It's just damn perfect and sums up the Duggars to a T.

[RabbitKM]

On 3/8/2017 at 9:14 AM, front hugs > duggs said:

Of course, Mr. Front Hugs and I did most of the ring shopping together, and my dad was more upset that I didn't tell him about that. What was I supposed to say though? Hey Dad- At some point I'm going to get proposed to in the next year. Go me! 

Just curious, how did going ring shopping together work? Did you both go and pick out what you liked, and he bought it later and kept it a secret? Or did you know he had it? Where you still "surprised'? 

Sorry for the questions, don't feel pressured to answer, I am just curious  

[VelociRapture]

6 minutes ago, RabbitKM said:

Just curious, how did going ring shopping together work? Did you both go and pick out what you liked, and he bought it later and kept it a secret? Or did you know he had it? Where you still "surprised'? 

Sorry for the questions, don't feel pressured to answer, I am just curious  

I can't answer for @front hugs > duggs - But husband and I shopped together too. We looked at rings we both liked and got my finger sized. He went back later and ordered the ring he thought we both liked best (he picked right. Lol!)

Worked for us because husband was super worried about buying a ring because it's a ton of money and I don't really enjoy big surprises.