Counting On Season Three

[Lovebug]

I'm just now watching the dress episode and I'm confused.

Can someone please explain to me why on earth it was necessary for Ben and Derick to go with the girls to another state to essentially "babysit" their own children?  Wouldn't ice cream be cheaper in Arkansas, or is that just crazy talk?  Does Virginia have some magical ice cream flavor that I need to be aware of?

ETA - I see it as "caring for" your own children, not babysitting.  I seem to recall the Duggar men referring to caring for their children as "babysitting" so I'm referring to their words!

[albanuadh_1]

I agree - there is no reason for Derick and Ben to be there; no reason for Jill, Jessa, Jana, or Joy to be there. In a normal family, D & B , at least, would be working!

[ActualReality]

13 hours ago, TakingBibleClasses said:

Catching up on "Counting On."

I'm not sure why, but I get so freaking annoyed whenever one of the Duggars/Duggar-adjacents uses the word "desire" instead of "want." ("I really desire the dress to have long sleeves.") Is it their way of making every one of their personal preferences seem earnest and/or holy?

Ugh, so annoying. It's like when people use "utilize" instead of "use" to sound smart.

I mentioned this as well in another thread.  There is something about the words "desire" and "purpose" that have meaning for them that escapes me.

[JesSky03]

53 minutes ago, ActualReality said:

I mentioned this as well in another thread.  There is something about the words "desire" and "purpose" that have meaning for them that escapes me.

To me using those terms sound more passive and like their decisions are out of their control. Jinger desires long sleeves but if she doesn't get them then she just has to be content with whatever she is given. 

[Denim Jumper]

1 hour ago, Lovebug said:

I'm just now watching the dress episode and I'm confused.

Can someone please explain to me why on earth it was necessary for Ben and Derick to go with the girls to another state to essentially "babysit" their own children?  Wouldn't ice cream be cheaper in Arkansas, or is that just crazy talk?  Does Virginia have some magical ice cream flavor that I need to be aware of?

ETA - I see it as "caring for" your own children, not babysitting.  I seem to recall the Duggar men referring to caring for their children as "babysitting" so I'm referring to their words!

Maybe Jill and Jessa were still nursing? 

[karen77]

13 minutes ago, Denim Jumper said:

Maybe Jill and Jessa were still nursing? 

Possibly,

 

But man, story line missed there, had they not gone, TLC could have zoned in on the dad's staying home by themselves with the kids and what entailed there! I'm sure there could have been some more comedy to liven things up....

[ActualReality]

47 minutes ago, JesSky03 said:

To me using those terms sound more passive and like their decisions are out of their control. Jinger desires long sleeves but if she doesn't get them then she just has to be content with whatever she is given. 

Hmmm.  Interesting.  Can you explain the light airy voices that a lot of the women seem to have.  Both Michelle and Anna definitely have it.  Jill has it but Jessa doesn't.  The wedding dress lady was also all breathy and desiring purpose and all that jazz.

Maybe it's a show of submission.  To me is seems like a show of anaphylaxis.

[TakingBibleClasses]

Just now, ActualReality said:

Hmmm.  Interesting.  Can you explain the light airy voices that a lot of the women seem to have.  Both Michelle and Anna definitely have it.  Jill has it but Jessa doesn't.  The wedding dress lady was also all breathy and desiring purpose and all that jazz.

Maybe it's a show of submission.  To me is seems like a show of anaphylaxis.

I don't know; to me, it seems like "purpose" and "desire" are stronger than "want." Like, both Jinger and Jeremy use these terms to talk about getting married (something like, "We're purposing to remain pure"; "We desire to have a wedding that honors God"; can't remember the specifics). They seem intended to infuse ordinary conversation with extra significance and righteousness.

Maybe "purpose" and "desire" supposed to demonstrate submissiveness to God, but I don't think they're a sign of female submission to men. There are plenty of those in the Duggar world, but I don't think this is one of them.

[Gillyweed]

2 hours ago, Lovebug said:

I'm just now watching the dress episode and I'm confused.

Can someone please explain to me why on earth it was necessary for Ben and Derick to go with the girls to another state to essentially "babysit" their own children?  Wouldn't ice cream be cheaper in Arkansas, or is that just crazy talk?  Does Virginia have some magical ice cream flavor that I need to be aware of?

ETA - I see it as "caring for" your own children, not babysitting.  I seem to recall the Duggar men referring to caring for their children as "babysitting" so I'm referring to their words!

In regards to "babysitting"-- if one of the girls ended up dying, would their husband take care of the kids, or would the move in with the Duggars and just "babysit" from time to time?

[Exposedknees]

13 minutes ago, Gillyweed said:

Can someone please explain to me why on earth it was necessary for Ben and Derick to go with the girls to another state to essentially "babysit" their own children? 

FREE TRIP!!!! Honestly I'd want to leave JimBoob and Tontitown, Arkansas too. 

[front hugs > duggs]

1 hour ago, JesSky03 said:

To me using those terms sound more passive and like their decisions are out of their control. Jinger desires long sleeves but if she doesn't get them then she just has to be content with whatever she is given. 

I still think "want" would work. After all, you can't always get what you want.

But I suppose the Stones logic would go above their heads.

[JesSky03]

I guess to me 'want' feels like a more direct statement. That could be influenced by my introvert personality. I don't often say what I want- it feels so forward and demanding. 

[Carm_88]

4 minutes ago, JesSky03 said:

I guess to me 'want' feels like a more direct statement. That could be influenced by my introvert personality. I don't often say what I want- it feels so forward and demanding. 

Mmm want is hard for me too. I usually say "I would like..." or "It would be nice..." It works just as well! They should try it! 

[backyard sylph]

37 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

Mmm want is hard for me too. I usually say "I would like..." or "It would be nice..." It works just as well! They should try it! 

The French do this well with all their extra verb tenses. There is a vouloir for each situation, unless désirer comes into play. :-)

[Carm_88]

Just now, backyard sylph said:

The French do this well with all their extra verb tenses. There is a vouloir for each situation, unless désirer comes into play. :-)

Hahah yes! Must be all those years of french coming out! The conditional tense was amazing! 

[sophie10130]

honestly, i think it just makes it seem more God-driven. Like you can want all you want. But if you desire it it means you talked with God and he said it was cool.

Just the same, if you purpose to do something, you want to do something while keeping God in mind. Makes it seem more official. Even though it probably all amounts to the same thing, it makes them seem more righteous

[RosyDaisy]

Men accompanying women who are shopping for a wedding dress? OH HAIL NAW! In my family this is strictly for women. A male opinion is not needed or wanted. Oh, and, a father is a parent not a damn babysitter.

[socalrules]

From the photos posted earlier it looked like Jeremy's mother was at the bridal shop. If so, why? My guess of course is storyline. I have never known anyone who took their future mother-in-law wedding dress shopping with them. I wouldn't. It seems like something most people would do with their mom or their close relative or friend. I doubt Jinger is even very close with Jeremy's. It isn't as though they lived close by during the courtship and spent a lot of time together. 

[calimojo]

on that wedding dress shopping show, I saw lots of future MILs in the dress shop.  I think the whole wedding culture is odd.  I would be bored out of my head if I had to sit around for hours while someone tried on a wedding dress.  I would do it with my daughter if she asked me to, but I don't get the whole big deal around it, turning it into a party event on its own. 

Then again,  I got married by a judge, with about 20 people present and had a quickie reception with cake and ice cream and that was it.  Nothing fancy and probably cost less than $300 altogether.  Weddings just don't do much for me.  I know most people feel differently but this is just me

 

[VeganCupcake]

The Jill/Jessa husbands look worse than ever! Why does Ben always look like he's been sobbing moments before his interview? And Derick looks like half of his face has been frozen by a stroke. Did the surgeon snip a wrong nerve? 

Yes I sound harsh but I don't feel one bit bad cause these grown men who know better continue to act hateful and judgmental towards others. 

[flycat]

1 hour ago, socalrules said:

From the photos posted earlier it looked like Jeremy's mother was at the bridal shop. If so, why? My guess of course is storyline. I have never known anyone who took their future mother-in-law wedding dress shopping with them. I wouldn't. It seems like something most people would do with their mom or their close relative or friend. I doubt Jinger is even very close with Jeremy's. It isn't as though they lived close by during the courtship and spent a lot of time together. 

I would have loved to take my mil with me. We have different ideas of style but she has been a wonderful influence on my life. 

[RosyDaisy]

My mother-in-law, my sister-in-law, my sister, and my BFF came with me. I wish my mother was there, but she died in 2007.

[Yes, TOTALLY]

1 hour ago, socalrules said:

From the photos posted earlier it looked like Jeremy's mother was at the bridal shop. If so, why? My guess of course is storyline. I have never known anyone who took their future mother-in-law wedding dress shopping with them. I wouldn't. It seems like something most people would do with their mom or their close relative or friend. I doubt Jinger is even very close with Jeremy's. It isn't as though they lived close by during the courtship and spent a lot of time together. 

My brother's wife wanted me and my mum to come wedding dress shopping with her, rather than her own mother and sister. I didn't ask why, but I did enjoy going along and helping her decide.  She had been part of the family for 8 years by then though.  I agree that in Jinger's case it's a bit weird though, as she barely knows Jeremy's mother. 

[calimojo]

29 minutes ago, VeganCupcake said:

The Jill/Jessa husbands look worse than ever! Why does Ben always look like he's been sobbing moments before his interview? And Derick looks like half of his face has been frozen by a stroke. Did the surgeon snip a wrong nerve? 

Yes I sound harsh but I don't feel one bit bad cause these grown men who know better continue to act hateful and judgmental towards others. 

I agree that Ben and Derick look worse for wear.  Obviously Derick's is from his surgery but I can't account for Ben's loss of looks.  He was a decent looking guy when he first came on the scene.  Good looking in the way that a high school girl would look at a high school boy.  But he looks bad now.  Pasty, with red rimmed eyes and kind of dead in the eyes.  I don't get it.  I give Ben a little more credit than some do in here because first,  His parents should have stepped in and not encouraged him to pursue courtship and marriage so young, especially into a circus like the Duggars.  And secondly,  because he was so young and lacking good guidance, he made a very uninformed decision that impacts his whole life.  And third, he does at least seem to value education and has shown some interests outside of the cult life.  Maybe he will grow up and have some various life experiences that challenge his narrow view of the world.    Unfortunately,  because he is saddled with no obvious skill set, 2 kids, a wife who wants baby after baby, etc,  he will be curtailed from getting to adventurous because Daddy Duggarbucks controls his life.

[Four is Enough]

My first wedding, I took a friend to help shop. My mother didn't live nearby. I fell in love with the first dress and she insisted that I try on  more because "you don't just buy the first dress!"  I tried on 30 with her, went back to the original store alone, and bought the first dress right off the rack.

Second wedding, the husband wanted the big wedding. So I went alone to a store and tried on two dresses and bought one.

I don't get the whole entourage thing, either. My daughter has said she'll want me to go along to look at wedding dresses. I hope we get the same reaction to the wedding dress that she got when she picked her First Communion dress.... she lifted the hanger and gasped, and at that point , I prayed two things: that we could afford it, and that there was one in her size. She still has that dress... If I could, I'd take the sash off of it and incorporate it into her wedding dress. that's what she loved.