Joy and Austin: dating with a purpose .... or something (part 4)

[eveandadam]

13 hours ago, singsingsing said:

Somewhat encouraging to hear that they actually share common interests and hobbies beyond, "We both love Jesus and reading the Bible together."

Haha, it's really apparent that the first thing they name as what they were looking in a spouse is always "has a heart for the Lord". But at the same time this is the main hobby of every single person in this cult. So basically everyone is a match for everyone.

[just...sare]

On 2/10/2017 at 4:57 AM, theilnana said:

I know this is off topic but I'm very interested in adopting as a single parent. Can I ask about the process? I was told by a domestic adoption lawyer that I'm unlikely to be chosen by a birth mom because they usually prefer married couples. Did you adopt internationally? Again there seen to be very few countries that allow unmarried women to adopt. I would love to hear about you experience. And congratulations on living you life on your own terms. 

There's a young lady I "know" on Instagram who has adopted a baby girl from Bulgaria (the little girl has Down Syndrome) and is well on her way through the process to adopting a little boy from Bulgaria as well, and she is a single parent. She lives in Alberta, Canada, but I would imagine it's Bulgaria's adoption laws that would come into play rather than Canada's in this case. If you want me to put you in touch let me know, she has always been happy to answer questions!

ETA: both children were/are adopted from orphanages, rather than through the birth parents.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

On 2/18/2017 at 9:47 PM, VBOY9977 said:

https://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/counting-on/videos/joy-and-austin-discuss-their-courtship

 

well look what i found on TLC's webpage

 

looks like Austin's deep into the relationship.. not sure about Joy though she doesn't look as lovey-dovey as her sisters did...

i'd like to think that it's just because she's kinda shy about sharing too much of her feelings for him on camera (i know i would lol), but idk 

Can I say that these two seem like a genuine couple. When asked what they like about each other, he said how she handles herself and responds to things, not that fundy bullshit line of her heart for the Lord and her servants heart and how godly and modest she is. What do they like to do together, fly, horseback ride, outdoorsy stuff, not bible studies and prayer.  Color me impressed. 

No, i'm not getting my hopes up with these two I'm sure they are neck deep in the Kool Aide but to hear this interview it sounded like any other young couple in love.  So, for now, two thumbs up for Joy and Austin. 

[Chewing Gum]

Thanks @VBOY9977 for the summary. I wish I could see it. Maybe youtube will have it on soon, I can watch the episodes 6 days later that way. 

[Kelsey]

On 2/18/2017 at 9:30 PM, grandmadugger said:

Well I'm sure Austin was defrauded by the girl interviewing them.  I saw cleavage.  On a side note the person interviewing them looks to still be in high school or barely graduated how did she get a job with TLC? I really want to know the difference between courtship and dating because damn that sounded like dating.

Courtship= dating with other people watching you at all times, apparently.

[OyToTheVey]

2 minutes ago, Kelsey said:

Courtship= dating with other people watching you at all times, apparently.

See I don't understand something. If they say that the way they raise children is right, why don't they trust them? If you raise your children to follow the rules, they'll follow them even without chaperones. That's just my point of view. I know that when I was a teen, I didn't need some one staring at me to know what I was doing was right or wrong because my parents raised me to know better. To me, basically what they're saying is do as we say and we don't trust that you'll do it right so here's an accountability partner.

[Shouldabeenacowboy]

21 minutes ago, OyToTheVey said:

See I don't understand something. If they say that the way they raise children is right, why don't they trust them? If you raise your children to follow the rules, they'll follow them even without chaperones. That's just my point of view. I know that when I was a teen, I didn't need some one staring at me to know what I was doing was right or wrong because my parents raised me to know better. To me, basically what they're saying is do as we say and we don't trust that you'll do it right so here's an accountability partner.

Because Satan is always lurking at every corner, ready to jump at the opportunity to take away pieces of your heart.

Or something.

Fundie logic or lack thereof.

[choralcrusader8613]

31 minutes ago, OyToTheVey said:

See I don't understand something. If they say that the way they raise children is right, why don't they trust them? If you raise your children to follow the rules, they'll follow them even without chaperones. That's just my point of view. I know that when I was a teen, I didn't need some one staring at me to know what I was doing was right or wrong because my parents raised me to know better. To me, basically what they're saying is do as we say and we don't trust that you'll do it right so here's an accountability partner.

As you point to, it's obvious that they're not teaching them to follow the rules. They teach them to fear authority.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

4 minutes ago, choralcrusader8613 said:

As you point to, it's obvious that they're not teaching them to follow the rules. They teach them to fear authority.

I've had this argument with a couple of fundy light 'friends'  I've asked all of they why they won't allow their children to talk to, hang out with so and so, and the answer is they aren't christian. My reply is, is your faith so shallow that it will crumble if you spend even a moment with someone who doesn't think exactly like you?  I personally have given my kids the foundation for what I would LIKE them to believe, whether they do that or not is entirely up to them. It is my personal belief that if you are only a Christian because your parents would disown you for not being one or because you are afraid of going to hell then you aren't really much of a Christian. Shouldn't you be a Christian because it is what you believe in your heart to be the word of God? 

[ScorpiousMalfoy]

They seem cute as a couple in the video. It's good they do stuff together and bond over the outdoorsy stuff. When Joy laughed it struck me how similar her laugh is to Jessa's and some of her features too. These two might be the most similar (looks wise) of the older sisters.

[socalrules]

I don't get how you know you can believe you not only know someone but can truly trust them through courtship. How do they not realize that everyone is on their best behavior during a courtship because they are being watched? You don't know who someone is until you have had a chance to be alone with them, have private conversations and disagreements. Everything thing that is said and done during a courtship is because of the knowledge that the chaperone will report back and the parents may end the courtship. 

[marmalade]

3 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

Can I say that these two seem like a genuine couple. When asked what they like about each other, he said how she handles herself and responds to things, not that fundy bullshit line of her heart for the Lord and her servants heart and how godly and modest she is. What do they like to do together, fly, horseback ride, outdoorsy stuff, not bible studies and prayer.  Color me impressed. 

No, i'm not getting my hopes up with these two I'm sure they are neck deep in the Kool Aide but to hear this interview it sounded like any other young couple in love.  So, for now, two thumbs up for Joy and Austin. 

Sorry, but I have to disagree. He said that she always has the "right response." That terminology is straight out of the Gothard Playbook. It also implies that Joy is a brainwashed robot. But we already knew that. 

These two are just going through the motions, although Austin shows a bit more interest than Joy.

[WhoompThereItIs]

1 hour ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I've had this argument with a couple of fundy light 'friends'  I've asked all of they why they won't allow their children to talk to, hang out with so and so, and the answer is they aren't christian. My reply is, is your faith so shallow that it will crumble if you spend even a moment with someone who doesn't think exactly like you?  I personally have given my kids the foundation for what I would LIKE them to believe, whether they do that or not is entirely up to them. It is my personal belief that if you are only a Christian because your parents would disown you for not being one or because you are afraid of going to hell then you aren't really much of a Christian. Shouldn't you be a Christian because it is what you believe in your heart to be the word of God? 

I'm curious what their response was.

39 minutes ago, marmalade said:

Sorry, but I have to disagree. He said that she always has the "right response." That terminology is straight out of the Gothard Playbook. It also implies that Joy is a brainwashed robot. But we already knew that. 

These two are just going through the motions, although Austin shows a bit more interest than Joy.

Exactly this. It rubbed me the wrong way when I heard him say this.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

27 minutes ago, WhoompThereItIs said:

I'm curious what their response was.

 

They usually say something they don't want them to be led astray by the world, to which I replay if you can be so easily swayed...Then they tell me that I'm not understanding them, when it is me they aren't understanding. It is a very circular argument. Most now know me to be a pain in the ass who "over thinks things" so they just avoid topics like this around me. 

[lumpentheologie]

2 hours ago, OyToTheVey said:

See I don't understand something. If they say that the way they raise children is right, why don't they trust them? If you raise your children to follow the rules, they'll follow them even without chaperones. That's just my point of view. I know that when I was a teen, I didn't need some one staring at me to know what I was doing was right or wrong because my parents raised me to know better. To me, basically what they're saying is do as we say and we don't trust that you'll do it right so here's an accountability partner.

When I first heard about all this 'guarding your heart' BS, I really thought it meant protecting yourself from heartbreak.  And it does mean that, but only secondarily.  Since then I've read how guarding your heart is supposed to mean treating your heart like it's a maniacal serial killer plotting to get free, and you have to guard it to make sure it stays in chains and never goes anywhere.  Your heart is EVIL. 

This cult is built on not trusting your heart or your desires or your instincts or anything about yourself, but crushing all of that as much as humanly possible, since all it does is let in sin.  You are supposed to die to yourself -- really destroy yourself as a person and submit to the will of God.  This is some of the worst psychological abuse I can imagine, and it's how these people raise their children. Of course they don't trust their children.  The kids don't trust themselves.  They've been taught there's nothing in themselves worth trusting. 

[OyToTheVey]

15 minutes ago, lumpentheologie said:

When I first heard about all this 'guarding your heart' BS, I really thought it meant protecting yourself from heartbreak.  And it does mean that, but only secondarily.  Since then I've read how guarding your heart is supposed to mean treating your heart like it's a maniacal serial killer plotting to get free, and you have to guard it to make sure it stays in chains and never goes anywhere.  Your heart is EVIL. 

This cult is built on not trusting your heart or your desires or your instincts or anything about yourself, but crushing all of that as much as humanly possible, since all it does is let in sin.  You are supposed to die to yourself -- really destroy yourself as a person and submit to the will of God.  This is some of the worst psychological abuse I can imagine, and it's how these people raise their children. Of course they don't trust their children.  The kids don't trust themselves.  They've been taught there's nothing in themselves worth trusting. 

That's some serial killer shit right there. It's really scary once you really think about it. They really are like walking zombies. 

[jas]

3 hours ago, OyToTheVey said:

See I don't understand something. If they say that the way they raise children is right, why don't they trust them? If you raise your children to follow the rules, they'll follow them even without chaperones. That's just my point of view. I know that when I was a teen, I didn't need some one staring at me to know what I was doing was right or wrong because my parents raised me to know better. To me, basically what they're saying is do as we say and we don't trust that you'll do it right so here's an accountability partner.

I suspect they don't trust them to follow the rules because their rules are so over-the-top it would be unreasonable to expect anyone to follow them. They want sexually frustrated teens, supposedly madly in love with each other, to spend time together without touching! They won't let them off alone together because they would be fighting a losing battle against nature, trying to keep to these mad standards.

 

[Four is Enough]

What I found interesting was that her left hand was ground deeply into her lap the entire time. Hiding the ring?

[candygirl200413]

Someone on one of the duggar tumblrs was saying the same thing during their vday celebration. That her ring finger was always covered

[CorruptionInc.]

18 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

What I found interesting was that her left hand was ground deeply into her lap the entire time. Hiding the ring?

That wouldn't surprise me. A woman I used to work with got engaged on a European holiday and was always hiding her left hand in photos. (Some got a bit ridiculous). It was because she wanted to tell family and close friends first instead just all of facebook / work etc.

[Daisy0322]

Honestly I think the accountability partner is s cover up... the girls family always seems to supply the chaperone. I think it's more of a witness to maintained virginity 

[HereticHick]

I am going to predict an outdoorsy American or Canadian west (or American southwest) honeymoon, with horseback riding.Perhaps Grand Canyon. Perhaps some glamping.

[bashfulpixie]

I hadn't watched the TLC vid before reading here, so I paid attention to her hands.  She moves them both during one of the first questions and there's no ring.  Yet.

[marmalade]

Well, that interview was done over six weeks ago, so maybe not a holiday proposal after all? Maybe he held out until the Duggars threw that pathetic Valentine's party?

[Coconut Flan]

52 minutes ago, Daisy0322 said:

Honestly I think the accountability partner is s cover up... the girls family always seems to supply the chaperone. I think it's more of a witness to maintained virginity 

Either Michelle or Jim Bob has even explained it this way.  The accountability is to account that no hanky panky occurred.