Joy and Austin: dating with a purpose .... or something (part 4)

[Scribber]

This makes me sad. Sure, lots of couples marry young and they work out just fine, but Joy is being raised in a fundie household. Expectations for her future are much more different. She's literally the same age as me. I also have my birthday in October and I cannot imagine getting married at her age, especially to someone whose family is so neck-deep in Kool Aid.

Exactly! It's not so much her age, but the way she was raised that makes it so sad. (Although, they aren't really allowed to grow, so is there really a difference in marrying at 19 and at 26 for them?)

I am totally fine with young marriage when it's a choice. (I was married at 21 - but I had lived with him for 3 years at the time... I moved out the day after my high school graduation. It's been 20 years, so I think it turned out ok.)

[jas]

I am interested to see Joy talk through her thought process before Austin asked her to court. It suggests mental gymnastics to me, her intelligence fighting with the advice that has been drilled into her by her parents that "expectations ruin relationships". She is trying her best not to expect anything, but how can she not when there are so many clues, including the camera crew being present.

"I had some suspicions, just because he actually took me to the rock... yeah, and then there was different things along the way... like there's something fishy going on here, but I don't want to have expectations, but I think I know what's going on, so...yeah."

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, jas said:

I am interested to see Joy talk through her thought process before Austin asked her to court. It suggests mental gymnastics to me, her intelligence fighting with the advice that has been drilled into her by her parents that "expectations ruin relationships". She is trying her best not to expect anything, but how can she not when there are so many clues, including the camera crew being present.

"I had some suspicions, just because he actually took me to the rock... yeah, and then there was different things along the way... like there's something fishy going on here, but I don't want to have expectations, but I think I know what's going on, so...yeah."

Didn't Michelle say one time that "expectations lead to disappointments"?

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

20 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Didn't Michelle say one time that "expectations lead to disappointments"?

That is about the saddest damn thing I've ever heard.  

[Scrabblemaster]

2 hours ago, SassyPants said:

Didn't Michelle say one time that "expectations lead to disappointments"?

Maybe that's what she learned in her own life. 

She expected jimbob to buy her a new washingmachine (i remember that from somewhere, don't know where it was, correct me if i am wrong), but he refused. 

She maybe expected her life to be shiny and wonderful because of the promise that they are great and godly persons. Hey, they follow god's/gothard's rules! But all she got at first was this 3bedroom house with bazillion kids and an old washingmachine. Not to speak about these modern frumper dresses. Or the laundry room breakdown. 

Maybe when tlc and the checks came in she expected her life to be better from then on. And it really worked for some time. But with joshgate 1 & 2, and maybe several other bad publicity or even criticism about their lifestyle, i can see her resign about expectations. 

I know the timeline between michelle saying "expectations lead to disappointments" and the points i wrote above may not relate, but i can see michelle convince herself that the sentence is true because of her experiences. 

I expect you to agree and disagree with this, so please do not disappoint me  

[sparklymagie]

Not that I actually think this will happen, but if the Duggars are sensitive to the criticisms, want to be more appealing to mainstream viewers, and create potentially entertaining TV, wouldn't a perfect storyline be having Austin ask JB for permission to propose to Joy and JB say no because they are too young and to wait a year or two?  It's also a way to play "gotcha!" with the viewers by showing us what we believe is an obvious sign they are engaged (a preview showing Austin asking for permission to propose) and saying "ha ha! We fooled you!  See, we CAN be different and interesting!"

Unfortunately, it's more likely that they are engaged and TLC is still just terrible at storytelling and suspense. Occam's razor and all that. 

[Incognito22]

1 hour ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

That is about the saddest damn thing I've ever heard.  

When Jim bob is your husband it's probably best to lead with this thought. 

[Carm_88]

I think it has to again be said that it's not Joy's actual age that has to come into play, it's her mental age. I don't think Joy is much older than a 12 year old mentally. 

[mango_fandango]

3 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

I think it has to again be said that it's not Joy's actual age that has to come into play, it's her mental age. I don't think Joy is much older than a 12 year old mentally. 

Few fundie women are, really. The married ones are maybe slightly older but not the single ones (or Joy).

I LOVE your avatar. Spurgeon is ADORABLE. Actually, pretty much all the fundie babies are. This just compounds the sadness about their lives for me.

[Carm_88]

23 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

Few fundie women are, really. The married ones are maybe slightly older but not the single ones (or Joy).

I LOVE your avatar. Spurgeon is ADORABLE. Actually, pretty much all the fundie babies are. This just compounds the sadness about their lives for me.

Oh definitely! It's not just Joy, Jill might even be a little younger than 12. It is the fault of their parents who keep them from being a part of the world. 

Spurgeon is adorable and yes, that's what makes fundies sad for me. They have beautiful children, who will get forgotten because their parents have so many children. They become just a number. 

[jdm1777]

I had to create an account just to see what you guys thought about Joy on the Ranch. One thing that struck me on her segment was that she really did seem to enjoy being able to help fix the fence. And then I was sad and it seemed awkward when she had to bring all the guys something to drink. I believe she really will enjoy being on a working ranch and we can have hope that maybe some day she will even get to wear jeans!? (gasp!)

[QuiverFullofBooks]

8 hours ago, SassyPants said:

Didn't Michelle say one time that "expectations lead to disappointments"?

http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/19-kids-and-counting/michelle-duggars-blog/michelle-duggar-no-expectations/

I think I've heard Anna say it too, and maybe some of the other kids, possibly phrased in a way that rhymes? Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

[AlternativeVoice]

My money is on Austin and Joy being the ones to leave fundyland. I know it doesn't seem like that now, But Austin seems to have his own $$$ , enough so to uproot if he wanted too. I think out of all the couples, they will be the ones to surprise us. Of course I could be wrong. But the fact that they've known each other for years......something tells me they probably have had a lot of time to converse without their parents really caring because they were just family friends before the get to know you stage. And Austin is closest to JD. JD isn't drinking the kool aid. at all. But again, I could be very wrong.

[Dandruff]

7 minutes ago, AlternativeVoice said:

My money is on Austin and Joy being the ones to leave fundyland. I know it doesn't seem like that now, But Austin seems to have his own $$$ , enough so to uproot if he wanted too. I think out of all the couples, they will be the ones to surprise us. Of course I could be wrong. But the fact that they've known each other for years......something tells me they probably have had a lot of time to converse without their parents really caring because they were just family friends before the get to know you stage. And Austin is closest to JD. JD isn't drinking the kool aid. at all. But again, I could be very wrong.

Doubt it'll ever happen.  I think he'll probably be running the fundie family camp someday (as the only male offspring), and remain as fundie as ever while the $$s roll in.

15 minutes ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/19-kids-and-counting/michelle-duggars-blog/michelle-duggar-no-expectations/

I think I've heard Anna say it too, and maybe some of the other kids, possibly phrased in a way that rhymes? Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

Don't know about rhyming, but it seems to be a Gothard thing.  I watched Pris and Pecan's wedding and Gothard was giving them a lecture on that same subject.

[Bad Wolf]

So Anna shouldn't have had the expectation of Josh being faithful, even though he'd promised God?

[KelseyAnn]

5 minutes ago, Bad Wolf said:

So Anna shouldn't have had the expectation of Josh being faithful, even though he'd promised God?

Don't be silly. God is a man- not some worthless woman whose feelings dont' matter. 

[CharlieInCharge]

I think the phrase was 'Expectations ruin relationships.' Michelle has said it more recently, but I found this from an oldie, but goodie. 

"5. Perfectionism kills romance. While many of us are trained to be detail-oriented and strive for perfection at work, Jim Bob says bringing that attitude home can be a relationship-killer. Withholding praise makes your loved ones lose that loving feeling. "Expectations ruin relationships," Jim Bob warns."

http://www.today.com/parents/duggars-7-tips-keeping-your-marriage-sexy-even-after-lot-2D12106530

[amendgitan]

On 1/16/2017 at 0:40 PM, Carm_88 said:

Sad thing is that I believe the showing the sheets to prove virginity still happens in some places. I can't remember where though!

My family are Spanish gypsies and some of the more uneducated and super traditional Gypsies still do that. They have a woman break the bride's hymen and parade the blood on the sheet to the waiting celebrants. 

Of course if there's no blood coming out, they manufacture the blood on the sheet and no one but the bride and the woman who is supposed to break her hymen are the wiser. 

Super archaic. 

8 hours ago, jdm1777 said:

I had to create an account just to see what you guys thought about Joy on the Ranch. One thing that struck me on her segment was that she really did seem to enjoy being able to help fix the fence. And then I was sad and it seemed awkward when she had to bring all the guys something to drink. I believe she really will enjoy being on a working ranch and we can have hope that maybe some day she will even get to wear jeans!? (gasp!)

Not in that family!!

4 hours ago, AlternativeVoice said:

My money is on Austin and Joy being the ones to leave fundyland. I know it doesn't seem like that now, But Austin seems to have his own $$$ , enough so to uproot if he wanted too. I think out of all the couples, they will be the ones to surprise us. Of course I could be wrong. But the fact that they've known each other for years......something tells me they probably have had a lot of time to converse without their parents really caring because they were just family friends before the get to know you stage. And Austin is closest to JD. JD isn't drinking the kool aid. at all. But again, I could be very wrong.

I don't see one sign that they will leave the sect. Nothing. 

[Alachantal]

On 1/8/2017 at 4:41 AM, bashfulpixie said:

Anyone else get a creepy/eerie feeling looking at that photo? Like it's wheee a horror movie is taking place or something. 

Just me? 

I think I'm probably in the minority that think it's a really pretty photo. Does it make me want to go there? Nope. But it does look nice. 

[nausicaa]

15 hours ago, SassyPants said:

Didn't Michelle say one time that "expectations lead to disappointments"?

That explains her homeschooling...

[Georgiana]

6 hours ago, Bad Wolf said:

So Anna shouldn't have had the expectation of Josh being faithful, even though he'd promised God?

He didn't JUST promise God! He also forced his bride, wedding guests, and the viewers to sit through a cringe-inducing several minute pompous serenade  about how loyal he was going to be.

At the time, I thought it couldn't get any more cringeworthy.  Boy was I ever wrong.

 

[amendgitan]

3 hours ago, Georgiana said:

He didn't JUST promise God! He also forced his bride, wedding guests, and the viewers to sit through a cringe-inducing several minute pompous serenade  about how loyal he was going to be.

At the time, I thought it couldn't get any more cringeworthy.  Boy was I ever wrong.

 

Eww!! Isn't that typical? 

[TLC371]

US Weekly  just shared a post on Facebook, confirming that Joy Anna and Austin got engaged yesterday.

[choralcrusader8613]

Just now, TLC371 said:

US Weekly  just shared a post on Facebook, confirming that Joy Anna and Austin got engaged yesterday.

http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/joy-anna-duggar-is-engaged-to-boyfriend-austin-forsyth-w470282

Here's the link for people who want to read.

[TLC371]

Just now, choralcrusader8613 said:

http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/joy-anna-duggar-is-engaged-to-boyfriend-austin-forsyth-w470282

Here's the link for people who want to read.

Thanks!  I am at work and couldn't get to the site to share a link to the article!