Joy and Austin: dating with a purpose .... or something (part 4)

[imokit]

@AnnaRuk09But will pressure increase on Jana as she gets older.   She may be protected for a while as her going will mean Michelle has to parent (they can and will dump on Hannie but she won't lead like Jana does and won't be as good for a while longer), but as Jana gets older there will be more and more pressure on her to marry and prove there's nothing wrong.

[onekidanddone]

I did things rather out of order.  First I bought a condo. Then I adopted a kid as a single parent.  Then in my later 40s I married a man I'd known since we were 20.  No, we weren't dating all that time.  We had been friends early in college, there was no romance.  We would call each other up every now and than, but still no romantic feelings.  We didn't' see each other other for over ten years. Then ... out of the blue he calls me up to just say hi.  And then came the spark.  I held him at arms length for a while because of the kid.  I had to know it was right for my daughter before I let the relationship continue.  Aaaaand the saga continued.  A very short time after we became a serious couple I got cancer and started on chemo and radiation.  He moved in to take care of me.  Over six years later here we are.  Our legal anniversary is this weekend.  The court house  deed.  The anniversary of our big family wedding celebration is in April l.  I will add one last thing. Lots of people who knew both of us way back when said they knew it all the time. I swear I had no idea when I met him I'd be here with him now.

 

[mstee]

I don't know if what I'm going to say is going to make sense (it's been a long day) but I'm going to try. I think the biggest thing that keeps people happily married is the ability to go with the flow; to recognize that your partner will grow and possibly change and to not hold onto too many expectations (besides the fundamental ones of course like being treated well etc). The people I've seen that married young and stayed married happily were the ones who didn't sweat the small stuff and were willing to grow with their partner. The ones who said that they wanted everything  certain way and in a certain order didn't end up together. I was in a serious relationship from 19-24ish and the guy wanted to marry me. I knew that I was the uptight, not going with the flow type at that point and knew I was not ready to be married. I'm glad that I listened to my instincts and all that. I wish Joy had that option. But faced with being a sister mom or being married, I may have chosen marriage. Hopefully Joy will be happy. 

[theilnana]

8 hours ago, onekidanddone said:

I did things rather out of order.  First I bought a condo. Then I adopted a kid as a single parent.  Then in my later 40s I married a man I'd known since we were 20.  No, we weren't dating all that time.  We had been friends early in college, there was no romance.  We would call each other up every now and than, but still no romantic feelings.  We didn't' see each other other for over ten years. Then ... out of the blue he calls me up to just say hi.  And then came the spark.  I held him at arms length for a while because of the kid.  I had to know it was right for my daughter before I let the relationship continue.  Aaaaand the saga continued.  A very short time after we became a serious couple I got cancer and started on chemo and radiation.  He moved in to take care of me.  Over six years later here we are.  Our legal anniversary is this weekend.  The court house  deed.  The anniversary of our big family wedding celebration is in April l.  I will add one last thing. Lots of people who knew both of us way back when said they knew it all the time. I swear I had no idea when I met him I'd be here with him now.

 

I know this is off topic but I'm very interested in adopting as a single parent. Can I ask about the process? I was told by a domestic adoption lawyer that I'm unlikely to be chosen by a birth mom because they usually prefer married couples. Did you adopt internationally? Again there seen to be very few countries that allow unmarried women to adopt. I would love to hear about you experience. And congratulations on living you life on your own terms. 

[onekidanddone]

11 hours ago, theilnana said:

I know this is off topic but I'm very interested in adopting as a single parent. Can I ask about the process? I was told by a domestic adoption lawyer that I'm unlikely to be chosen by a birth mom because they usually prefer married couples. Did you adopt internationally? Again there seen to be very few countries that allow unmarried women to adopt. I would love to hear about you experience. And congratulations on living you life on your own terms. 

I adopted internationally and it took several years. I worked through an agency and various programs kept closing or chaining their requirements.  Daughter finally came to me through China's special needs program in 2005.  At the time that was the only way a single woman could adopt out from there.  Laws change, countries change, China for example is now closed to all single women. (They never did allow single men to adopt).  I do know a few single women who have adopted.  Some domestically some from other from other countries. I was part of a single mom's group when I first came back from China.  I quit when I was no longer single.  Also, I am way to introverted.  I never felt comfortable  with them.  My suggestion is shop around with different agencies. I know my state has a foster-to-adopt program. Or it used to.  As I said, I'm really out of that world now.  My life is full of  nagging my kid to clean the cat box and having her yell at me because she broke her own lamp.  Somehow  it was my fault.

[TheWayTheWorldWorks]

On 2/9/2017 at 9:04 PM, mstee said:

I don't know if what I'm going to say is going to make sense (it's been a long day) but I'm going to try. I think the biggest thing that keeps people happily married is the ability to go with the flow; to recognize that your partner will grow and possibly change and to not hold onto too many expectations (besides the fundamental ones of course like being treated well etc). The people I've seen that married young and stayed married happily were the ones who didn't sweat the small stuff and were willing to grow with their partner.  [Snip]

I think you hit the nail on the head here.  I married young (21).  It has been 20 years.  Some happy days, some tolerable days, some days I banged my head on the wall and asked myself wtf I was thinking but at the end of every day, I know that he has my back, that he gets me and my crap and that we will figure it out and vice versa.  Love is not easy sometimes.  Marrying young means you will give up some things, but you will gain others.

[Note: commenting on young marriage in general, not Joy's situation.]

[Stormy]

Since there was some speculation about the possibility, does anyone still think there'll be a Valentine's Day proposal from Austin?

[IReallyAmHopewell]

28 minutes ago, Stormy said:

Since there was some speculation about the possibility, does anyone still think there'll be a Valentine's Day proposal from Austin?

They're probably already married. Sprog # 1 will be magically born in time for the end of next season as they flash back AGAIN to all te same wedding planning. Frontier Ozark Redneck [Whatever the heck the last name is] will be popped out to a chorus of oooohs and "how precious" with his midwife aunt doing the honors of cleaning up the mess....I mean being the birth midwife. Jana will do the clean up. The whole show is re-enacted. It's like those hokey docu-dramas where people are shown in shadow as the main characters but never speak--only we have to hear them all mangle the English language to prove the superiority of their non-education.

[karen77]

30 minutes ago, Stormy said:

Since there was some speculation about the possibility, does anyone still think there'll be a Valentine's Day proposal from Austin?

We probably won't hear about it until next monday....gotta keep people watching! (plus, we didn't hear about the other ones the same day either)

[December]

1 hour ago, Stormy said:

Since there was some speculation about the possibility, does anyone still think there'll be a Valentine's Day proposal from Austin?

 

I think it will all depend on the production schedule and ratings. 

[Bad Wolf]

I think it will depend on whether People wants the announcement.

[Ampak]

It's really annoying to me that they announced a courtship and the don't mention it at all the entire season. Then , they'll wait 6 months to do another season and everything vault the courtship will already be public knowledge. How does TLC suck so severely at this?

[singsingsing]

The courtship is definitely going to be featured in this season, they've had previews for it. They just need to get through Jinger's wedding and honeymoon first.

[Ampak]

The courtship is definitely going to be featured in this season, they've had previews for it. They just need to get through Jinger's wedding and honeymoon first.

Why are we seeing the wedding again? This makes no sense to me.

[singsingsing]

4 minutes ago, Ampak said:

Why are we seeing the wedding again? This makes no sense to me.

 

 

Oh, don't worry, this time we're going to get to watch everything we already saw, plus be rewarded with an extra hour's worth of Jinger saying, "Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaabe!" at a pitch only dogs can hear, Michelle's glassy-eyed thousand-yard stare, Jim Bob's "aw shucks it's so hard to let another man take ownership of my property, I mean give away my daughter", the younger kids looking bored and depressed, Jill and Derick grinning dementedly as they spout the nonsense 'wisdom' they've accrued over 2 years of marriage, and if we're really, really lucky we might even get to see Ben attempting to rap, someone vomiting, and at least 30 or 40 flashbacks to Jinger's childhood, courtship, engagement, wedding planning, and every other wedding ever featured on the show.

[Carm_88]

15 minutes ago, Ampak said:

Why are we seeing the wedding again? This makes no sense to me.

 

 

The wedding is this Monday. Two whole hours. 

[CorruptionInc.]

1 hour ago, Ampak said:

It's really annoying to me that they announced a courtship and the don't mention it at all the entire season. Then , they'll wait 6 months to do another season and everything vault the courtship will already be public knowledge. How does TLC suck so severely at this?

To guarantee extra seasons of the show...

[VBOY9977]

https://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/counting-on/videos/joy-and-austin-discuss-their-courtship

 

well look what i found on TLC's webpage

 

looks like Austin's deep into the relationship.. not sure about Joy though she doesn't look as lovey-dovey as her sisters did...

i'd like to think that it's just because she's kinda shy about sharing too much of her feelings for him on camera (i know i would lol), but idk 

[grandmadugger]

39 minutes ago, VBOY9977 said:

https://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/counting-on/videos/joy-and-austin-discuss-their-courtship

 

well look what i found on TLC's webpage

 

looks like Austin's deep into the relationship.. not sure about Joy though she doesn't look as lovey-dovey as her sisters did...

i'd like to think that it's just because she's kinda shy about sharing too much of her feelings for him on camera (i know i would lol), but idk 

 

Well I'm sure Austin was defrauded by the girl interviewing them.  I saw cleavage.  On a side note the person interviewing them looks to still be in high school or barely graduated how did she get a job with TLC? I really want to know the difference between courtship and dating because damn that sounded like dating.

[candygirl200413]

The interviewer is I guess a former reality tv star/ former ms. Minnesota winner who is looking to go to grad school. She was on one of my all time favorite "quality" reality tv shows bridezillas and I think one of the people on the first season of marriage boot camp. I've followed her on social media since those days!

I wonder if this is just this one interview or maybe she'll change because we have to see it during next season but I have a feeling she'll be one of the chillest of the girls going through a courtship.

[grandmadugger]

51 minutes ago, candygirl200413 said:

The interviewer is I guess a former reality tv star/ former ms. Minnesota winner who is looking to go to grad school. She was on one of my all time favorite "quality" reality tv shows bridezillas and I think one of the people on the first season of marriage boot camp. I've followed her on social media since those days!

I wonder if this is just this one interview or maybe she'll change because we have to see it during next season but I have a feeling she'll be one of the chillest of the girls going through a courtship.

 

Holy Cow I would have guessed the interviewer was Joy's age at most not a college graduate.  I wonder if she gets carded all the time? lol

[Chewing Gum]

I can't see it, it keeps reloading. Probably because I'm foreign. Can someone give me a summary? 

[jqlgoblue]

Joy has always seemed less silly/girly than her sisters. I actually think that means nothing regarding her happiness being married or being a mother. I am similar but am really good with kids, which always surprises people (because women can't be nurturing unless they act ridiculously feminine?).

 

 

[VBOY9977]

13 hours ago, Chewing Gum said:

I can't see it, it keeps reloading. Probably because I'm foreign. Can someone give me a summary? 

She asks them how they met, they say they met at church ages ago but Joy only remembers him for like 5 years ago. Austin says the courtship's going really well, they've been doing a lot of activities, etc and joy says that they're getting to know each other a lot better .... then she asks them their favourite thing about each other and Austin says everything which was really cute. then they say they love doing things outdoors, flying together and doing horseback riding

[singsingsing]

Somewhat encouraging to hear that they actually share common interests and hobbies beyond, "We both love Jesus and reading the Bible together."