Joy and Austin: dating with a purpose .... or something (part 4)

[JesusHDuggar]

They edited the sneak peak to imply Jana was courting. What a cheap trick! 

[Tangy Bee]

8 hours ago, socalrules said:

I don't get how you know you can believe you not only know someone but can truly trust them through courtship. How do they not realize that everyone is on their best behavior during a courtship because they are being watched? You don't know who someone is until you have had a chance to be alone with them, have private conversations and disagreements. Everything thing that is said and done during a courtship is because of the knowledge that the chaperone will report back and the parents may end the courtship. 

Wish I could push the "like" button 10 times for this comment!

[luv2laugh]

How sad. These two are definitely going to be getting married this summer/fall. She will be pregnant by Christmas. Mark my words.

 

After they marry Joy off, the only other one left is Jana. There won't be any viewer interest in who the boys marry as much and the younger girls won't start marrying for a couple of years.

 

Viewers will become tired of the endless pregnancies and births of Jessa and Jill. The ONLY interest left will be in Jinger's pregnancy, the marriage of Joy and her subsequent pregnancy and in the marriage of Jana. The show has a lifetime of about 2 more years and then stick a fork in it, it should hopefully be done. What else left can they do? 

 

 

[eveandadam]

It seems to be a trend that the daughters have it easier to get married in those circles than the sons? Why is that? Or is it because men need to be older and financially more together to start a courtship, hence, they get married 5 years later on average? One exception is the oldest son but the rest of the boys seems to be stuck without a women for a far longer time.

[shiverful]

2 hours ago, eveandadam said:

It seems to be a trend that the daughters have it easier to get married in those circles than the sons? Why is that? Or is it because men need to be older and financially more together to start a courtship, hence, they get married 5 years later on average? One exception is the oldest son but the rest of the boys seems to be stuck without a women for a far longer time.

It may be because of their age. With the exception of Jana and John-David all the siblings that are 23 or older is married. Jill was 23 when she married, Jinger was almost 23, Jessa was 22 and Josh 20. Joseph is "only" 22 and Josiah 21, so if you compare them to Jill and Jinger they are not that far behind.

The ones that startet courting at a really young age were Josh, Josiah (the failed courtship) and now Joy-Anna.

[Iokaste]

On 19/2/2017 at 4:47 AM, VBOY9977 said:

https://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/counting-on/videos/joy-and-austin-discuss-their-courtship

 

well look what i found on TLC's webpage

 

looks like Austin's deep into the relationship.. not sure about Joy though she doesn't look as lovey-dovey as her sisters did...

i'd like to think that it's just because she's kinda shy about sharing too much of her feelings for him on camera (i know i would lol), but idk 

Jill and Jinger, not Jessa. Jessa's bodylanguage was a terrified scream of "get, that one away from me!" and "don't touch, don't touch, don't touch, pleeeeease, DON'T TOUCH!".
The marrying off of Jessa Duggar to a boy that she clearly felt no attraction to physically or intellectually is high on the "Most Uncomfortable Duggar Moment"-list.

[Tangy Bee]

7 minutes ago, Iokaste said:

Jill and Jinger, not Jessa. Jessa's bodylanguage was a terrified scream of "get, that one away from me!" and "don't touch, don't touch, don't touch, pleeeeease, DON'T TOUCH!".
The marrying off of Jessa Duggar to a boy that she clearly felt no attraction to physically or intellectually is high on the "Most Uncomfortable Duggar Moment"-list.

Well...they sure are doing alot of "touching" now with 2 babies. Yes...babies. I like the part where u said "boy". I know he was legally an adult at the time, but I just could not see him as a man. I just felt like they got married to have sex.

[JermajestyDuggar]

14 minutes ago, Iokaste said:

Jill and Jinger, not Jessa. Jessa's bodylanguage was a terrified scream of "get, that one away from me!" and "don't touch, don't touch, don't touch, pleeeeease, DON'T TOUCH!".
The marrying off of Jessa Duggar to a boy that she clearly felt no attraction to physically or intellectually is high on the "Most Uncomfortable Duggar Moment"-list.

I think Jessa and Joy are just anti PDA. I think Jessa was attracted to Ben in the beginning but she's so smug and self controlled (again don't let those pesky emotions get in the way) that she didn't want to show how attracted she was to him. They even hid their first kiss. I bet that was Jessa's idea. 

I also get the vibe that Joy isn't into PDA either.  

[singsingsing]

It's funny how wildly different people's interpretations are. Half of FJ seems to think Jessa was repulsed by Ben, the other half thinks she was so desperate to have sex with him that she married him despite thinking he was kind of a doofus. It can't be both.

(From my perspective, she sure as hell seemed attracted to him, and still does. Jessa is kind of cold and really does not like to look silly or vulnerable. She takes her image very seriously. And it's awkward to start your first relationship on camera. If I were being filmed while I was dating, I would probably come across super awkward, maybe even grossed out or terrified even if I was intensely attracted to the guy. Maybe even especially then.)

[HereticHick]

6 hours ago, eveandadam said:

It seems to be a trend that the daughters have it easier to get married in those circles than the sons? Why is that? 

Perhaps no one wants to marry a brother of Josh Duggar

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

41 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

It's funny how wildly different people's interpretations are. Half of FJ seems to think Jessa was repulsed by Ben, the other half thinks she was so desperate to have sex with him that she married him despite thinking he was kind of a doofus. It can't be both.

(From my perspective, she sure as hell seemed attracted to him, and still does. Jessa is kind of cold and really does not like to look silly or vulnerable. She takes her image very seriously. And it's awkward to start your first relationship on camera. If I were being filmed while I was dating, I would probably come across super awkward, maybe even grossed out or terrified even if I was intensely attracted to the guy. Maybe even especially then.)

This, Jessa strikes me as somewhat of a control freak and until she married she had no control over her life expect her emotions so she only shows us what she wants too. Even now she doesn't have as much control as she would like, daddy owns her house and her husband and she must technically defer to her headship. I also assume this is why she is so bossy and demanding with her sisters. She ruled every jurisdiction with an iron fist, she takes charge of every situation she is in with women, and I think she is temperamental/moody (pregnant nursing pregnant again does NOT help this) and I think her hot and cold TH with Ben are just results of her mood that dad.

OR some days she's just fucking tired and can't be bothered to "keep sweet" for the cameras after dealing with a cranky baby all night and being pregnant, again. 

While I'm armchair analyzing Jessa, I think aside from her competition with Jill if given an opportunity like Jinger had to get the hell out she would run faster than Usain Bolt. 

[Iokaste]

19 hours ago, singsingsing said:

It's funny how wildly different people's interpretations are. Half of FJ seems to think Jessa was repulsed by Ben, the other half thinks she was so desperate to have sex with him that she married him despite thinking he was kind of a doofus. It can't be both.

(From my perspective, she sure as hell seemed attracted to him, and still does. Jessa is kind of cold and really does not like to look silly or vulnerable. She takes her image very seriously. And it's awkward to start your first relationship on camera. If I were being filmed while I was dating, I would probably come across super awkward, maybe even grossed out or terrified even if I was intensely attracted to the guy. Maybe even especially then.)

Hahaha, yup, I wonder if there are cultural differences as well? It would be kind of interesting to see if there were regional differences, say, that the European members in general were on the "oh, no, she's repulsed by her daddy-designated beau" and the North-Americans were in the "Aw, she's just shy"-camp.

I actually think it kind of could be both though. He was the first boy she was allowed to have any type of interest in without surpressing it and even if he is a silly boy, it was something new and exciting, and Jessa never really seemed to have any other interests than homemaking. Jill has her midwifery, Jana and Jessa both are musically interested and respectibly into interior decorating and photography, so with that in mind she was really ripe for marriage and a new chapter. Ben is not repulsive, he is from a acceptable family and she has been trained her whole life to surpress her own desires and emotions for the good of her family, primarily the men in her family.
She seems happy with wife- and motherhood though, so that's nice. 

[Bim]

On 2/21/2017 at 6:28 AM, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

This, Jessa strikes me as somewhat of a control freak and until she married she had no control over her life expect her emotions so she only shows us what she wants too. Even now she doesn't have as much control as she would like, daddy owns her house and her husband and she must technically defer to her headship. I also assume this is why she is so bossy and demanding with her sisters. She ruled every jurisdiction with an iron fist, she takes charge of every situation she is in with women, and I think she is temperamental/moody (pregnant nursing pregnant again does NOT help this) and I think her hot and cold TH with Ben are just results of her mood that dad.

OR some days she's just fucking tired and can't be bothered to "keep sweet" for the cameras after dealing with a cranky baby all night and being pregnant, again. 

While I'm armchair analyzing Jessa, I think aside from her competition with Jill if given an opportunity like Jinger had to get the hell out she would run faster than Usain Bolt. 

Yes. To me Jessa is a HUGE control freak, all the other kids would say they were scared of her when she was in charge.  IMO she was attracted Ben and just wanted to have sex and be in somewhat control of her own life (as much as she can). I do have to say in the Counting On episodes she seems much more in charge than Ben, he's too focused on his BF Flame and his schooling to care about anything else.

Honestly, I have so much hope for Joy, she at least has known Austin for a long time so she probably knows him better than some of the other girls knew their husbands. Sometimes I think she's courting so young is to get away and to avoid being the new mum in the Duggar compound, and I can't blame her. 

[Kimichaels147]

On 2/21/2017 at 8:24 AM, HereticHick said:

Perhaps no one wants to marry a brother of Josh Duggar

I figure that if you marry a Duggar girl, she takes your name so you get rid of that stigma. If you marry your daughter to a Duggar boy, you are taking that name into your family. After Josh, nobody wants that connection to them. 

[SassyPants]

In the fundie world what does a Duggar boy have to offer?

No educations

No jobs

The only one that has anything that makes him attractive is JD and he seemingly has no interest.

 

[HandHoldingHeathen]

I am watching Monday's episode right now and Joy DEFINITELY has a ring on her left ring finger.  You can clearly see it when she is standing at the Duggar counter (although if it has a stone, it is turned inward and we only see a gold band) and when they are at that blonde lady friend of Michele's house getting greenery, Joy is fidgeting with the ring on that finger, twisting it and stuff while the blonde lady is talking about what needs to be picked from the trees.  I recorded it but I don't know how to upload it here.  She is definitely wearing a ring on that finger!!  Someone tell me how to upload it and I will...

[justmy2cents]

@HandHoldingHeathen The daughters have purity ring so that may be what you're seeing.  That scene you mention was filmed in early November.

[front hugs > duggs]

I know people always speculate about seeing THE ring on THE finger during episodes or interviews, someone hiding a hand specifically, etc. The Duggars aren't dumb when it comes to their image. I'd imagine if Joy was engaged, and they weren't ready to film or announce it, the ring would get hidden far away before the TLC camera crews show up. Or when they do their "update" interviews and weren't ready to announce, they wouldn't go on camera wearing it. Idk. Personal opinion.

[HandHoldingHeathen]

Didn't know about the purity rings.  That could be it.  I guess time will tell!

[Four is Enough]

I also think that as soon as the courtship is announced, the girl is told to hide that hand to spark interest and speculation.

[danni9242]

5 hours ago, SassyPants said:

In the fundie world what does a Duggar boy have to offer?

No educations

No jobs

The only one that has anything that makes him attractive is JD and he seemingly has no interest.

 

JD is clearly the best son left but I think Joseph is trying to follow him a little. He can operate machinery/the tow truck and was doing towing and car flipping? I think with a shove in the right direction he could do well.

I do wonder if the boys are cautious and very aware of how Jose's actions impact views of them, particularly after Joseph's failed courtship.

JD seems over the show, cameras etc and doesn't want a public courtship/TLC wedding. I also wonder whether he wants to enjoy marriage and a few kids instead of the pressure of supporting bajilionty kids. He is old enough to remember clearly the days before the TLC paychecks came in.

The older Duggars seem to have got a better deal on education when M and JB could actually be bothered so whilst they have no real diplomas they were actually taught things they could use in the real world, or at least the boys were encouraged so they're not helpless if they make an effort.

 Also, JD works with 'outsiders' who have real interests and conversations so maybe he's not interested in the available women and would prefer a 'Fundie lite' wife who has real hobbies they've had proper guidance in and who can a conversation outside of devotions or their home/children?

[Jiraffe]

6 minutes ago, danni9242 said:

 -snip-

Also, JD works with 'outsiders' who have real interests and conversations so maybe he's not interested in the available women and would prefer a 'Fundie lite' wife who has real hobbies they've had proper guidance in and who can a conversation outside of devotions or their home/children?

At one point JD was bringing Jana and Jill along to fire department things, like CPR and that time they controlled-burned a house for training purposes. (And they made those ridiculous uniform skirts because extraneous fabric on your uniform in a FIRE isn't a problem, but I digress. Lol) It would be awesome if he found a fundie-lite girl in his work environment somehow. Even working in a civilian position for the police department or something. He would actually have something in common with her beyond God, unlike the other married siblings. Well, I guess Jill and Derick thought they had something in common in missions, but I'd say the jury is distinctly out on that. 

Not sure what the odds are of that happening, but JD and Josiah are the boys I'm rooting for. Josiah mainly because he is just soooooo unDuggar in his mannerisms.

[Iamtheway]

If Josh hadn't fallen from grace it would have been easier for JD to marry who ever he wanted. I think he feels responsible for his siblings, as do Jana. And I think he works extra hard to be a good role model.

And in their world that means finding a perfect fundie wife. Not some heathen with her own opinions. She might wear pants and disagre with him. The horror ...

[RosyDaisy]

Don't forget the Duggars are well off. Sometimes that's enough to overlook the sin.

[Kelsey]

I'm not sure that Joshgate 1.0 is the reason the other boys aren't married. They weren't married before that and JD was much older than Josh already (Josh's marriage age). Also, these people are willing to overlook anything in order to marry a daughter off ie, Tabitha Paine.