Jana's future part 2

[front hugs > duggs]

14 hours ago, TeamDefraudinSquad said:

The hollywood gossip is speculating that Jana is a lesbian because Joy is courting now and Jana still isn't. Ugh. Do these gossip rags stop to consider that bigots like the Duggars, rumor or not, will treat this as though its fact and alienate her/make her life a living hell for it? (Rhetorical question...the answer is obviously "no they do not...") 

Maybe I'm being naive, but I don't think JB&M would pay any attention to that, and probably not even us at FJ (though I completely support the rules we have about speculation of minors and kidults). There probably are specific reasons that Jana isn't courting (doesn't want to, praying over a specific guy, slave labor, etc.) and I would think JB, Michelle, and Jana are on the same page about that. I'd be very surprised if JB&M listened to hollywood gossip saying Jana is a lesbian because she isn't married and changed how they treated her. Also, as we've unfortunately seen with that horrible picture, they believe tabloids are stupid and spread rumors (and have to post a kissing picture to prove it).

[seraaa]

13 hours ago, Coconut Flan said:

I think Jana and John David have their own reasons for what they're doing.  Perhaps some day we'll find out or if they want to keep their privacy, I'll respect that.

Yes. I wonder if the both of them have just opted out of having any of their relationships on the show, and that's why we hear nothing.

12 minutes ago, front hugs > duggs said:

Maybe I'm being naive, but I don't think JB&M would pay any attention to that, and probably not even us at FJ (though I completely support the rules we have about speculation of minors and kidults). There probably are specific reasons that Jana isn't courting (doesn't want to, praying over a specific guy, slave labor, etc.) and I would think JB, Michelle, and Jana are on the same page about that. I'd be very surprised if JB&M listened to hollywood gossip saying Jana is a lesbian because she isn't married and changed how they treated her. Also, as we've unfortunately seen with that horrible picture, they believe tabloids are stupid and spread rumors (and have to post a kissing picture to prove it).

Hollywood Gossip is notorious for making up stories, anyway. I think everyone will just ignore it.

[Coconut Flan]

11 hours ago, pancakes said:

I was under the impression that the M kids were in the dorms with their cousins. I'm guessing Jana is still changing diapers and dealing with feedings although perhaps not at the same level as it was with her own siblings. Didn't Anna talk about what a help Jana has been in one of the recent episodes? I got the feeling that Jana was helping a lot with those kids.

Anna and her children were shown a few times living in the girls' dorm room while Josh was in rehab.  Where they are now I don't think we know.  It's been the subject of discussion and many guesses are leaning toward the guest house at the front of the property. 

[MargaretElliott]

16 hours ago, TeamDefraudinSquad said:

The hollywood gossip is speculating that Jana is a lesbian because Joy is courting now and Jana still isn't. Ugh. Do these gossip rags stop to consider that bigots like the Duggars, rumor or not, will treat this as though its fact and alienate her/make her life a living hell for it? (Rhetorical question...the answer is obviously "no they do not...") 

I agree, this is just shameful. Jana's sexuality is no one's business but her own. It's not even JB's busines, even though he thinks it is. 

[Carm_88]

12 hours ago, pancakes said:

I was under the impression that the M kids were in the dorms with their cousins. I'm guessing Jana is still changing diapers and dealing with feedings although perhaps not at the same level as it was with her own siblings. Didn't Anna talk about what a help Jana has been in one of the recent episodes? I got the feeling that Jana was helping a lot with those kids.

I think that Anna is probably elsewhere now and even if Jana is helping with the M kids or Spurgeon or Izzy; it's nothing compred to what she was doing when Michelle was popping out kid after kid. 

[DaisyD]

A tabloid did a shitty thing by speculating on Jana. Calling that out as shitty is allowed. Speculating ourselves, is not. The more the spec is quoted, the more it spreads. Discussion is fine, less quoting of the article contents would be great.

[eveandadam]

13 hours ago, DaisyD said:

A tabloid did a shitty thing by speculating on Jana. Calling that out as shitty is allowed. Speculating ourselves, is not. The more the spec is quoted, the more it spreads. Discussion is fine, less quoting of the article contents would be great.

A very weird article! Speculating about orientation and admitting that it is wrong at the same time.

I wonder if it is something who reads on FJ?

[nastyhobbitses]

20 hours ago, front hugs > duggs said:

Maybe I'm being naive, but I don't think JB&M would pay any attention to that, and probably not even us at FJ (though I completely support the rules we have about speculation of minors and kidults). There probably are specific reasons that Jana isn't courting (doesn't want to, praying over a specific guy, slave labor, etc.) and I would think JB, Michelle, and Jana are on the same page about that. I'd be very surprised if JB&M listened to hollywood gossip saying Jana is a lesbian because she isn't married and changed how they treated her. Also, as we've unfortunately seen with that horrible picture, they believe tabloids are stupid and spread rumors (and have to post a kissing picture to prove it).

That last bit makes me slightly worried that they'd force Jana into a courtship to "prove the tabloids wrong", even if she wasn't gay at all and just didn't want to be in a relationship right now.

[Fun Undies]

I'm more worried about them pushing a guy on her, because she's "getting up there" in fundie world (at least in their eyes).

[Childless]

My theory is that she's putting it off so she'll be older when she does marry, thus ensuring less children.  Plus, the longer she stays in the tinker toy house, the less work she has to do.  The kids are getting older, so no more diaper changing, midnight feedings, bathing, dressing, etc.  The older the kids get the less help they need with school work (just plop them in front of the computer, it's not like they care about education anyway).  I'm sure her free time has been increasing as the years go by.  Why on earth would she trade that in to be some idiot man's slave and once again have to do the whole baby thing?  Hell, if I were her, I'd milk it for all its worth.  She's got a good thing going.  Why ruin it?

[Carm_88]

Poor Jana; she's damned if she does and she's damned if she doesn't. She cannot win.  

[SassyPants]

Plus Jana has that new building. Who really knows what she and JD are up to...maybe they are the 2 that actually are bucking the trend. Good for them!

My son is 8 months younger than the twins. He rents a home  with 4 friends. They all attended college together and are having a blast just living as young adults in a major US city. 

I think the twins have much more latitude than their younger siblings. More responsibilities within the home, more latitude, within reason, outside the home.

[Kira]

1  Jana and  JD are not alone:

2.   Many  fundies get married  after 25.  They  won't have 19 kids, but a most fundies have "small" quivers.  Melissa Smith got married at 39 and it looks like she's going to try to have as many babies she can.  Remember Jana's  best friend  Priscilla  and  Michael got married in  their  late twenties .    

3. Who knows  why  Jana and  JD  are unmarried.  I can think of  a million reasons.  I think she wants to get married and hasn't found someone. It happens. Some SAHDs have blogged about the difficulty of finding a spouse. Anna Beasley , who has more  freedom than Jana, has been complaining about being single since she was a teen. 

4.  I  also fear Jana  will have an  "arranged"  marriage. I wouldn't be  surprised if they feel like they have  to       find a suitor for  Jana now that Joy is  courting.  As someone said in the "Joy" thread, don't be surprised if Jana announces a courtship next year.

[imokit]

But Joy is courting.  Joy will get married and be out of the house.

The lost girls have not been trained the way the J'Slaves were.  The J'Slaves were all J'slaves at the ages the lost girls are now (6 year old Jinger had chores and responsibilities in a way Josie does not, then compare Hannie with Jana at her age).  The house will not cope, the little girls don't have the skills their sisters had (and good for them - they were far better fed and had far more play time and better childhoods within the fundy S***t). The big boys won't take responsibility for chores and childcare.

M&JB need a senior trained girl to stop hard times coming.

The only way Jana can go is if Anna & Josh move back permanently or another Duggar daughter comes home with her husband (Jessa/Ben - most likely of them).  Unless Anna/married Duggar moves in and takes responsibility for the TTH along with their kids, Jana has to stay for practical reasons.

[jacduggar]

On 11/22/2016 at 0:03 PM, Carm_88 said:

I think that Anna is probably elsewhere now and even if Jana is helping with the M kids or Spurgeon or Izzy; it's nothing compred to what she was doing when Michelle was popping out kid after kid. 

 I always got the impression that all the older Duggar girls did a lot of aunt duty helping each other out. I never really understood the "aunt cinder-Jana" thing because we've seen all the oldest (sans princess Blessa) helping out the M kids, Izzy, and Spurge. It's a lot different when it's a niece or nephew for a few hours vs. sister-mom 24/7. 

[eye_browz]

2 hours ago, imokit said:

But Joy is courting.  Joy will get married and be out of the house.

The lost girls have not been trained the way the J'Slaves were.  The J'Slaves were all J'slaves at the ages the lost girls are now (6 year old Jinger had chores and responsibilities in a way Josie does not, then compare Hannie with Jana at her age).  The house will not cope, the little girls don't have the skills their sisters had (and good for them - they were far better fed and had far more play time and better childhoods within the fundy S***t). The big boys won't take responsibility for chores and childcare.

M&JB need a senior trained girl to stop hard times coming.

The only way Jana can go is if Anna & Josh move back permanently or another Duggar daughter comes home with her husband (Jessa/Ben - most likely of them).  Unless Anna/married Duggar moves in and takes responsibility for the TTH along with their kids, Jana has to stay for practical reasons.

If Jessa was the head female in charge, she would definitely be a manger of the young unmarried J'slaves (including nieces). She would give orders and oversee everything. However Jessa would never actually help, kind of like Michelle. With Jessa in charge as the manager, Michelle could "retire" completely. 

MIchelle will have to clean, cook and homeschool again, especially  with Jill, Jinger, and Jessa gone (and Joy's leaving soon, and eventually Jana). But she will never do that. I recently saw a picture of Jed and Jer washing dishes on Facebook. I bet some of those boys have started doing "women's work".

I wonder who's doing laundry since Jinger left? That was her job for years.

 

[Carm_88]

3 minutes ago, eye_browz said:

I wonder who's doing laundry since Jinger left? That was her job for years.

Well it seemed like Jinger was training Joy to do some of her jobs, bread for example, but now that Joy will be leaving soon-ish. I don't know. 

[Kira]

5 hours ago, eye_browz said:

 

I wonder who's doing laundry since Jinger left? That was her job for years.

 

Tabitha Paine ?

Another reason I wouldn't be surprised to find out Jana is in a courtship is because of all the hinting on "Counting On", especially the first season.

[AnnaRuk09]

17 minutes ago, Kira said:

Tabitha Paine ?

Another reason I wouldn't be surprised to find out Jana is in a courtship is because of all the hinting on "Counting On", especially the first season.

Well to be fair, they've been playing that game for YEARS! It's just TLC bull to get people to continue watching their crap and to get people wondering. 

[Kira]

21 minutes ago, AnnaRuk09 said:

Well to be fair, they've been playing that game for YEARS! It's just TLC bull to get people to continue watching their crap and to get people wondering. 

I agree, but the first season of " Counting On" was....different. Jinger being coy about courting, Joy was questioned all season long about courting and Jana describing her perfect man(as other have pointed out  her description seemed very specific) Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if Jana, JD, Joseph and Josiah are all married off in the next two years.

[Bad Wolf]

Remember in season 1 Jana said she didn't see that coming? Maybe we'll find out what that was in season 3. Or not.

[sophie10130]

7 minutes ago, Bad Wolf said:

Remember in season 1 Jana said she didn't see that coming? Maybe we'll find out what that was in season 3. Or not.

What a weird cliffhanger

To never resolve or bring up again 

[AnnaRuk09]

42 minutes ago, Kira said:

I agree, but the first season of " Counting On" was....different. Jinger being coy about courting, Joy was questioned all season long about courting and Jana describing her perfect man(as other have pointed out  her description seemed very specific) Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if Jana, JD, Joseph and Josiah are all married off in the next two years.

What did she exactly say? All I remember was she wanted a hard working type instead of the office type, correct? It was only one thing? It was Anna I think who then added dirt under the nails part. 

[amendgitan]

There's a lot of optimism on these threads about Jana and her future and her "choices". I don't share it. 
The lifestyle of this family in not seeking out a mate, following the SAHD principles,  being chaperoned around the opposite sex and not focusing on wanting a relationship with someone but instead relying on "God" (really, Dad), to drop a mate at one's feet, doesn't typically work. That's why there are many fundies who follow this lifestyle who are rapidly reaching their thirties and forties without a marriage, while they are "safe at home". 
Of course it may not seem that hard for them to find a mate when we see multiple Duggars and Bateses getting married. But they are Fundie Royalty and are coveted for the most part in their circles. And typically those who are getting married are outgoing and very attractive. 
Jana is quite pretty. But she's also extremely shy. This lifestyle is the worst for single shy people. There's little that can be seen in the limited glimpses of her that an eligible man might have at some fundie event, that might spark interest because she's so quiet and reserved. 
Oh I don't think Jana's status is due to any "choices" she has made. It's a fallacy that the female members of their sect have any kind of real autonomy. For Jana and for all women in their culture, marriage and children is the ONLY way a woman can achieve status and respect. 
I see in Jana's face, her expressions and "countenance" and her sisters' attitude around her when they are discussing their relationships and futures on camera, evidence of deep anguish and desperation. 
I don't think she's one bit happy, content, etc. I think she has tearful, confessional conversations with her parents who "encourage" her to serve The Lord and her father with sweet patience and not to dwell on her lack of a potential mate. 
And I think she has tried wholeheartedly to live up to the bizarre ideals of her sect and to be a great SAHD, faithfully waiting and earnestly praying in the hopes that God will reward her. 
But as the years tick inexorably forward and she sees more and more of her younger sisters marry, her quiet desperation grows more intense. 
She seems to me to be suffering quite a bit. I feel very sorry for her. 

[Fun Undies]

My counter (not that I necessarily hold this opinion myself), but could some of Jana's pained expressions/not happy be that she doesn't want to get married?  And the realization that she's "going to have to" soon??  I mean, if we flip it to not wanting to be married, then some of those talking heads of her looking awkward/pained could be because she doesn't know how to tell anyone the "truth".  Her very specific conditions of a potential mate could be a reflection of her rehearsing what she thinks others want to hear.  Her parents "encouraging" her to not to dwell on a potential mate, could just easily because she's mentioned she's not interested, and they try to downplay it as her Christian virtue or something, keeping sweet till the One God Has For You makes an appearance.

Okay, I don't necessarily even agree that that's what's going on, but just trying to throw it out there as a possibility (because really, who knows??)

Some reasons she might not want to get married:
- she's just not interested
- She could be traumatized from the Josh scandals (NOT saying she's a victim, but just being the oldest daughter, having to deal with the psychological fallout of younger sisters being sexually abused, and a potential friend, is traumatizing in and of itself).  Thus her idea of a healthy sexual identity could be completely warped (Jim Bob and Michelle's general mockery of "love expressions" surely only adds to this).

- it's a way to control how many children she has of her own down the road and/or stick around for the other kids
 

But again, who knows??