Lori Alexander 10: Fickle Brained Woman (and she would know)

[Rubaiyat]

54 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

Well, I guess all of my paltry paychecks minus the cost of groceries goes to "luxuries" meant for me alone. Because all I pay for out of my earnings are groceries and my own stuff. 

Of course, by "luxuries", I mean medication, tampons, shampoo, deodorant...I think you all get the picture. 

 

Now, see!  If you'd just stay home and knocked up - as is properly ChristLori-like - you wouldn't need to spend money on such unnecessary frivolities!  

[feministxtian]

We're doing the one income thing...and if it wasn't for various welfare programs we'd be screwed. Hubby starts classes Monday for Phlebotomy Tech and I'm wading through a variety of IT certifications.

[louisa05]

19 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

We're doing the one income thing...and if it wasn't for various welfare programs we'd be screwed. Hubby starts classes Monday for Phlebotomy Tech and I'm wading through a variety of IT certifications.

We've been at about one and a quarter for several years now, a little more in the last year. Caregiving meant just subbing a few days a month for a total income of less than $500 a month for me. Since my dad died and my obligations to care for parents lessened and became much more flexible, I got two, sometimes three days a week last school year and things were quite a bit better. But we are still living on a shoestring. And we have no kids to support. We'd be doing terrible if it were more than two of us and a small rabbit. I'm not sure we could even afford a medium sized dog. 

[feministxtian]

we have 2 cats. If it wasn't for the veteran's section 8 program, we'd be screwed. 

[lilwriter85]

On 8/13/2016 at 9:14 PM, Emilycharlotte said:

Yes, you're right.  And I sincerely hope that woman and her family don't go without medical care or decent food in order to make the one-income thing work.  That's one of the dangers of Lori's "message."  And the gall it takes for someone who has never experienced financial insecurity or had to do without (second-hand Mercedes and reupholstering instead of buying new don't qualify) to try to make women whose families are truly struggling feel guilty and like they are terrible Christians if they get a job...I can't wrap my head around it. 

 

That's what annoys me about Lori pushing the whole "women should be at home message". Lori has privileges that some fundie bloggers don't have. Lori has talked about how she and Ken lived in a trailer park and received help from her parents in their early years of their marriage. There's nothing wrong with that because many people do get helping when they are starting out. Not everyone has relatives that they can turn to or relatives/parents that are willing to help.

Lori and Ken didn't have a huge family. Four kids isn't a small family but Lori has very little in common with larger fundie families. She doesn't realize that if she had more than four kids, things would have been harder to live on one income.  Lori has never to depend on clothing donations from churches or people in her nearby community like some fundie families(e.g. Bates/Duggars in the past).

[Gemini]

14 hours ago, ViolaSebastian said:

Oh, Lori. Bless your pea pickin' heart. You're not familiar with Dorothy Parker, are you?

 

The beauty is, there are so many Dorothy Parker quotes that can be applied perfectly to Lori, 

'Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.'

And Lori's blog, 

"This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it."

Oh Lori, it's sad when this quote would be an improvement to your way of thinking 

"She realizes she doesn't know as much as God but feels she knows as much as God knew when he was her age."

[polecat]

Hoping I did this right ... 

Is she really trying to characterize her home as peaceful and cheerful? 

I'd have called it malevolent.

[smittykins]

"Rythmns"?

I'll be the first to admit I often have trouble with that word, but...

[2xx1xy1JD]

On 13/08/2016 at 0:35 PM, lilwriter85 said:

Lori's guest blogger today is Anna T on the subject of living on one income. Anna T has made a lot of dumb postings in the past on living one income. I think she was the blogger that claimed that if women stayed home there would be more jobs for men.  Anna T and Lori will never get that some families can't make on one income without constant worrying.

 

 

Here's the thing about Anna T - Lori took a post of hers from 2010!  Anna T is still blogging, but her views on some issues have changed.  Now that she actually has children, she has become less certain that some things are right for everyone on the planet, and less self-righteous.  She used to post all about the evils of feminism and how she couldn't wait to get married, have babies and stay home.  Then, she discovered that caring for kids is actually hard work, and she seemed to struggle with exhaustion.  She also struggled with secondary infertility, in a community where large families are the norm.  Her current posts tend to focus on her kids, tips for simple frugal living and talking about some of their animals.

[desertvixen]

@2xx1xy1JD, I thought that was the Anna T. we used to follow, the one who was always tired.

[lilwriter85]

I wonder if Lori's former nanny knows about her blog.  She is also subtly slamming single parents in this blog posting.

 

Quote

 

Can daycare, nannies, or the public school system produce happy, hard-working, stable, courageous, and God-fearing Children? No. It is only parents who are committed to each other and to the Lord who can produce children with all of these qualities.

 

How do you produce happy children? Be happy and chose joy. Don’t live in fear but find your joy in the strength of the Lord. Love your husband deeply and laugh with him. Stop trying to control him in any way and let go. Laugh with your children. Let them see that being a Christian is the best, most happy place to be. 

 

What about hard-working children? Work hard! Don’t allow your home to be a pigsty. Keep your home clean and tidy and teach them to help you. Don’t allow laziness and the pursuit of pleasure to define your life. If they are modeled hard-working parents and taught to work hard, they will most likely grow up to be hard-workers.

 

How do you make sure your children grow up to be stable? Stay home with them full time beginning when they are born. Be there for them and care for them. A mother is the best person to nurture her own children. The best way to produce stable children is by making sure they find security and comfort with you.

 

How are children taught to be courageous? By being taught the Word from the time they are young. Teach them about Jesus, His life, death and resurrection. Teach them who they are in Christ, that He is Sovereign over all, and always in control. They have nothing to fear since God is on their side and working in and through them. Make sure they know how it all ends so they can rest assured of their future with Him.

 

The way to have God-fearing children is to discipline them properly. Make sure they learn to obey you the first time you tell them to do something. As they learn to obey and respect you, they will grow up to obey and respect the Lord knowing He disciplines those He loves.

 

If you are a widow or have been abandoned by your husband for some reason, please don’t despair. The Lord takes care of the widows and fatherless. I have several friends who were widowed when their children were very young and all of their children have grown up to be happy, hard-working, stable, courageous, and God-fearing adults. Continue to be a godly mother who disciplines, trains, and teaches your children the Word. Pray for godly men to be in their lives. Then there is a good probability they will grow up to walk with Jesus and be godly.

 

 

[Koala]

Lori:

Quote

Can daycare, nannies, or the public school system produce happy, hard-working, stable, courageous, and God-fearing Children? No. It is only parents who are committed to each other and to the Lord who can produce children with all of these qualities.

Actually, there is no Biblical basis whatsoever for Lori's premise.  Even by Ken & Lori's own belief system, this assertion totally removes the possibility for the grace of God to work. 

This post is another of Lori's attempts to say anything necessary to solidify her message.

Lori used a nanny.  The nanny held her child for hours a day when Lori would have been content to leave her to cry.  Lori used public school.  Lori used private Christian school. Lori's marriage (by her own definition) was "lousy" when her children were growing up. Ken considered it nothing more than a partnership.  He said, 

Quote

I lived much like an island in my own home hoping not to make her upset, see her frown, or cause an argument. 

Yet in spite of all of this Lori raves about her mad parenting skills and frequently brags that her children all "walk with Jesus".  So which is it??

[polecat]

Oh, yay, time for another spin on the Lori-to-English translator.

What Lori Says:

Quote

How do you produce happy children? Be happy and chose joy. Don’t live in fear but find your joy in the strength of the Lord. Love your husband deeply and laugh with him. Stop trying to control him in any way and let go. Laugh with your children. Let them see that being a Christian is the best, most happy place to be. 

 

What Lori Means:

Control the hell out of your husband. When controlling doesn't work, go behind his back and start manipulating the hell out of him. Laugh AT your kids while they're getting punished.

What Lori Says:

Quote

What about hard-working children? Work hard! Don’t allow your home to be a pigsty. Keep your home clean and tidy and teach them to help you. Don’t allow laziness and the pursuit of pleasure to define your life. If they are modeled hard-working parents and taught to work hard, they will most likely grow up to be hard-workers.

 

What Lori Means:

Get a housekeeper. Pay her to clean your house so that you can have your quiet time every day. Send her to your neighbor's house so that you can sit around and gossip later. Send your kids to their room at least two hours a day. This keeps them out of your hair AND makes you look super godly (or something.

What Lori Says:

Quote

How do you make sure your children grow up to be stable? Stay home with them full time beginning when they are born. Be there for them and care for them. A mother is the best person to nurture her own children. The best way to produce stable children is by making sure they find security and comfort with you.

 

What Lori Means:

Sabotage your birth control, get pregnant against your husband's wishes, and then stay home even though it's not good for the family's finances because it's what YOU want to do. Then, wheedle a nanny out of your husband because you don't want to take care of the kids anyway. Let the nanny comfort your crying babies for yours because they're just annoying and you'll just flick them in the face anyway.

What Lori Says:

Quote

The way to have God-fearing children is to discipline them properly. Make sure they learn to obey you the first time you tell them to do something. As they learn to obey and respect you, they will grow up to obey and respect the Lord knowing He disciplines those He loves.

 

What Lori Means:

Beat your toddler for hours over spilled RAISANS. Point out what might be an extra five pounds on your adolescent daughter's frame and keep pointing it out until she is borderline eating disordered. Make your sons keep playing sports even with injuries. Break them until they no longer have a will of their own. *dust hands together* Done! Disciplined children! Voila!

[louisa05]

So kids can't be hard working unless they are homeschooled by a SAHM? Really? Because in my 16 years of teaching high school, I saw some extremely hard working kids who went to actual schools and had mothers who worked. 

I had a girl my last year of teaching who was a starter on the volleyball team (a time commitment of 50 hours a week --she kept track her senior year), played basketball, ran track, had a part time job, and graduated second in her class with a 3.9 gpa. She just finished a master's degree in nutrition--which she did in 2.5 years while working-- to continue her career as dietician and did it as a single mom with no help from her parents or her child's father. 

Go ahead and explain to me how that young woman is not hard working, Lori. 

[Free Jana Duggar]

Oh my!    https://talesfrommyhearttoyours.wordpress.com/2016/08/15/my-response-to-lori/

 

[smittykins]

If you are a widow or have been abandoned by your husband for some reason, please don’t despair. The Lord takes care of the widows and fatherless. I have several friends who were widowed when their children were very young and all of their children have grown up to be happy, hard-working, stable, courageous, and God-fearing adults. Continue to be a godly mother who disciplines, trains, and teaches your children the Word. Pray for godly men to be in their lives. Then there is a good probability they will grow up to walk with Jesus and be godly.

Notice how she doesn't say how you're supposed to pay the bills in this situation without working(besides "The Lord will take care of you").

 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

This is a sincere question for my fellow FJ-ers, especially if you grew up fundie or had close contact with those who did.   

Lori and her fundie guest bloggers go on and on and on about being completely debt free on 1 income, ideally from the start of the marriage,  But they never give advice on how.  How does a couple start out completely debt free from Day 1?

Do they mean debt free except for rent/ mortgage and utilities?  Do they assume that the couple both worked and saved every dime for years and years before getting married and then bought the house for cash and the wife quit work? 

Where do these people live that they can save enough to buy a house for cash that isn't a complete wreck/ former crack house?  And if the house is a wreck even DIY renovations, especially for a wrecked house, cost money, assuming the couple are good at DIY.  Do they assume that the couple will live in this wreck of a house doing a little at a time over years and years? 

Or if the couple marries without having mega savings is the assumption they will live rent free with parents until they do have enough savings?

And even if the woman doesn't have school debt (because women don't need education and can just be at home waiting for Mr Godly Right) the guy usually does. So do fundies expect people to pay off school debt prior to marrying? 

Or do fundies have parents that gift them with a generous mortgage down payment (or house), a house full of furniture, and a completely paid for college education so there is no debt?

I'm all for not accumulating credit-card debt if one can help it, but sometimes it's unavoidable; same with mortgage debt.

And do fundies understand about taking things off their taxes -- like mortgage interest for example or business expenses since so many of them seems self -employed?  Or is that just bad, bad, very bad and an ebil gubmint plot and not godly at all?

 

 

[Koala]

From FB:

Quote

I think you had a nanny? Do as I say, not as I do?

Better break out the delete finger Lori.  Can't have the sheeple thinking The Godly Mentor relied on a nanny to hold her child for "hours a day".

 

[Pammy]

1 hour ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

This is a sincere question for my fellow FJ-ers, especially if you grew up fundie or had close contact with those who did.   

Lori and her fundie guest bloggers go on and on and on about being completely debt free on 1 income, ideally from the start of the marriage,  But they never give advice on how.  How does a couple start out completely debt free from Day 1?

Do they mean debt free except for rent/ mortgage and utilities?  Do they assume that the couple both worked and saved every dime for years and years before getting married and then bought the house for cash and the wife quit work? 

Where do these people live that they can save enough to buy a house for cash that isn't a complete wreck/ former crack house?  And if the house is a wreck even DIY renovations, especially for a wrecked house, cost money, assuming the couple are good at DIY.  Do they assume that the couple will live in this wreck of a house doing a little at a time over years and years? 

Or if the couple marries without having mega savings is the assumption they will live rent free with parents until they do have enough savings?

And even if the woman doesn't have school debt (because women don't need education and can just be at home waiting for Mr Godly Right) the guy usually does. So do fundies expect people to pay off school debt prior to marrying? 

Or do fundies have parents that gift them with a generous mortgage down payment (or house), a house full of furniture, and a completely paid for college education so there is no debt?

I'm all for not accumulating credit-card debt if one can help it, but sometimes it's unavoidable; same with mortgage debt.

And do fundies understand about taking things off their taxes -- like mortgage interest for example or business expenses since so many of them seems self -employed?  Or is that just bad, bad, very bad and an ebil gubmint plot and not godly at all?

 

 

I haven't met anyone before you that considers rent, utilities or other bills a "debt" -- nothing is borrowed, you just happen to be buying the same things repeatedly on a monthly basis. They might be an obligation, but they are not created by borrowing money and needing to repay it.

In some circles "debt free" can mean "except for the mortgage of course" -- but otherwise it just means that they are ordinary rent-paying non-homeowners who didn't borrow for a decent education, and manage to buy, grift, or inherit a starter vehicle and various home furnishings.

[cindyluvs24]

Off Topic but I'm surprised Lori hasn't written about our Olympic athletes.  Loads of fodder here:  muscular females, sparkly immodest leotards, etc.

 

(Shout out to Central NJ:  Laurie Hernandez from Old Bridge and a track runner -whose name I didn't catch- from Somerset)

[Sera's Arrow]

Lori is profoundly limited in her life experiences (EX: I, for one, doubt that she has set a single toenail in a daycare and has no idea what they do or don't do) and thus her nattering becomes painfully boring after a while.

I spent a year of reading her sodding gibberjabber (archives and current) and I have come to the conclusion that she is as predictable and repetitive as techno music. Unlike techno music, she fails to entertain or inspire. Sandstorm still does it for me when it pops up on my cardio playlist, FFS.

[Koala]

She deleted the nanny comment.  It's not fair to point out that she had a nanny when she's trying to tell people how ungodly nannies are.  

[desertvixen]

I too have a response for Lori: Fuck off.

From a single mom.

I think I would have seriously lost it if I had HAD to stay home.  I enjoyed my 10 weeks of maternity leave, but I will say, I was happy to get back to work where at least if people wanted to make unreasonable demands, they had to use words to do so.  And address me by name, rather than Mommy.  (This may have been related to the fact that my ex was gone from the time she was 2 weeks old until about 4 months for a military school.)

I am looking forward to the idea that military maternity leave has been increased from 6 to 12 weeks, though.  If I ever get to try it again...

[Granwych]

12 hours ago, Koala said:

Yet in spite of all of this Lori raves about her mad parenting skills and frequently brags that her children all "walk with Jesus".  So which is it??

If she repeats this drivel enough, she hopes people will believe it.

[AmazonGrace]

17 hours ago, louisa05 said:

So kids can't be hard working unless they are homeschooled by a SAHM? Really? Because in my 16 years of teaching high school, I saw some extremely hard working kids who went to actual schools and had mothers who worked. 

I had a girl my last year of teaching who was a starter on the volleyball team (a time commitment of 50 hours a week --she kept track her senior year), played basketball, ran track, had a part time job, and graduated second in her class with a 3.9 gpa. She just finished a master's degree in nutrition--which she did in 2.5 years while working-- to continue her career as dietician and did it as a single mom with no help from her parents or her child's father. 

Go ahead and explain to me how that young woman is not hard working, Lori. 

Not Lori but I can explain: It doesn't count because she works hard at all the wrong things: career,   sports,  education...all things that take her away from her rightful place between the stove and the lube.