Lori Alexander 10: Fickle Brained Woman (and she would know)

[Koala]

I've noticed that too.  She never seems to be at the hospital when the babies are born.  I don't know if she just can't be bothered (too busy mentoring the interwebz, you know) or if they don't invite her/ask her not to come.

When Ken was here he mentioned babysitting a couple of the grandkids, but he said he watched them and Lori went to bed.  

She definitely doesn't strike me as the doting grandma type.  I could see her getting really angry if the babies weren't being left to cry all night, or she felt like they weren't being hit enough.  She positively glowed when her son force fed his daughter.

[polecat]

1 hour ago, Koala said:

I've noticed that too.  She never seems to be at the hospital when the babies are born.  I don't know if she just can't be bothered (too busy mentoring the interwebz, you know) or if they don't invite her/ask her not to come.

When Ken was here he mentioned babysitting a couple of the grandkids, but he said he watched them and Lori went to bed.  

She definitely doesn't strike me as the doting grandma type.  I could see her getting really angry if the babies weren't being left to cry all night, or she felt like they weren't being hit enough.  She positively glowed when her son force fed his daughter.

 

And let's not forget her calling her grandson a "stud" once. 

She has serious issues on several levels. I couldn't blame her kids if they limit her contact with their own kids.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

In today's post  Lori asks "Am I a Hypocrite"

She then proceeds to prove she is while excusing herself for being one by saying you don't have to be in complete submission to and respect your husband in order to teach others to do that.  And you don't have to keep your house neat and tidy  at all times in order to teach (berate) others to do so.

So Lori... Why yes. Yes you are a hypocrite.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i

[polecat]

"Keep your house spotless to be a good wife! Granted, I hate vacuuming, so I just bought a carpet that I never vacuum because it doesn't show dirt. Yay me! But you guys, you need to vacuum every day or face the wrath of God LoriGod.

 

"I am SOOOO not a hypocrite!"

Hahahaha. 

 

[AmazonGrace]

Nice quote:

Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God?

Romans 2:3

I think it's all about the phrasing and the level of compassion, and whether your posts are concerned with how you could be better yourself or how others are failing... I don't keep a spotless house but I do think it would be a good thing and have occasionally said so.  Posts saying why a clean house rules and then admitting you're struggling with it sometimes and trying to find solutions would be okay I think. But that's not what Lori is all about, she's more concerned about judging others than improving herself.

A judgy mcjudgerson who says someone is a prostitute for talking loudly damn well needs to be  perfect herself.

[BullyJBG]

2 hours ago, Koala said:

I've noticed that too.  She never seems to be at the hospital when the babies are born.  I don't know if she just can't be bothered (too busy mentoring the interwebz, you know) or if they don't invite her/ask her not to come.

When Ken was here he mentioned babysitting a couple of the grandkids, but he said he watched them and Lori went to bed.  

She definitely doesn't strike me as the doting grandma type.  I could see her getting really angry if the babies weren't being left to cry all night, or she felt like they weren't being hit enough.  She positively glowed when her son force fed his daughter.

She does tend to say how happy she is when her kids follow in her footsteps, or her teaching anyway. And didn't she say she only had to spank them a few times, and then they knew that they needed to obey without question? I imagine there may be some of her kids who may decide that the way they were parented they don't want to repeat, and she probably won't broadcast that.(well, maybe; if she sees them being spoiled or acting entitled; in an "I told you so" type of way) Time will tell. I suspect that, even if she and Ken only gave those few spankings, there may have been times where the kids expressed anger, disappointment or whatever and they then asked "do you want a spanking?" and they'd quickly shut up and repress it.(been there, done that, got that holey t-shirt in my basement) If any of them now feel they can't trust her with their true feelings, that's yet to be known. Poor poor Lori. And poor poor Ken.

[Koala]

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Do I always respect Ken? No

That is a hell of a statement.  Even when I disagree with my husband or get miffed with him, I still respect him.  

 

18 minutes ago, polecat said:

"Keep your house spotless to be a good wife! Granted, I hate vacuuming, so I just bought a carpet that I never vacuum because it doesn't show dirt. Yay me! But you guys, you need to vacuum every day or face the wrath of God LoriGod.

 

"I am SOOOO not a hypocrite!"

Hahahaha. 

 

Or:

-Don't use nannies (even though I did)

-Don't send your kids to a public school (even though I sent one of mine, admitted it, then claimed I would never do such a thing)

-Don't dress immodestly (even though I wear plunging necklines)

-Don't spend lots of money (even though I post about my favorite things and they're all expensive)

-Don't sabotage your birth control so you can quit your job (even tough I did...and it worked  )

Don't eat out (even though I eat out every single weekend and wouldn't dream of missing Thursday Happy Hour)

-Don't gossip (even though that's one of the primary objectives of my blog)

The list is endless.

[AmazonGrace]

7 minutes ago, Koala said:

That is a hell of a statement.  Even when I disagree with my husband or get miffed with him, I still respect him.  

 

Respecting Ken might be more of an effort than respecting your husband...

But I'm thinking that what with the headship thing, disagreeing with Ken and getting miffed with him might be construed as disrespect.

[Hisey]

47 minutes ago, Koala said:

That is a hell of a statement.  Even when I disagree with my husband or get miffed with him, I still respect him.  

 

Or:

-Don't use nannies (even though I did)

-Don't send your kids to a public school (even though I sent one of mine, admitted it, then claimed I would never do such a thing)

-Don't dress immodestly (even though I wear plunging necklines)

-Don't spend lots of money (even though I post about my favorite things and they're all expensive)

-Don't sabotage your birth control so you can quit your job (even tough I did...and it worked  )

Don't eat out (even though I eat out every single weekend and wouldn't dream of missing Thursday Happy Hour)

-Don't gossip (even though that's one of the primary objectives of my blog)

The list is endless.

Actually, she sent all four of her kids to public school K-5, then sent Cassi to public middle school for a short time, and her oldest to public high for a short time. That's a lot of public school for a non-hypocrite who hates public school.

[molecule]

27 minutes ago, Hisey said:

That's a lot of public school for a non-hypocrite who hates public school.

And who says teachers are evil even though she tried to be one a long time ago.

[polecat]

17 hours ago, molecule said:

And who says teachers are evil even though she tried to be one a long time ago.

If she's basing all teachers on the kind of teacher she was, you can kind of see how she came to that conclusion.

[lilwriter85]

21 hours ago, Hisey said:

Actually, she sent all four of her kids to public school K-5, then sent Cassi to public middle school for a short time, and her oldest to public high for a short time. That's a lot of public school for a non-hypocrite who hates public school.

I think it could have been a situation, in which Lori wanted the kids in private Christian schools from the start. But didn't Ken didn't want to pay tuition costs for 12 years for all four kids. 

[molecule]

Although Lori says she doesn't mind being criticized because she is doing what God has commanded her to do, she has another post up today defending herself against criticism. Today she says:

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In the same way, I get scolded by Christians for teaching women to be submissive to their husbands and that mothers should be home full time caring for their children. People have called me harsh and unloving for doing this but nothing is better for civilization then God's ways.  

Here's what she doesn't get: it isn't just about what she teaches but about how she does it with so little love or compassion. Although I disagree with her on what submission means in marriage, I do understand her point of view. I see plenty of other Christian women writing about submission. But Lori is the one who does it with so much judgment and condemnation of others. She is the one who spews hate rather than love and kindness.

[Hisey]

21 minutes ago, molecule said:

Although Lori says she doesn't mind being criticized because she is doing what God has commanded her to do, she has another post up today defending herself against criticism. Today she says:

Here's what she doesn't get: it isn't just about what she teaches but about how she does it with so little love or compassion. Although I disagree with her on what submission means in marriage, I do understand her point of view. I see plenty of other Christian women writing about submission. But Lori is the one who does it with so much judgment and condemnation of others. She is the one who spews hate rather than love and kindness.

She thinks all women are like her, and she doesn't like herself very much. 

She always starts at the premise that "most women" want to control, want their own way, throw tantrums, etc. That's because she did those things. So her fiery condemnation is really against herself.

Don't know about you, but "most women" i know actually give TOO much. They want to please. They worry about others' needs and forget about their own. That's where they get into trouble. They put up with too much from bad husbands, or just thoughtless ones. Instead of taking too much "me" time, they foolishly give up their "me time" to attend another soccer game or clean the kitchen.

I don't think Lori is writing to most women, she is writing to herself, and that's why she gets a lot of condemnation from other Christian women. 

[Roux]

On 8/8/2016 at 0:15 PM, AmazonGrace said:

Respecting Ken might be more of an effort than respecting your husband...

But I'm thinking that what with the headship thing, disagreeing with Ken and getting miffed with him might be construed as disrespect.

This.  The typical fundie woman probably doesn't differentiate between disagreeing/disrespecting in the patriarchal setting.  You submit and agree with all your husband's choices.  If he's wrong, God will sort it out.

[Florita]

From the comments August 6th:

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Hi Lori! How does Melissa know that you have that kind of car? That's random. Maybe it was mentioned in an old post?

There was a whole post dedicated to the Mercedes, with picture, on February 1, 2012 http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2012/02/my-gold-mercedes.html

And it was mentioned again May 17, 2014

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We own a 1984 diesel Mercedes. It isn't used much since both Ken and I are home most of the time but it is nice to have around for out-of-town guests or if we need a second car for something. The insurance is cheap and it just runs and runs and runs with very little maintenance. It has over 300,000 miles in it without ever needing a new engine and it still purrs like a kitten!

And again April 27, 2015

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We sure do, Diane. Our old Mercedes is close to 300,000 and still purrs like a kitten! I dislike waste and wasting things. I too like to use things until they are truly broken, beyond repair.

And Again July 16, 2015

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When our children were 16 years old, they drove an old 1984 diesel Mercedes {that went from 0 to 45 in 15 minutes flat!} to school while other children were getting new cars for their birthday.

And Again October 15, 2015

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Outside in front of our home sits a 1984 diesel Mercedes. We don't drive it much since neither of us drive much any ways. Ken uses it to park at the airports on trips and our children will use it when they need it.

Notice she never discuss the other cars they own. Hmmm?

Lori doesn’t get that her hand-me-down, high mileage Mercedes does not give her “poverty credibility.” She has never been poor and she will never be poor. She economizes on laundry soap etc. because she wants to, not because she has to.

I think Lori is free to offer advice to people on how to pinch pennies but she needs to do so honestly as someone who hasn’t the faintest idea of what it is like to be flat broke. But of course she won’t admit to that because in Lori’s World driving a used Mercedes is so very frugal. She is oblivious to the fact that some people can’t afford a car, any car, and don’t have parents who can afford to give them one.

Yes, Lori. You are a hypocrite. You are faux poor.

[Imrlgoddess]

4 hours ago, Hisey said:

She thinks all women are like her, and she doesn't like herself very much. 

She always starts at the premise that "most women" want to control, want their own way, throw tantrums, etc. That's because she did those things. So her fiery condemnation is really against herself.

Don't know about you, but "most women" i know actually give TOO much. They want to please. They worry about others' needs and forget about their own. That's where they get into trouble. They put up with too much from bad husbands, or just thoughtless ones. Instead of taking too much "me" time, they foolishly give up their "me time" to attend another soccer game or clean the kitchen.

I don't think Lori is writing to most women, she is writing to herself, and that's why she gets a lot of condemnation from other Christian women. 

This is my sentiment as well!  I think she imposes her own insecurities on all women because she doesn't know how to deal with her own daemons.  As you mention, most women I know go above and beyond, it may not be her definition of submission but it's what works.  Not all men are demanding and pushy and want wives who forget who they are.  I think she's terrified of feminism because it pulls at her and she feels guilty for not respecting her husband and she needs an excuse to stay where she's been told to stay.  Yes life did get easier for her when she "submitted", only because she gave up and the fights stopped.  She transferred the war from outside herself with him to inside herself and now she's projecting that war to the world.  

[Koala]

I thought this was an interesting comment.  A wiser woman might have learned something from it, but this is Lori we're talking about:

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I have the same concerns as Happy Wifey. I personally believe that a woman is to be a keeper of the home, that her focus and her ministry should be her husband and children. However, I have the benefit of having a husband who believes the same. I don't see in Scripture that the keeper of the home mandate changes within a woman's lifetime to be outwardly focused. So, with the Titus 2 mandate to older women to teach the younger, it seems to me that those younger women should be the ones that are in the older women's home. (their daughters, granddaughters etc.) I don't see Scriptural justification for me to tell/teach women what is best for their families-especially in areas that are not sin areas. For example-the Bible does not forbid a woman to work outside the home, it does not forbid a family from sending their children to public school etc. If I use my personal interpretations on those areas that are not specifically addressed, I run the risk of planting seeds of doubt and resentment between a young woman and her husband. If her husband has decided he wants his wife to work and send their children to school, what business is it of mine to go start telling that young woman what she should be doing? or causing her to believe her husband is wrong? I have seen very specific examples of this happening within the church. Women who consider themselves to be Titus 2 women, going from family to family, inserting themselves in the name of teaching and causing strife between happily married, God-loving couples. These sorts of concerns kind of go along with some of the posts you've done in the past on women teachers etc. Maybe my view of Titus 2 is too narrow-maybe you could do a future post outlining the scriptures and your interpretations of them that you feel point towards older women focusing their teaching on young women outside the direct responsibility of those within their own homes/families?

Lori of course, was having no part of it.    If she accepted this premise, then what would be the purpose of her blog?  Even worse, it'd mean that instead of gossiping about some else's daughter, she'd have to confront her own.  

They'd (from the looks of it) tell her to mind her own business, and then what???  Who would she control?  What would she do if she couldn't go from "house to house" putting her 2 cents in?  Being a Godly Mentor is no fun when you can't be internet famous for it.  You just end up with a bunch of pissed off relatives and a lot of time for self reflection.

Lori:

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There is nothing in the Word that defines who these younger women are to be, except believers. Therefore, older women should be teaching younger women whatever vehicle they have to teach them since many are either hungry for it or need it and few older women have the time or want to teach younger women. I teach women that children need their mothers home full time and many women have told me they simply gave it to the Lord, make a respectful appeal to their husbands, and were eventually able to come home. I teach enough submitting to, obeying, pleasing, and respecting husbands that women know this is a priority and if they know they should be home full time, they cast their cares upon the Lord.

Right Lori, but the BIBLE teaches about busybodies who go from house to house saying what they should not.  The BIBLE teaches about loving your neighbor as yourself.  The Bible teaches that you shouldn't be a giant gossip/busybody who uses your blog as a tool to shame other women and elevate yourself.  So there's that.

[Koala]

*sigh*

Lori

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Women who have careers waste money. Many of them have to buy expensive clothing. They have to own their own car and spend money on the gas to get to and from work. They have to spend more money on food since they don't have the time to find the best quality food for less money and fix it from scratch. In fact, many times they have to buy take out food since they are too exhausted to cook when they get home. Then there is the money they have to spend for daycare. The list could go on and on about how much more money it takes to have a career than to stay home full-time and learn to save money instead of spend it.

You know, this is so ridiculously dumb, I can't help but wonder if she even believes it.

Is it possible that she isn't even aware that each person has a unique situation?

My mom worked.  Her lunches out consisted of a bologna sandwich from home. Her dinner usually consisted of the same, plus Doritos and Dr. Pepper.  I grew up thinking it was her favorite meal.  Of course now I know that it was the only meal she could afford.  My grandparents fed me 3 meals a day and provided free childcare  

Her idea of fancy work clothes was wearing something until it absolutely fell apart.  One of my childhood memories is of the day a shirt she absolutely loved went on clearance.  She bought it for a few dollars.  I couldn't have been more than 5 or 6, but I remember being so excited.  My mama had never bought herself anything that I knew of.  There's a picture of her in it- she looked like an angel.  It's my favorite one of her.  30 years later that shirt still hangs in her closet.  I can't bear to see it trashed.  

I am so thankful my mother worked.  We had these people from the travel agency mortgage company who harassed us on a monthly basis.  Had she not worked, she wouldn't have been able to pay them and we wouldn't have been able to go on vacation would have been on the streets.

My mother finally made it.  She is the head of her company's human resources department now.  She worked her ass off, and to hear a spoiled rotten woman whining on the internet about the evils of women working is an absolute slap in the face to her and women like her.

Lori, I would take my mom any day over you.  

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When a woman works outside of the home, she has no time to garden, hang up clothing outside to dry, make her own non-toxic cleaners, clean her windows and home, find the best prices, go to garage sales, nurse her baby full-time, use cloth diapers, learn to sew, cut and color hair, and a multitude of other things full-time wives and mothers are able to do. 

My husband's grandmother worked outside the home back in the 40s.  It seems her husband had left her with 2 small children to feed.  

She kept a garden because her children had a pesky habit of eating.  She hung her clothes out to dry because that was the only option she had.  She made her own cleaners and kept a spotless house.  She would have thought you Lori, were a spoiled princess for spending money on a bottle of dye for your hair...such luxuries weren't even imaginable to her. Her idea of luxury was throwing away foil that had only been reused a couple of times.  She even washed out ziplock bags so they wouldn't go to waste.

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It is much less money to encourage mothers to learn to live within the money their husband makes and live frugally

Which is nice for the ones who have a husband.  And not only a husband, but a husband who makes enough to keep food on the table and a roof over their heads.

She makes me sick.  She has no clue what it's like to have needs go unmet.  She has no clue what it's like to have to lie awake at night and worry about which bill to pay, or how to buy a 7 days worth of groceries with less than she spends on her stupid hair dye.

Just ignorant.  Pure ignorant.

[Koala]

Reader:

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Don't forget about having to hire a cleaning company to keep the home tidy! My friend who works full time just had to do this...she said with her long hours away from home she simply could not keep up with the housework any longer. I'm not sure what that would cost, but I'm guessing 100.00 a session at once a week would add up to 400.00 a month, maybe more depending on the home and the area where one lives.

You could ask Lori how much it costs. She stayed home, had someone clean her house, AND watch her children.  

[molecule]

I was thinking about how much Lori would benefit from a Freaky Friday kind of switch with a woman who has to work.

When my kids were little, I worked--but it was a job that I could partly do from home. I used cloth diapers, hung our laundry out on the line, cooked three meals a day from scratch, made my own baby food, and gardened. 

Lori doesn't have an ounce of Christian love in her bones. Did she even read what she wrote in her reply to a comment about being critical?

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The Bible doesn't say to only exhort those who you have invested time and care into their relationships but I don't believe people should go around rebuking people all the time. I heard a wise man say if you are rebuking people more than once every other month, you're doing it too much since it can come across as simply being critical. God does command older women to teach the younger women but in my life, I mostly wait for the younger women to come to me who want to learn from me. I don't intend to force my opinions on others but I sure try to hint to young women in my life that I meet, acquaintances, and friends. I will try to do it in a subtle way as not to offend. 

Does she know what the parts I bolded actually mean? 

She always reminds me of Miss Prissy in the Foghorn Leghorn cartoons.

 

[Imrlgoddess]

@Koala Your mom and mine seem to have been cut from the same cloth.  My father was completely disabled before he was 50, my mom was still in her 30's with a youngster and a toddler.  She went to work all day at the local school as a teachers aide.  Came home every night to make dinner-we lived way out in the country so there was no "pick it up on the way home".  She ironed his shirts every single Wednesday night, had dinner on the table by 5:30pm, and woke up every morning 12 hours later to make breakfast-biscuits, eggs, grits:  real food.  She/we washed clothes and hung them on a line.  Shopping was never a hobby and we had one vehicle my entire childhood.  They raised us on a fraction of what people these days make and we had everything we needed.  Lori can suck it.  She has no grasp of reality and sits very high upon her throne in her gilded cage.  

[wikinggirl]

Seriously Lori, just shut up. Todays post just made me angry. 

She has no idea what she's talking about. Some people, most people have to work.

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Women who have careers waste money. Many of them have to buy expensive clothing. They have to own their own car and spend money on the gas to get to and from work. They have to spend more money on food since they don't have the time to find the best quality food for less money and fix it from scratch. In fact, many times they have to buy take out food since they are too exhausted to cook when they get home.

I just can't with her. Just because you have a career doesn't mean you waste money! If I didn't work I wouldn't have any money. But in Lori's world I probably just have to find myself a man, right? 

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here is no time to fix scrambled eggs with onions, peppers, and a bit of cheese with some homemade bread in the morning, along with a fresh picked orange from the tree in your yard for her family to enjoy. No, she had to eat expensive cereal out of a box which is devoid of any healthy vitamins and minerals. For lunch, instead of fixing a large salad with roasted chicken, avocado, and homemade salad dressing, she had to run across the street to a fast food joint which isn't really food since it does nothing to nourish her body. 

You know, Lori, it is actually possible to make an omelette in the morning before work, and to pack a lunch. Everything isn't all black and white. A career doesn't mean expensive clothes and fast food everyday. 

 

 

[SparkleMomma]

Hmmm I'm a SAHM and I don't do half the things on Lori's list of things that a woman can accomplish when she stays at home. No garden, my clothes dry in the dryer, we eat out probably more than we should. Wonder what she'd say to me? I'm also the daughter of a working mom who cooked every single morning and night and always made our lunches. Her house is immaculate and she was quite savvy with money. Oh and there's that whole paycheck thing to counter any extra expenses. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

I usually think Lori is somewhat obtuse. mostly clueless, and lacking in reading comprehension, but this statement about breakfast damn near made my head explode -- "with a fresh picked orange from the tree in your yard"

Dammit Lori -- privilege much!  Don't you know -- you idiot -- that the majority of the country lives a in a climate in which oranges Do. Not. Grow. In. The. Yard.  Not everyone lives in sunny CA, or TX, or FL or Louisiana --places where oranges grow.  And even then not everyone who lives in those states has an orange tree in their back yard -- or even has a back yard!!

Lori you smug, hypocritical, privileged, hateful, mean-spirited, snobby,  beyotch.  How dare you presume to judge career women or any women.  You -- who had a nanny, a house cleaner you loaned to your neighbor, 2 cars -- one of them a vintage Mercedes, goes out to breakfast every Sat morning, and has a husband who makes bank and always has.  NONE of this info is made up.  ALL of it comes from your blog

How dare you assume that career women or any women are wasteful and bad wives and mothers who neglect their children and disrespect their husbands. 

How dare you even presume to open your mouth to criticize anyone  -- ever. You are NOT a godly mentor or your wouldn't say the smug, hypocritical, privileged, hateful, mean-spirited, snobby,  beyotch-y things you do.

Lori/ Ken if you are reading here -- and we know you do -- Take heed of this post.  I'm not an outlier, or a lone voice.  I'm the majority., finally voicing what we think of you.  And like Auntie Em  to Elvira Gultch in "Wizard of Oz"  I'm a Christian woman and can't say what I really think of you. Thankfully not **your** kind of Christian