Lori Alexander 10: Fickle Brained Woman (and she would know)

[ViolaSebastian]

38 minutes ago, lawfulevil said:

I wouldn't eat a Big Salad Lori made. You just know she made it in ten minutes or less, and the dressing... probably healthy healthy lube coconut oil.

She once said she uses it on her yams. Lord, I only hope she has two separate jars. 

[Granwych]

3 hours ago, ViolaSebastian said:

She once said she uses it on her yams. Lord, I only hope she has two separate jars. 

Yup, one jar will be of the "extra virgin" quality...that's Lori, our very own LFC--Lori's Fried Church.

[Koala]

I may have cried a little when I read this comment by The Godly Mentor:

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I wish I had a mentor like me when I was raising children too, Nancy!

Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble, when you're perfect in every way....

[TeddyBonkers]

My mom would be mortified if I wrote something like that. Of course, she would also die of shame if I described my sex life on the interwebs as being  nothing more than 10 minutes and lube. 

[Koala]

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Many disdain the idea of obeying their husband. They may think it resembles a child-parent or a slave-master relationship instead of a marriage. Many have accused me that this teaching leads women to being abused! 

Well, let's see:

Husband makes the rules and decisions.  Wife follows the rules / abides by the decisions. If the wife doesn't follow the rules, Ken enforces "consequences" (and encourages other husbands to do the same).

This is the guy who likes Lori (a grandmother in her late fifties) to whisper in his ear that she's been a "naughty girl".

Ken also recommends using physical restraint, and both he and Lori practically glowed over the man who picked his wife up and tossed her out into the snow in her nightgown.

Yeah- nothing could go wrong with a plan like that.

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What if you have friends who despise the idea of obeying their husbands? What should you say to them to convince them that this is indeed how they are supposed to be with their husbands? 

You should stop meddling in your friend's business, because the Jesus doesn't like busybodies.  (Did I get it right, Lori?)

 

[Phoebe]

On 8/23/2016 at 3:20 PM, Koala said:

Reader:

Ken (who is NOT Lori) wastes no time in demonstrating that he is absolutely full of crap.

Does he tell her that she and her husband should discuss the matter like two adults, and come to an agreement on what in appropriate for their son?

Nope.  Not a chance:

Summary?

1) Don't discuss the issue with your husband until your child has seen something so grievous that a confrontation can no longer be avoided.  (You'll be totally calm, cool, and collected once that happens, which should make for a great discussion. ) 

Then you may confront him, as you'll have something to hold over his head. Being passive aggressive is one of the keys to a happy marriage.

2)  The husband must get his way no matter what because Bible.  If the husband doesn't get his way, the wife will ALWAYS get her way...like Lori.  Because all husbands are 5 year olds who can't cope if they don't get exactly what they want, and all wives are shrews who always demand to have things their own way.
 

Husband wanting his way= Biblical

Wife wanting her way= rebellion which should be disciplined.

Great job Ken. Excellent advice. 

UGH. Nailed it!

In my first marriage,  I worked hard at submitting to my husband's wishes regarding how our marriage should operate and how my husband wanted our household to run.  I wanted to do things "the right way" and to make him happy.

First, he told me that I needed to keep the house clean and tidy, so when he came home from work he could relax.  I was happy to do so.

Then, he told me that I needed to get a job, because I was "doing nothing" at home and needed to supplement our income since the house was being kept clean and therefore I had "nothing to do."  I could see the logic in that, so I did so.

Then he decided that while I wanted to go to college, it made more sense for him to do so since he was older and it would maximize the number of years he would be making more money in his chosen career.  Well, that made sense, so okay, that's what we would do.  He would work, I would work, he'd get through school, and I'd still keep the home.

Then when college classes became more difficult, he quit his job so he could focus on his education while I supported us both, kept the home, and helped him with his assignments (my husband would often tell me how much smarter I am than he is). Well, okay, I wasn't happy about that, but I could see he was struggling in some of his classes, so I could deal with the situation for a while.

After he graduated, he had difficulty finding work, so he asked me to make sure I worked full-time and encouraged me to get a second job since we were struggling with bills.  Oh, and I still needed to keep the house up because housework is the natural sphere of women. And I really should learn to garden so we could grow some of our own food and reduce our grocery bills.  Looking for work would be his main priority.  I wanted him to get a job in his chosen career field as soon as possible, so I complied.

Once he got a job, he asked me to keep on working at both my jobs so we could get caught back up on bills and get some savings built up, but I was really slacking on the housework and should be able to manage my time much better than I'd been doing so that I could ensure the house would remain spotless and why wasn't I using my free time to can vegetables?  He needed to relax after work and couldn't do that in a home that was mildly cluttered.  I was irritated by this, but I was far too exhausted to protest.

For years, my husband ping-ponged between employment and unemployment.  When he was employed, I needed to work two jobs to get us caught up on bills and to replenish our savings.  I also needed to keep the house clean and in good repair, garden, can vegetables, mend my clothing (he needed to buy new clothes to ensure he looked good for work), and take care of our pets. When he was unemployed, I needed to work two jobs to keep our heads above water (he said government assistance would be emasculating) while he looked for work.  Because looking for work was his priority, I also needed to keep the house clean and in good repair, garden, can vegetables, mend my clothing (he needed new clothing to look good for interviews), and take care of our pets.

I nearly had a nervous breakdown after twelve years of this.  I did have a physical breakdown.

In other words, by obeying my husband, I found myself worn down to a shadow of a human being.  In the end, I put myself through nursing school, divorced my husband (who, as it turns out, had multiple affairs because I was working the two jobs he asked me to work and was "never available"), and found myself with time to do the things that enrich my soul -- volunteering, fostering shelter animals, pursuing academic pleasures.  I have used my newfound free time to earn my BSN and an additional board certification as well.  Finally, it took my divorce to feel like a member of the human race again.

Obedience to my husband nearly killed me -- not just physically, but also spiritually and mentally.

I am currently engaged to a gentleman who is loving, encouraging, and whose sole expectation is that I treat myself the same way he treats me -- with kindness and respect.  I would happily follow this man to the ends of the earth.  We are getting married in just over two weeks.

[Koala]

So glad you got your happy ending @Phoebe 

[Imrlgoddess]

OMG @Phoebe....were we married to the same guy?????  I absolutely empathize and feel your pain!  Happy engagement and best wishes to a new everything.  

[Granwych]

Way to go, Phoebe!  Congrats and best wishes for a happy life ahead!

[polecat]

Phoebe, I'm happy for you! Congratulations and best wishes!

[kupcake]

The saddest part, @Phoebe, is that Lori would still shame you for leaving. She would've said that if you stayed and it did kill you, Jesus would welcome you for being such a Godly wife. How horrifying. 

I for one admire you more than I can express in a post. My mother experienced the same thing as you and took my sister away when she found the strength. They found my dad and my parents have been married for 31 years now, with my father being the one to walk my sister down the aisle and treat her like a father should. It's women like you that are heroes and mentors for the rest of us, and you deserve every single bit of happiness and peace you find now. 

[Loveday]

In comments to today's post:

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Lori, this is wonderful. I have noticed that you have had several posts with material written by Donna Martin. Does she have a blog or has she written any books, or is she writing specifically for your blog? I would like to read more from her. Thank you

 

Lori's reply:

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She has a blog, Cheryl, that she hasn't written on for a year and a half and when I found it, I went through her entire blog and pulled up the posts that I loved! Here is her blog site:

 

But did she contact this person and actually ask permission to use those posts? Doesn't sound like it to me. 

[Koala]

I think she loves it when people think she wrote posts that other people wrote.

Today:

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Very uplifting post! 

Does Lori redirect the praise back onto the actual author?  Not a chance in hell.

Lori:

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Thank you, Karla! 

[wikinggirl]

When I saw that the post was written by Donna Martin all I could think about was Tori Spelling's character on Beverly Hills 90210. Actually, my first thought was DONNA MARTIN GRADUATES!!! Imagine if 90210's Donna Martin went on to become a fundie SAHM. 

8 hours ago, Loveday said:

But did she contact this person and actually ask permission to use those posts? Doesn't sound like it to me. 

I don't think she does. It's also weird to not link the blog in the post. I thought that was common decency? But again, we are talking about Lori here...

[CrazyCatLady]

When I saw that the post was written by Donna Martin all I could think about was Tori Spelling's character on Beverly Hills 90210. Actually, my first thought was DONNA MARTIN GRADUATES!!! Imagine if 90210's Donna Martin went on to become a fundie SAHM. 

My thoughts exactly!

[Loveday]

8 hours ago, wikinggirl said:

When I saw that the post was written by Donna Martin all I could think about was Tori Spelling's character on Beverly Hills 90210. Actually, my first thought was DONNA MARTIN GRADUATES!!! Imagine if 90210's Donna Martin went on to become a fundie SAHM. 

I don't think she does. It's also weird to not link the blog in the post. I thought that was common decency? But again, we are talking about Lori here...

Donna Martin! Well, she did seem a little bit fundie-lite on the show, so it's not a far stretch. LOL!

And to be ever so slightly fair (gag me) to Lori, she did post a link to the blog at the end of the comment I posted, but I cut the quote off just before that.

[polecat]

10 hours ago, wikinggirl said:

When I saw that the post was written by Donna Martin all I could think about was Tori Spelling's character on Beverly Hills 90210. Actually, my first thought was DONNA MARTIN GRADUATES!!! Imagine if 90210's Donna Martin went on to become a fundie SAHM. 

I don't think she does. It's also weird to not link the blog in the post. I thought that was common decency? But again, we are talking about Lori here...

 

You expect a former teacher to know anything about plagiarism, intellectual property and copyright law? 

 

Phshaw! Lori was too good a teacher to muddy her hands with all that nonsense.

[wikinggirl]

3 hours ago, Loveday said:

Donna Martin! Well, she did seem a little bit fundie-lite on the show, so it's not a far stretch. LOL!

And to be ever so slightly fair (gag me) to Lori, she did post a link to the blog at the end of the comment I posted, but I cut the quote off just before that.

Exactly, She did wait a long time to have sex! (Not that there's anything wrong with that)

And yes, I saw that she posted a link to the blog in the comments, but it should have been on top in the post, not after someone asked about Donna Martin.

[Koala]

One of my favorite posts about Lori's teaching days:

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2014/12/the-demon-possessed-teacher.html

[laPapessaGiovanna]

17 minutes ago, Koala said:

One of my favorite posts about Lori's teaching days:

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2014/12/the-demon-possessed-teacher.html

This is...I have no words. Can't believe it, there's not even need to snark on it, she does it all by herself. Thank you for the laugh 

 

[wikinggirl]

3 hours ago, Koala said:

One of my favorite posts about Lori's teaching days:

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2014/12/the-demon-possessed-teacher.html

That post... I just can't. 

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I went home horrified and shared all of this with Ken, trembling and sobbing. Ken immediately got on the phone and called a professor from Westmont College who taught a class on cults and wrote a book about them. This professor told him I was being demonically oppressed and to NEVER let me return to this class. He said the writings were automatic handwritings from demons.

She was demonically oppressed while she was student teaching? I don't belive it. 

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Parents, you have NO idea who is teaching your children when you leave them with strangers all day. This was over 35 years ago. I am sure it is getting MUCH worse. Being demonically oppressed is a HORRIBLE thing! Each day seemed like a year and you feel like you're being smashed to the ground every moment. No, I'm not saying every teacher is demon possessed but you just don't know. 

Is it bad of me to think that I would rather have a demon possessed teacher than Lori as a teacher? 

[Koala]

I think that was Lori's first attempt to get out of working.  When it didn't pan out, she moved on to Plan B. (also known as: sabotaging her birth control).

It appears Lori has met her newest grandchild.  I won't lie- I absolutely cringe at the thought.  I wouldn't let Lori within a country mile of a child of mine. Grandma or no, she would NEVER get near my baby.

Can you imagine what she'd do if a grandchild tugged her hair or sunglasses, or the outrage when she couldn't flick their tiny cheeks and swat them when they wiggled?

Side note:  She has a stone cold look in her eyes no matter how much she smiles.  

[kpmom]

25 minutes ago, Koala said:

I think that was Lori's first attempt to get out of working.  When it didn't pan out, she moved on to Plan B. (also known as: sabotaging her birth control).

 

A thousand times this!  That was my first thought.

And how big of her to say not every teacher is demon possessed!  Of course she has to add how you just don't know who might be.

 

[Koala]

My favorite was the teacher with the bib:

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On the first day with the new teacher, we were eating lunch together. She put a bib on and proceeded to slobber food all over her while she talked to me! 

I mean come on...

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Oh that demon teacher story is just so, very Lori. OTT and incredible (not in a good way)

So ....... Lori was demonically oppressed while student teaching, but finished out her practicum anyway and became a teacher. She then taught for several years, presumably among other demon possessed teachers, thereby putting herself in a position to be demonically oppressed again.

Since she didn't write about continuing demon oppression, I guess it didn't happen (or never happened) or she wasn't aware of it.  After teaching for awhile she sabotages her birth control  and gets to be a SAHM.

Demonic oppression my eye -- what the heck is that anyway?  Some totally bogus Lori BS -- like that old nonsense of playing a record backwards and hearing Satan and demons talking.  This was Lori attempting to be a SAHW before she ever had children.

Woman was/ is lazy as all get out and since she was raised as a princess expected Ken to treat her as such.

Has she ever explained why Ken gave up theology school to become an orthodontic practice consultant?  Has she ever related what happened when Ken learned she'd sabotaged  her BC and tricked him in order to quit work?