JinJer 2: Courting, she did ride

[ClaraOswin]

26 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

I was coming in on a night flight once and the two guys behind me traveling in on business were impressed by the city's downtown skyline which they thought was "really something for a town of like 50,000". 

Worst one was when U.S. Figure Skating Nationals was in Omaha in 2013. When it was announced, a number of fans on the skating fan forums declared they would not come since there would be no airline access and "nothing to eat but maybe a McDonald's". In the end, though, the people that did come want Nationals to be there again. 

I always forget, are you in the Omaha area as well?

I just read an article that said the swim trials attendance this year is expected to exceed 200,000 people. Add that to the College World Series crowd. I think I'll be avoiding downtown for a while in my little town.  Too many tumbleweeds.

[JMO]

I'm watching the Jinger testimony video.  UGH.  Now I know why she cried about Jessa helping her with her hard times and why she lost her spunk.  At 14 she decided she was a terrible sinner and found the Lord.  She turned 14 Dec 21st 2007 so this would most likely be in 2008.  That was long after the first specials aired that showed the spunky Jinger. 

 

[twinmama]

4 hours ago, HereticHick said:

Get working on this, Sierra:

 

A dairy cow themed wedding??

[Bushes of Love]

1 minute ago, twinmama said:

A dairy cow themed wedding??

I think they are meant to be footballs....I can't call it soccer, I just can't!

[JMO]

Oh man, she is talking about how she proselytizes.  And THIS is the video that Jeremy saw and decided he needed to get to know her better. 

[louisa05]

3 minutes ago, ClaraOswin said:

I always forget, are you in the Omaha area as well?

I just read an article that said the swim trials attendance this year is expected to exceed 200,000 people. Add that to the College World Series crowd. I think I'll be avoiding downtown for a while in my little town.  Too many tumbleweeds.

We are about 20 miles north of Omaha. Almost in Iowa. We went to the Old Market for dinner weekend before last. We figured it would be the last chance until Swim Trials are over. 

My mother-in-law and I are planning a lunch out for Indian food. I want to go to the new place in the Old Market, so it is going to have to wait until next month, too. 

[Kira]

Some random questions and thoughts:

1. Why isn't Jinger on social media?!?!?! I found a jingervuolo twitter account, buy it mostly follows Oklahoma sports.

2. Does Jeremy have siblings?

3. I also can't wait to see the dress and colors Jinger picks, but what I really want to see is the wedding registry 

4. So.... was Jinger skyping with  Jeremy at Carlin and Trace's party? Another rumor is that Jana left the party to meet someone in Alabama. There were a lot of conflicting reports about the Duggar girls behavior at the party. At the time I wondered if people attending the party had to sign an non-disclosure agreement.

[Grimalkin]

55 minutes ago, vienna said:

This is the worst of all courtships ro me. Jinger ending up with a potentially abusive potentially gay defenitly too old fundi is just sad.  Lawson is as fundi as she is but I could see both of them beeing happy together.  I really would love to know what happened between the two of them. I could imagine Lawson  beeing yo self  confident and waiting too long with not comitting. 

         I guess you can say this about any courtship.

[twinmama]

3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

No no no! We just live in a flyover state. :-/

I have often heard the Midwest described that way. 

 Grew up in CT, the entire middle of the country was always called the flyover states. Live in Minnesota now and I just love it. Not as much as I loved Connecticut, but it's wonderful here. I don't think anyone would say we Connecticuters aren't snobby though  

[JMO]

Yikes, she is talking about The Good Person Test and the different tracts she distributes.  

[trisprefect]

4 minutes ago, Kira said:

Some random questions and thoughts:

2. Does Jeremy have siblings?

As per his hastily put together website at jeremyvuolo.com, he has an older sister named Valerie and an older brother named Charles.

edit: On facebook I found a Valerie Vuolo from Philly (same as Jeremy) who is a violinist in a band who doesn't seem particularly religious, but I have no way of knowing if that's her.

[habert]

1 hour ago, Kira said:

 

 

Like I said, I don't think Jeremy had to choose between Jana or Jinger. I think he wanted Jinger.

 There were similar comments made when Jill and Derick started to court ("Why didn't JB give Derick to Jana") I don't believe that's how these courtships happened.

 

I agree. These men aren't coming to JB and saying "I want to marry into your family, which one can I get?" I'm not saying there aren't behind the scenes bullshit happening that keeps Jana at home forever and ever, but like I doubt Derick or Jeremy were interested in Jana, and got the bride they were looking for.

But could you imagine if Jana had married Derick?? Would she really be in CA right now trying to convert Catholics? Like Jill and Derick might not be hot to trot anymore, but they are perfect fundie spouses for each other

[Shouldabeenacowboy]

29 minutes ago, trisprefect said:

I've spent all of my adult life in cities both small and large, and live in Cambridge MA now. To me it doesn't so much matter how big the city is, I just value being able to walk to a lot of different places in my neighborhood -- right now there are restaurants, shopping, groceries, and an indie movie theater all within walking distance of my apartment. Having grown up in a rural area where I had to drive everywhere, I love the freedom of being able to walk almost everywhere I need to. That said, I certainly pay for the privilege -- my rent right now for a two bedroom garden level apartment is $2000/month! 

I can relate to this - I like having the flexibility and ability to walk around where I want to, and drive only if I want to. As I jokingly tell my husband (who is a bit of a country-bumpkin ) I can do suburbs if I have metro access, a community theater, and a farmers market.Oh yes, I also need a major airport nearby, for professional and personal reasons. 

I was born and lived until I was 17 in a small village of 1000 people on a lake shore in Northern Italy. Since then, from the 1000-soul village, I lived in many places, including a 18-million people urban agglomeration (Mexico City), and everything in between, all over the world.

My favorite so far is Washington DC (the District proper, not the metro area, has a population of 650,000 or so) - small enough not to be overwhelming, diverse enough to be a world-class city. To those who dismiss small towns, I will say this though: even the smallest of towns can have a very interesting cultural scene, if one knows where to look - libraries, meet-the-author at bookstores, coffee shop book club meetups, musical performances by local college students, the options are there. I recently went to a "Shakespeare in the park" open-air play (Othello) in a small town of 9,000. People who are interested in culture will find culture.   

[twinmama]

2 hours ago, Bushes of Love said:

The city talk is making me laugh. In the UK a 200,000 population would be huge. I live bang in the middle of 3 large UK cities (Manchester-510,000, Leeds-764,000 and Sheffield-563,000) they are counted as massive cities. The city I grew up in (Durham) has a population around 50,000 and it's still considered big.

I think a lot of it is also what your town is close to. I grew up in a CT town of about 50,000. Average size, but I'd call it a town not a city. Here in MN the Twin Cities have a 3+ million person population, but all the towns just outside that have easy access to all the cities amenities are like 30k towns.

[Fundie Bunny]

7 minutes ago, Bushes of Love said:

I think they are meant to be footballs....I can't call it soccer, I just can't!

It makes sense, you play with a ball, that you kick with your feet. Not an egg that you hold with your hands 

[Jinder Roles]

As a person who has lived in countries where the entire population is 300,000, this discussion about Laredo is hilarious. America is so fucking huge. I was in awe when I went to NYC for the first time. I was craning my neck at the skyscrapers and bumping into everyone. 

 You could drop one islands I lived into the Grand Canyon 11 times! 

[Grimalkin]

5 minutes ago, twinmama said:

 Grew up in CT, the entire middle of the country was always called the flyover states. Live in Minnesota now and I just love it. Not as much as I loved Connecticut, but it's wonderful here. I don't think anyone would say we Connecticuters aren't snobby though  

      We were in the twin cities last summer for a soccer tourney and I loved it. I even looked at trulia and looked up big companies for my husband's potential future employment. 

[twinmama]

2 hours ago, 19 cats and counting said:

He wouldn't be the first fundie who's closeted but courts a girl to try and conceal his true feelings.  TFDW anyone?

Odd question, but they're all so sheltered would Jinger even have any idea if he's gay and hiding it? I doubt they have highly evolved gaydar (which I don't even like as it is really just pointing out stereotypes). I suppose if the newlywed months don't involve a ton of sex they may pick up on something being wrong, but my bet is the girl always assumes it's her fault. Though I also wonder where this idea even came from!

2 hours ago, MatthewDuggar said:

There was something upthread/other thread about him being kicked out of his first college for homosexual activity.  (that's how I remember it, I didn't read the link if there was one).   It ratcheted up from there.

Did he go to a crazy fundie school?? I thought someone said Hartwick was a liberal place??

[Kayleigh83]

Been reading through since last night and only on page 5 of this thread so far, but I had to get my thoughts out thus far....

It's obviously very tempting to analyze all of this and try to get a read on this guy from the small bits of information we have to go on so far. I personally don't get any more red flags from him than any other fundie dude, except perhaps that his personality seems a little more assertive, so he may exercise his beliefs a little more strongly or tend to "put his foot down" as a patriarch. But as far as what he does believe, he is cut from the exact same cloth. 

The problem circles back to the problem with the entire fundie belief system - there is no individuality. Everyone must fit into the one size fits all mold of a godly young man/woman, according to how Gothard and other fundie luminaries have defined that. It completely ignores the individual personalities and characters of these people, and that fundie suit clearly itches and chafes at some more than others.

Although the announcements so far have them praising the usual bullshit about each other (godly, meek, heart for the lord blah blah blah) I try to keep in mind that these are not their true thoughts coming from the heart. These are their scripts, provided by deeply ingrained and harmful belief systems, and parents who although I'm sure do so with somewhat "good" intentions (even if those intentions and goals are ones we secular types don't understand), are nonetheless completely puppeteering their children's lives in a really heinous way.

Only time will tell whether they have true chemistry and compatibility, and will work well together as a couple. But these spoon fed lines and the complete charade that is courtship is really not going to shed any light on how these two feel in their hearts. That's been buried under years of brainwashing. The true purpose of courtship isn't to find out if they are compatible as people, it's for each set of parents to eye up the potential spouse to make sure they won't be running off for a life of atheism as soon as the vows are said. It's a way to make sure the cult stays intact before it's too late. It's most certainly not to "protect the hearts" of the concerned parties. That much is painfully clear.

[Kaylo]

Ring...bouquet...cake topper.  Wedding planned. Top that Sierra.

 

[Tim-Tom Biblethumper]

@Bushes of Love  @MorningMist  Noticing that you guys are neighbors and have the exact same number of posts (100).  
That's all...

[habert]

3 minutes ago, Kaylo said:

 

that is a weird fucking cake topper

[twinmama]

1 hour ago, quiverofdoubt said:

In some states it takes over 5 hours of driving to get to another state- let alone another country.

Years ago I moved from Houston, TX to Los Angeles. The first day of driving was 13 hours in the car, all on I-10 If I recall correctly. All in Texas. Depressing to drive for 13 hours and be in the same state!!!

[EmmieJ]

2 hours ago, nausicaa said:

Yes, the way this plays out interests me a lot. Jessa already seems to be seeing the error of her ways in rushing into marriage with the first guy who made the blood rush to her bathing suit parts. However I think her happiness with Spurge tempers any anger a bit--for now.

But if Jinger gets the whole Fundie package, and lives independently of the family and with financial stability and social standing, I wonder how Jessa will deal with resentment and bitterness with her decisions as her life is thrown in sharp contrast to Jinger's.

And ITA that he seems much more Jessa's type than Jinger's. Let's be real, for women in these families, courting has a 19th century economic angle. I can't believe Jessa-- beautiful, pragmatic, and assertive-- blew her chance on an unemployed Flonase-dependent Eminem wannabe who can't string an intelligible sentence together or name kids for shit.

Nausicaa - I so love your way with words. 

[libriatrix]

7 minutes ago, twinmama said:

Odd question, but they're all so sheltered would Jinger even have any idea if he's gay and hiding it? I doubt they have highly evolved gaydar (which I don't even like as it is really just pointing out stereotypes). I suppose if the newlywed months don't involve a ton of sex they may pick up on something being wrong, but my bet is the girl always assumes it's her fault. Though I also wonder where this idea even came from!

She very likely would not. I know someone from a fundie sheltered background who married a gay guy and it took her 4 years to figure it out. He claimed he wasn't really excited by naked girls because he had spent so much time working as a lifeguard.... 

Partly I think he may also have been in total denial and not even admitting it to himself, but it does give you a picture of what can seem plausible to a girl in this situation.