Miss Raquel's 2nd Novel - Part 4

[formergothardite]

Her latest blog post shows that she lacks all self-awareness. 

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I know a lot of sheltered kids who, honestly, scare me at the thought of them being in a relationship one day.  Because many of them are taught that "God has the perfect one planned for you" and "He'll let you two meet at the perfect time", etc.

This is YOU Raquel! 

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 And do not fall in love with the idea of love.

Raquel is the poster child for falling in love with the idea of love. 

I think she just drinks wine, writes down whatever thought pops into her head and pats herself on the back for being all deep and special. 

 

 

[AmazonGrace]

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Some afternoons, I will stumble in the way I treat you, or block you out because I'm afraid you'll hurt me like others have before you, but I know that's not fair to you because you're nothing like them.

Why afternoons, specifically? Is it a side effect of her two o'clock cappuccino or something?

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And some nights I will be sunken in deep silence and you won't know how to pull me out of that forest of thoughts that fill my head

Being silent at night is so special...? 

So, she is so wounded because some previous relationships didn't work out, and there is just this one guy who can heal her?

 

[nastyhobbitses]

On 8/14/2016 at 4:55 PM, Pastors Daughter said:

Her most recent self-centered pome is up, illustrated with her latest idealized romantic photo.

The title, oddly enough, is "You."  But in truth, it is Me.

Each line is all about Me. 

And You only come into the pome to look at Me, be explained to by Me, hear the complaints of My soul, listen to Me, adore how My face looks, touch Me provocatively, watch My tears, listen to Me describe Myself, tell Me how much you love Me, be patient with Me when I act self centered, remind Me I will continue to be adored, figure out how to read My mind when I refuse to talk, be content to hear Me when I decide to talk "simply because I don't want to feel it alone" and be content when I decide not to share, touch My lips, and finally . . . tell Me you will always love ME.

 

You | a poem

My fingers were twisting together like an old tree's roots, knotted and painful like the past I was explaining to you
You looked at me, your eyes full of patience as I stumbled over the words that were so hard to say
I told you of the times that hurt me deepest
I explained to you the reasons why I act the way I do sometimes
I relayed the moments of pure joy, pure sadness, pure ecstasy
And before I knew it, I let you into a room of my heart that I had never let anyone else in before
So quickly, so easily
I was able to bare my soul to you
And you listened
You laid there, propping yourself up so that you could look down on my face
Your other arm resting gently on my stomach, your hand closed around my side
You watched as tears spilled gently from my eyes, onto the pillow beneath my head
And I described myself to you
I told you that some days, I will forget why I am with someone like you, someone who deserves so much better than me, and you might have to remind me why you love me
Some afternoons, I will stumble in the way I treat you, or block you out because I'm afraid you'll hurt me like others have before you, but I know that's not fair to you because you're nothing like them.
Please be patient with me when that happens
Just remind me that you're you and not them
And some nights I will be sunken in deep silence and you won't know how to pull me out of that forest of thoughts that fill my head
Sometimes I need to feel the sadness in order to let it go
And sometimes, I'll share it with you, not for you to try to make me happy again
But simply because I don't want to feel it alone
And when that sob began to rise in my chest, you gently laid a finger over my lips and said,
"Hey, I still love you.  I always will."
And in that moment I knew the only thing that would be able to drag me out of the entanglement of memories is that voice
That touch
That you.

Such a work of great literary prowess deserves a scholarly translation. I humbly offer my services:

I spent the first half of our Tinder date telling you that all my other exes were total assholes

You feigned interest because you haven't gotten laid in 3 months and you're wondering if this will go anywhere

I rambled on for about half an hour about my teen angst bullshit

And then I decided that you were hot/passive enough to be my new boy toy

You cuddled with me because that's close enough to sex

But instead I just kept rambling about drama I stir up to make myself seem more interesting

I'm going to be a needy, whiny, narcissistic asshole to you and expect you to just take it and validate me

I will make you miserable right along with me because I think it will make you pay more attention to me

Validate me

Validate me

Validate me

[LilMissMetaphor]

For months now, all of Raquel's posts have essentially been her saying: "I've messed around with various boys more than I probably should have and here is my justification, poorly disguised as advice and poetry.  Please use the comments to thank me!"

[Terrie]

2 hours ago, LilMissMetaphor said:

For months now, all of Raquel's posts have essentially been her saying: "I've messed around with various boys more than I probably should have and here is my justification, poorly disguised as advice and poetry.  Please use the comments to thank me!"

Don't forget the current of "I'm so special and delicate and sensative. Please tell me how wonderful I am!" running through all of it. 

Though, to give her a smidgen of slack, I've noticed that many people seem to think that not telling kids how special they are and maybe admitting that someone is ordinary and that's okay is some form of child abuse. Thankfully, most people seem to eventually outgrow believing that they are the bestest ever. Sadly, when they don't, you end up with someone like Raquel.

[kupcake]

Long time lurker, first time poster (so typical, I know), but I just couldn't hold back with this one. 

I started reading about Raquel and generally it's funny, sometimes disturbing (like with those poor boys), but her absolute murder of poetry is too much. 

My BA is in Fiction Writing and my MS is in Strategic Public Relations Writing. I know how to write. I do it often and professionally. And I'm the first to admit that mine isn't the best; hell, I'd be published and not working at an office if I was the next Jane Austen or Hemingway or Murakami. But shit on toast, her writing. 

Even if you can somehow manage to remove the awful premise of the pome (did I do that right?!), it's just horrendous. If there's one thing I learned in college all those years ago, it's that poetry should read fluidly, but you can't just write a paragraph, separate it onto a bunch of different lines when you feel like it "flows," and then add things like "forest of my thoughts" or whatever that trash was, and call it poetry. 

I couldn't have gotten away with that in high school. I had a great creative writing teacher in high school who didn't tolerate that kind of nonsense, but regardless. She's in for a rude, critical slap in the face if she actually goes to college and sits down in a room with those who are supposed to give her suggestions on how to improve. 

Step 1: don't write like you're 13 and obsessed with Tumblr. 

Or I guess then Step 1 would have to be don't act like you're 13 before she can move onto that.

[Vex]

I thought of a pome for Raquel.

It begins:

My advice is like a Tinder date:
Superficial and brief
Unlike my poetry
which is superficial but,
in which brevity
is a foreign concept

But my muse has now left me, so I sadly cannot finish.

I have to say I vastly prefer cringy poetry to orphan-molesting.

[AmazonGrace]

For the purposes of this pome we will assume that tree roots are able to feel pain and  that eyes full of patience is a facial expression.

I love talking about me endlessly, but for the purposes of this pome you are supposed to pretend that it doesn't come easily to me.

I told you everything I ever felt and then I explained to you my justifications for my inexplicable  choices.

I talk about this stuff on my blog all the time but I guess you don't read it so I can tell you that you are the only one I'm telling all this to.

I told you all this quickly, so easily, although I just claimed it was so hard  to say these words.

We cuddled but we did not have sex. I cried. (It may or may not have been  because we did not have sex.)

When I cry I don't get a stuffy nose and contorted features - my tears spill gently and all ladylike.

I told you that I'm probably going to be a bitch to you but you need to forgive and understand because I'm wounded. 

I know that it's not fair to punish you for stupid crap that my exes pulled but I'm going to do it anyway.

Now add a  mixed metaphor about sinking in the forest.

You have to pull me out of my head - I'm still working out how that happens.

I'm feeding my sadness and telling you all about it because I want you to feel bad with me too.

It makes us more interesting .

You're going to compliment me.

And I'm going to tell you that you are the only one who can save me from being bitter about my exes.

Until we break up and I'll be bitter about you.

 

[Terrie]

From her latest blog entry:

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I've always been an extremely ambitious person.  I set high standards for myself, and am always making goal lists. 

Of course, when she fails, it's because "God" said "No" and it wasn't meant to be part of her pre-planned life. It's never, ever her fault, is it?

She also mentions

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.  I planned to go to a school that I was accepted at (that was like a dream come true for me) but God closed the door to it when I least expected Him to.

So is college off the table for this fall?

[formergothardite]

So it looks like no college. Wonder what happened. 

Raquel is learning all the wrong things from her failures. She sets unrealistic goals,  expects to achieve them with minimal work. and then blames God when she can't reach her goals. 

[Terrie]

6 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

So it looks like no college. Wonder what happened. 

Raquel is learning all the wrong things from her failures. She sets unrealistic goals,  expects to achieve them with minimal work. and then blames God when she can't reach her goals. 

Probably finanical issues. By choosing to go to a private college, it would be that much more expensive. When she says "Keep trying until god says no" she means "Keep trying until you get bored."

[formergothardite]

She tweeted this:

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I wish I could make a friend sit down, tie him to a chair & make him listen to Breathe by @nfrealmusic

First of all, I find it interesting that she said "him". Raquel almost never seems to want friends who are female. Secondly, making a friend and then immediately tying them to a chair to force them to listen to music is a good way to lose friends. I know she was trying to go for "cute" with that post, but she just comes off as creepy. 

[clueliss]

For some reason I recall her turning in her financial aid over the summer.  It may either have gotten turned down or not been enough to meet tuition (plus room/board etc) (or I could be imagining the whole thing).  So likely spending money on tattoos etc was more important than tuition at an expensive private school.  

Or the boy she was turning her life upside down for didn't like her after all.

or she found a different boy and didn't go.  

[AmazonGrace]

57 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

She tweeted this:

First of all, I find it interesting that she said "him". Raquel almost never seems to want friends who are female. Secondly, making a friend and then immediately tying them to a chair to force them to listen to music is a good way to lose friends. I know she was trying to go for "cute" with that post, but she just comes off as creepy. 

Back when I was young one could just tell a friend, hey, listen to this.  

[Terrie]

She's not old enough to be an independant student for FASFA, so if her parents aren't helping with costs, it will be that much harder for her to afford it. Frankly, given her track record for sticking with things, I wouldn't help pay for her college at a private four year school. If she was serious about school (when is she ever serious about anything?), she would take classes at community college to get herself started.

[ari_belle]

Wow! She backed out of college even sooner than I thought she would.

[AmazonGrace]

On 16.8.2016 at 1:53 PM, formergothardite said:

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 And do not fall in love with the idea of love.

Raquel is the poster child for falling in love with the idea of love. 

I think she just drinks wine, writes down whatever thought pops into her head and pats herself on the back for being all deep and special. 

 

 

 

A couple of paragraphs later in the same post she writes. 

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Fall in love with the choice that you will make to love and keep on loving one person.

Don't fall in love with the idea of love but fall in love with the choice you make to love? Not the person but your own thoughts and decisions about love? How is that different from falling in love with the idea of love again? 

[formergothardite]

God promised Raquel she would get to go to a concert, but instead of budgeting for a ticket, she  just kept waiting for God a guy to buy her one. That didn't happen, she had no money, so she wasn't going to get to go. But then she got paid $180 for something she wrote*, so she took that as "God kisses galore!" and spent it on buying a ticket right next to the stage. Maybe God should send Raquel some financial planning books. 

*who is paying her to write? I think most of the members here could probably write better than she can. 

[AmazonGrace]

I'm happy God came through and she enjoyed herself but her finances sound like she needs a lot of help from above. She's so broke that  she can't afford to buy a concert ticket and what does she do? Travel to Peru... Afterwards she's busy saving up but still broke and can't afford to buy a concert ticket. So she gets a little extra money. What does she do? Spend it. 

 

[Terrie]

The lyrics she posted cracked me up. So much like her pomes.

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"Let the King of my heart
Be the wind inside my sails
The anchor in the waves"

Um, wind in your sails moves you around. An anchor keeps you in place. God apparently is as confused as Raquel on what the goal is.

[AmazonGrace]

Incidentally, here's what she was/is praying for her future husband:

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Pray for discernment in handling finances and that he would be good with his money

http://www.itsjustraquel.com/2013/07/pray-for-your-future-husband.html

[clueliss]

He needs to be good with his because she's not good with hers and if she's not good with hers and she won't be with theirs.  Granted, any guy who is discerning with finances won't make it through her Pinterest fueled dreams of relationship goals because he won't shower her with gifts (or concert tickets).  

[Terrie]

And from her Facebook

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I see so many rants by girlfriends on their social medias on what they expect from their boyfriends. "My boyfriend better say this to me" or "My boyfriend better do that for me" or "My boyfriend better never choose his friends over me", etc.
Seriously. Stop.
First of all, you're with him for certain reasons. If those reasons aren't enough and all these 'musts' are on your list, then why are you with him in the first place?
Secondly, he's with you for certain reasons too. Don't give him a good reason to leave.
Your boyfriend isn't there to enhance your life, pay for all your wants, and be your servant. He's imperfect, just as you are. Relationships aren't about what you can get from the other. It's about what you can give.

The complete lack of awareness on her part is just... True, she's a lot less nasty than many of the fundies we talk about on her, but she's one of the most jawdropping in her own special snowflake way and certianly the one who annoys me the most. I remain hopeful that she has not yet found a guy, because there's still a chance she will finally grow up before having accessories kids.

[formergothardite]

2 minutes ago, Terrie said:

The complete lack of awareness on her part is just... True, she's a lot less nasty than many of the fundies we talk about on her, but she's one of the most jawdropping in her own special snowflake way and certianly the one who annoys me the most. 

Oh, she can be pretty nasty too. Her Tweets and ask.fm answers about gay people were pretty vile. Last year she also said people who committed suicide were going to hell because no saved person would do that. Her nasty fundie side doesn't show as much because she is too busy talking about herself. She is also one of those people who glorifies the Old South and slavery, which is really odd since she is from Oregon. 

Her lack of awareness, though, is truly astounding. How can she not see that she does all the things she criticizes? It is really no wonder she can't seem to keep friends, I bet she would flip out if anyone tried to help her gain self-awareness. 

I really think she was expecting a guy to buy her a ticket and that is why she never tried to save money for it. She most likely had a particular guy in mind. Probably the one she got re-baptized for. 

[Terrie]

I agree she's a nasty, petty little brat, but she doesn't reach the level of, say, Lori or PP. For all they disgust me, they are more capabale of organzing their lives than Raquel, which means their nastiness has a broader impact.