Lori Alexander - Still Not Learning A Thing, Part 5

[VodouDoll]

Gosh. I'm not submissive to my husband at all, but I also don't do any of that stuff because I'm not a mean bitch.

[OnceUponATime]

today's post is pure gold

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You belong "barefoot and pregnant" in the kitchen!

except for that one day when you must leave for a short while:

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Then on voting day, happily leave your kitchen to go vote for Rubio or Cruz who clearly proclaim Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.

 

Did you know the word kitchen is not mentioned once in the KJV?

[2xx1xy1JD]

4 hours ago, Koala said:

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/03/for-husbands-who-dont-want-submissive.html

Look at this from 2013:

She really doesn't understand that people can have happy, successful relationships with no desire to control each other.  She also doesn't seem to realize how childish and manipulative she sounds with the above questions.

 

Sounds like a lesson on how to be passive-aggressive.

Also, isn't figuring out what makes your spouse happy and doing that what husbands should be doing as well?  She doesn't think that husbands should be submissive, but does that mean that they should be doing the things in her list of questions?

[usmcmom]

Lori is once again telling women to get back into their kitchens. Haven't we heard this before from her?

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Men and children have been cheated. They've been cheated of having a wife and mother who loves them enough to be in the kitchen often preparing good food for them.

How about if Lori lets everyone decide for himself whether he feels cheated?

Maybe, just maybe, Lori's kids feel cheated for having been raised by a nanny, fat-shamed throughout their adolescence and forced to stay in their rooms for two hours a day when they wanted to spend time with their mother. Because, even when your mother is mean and you have memories of being beaten by her, you often still have a desire to be near her.

Warning, this next bit may be a humble brag...sorry.  My daughter-in-law once said to me "I wish I could be a stay at home mom to my daughter and give to her what you gave to (son)."  Instead of pouncing on her and shaming her into feeling guilty for "cheating" my son's new stepdaughter; I just said "You know what, I was raised by a working mother and NOT ONCE did I feel like I was somehow receiving less than my friends who had stay at home moms."  And that was the truth.  I then went on to remind her of all the things I knew she did for her young daughter WHILE working; just like my mother had done for me.

As a stay at home mother, I had no problem admitting that most "working" mothers had better time management skills and more diligence than I.  I knew they were probably more tired than I.  I also knew some of them HAD to work and some of them CHOSE to work.  Big deal.  Most of us were just doing the best we could on this hard journey of parenting.  There were times, I admit, I got caught up in the Mommy wars - one time with one of my dearest friends.  We both apologized profusely and admitted how nasty it felt to have attacked one of our own. 

Have we ever seen Lori when she's NOT in attack mode??  Besides when she's making an idol of the Pearls or the Duggars, I mean. 

 

[laPapessaGiovanna]

I can't see how a woman with relationship abilities of a 6th grader (apologies to every 6th grader) should be offering marriage advice pretending to be the Godly Mentor.

Re the kitchen thing, does Lori actually cook or only "fix" foodon a plate?

[molecule]

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You belong "barefoot and pregnant" in the kitchen! This is all I ever wanted in life and if you are a younger, godly woman, you should as well.

This is what it all boils down to. Lori is the godliest of godly women, and therefore, if she wanted something, we should, too, goshdarnit.

The Proverbs 31 woman does many things, and providing food is but one of them. (Note, Lori, that giving meat does not require that a woman is preparing the food herself.)

I find it amusing that Lori mines Proverbs 31 for the parts that match what she personally wants to do, yet she ignores verse 26:

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She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

She is an embarrassment to Christian women.

[salex]

4 hours ago, OnceUponATime said:

My problem with all those questions is that they mostly have nothing to do with being submissive. Sure a submissive doormat who doesn't say a word isn't going to argue, but just because you're not submissive doesn't mean you're constantly arguing or needing to be right. 

 

It is like Lady Lydia's list of 30 things you should do before getting a job--a meaningless list that tells us more about Ken and Lori and what they struggle with than about anyone else.  It was something that Ken never understood when he was here... he told people who said they didn't do the submission routine but also didn't fight that either they were naturally submissive OR their husbands were pussywhipped and wouldn't admit they were not happy. 

I think Ken's description of how wives and husbands and employees and bosses is virtually always set in adversarial tones.  He missed the whole change from win lose in dealing with people to win-win.... no one has to win every argument if the people involved in a disagreement share a goal of finding the best solution for everyone.  You don't have to have a wife promise sex on demand if you are good in the sack and both find sex rewarding.  You don't have to play the relationship games that Ken and Lori believe are normal if you love, admire and like one another.  Ken may or may not like Lori (his goal in getting married was, as I recall "legit sex" and maybe "marrying up / Doctor's daughter"   Loris' was "no one else has asked me and I'm graduating soon... don't want to be single and out of college and working...so he'll do." or so it seems.  She acknowledges she didn't much love him and has never felt tingles for him.  

So, yeah, I can have an egalitarian marriage without badmouthing my husband or trying always to one up him about whatever.  And he'll still get his favorite foods, and I will get mine. And I can work full time and still bake bread and have a damn centerpiece on my tables....OH, and I suspect I out cook Lori on an ongoing basis....

How limited this fundie view of life is, how very either / or they make things out to be. 

[OnceUponATime]

@molecule  Jacob cooked stew (Gen 25) and then Isaac commanded Esau to cook for him (Gen 27). It clearly wasn't an exclusively male role (the priests also prepared food).
Of course that is all in the OT which doesn't count for Lori unless she needs it (ie spanking/rod)

[usmcmom]

Quote

  Quote:

You belong "barefoot and pregnant" in the kitchen! This is all I ever wanted in life and if you are a younger, godly woman, you should as well.

This is what it all boils down to. Lori is the godliest of godly women, and therefore, if she wanted something, we should, too, goshdarnit.

I've had a strange (okay MORE strange) feeling about Ken and Lori the last few weeks and this just brings it up again. I hope I can explain it well.

It seems to me there is a little different vibe in their writing lately. There seems to be more lines like that above - lines that direct their readers that they MUST feel the way Ken and Lori do...not necessarily the way the Bible directs.  This, coupled with incidents like the time Ken said Jesus was wrong, just have me thinking they are really going off the deep end and heading toward The Church of Ken. 

I don't feel for one minute that they are smart enough to be consciously  grooming their readers; but I do think they are becoming more and more unhinged in their thinking with their "this is the way WE do it and to be Godly, you must do it that way too." 

I think, within a few years, legitimate church leaders and theologians will be publicly calling out Ken and Lori Alexander as dangerous cult figures. 

 

[Loveday]

1 hour ago, laPapessaGiovanna said:

I can't see how a woman with relationship abilities of a 6th grader (apologies to every 6th grader) should be offering marriage advice pretending to be the Godly Mentor.

Re the kitchen thing, does Lori actually cook or only "fix" foodon a plate?

Well, you don't have to 'cook' salads. But tearing open a bag of premixed greens and chopping up a tomato and a cucumber does keep Lori in the kitchen--for at least five or ten minutes a day. 

[Koala]

26 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

I've had a strange (okay MORE strange) feeling about Ken and Lori the last few weeks and this just brings it up again. I hope I can explain it well.

It seems to me there is a little different vibe in their writing lately. There seems to be more lines like that above - lines that direct their readers that they MUST feel the way Ken and Lori do...not necessarily the way the Bible directs.  This, coupled with incidents like the time Ken said Jesus was wrong, just have me thinking they are really going off the deep end and heading toward The Church of Ken. 

I don't feel for one minute that they are smart enough to be consciously  grooming their readers; but I do think they are becoming more and more unhinged in their thinking with their "this is the way WE do it and to be Godly, you must do it that way too." 

I think, within a few years, legitimate church leaders and theologians will be publicly calling out Ken and Lori Alexander as dangerous cult figures. 

 

I have felt the exact same way.  It's all getting a very cultish feeling as of late.  

There has been an exodus of actual scripture, and an influx of rules that aren't Biblical at all (see: Brushing your teeth in front of your husband is okay, but flossing isn't).  

The whole "Jesus was wrong" was very jarring.  I have never heard a Christian say anything like that.  It just shows you that if they have to throw Jesus under the bus in order to validate what they are saying, then they are more than happy to do it.  

Anyway, you put into words exactly what I have been thinking.  

[molecule]

31 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

It seems to me there is a little different vibe in their writing lately. There seems to be more lines like that above - lines that direct their readers that they MUST feel the way Ken and Lori do...not necessarily the way the Bible directs.  This, coupled with incidents like the time Ken said Jesus was wrong, just have me thinking they are really going off the deep end and heading toward The Church of Ken. 

 

I agree that there has been a change in the writing. I wasn't thinking about the Church of Ken as much, though, as I was thinking about the Church of Pearl.

Even in her non-CTBHHM posts, she is promoting ideas from the Pearls (although she doesn't always say so). Have the Pearls ever mentioned Lori on their blog or FB page? Have they ever commented on Lori's blog? It's almost like Lori is fangirling so she can get the Pearls' attention. Instead of Jesus being the way to heaven, she seems to think the Pearls are the way.

5 minutes ago, Koala said:

The whole "Jesus was wrong" was very jarring.  I have never heard a Christian say anything like that.  

I agree. This was weird and unsettling.

The whole thing about repentance was really odd, too. It didn't have anything to do with being a wife or helpmeet, which seemed odd for Lori. It was just Lori arguing with how lesser Christians view things. She seemed totally unprepared for the response she got from her readers. Her follow-up post on that made even less sense than her first post did.

They are getting creepy.

[2xx1xy1JD]

In the King's post, they are trotting out - again - the line that "every institution in this world has one leader."

Um, no, that's false.

Seems I remember learning about partnerships in Business Law.

Not all organizations are hierarchal either.  But hey, what does Harvard Business Review know?  https://hbr.org/2013/11/hierarchy-is-overrated/

Also, collectives and coops are a thing.

Even in corporations, the CEO isn't actually a "ruler".  There is often no majority shareholder, the CEO is chosen and can be removed by the Board.

If they really want to start with the Bible quotes, go back to "it's not good for Man (meaning human) to be alone."  The narrative, read in the original Hebrew, describes a First Human created in the divine image who had it all - plenty of fruit and other vegetation to eat, and animals to use.  There was no need for a servant, which is why the word for servant is not used.  Instead, the Hebrew text talks about an "ezer k'negdo", literally a "help opposite".  The dynamic of a partnership, where each person is NOT the ultimate authority, and where partners have some back and forth and can challenge each other and use each other's strengths to become better, is seen as the ideal.

[OnceUponATime]

27 minutes ago, molecule said:

Even in her non-CTBHHM posts, she is promoting ideas from the Pearls (although she doesn't always say so). Have the Pearls ever mentioned Lori on their blog or FB page? Have they ever commented on Lori's blog? It's almost like Lori is fangirling so she can get the Pearls' attention.

I was wondering if the Pearls pay them commission somehow?

[happy atheist]

 

55 minutes ago, Koala said:

There has been an exodus of actual scripture, and an influx of rules that aren't Biblical at all (see: Brushing your teeth in front of your husband is okay, but flossing isn't).

 "Flossing in Front of My Husband Like Some Kind of Jezebel" is our newest post count title!

[Florita]

1 hour ago, usmcmom said:

I've had a strange (okay MORE strange) feeling about Ken and Lori the last few weeks and this just brings it up again. I hope I can explain it well.

It seems to me there is a little different vibe in their writing lately. There seems to be more lines like that above - lines that direct their readers that they MUST feel the way Ken and Lori do...not necessarily the way the Bible directs.

 

I agree. I think Lori has become more shrill (if that is possible) and her writing has taken a tone of desperate frustration. Plus the self-aggrandizing "I speak for God" nonsense has become more frequent.

I'm reminded of the scene in Mommie Dearest when Joan Crawford (Faye Dunaway) freaks out over wire hangers.

[molecule]

Could someone remind me which post had the "Jesus was wrong" comment? (I'm too lazy to find it on my own.)

[OnceUponATime]

http://lorialexander.blogspot.be/2016/01/if-only-submission-fit-into-nice.html

@molecule that's the blogpost. it's written by ken. You find it half way down

[Sera's Arrow]

I avoid Facebook like it carries a horrible disease so does Lori really have a hundred of godly women engaging on hers as Ken told Anony Mom? Has her number of actual readers gone up in the last few years or is it just new snarkers, like myself? If Lori is gaining a higher volume of readers who take her seriously and are not reading for their daily dose of fucknuttery, this could be the reason why she and Ken are playing the more right than Jesus, God and the Bible line.

They have people to control, people they know won't ask too many hard questions and people they know will be like "i totally agree!" to everything/anything they say. No matter how harmful or disgusting it is. I think this has emboldened them to have the attitude where they can say Jesus is wrong or pretend to be God. I could be wrong though.

[refugee]

23 hours ago, polecat said:

Lori and Ken make marriage sound like So. Much. Work. 
 

It is work, especially if you marry a self-absorbed jerk. Or if you are both self-absorbed jerks.

And, of course, there's the dynamic that "experts" who want to garner attention, fame, and even $$$ need to make their area of expertise look like a LOT of work so that people will come to them with questions, making them (feel) important.

[OnceUponATime]

13 minutes ago, Sera's Arrow said:

I avoid Facebook like it carries a horrible disease so does Lori really have a hundred of godly women engaging on hers as Ken told Anony Mom?

I never know how to take FB stats though.

I haven't seen her get more than 50 likes/comments on either her blog or a facebook post.

[feministxtian]

now I feel nauseous...a friend of mine "likes" her FB "always learning" page...but then again, she goes on and on about decluttering...it ain't that hard...THROW THE SHIT OUT. We condensed a 4 bedroom house to a one bedroom apartment that's a bit cluttered...but we are planning to throw the rest of the shit out once I start working and have some cash to redecorate.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

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Lori Alexander· 3 hours ago

I love Dr. Carson but he has no chance of winning. I, personally, love Rubio but it seems our country is bent on nominating a man who you gets easily offended, never apologizes, mocks others, and is mean to others. I guess it sounds like many people today in our entitled society.

 

Gee, you mean like yourself? Talk about projection there. 

[Koala]

Lori:

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Most women have no desire to please their husbands, Martha. They just think about pleasing themselves. This is what feminism is all about. 

No, that's not true at all.  I am sure there are women out there who don't give a flying fig about making their husbands happy....Lori for instance.  At least until Ken started making waves about them just being business partners, and suddenly Lori found submission.

This is just another example of Lori's inability to think beyond herself.  She didn't care about Ken's happiness, therefore, "most" women have no desire to please their husbands.  She can't imagine that any woman would want anything different that she wanted.  She even managed to change the word "desire" in the Bible to mean control.  She just couldn't accept that a woman would actually desire her husband.  

It's a shame really.  She has no idea how good a happy marriage can be.  My only complaint about my husband is that he has to go to work.  We'd both be totally content if we could be together all the time.  We aren't newlyweds either.  We've been together for 17 years and married for 15, and we are both dedicated to making each other happy.  If you don't care about making your spouse happy, don't blame feminism.  Take a good, long look at yourself.
 

[feministxtian]

I am one of those "ebil feminists"...I made dinner tonight AND served my hubby his plate BEFORE I fixed mine. Hubs and I spend close to 24/7 together right now since I'm not working...and mostly I LOVE it! We have so much fun together, everything from chores to snuggling to just talking shit to each other and commenting on various bodily functions. 

I feel so sorry for Lori and Ken...after almost 20 years I enjoy my hub's company more than ever.