Romantic History's Sarah Jane Leaves Husband- Part 3

[Fallgirl30]

Thanks Ellacinders!

[Fallgirl30]

Ok, wow.  I just read the entries.  My perception of Russ has taken on a whole new level of sick.  This sounds horrible, but the most polite way I can put it, is that he doesn't deserve to be above ground right now.  Seeing his stupid smiling selfies on FB is too much to take.

[NeverAFundie]

On 2/14/2016 at 4:05 PM, ellacinders said:

Where I live, even if the non-custodial parent is a billion dollars in arrears on child support payments, the law clearly states that the child will not suffer the physical loss of the non-custodial parent as a result of said arrears.  It is fair and unfair at the same time.

Here, a parent can flagrantly violate support orders, then quit a job so that wages cannot be garnished, and put the custodial parent into heavens knows what kind of financial difficulties due to the loss, and STILL show up each weekend with a smile and a balloon and walk off to play with your child for two days.

For the custodial parent to deny visitation to the deadbeat can result in jail time for the custodial parent.

The only punishment for the deadbeat is a bad credit score.

Pretty crappy deal.  Hopefully the child will eventually be able to discern (even if it takes 40 years) the difference between the real parent, and the one who wore the disguise.

This is true in almost every state, if not every state.  Many years ago, custodial parents frequently withheld parenting time when the non-custodial parent wasn't paying child support.  Then in the late 60s a group of lawyers who get together to draft uniform state laws put together the Uniform Child Support Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act.  It has been revised a few times over the years, and as of today, only Massachusetts and Puerto Rico have not adopted it.  While it's true that you can no longer withhold visitation for failure to pay child support (which, in my opinion, is the ethically correct outcome), there are other remedies besides a bad credit score.

As someone else mentioned, wages can be garnished (assuming the parent is employed), and income tax refunds can be seized.  I know first-hand that the Illinois State Disbursement Unit for child support aggressively pursues those remedies.  It's more difficult with support-paying parents who change jobs a lot, because of the processing time to file the paperwork and notify the employer.  The custodial parent can also file a motion for a rule to show cause, which would require the support-paying parent to demonstrate that he/she is in compliance with the child support order.  Failure to do so leads to a finding of contempt, which can lead to jail time.  My boyfriend (a word that weirds me out a little now that I'm 41) has sole custody of his daughter, and the girl's mother has never once voluntarily paid child support on time.  She has spent months in jail for it over the years.  She shows up for the enforcement hearing, and they arrest her on the spot.

And yes, a custodial parent can get jail time for denying visitation, but only if the non-custodial parent files a motion for a rule to show cause, which would require the custodial parent to demonstrate that he/she is in compliance with the visitation order.  Failure to demonstrate that can also result in a finding of contempt, which can lead to jail time (but only does so infrequently).  Usually the outcome is an order from the court directing the custodial parent to comply with the order, perhaps an order to pay the non-custodial parent's legal fees, and an admonishment from the court.  High-drama custody arrangements sometimes provide for custody exchanges in the presence of law enforcement.  I also know of non-custodial parents who keep copies of the parenting agreement with them at all times, so that if the custodial parent calls the police when the non-custodial parent tries to exercise parenting time, the non-custodial parent can show the agreement to police and hopefully then get the police to cooperate in enforcing the order.  The willingness of law enforcement to get involved varies widely from jurisdiction to jurisdiction.

[nausicaa]

The September 1, 2013 entry. 

 Somebody else read that too right? 

[MakeitSew]

I just went and read it. Wow. Yeah, talk about chills. How the fuck is this looser not in jail?! I've known for a while the verbal and mental shit he pulls on people but dragging a pregnant woman - the woman pregnant with the daughter he claims to love so much - by her hair? There are just no words. . .

[fundiefan]

27 minutes ago, nausicaa said:

The September 1, 2013 entry. 

 Somebody else read that too right? 

Yep. That's the one that turned my stomach so wildly. The whole entry says "Russ". He still thinks he has value since he was once a cop and he still tries to use that to manipulate people. Not to mention the emotional and mental abuse in the first part of the story - her doing the work, him saying it's so she can be with him sooner - it all makes me terrified for anyone who gets anywhere near him.

[nausicaa]

44 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

Yep. That's the one that turned my stomach so wildly. The whole entry says "Russ". He still thinks he has value since he was once a cop and he still tries to use that to manipulate people. Not to mention the emotional and mental abuse in the first part of the story - her doing the work, him saying it's so she can be with him sooner - it all makes me terrified for anyone who gets anywhere near him.

I wonder if that story is actually an excerpt of something she read once (it's very well written), but even so, she would have quoted it because it resonated with her. 

Grabbing her by her hair while she's pregnant? 

[MakeitSew]

Lauren was born in October of 2005. According to public record on the Knox County, IL court website Lauren's mom did indeed get an OP against Russell in April of 2005, when she was pregnant with Lauren. So, the dates fit. I believe the story is hers. 

 

Edited to add: She seems to have taken out more than one OP against Russell. There are records for another in 2006 and another in 2008. 

 

[EweSheep]

14 hours ago, ellacinders said:

http://promiseafterpromise.blogspot.com   

There are some items about Russ in her 2013 entries, and I think one in her 2014 entries.  I may have missed some because I quickly scanned through a lot of them.  Fortunately for her, she does not seem to dwell on him too much and I bet that pisses the hell out of him.  He's a real piece of work.

she is a woman of strong faith and because of that, she moved on and gain strength from the people that loves her, including her kids. I did enjoy her blogs!

[EweSheep]

2 hours ago, MakeitSew said:

Lauren was born in October of 2005. According to public record on the Knox County, IL court website Lauren's mom did indeed get an OP against Russell in April of 2005, when she was pregnant with Lauren. So, the dates fit. I believe the story is hers. 

 

Edited to add: She seems to have taken out more than one OP against Russell. There are records for another in 2006 and another in 2008. 

 

I looked it up, yep, that's true. 

Her Sept 1 blog sent chills down on my back......how cops can do it...beat their wives or someone else in the head and between fingers. 

Glad she got the HELL away from him! And the "rumors" of Russ picking up his daughter at a "neutral" place where she can drop her off but never have to see him or meet up with him about Lauren. A very smart move. 

With the OP in effect, he can NOT own firearms or be in possession of one, that alone can be the violation of the state of IL....it said very clearly on that regards. I know you can hunt on your own land but if and when Russ would get caught. He can't have firearms in his own house for that matter. 

Take a look at the August 1st blog.....OMG and SJ RUN AWAY!!!!!!

For any women in Russell's future life, stay far, far away from him!

[bea]

Wow. That is some terrifying reading. Lauren is lucky she has someone add strong as her mom on her side.

I hope SJ has had at least some contact with Lauren's mom.

[season of life]

He's really something else. I can't believe he'll put up photos of his daughter on Facebook and dote on her in public when he had no problem abusing his pregnant wife.

[DaffyDill]

She sounds like a really wonderful, gutsy lady. An absolute inspiration.

But, I wonder, can we hide the links to her blog somehow? I would hate for Russ to find it and desecrate the one place she goes to vent, think through life, and write her innermost thoughts.

Please know, I'm not having a go at anyone for providing the link...I enjoyed reading her blog, but the thought of Russ finding it and leaving his disgusting thoughts in the comments has been bothering me all day. She didn't ask for that, her name isn't even on the blog.

I don't even know her, I just feel somewhat protective toward her, and the life she is trying to hard to build for her children on her own. 

ETA: Sorry - I was wrong - her name appears on some later posts, but still, I'd hate Russ to find it through us.

[ellacinders]

I found it through google, so he can too.  I bet he's known all about it for a couple of years.  He found out about 'us,' didn't he?

He's behaved very badly lately and I'm sure between hearing from his people and reading this, he realizes he needs to try to minimize the damage.   So now there are the lovey dovey Lauren posts, how he was man enough to realize he needed to quit smoking so his baby could bond with his breath (something I am sure he was told and requested to do, as opposed to researching on his own - I doubt the guy picked up a book after high school....save for his police academy textbook), and to prove he is so observant a parent he filmed how she can pick up playing cards.

Smoke and mirrors.  In a week he'll be drunk face booking again.  Or sooner, depending on when his funds run dry.

[Granwych]

38 minutes ago, ellacinders said:

I found it through google, so he can too.  I bet he's known all about it for a couple of years.  He found out about 'us,' didn't he?

He's behaved very badly lately and I'm sure between hearing from his people and reading this, he realizes he needs to try to minimize the damage.   So now there are the lovey dovey Lauren posts, how he was man enough to realize he needed to quit smoking so his baby could bond with his breath (something I am sure he was told and requested to do, as opposed to researching on his own - I doubt the guy picked up a book after high school....save for his police academy textbook), and to prove he is so observant a parent he filmed how she can pick up playing cards.

Smoke and mirrors.  In a week he'll be drunk face booking again.  Or sooner, depending on when his funds run dry.

I doubt that much of whatever he picked up in the police academy came from a textbook.  I admire Lauren's mom and hope for the best for her and her kids.

[EweSheep]

19 hours ago, bea said:

Wow. That is some terrifying reading. Lauren is lucky she has someone add strong as her mom on her side.

I hope SJ has had at least some contact with Lauren's mom.

She does. That is why SJ did what she had to do, to get the heck away from Russ for a new start in a new state, back to her supportive family members and friends.

At least Lauren's mom is telling the truth.....she is the prime example of a batterer and she pushed thru her strength from God and supportive network in her group. 

It would be a BIG honor to meet her in person and I would thank her personally in sharing the life experiences. Who cares if Russ finds out about it, all the domestic abuse/violence can be found in court records. Abusers lie, that is all they know how to do it and they do it well.

[MakeitSew]

Russell's problem is that even when he is lying (for instance, degrading his daughters mother as an unfit parent) he is so delusional he really believes he is telling the truth. To him, everything he says and does is somehow justified. He thinks of himself as the victim while it is extremely apparent he is the abuser.

[season of life]

On 2/17/2016 at 5:32 PM, MakeitSew said:

Russell's problem is that even when he is lying (for instance, degrading his daughters mother as an unfit parent) he is so delusional he really believes he is telling the truth. To him, everything he says and does is somehow justified. He thinks of himself as the victim while it is extremely apparent he is the abuser.

I think you hit the nail on the head. This man is never going to wake up one day and realize how harmful his actions (past and present) have been. He will never take responsibility for things he's done and the things he's said because Russell The Asshat doesn't exist in his mind. It's just Poor, Abandoned, Unloved Russell. Not to say that Sarah Jane and Mr. Romantic History are perfect people, but Russell's perspective on his situation is warped.

[ellacinders]

Russell, we know you troll about here.  Please read the following.  And please, for the love of Pete, absorb and learn from it.

http://wallstreetinsanity.com/25-rules-for-selfies-all-men-should-follow/

[EweSheep]

Oh the duck faces, who the hell created that hot mess? Russ isn't cute, in fact, it showed a great deal of immaturity going on. 

Ellacinders, anything we advised him to do when he was trolling around in these threads, it fell on deaf ears. He is going to do whatever he damn well please and his FB and his FB page alone. I hope one of these days he will say OOPS, I should have listened to those FJ viewers!

I hope he does not have a gal or dating anyone at this time or near future. 

[ellacinders]

Found quite a bit of information on men who are addicted to taking selfies, they are not only considered narcissistic, but psychopathic as well.  Seems to describe Russ perfectly.  

 

[EweSheep]

Ellacinders, you said it well!

[Fallgirl30]

Rusty's FB page is gone.  I went to one of his friend's page, and checked for him, not there.  Grown men who live out their lives on their pages amuse me.  It's a symptom of a much bigger problem though, because while it amuses me, he has menaced and scared the crap out of a number of women in real life.

[browncoatslytherin]

lol i wonder when it will be back  he can't help but love the attention he gets, positive or negative

[NeverAFundie]

I just checked, and his page is back up, with posts in the past few hours about "building his family tree."

My teenage daughter's most dramatic teenage friend doesn't pull her page and delete her own posts as frequently as good ol' Rusty.