Romantic History's Sarah Jane Leaves Husband- Part 3

[ellacinders]

Where I live, even if the non-custodial parent is a billion dollars in arrears on child support payments, the law clearly states that the child will not suffer the physical loss of the non-custodial parent as a result of said arrears.  It is fair and unfair at the same time.

Here, a parent can flagrantly violate support orders, then quit a job so that wages cannot be garnished, and put the custodial parent into heavens knows what kind of financial difficulties due to the loss, and STILL show up each weekend with a smile and a balloon and walk off to play with your child for two days.

For the custodial parent to deny visitation to the deadbeat can result in jail time for the custodial parent.

The only punishment for the deadbeat is a bad credit score.

Pretty crappy deal.  Hopefully the child will eventually be able to discern (even if it takes 40 years) the difference between the real parent, and the one who wore the disguise.

[MakeitSew]

According to Lauren's moms facebook, she owns/operates a housecleaning company. I believe she has appeared on television as a motivational speaker as well as been interviewed on local radio stations. From her facebook page she appears to be a very kind, positive, professional and well spoken lady. I don't know how Russ can accuse her of being a deadbeat mom, as he has often done in the past on his facebook page. She works, supports her four children, takes them to church, takes them on outings and seems like a very involved and loving parent. I don't think she is vindictive or a "sociopath narcissist" as Russ has described her. She even has friendly dealings with her ex husband, father of her older children, and his new wife and has spent a few holidays together with them so the kids can enjoy time with both parents together. 

Sadly, this admirable arrangement would never work with Russell as he has never worked with Lauren's mother but rather against her as a parent. 

How is he affording porn-star haircuts, shopping excursions, eating out? He's been out of work for 2 weeks now, right? Surely he must be running low on funds. 

I'm not positive how it works in IL but in my state if a non residential parent is ordered to pay child support, the order is good for 3 years unless a situation has occurred to warrant a sooner hearing to modify the order. In the case of loss of income (like quitting ones job) the situation has had to have been ongoing for at least six months before you can petition to modify the child support order. 

Russ still needs to pay up. And if he doesn't, there will be consequences. I believe loosing drivers license and FOID card are some of the consequences Russell may wish to avoid. 

[EweSheep]

^^^^^ YEP!!!! It sucks for the mom, mostly. But Lauren is better off with her than him by far. Same for SJ for her daughter. Imagine the mess Russ would be. I hope he will play it smart and get a vasectomy before he have another sexual relationship with another vulnerable woman out there.

In the state of IL, if he does not pay child support, or refuses to assist by court order, his driver's license will be suspended until he paid it in full. Or the state can garnish ANY wages he made OR when he files income tax, they will take that too. It would be financially crippling him.

If he has an FOID card, and a past history of assaults and numberous court crap, wouldn't that be revoked in the state of IL?

I agree with Sew, that Lauren's mom IS on friendly terms with her previous children's father. Something that divorcees should work out something. My aunt and her ex, shared responsibility and they respect each other, never called each other nasty names and the kids grew up and be successful in their careers, having a very stable life and beautiful families. I am sure Lauren's mom can guide them in the right direction. I have NO beef with her at all but she should be commended for her even headed decisions and plans. Thank you , Sew, in giving us some of her work places, which I only saw two pics of her with Lauren in broadcasting. Quite successful in her own right!

LOL to the quote of porn star's haircut LOL! It looked lopsided. Maybe it would help if he sits up straighter.

[closetcagebaby]

What is a FOID card? Some sort of ID?

[Bethella]

12 minutes ago, closetcagebaby said:

What is a FOID card? Some sort of ID?

Firearms Owners Identification Card, it's required to legally possess or purchase firearms or ammunition in IL.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FOID_%28firearms%29

[ellacinders]

Well he's yet again posting new sexy selfies going to the movies, which oddly he can afford on zero budget.  Yes, the restaurant lifestyle, bidding at auctions and movie dates with himself seem to come from cash grown on a tree outside his apartment.  Why work?

[MakeitSew]

Raintree Apartments were/are locally infamous for drug dealing. Surely he wouldn't stoop to that profession for quick, easy money. Or would he?

[closetcagebaby]

On 2/14/2016 at 7:32 PM, MakeitSew said:

Raintree Apartments were/are locally infamous for drug dealing. Surely he wouldn't stoop to that profession for quick, easy money. Or would he?

I DO wonder...those things cost money and there has to be some sort of income, right? I know he'd justify it somehow.

On 2/14/2016 at 6:33 PM, Bethella said:

Firearms Owners Identification Card, it's required to legally possess or purchase firearms or ammunition in IL.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FOID_%28firearms%29

Thanks! I am terrified honestly that he has one of those. 

[Bethella]

9 minutes ago, closetcagebaby said:

Thanks! I am terrified honestly that he has one of those. 

He would have had one while he was a police officer but I'm not sure he still has it. I would hope it was already revoked with all the legal stuff going on this last year.

[closetcagebaby]

11 minutes ago, Bethella said:

He would have had one while he was a police officer but I'm not sure he still has it. I would hope it was already revoked with all the legal stuff going on this last year.

You'd think, but given the political climate in most of the USA I sort of doubt it. 

[MakeitSew]

All those masculine hunting selfies and pictures of random woods and statuses he posted about looking for land to hunt on to kill squirrels last fall seems to indicate he still has his FOID card. Pretty sure I've seen a gun rack in the background of some of his pics, too. 

[SolomonFundy]

Based on an old blog post, Lauren's mom had issues with Russ for years after Lauren was born. He would frequently attempt to reconcile with her, then would exhibit controlling and verbally abusive behavior until she called it off again. Even after she made it clear that there would never be a relationship, he refused to take her "no" for an answer. On several occasions, he followed her to church, showed up unannounced at social gatherings, and would generally menace her. 

Sound familiar?

I don't know any details about his private life growing up, but it's clear that he has no idea how to treat a woman as a partner, and possibly even as a person.

[ellacinders]

I had my son when I was 20.  His father was 19.  We never married because I realized I could never take care of two babies, and I wasn't really sure I could handle even one.  I kept the cute one.  We broke up before he was born and never reconciled.  He and I have had many, many issues and court dates over the years. It was no picnic.  However, I see these guys like Russ and I have to go back and give credit to my son's father.

 He (at 19, with zero parental support of his own) got an attorney and made sure his parental rights were established.  A high school dropout, he didn't want his son to have an uneducated father so he took his GED and put himself through college. He rode the bus to pick our son up every week for his visitation as soon as his classes were over.  He never missed a visitation day.  

His parents were a disaster so he had no good parenting skills modeled for him, and he knew it.  So he borrowed parenting books from the library.

 He made our son's baby food.  He made all his meals.  They were healthy.  No fried food, no fast food, no crap.   He gave up his social life and stayed home with him at his college housing, took him to the park, played with him, he had him in bathed, read to and in bed at the same time each night. 

When our son was a toddler his father, of his own volition, researched preschools and found one on his campus that was outstanding and affordable, so our son attended and loved it.  

Were we perfect parents?  NO.  We fought a LOT.  I didn't always get my support checks, and most of the time, they were a mere fraction of what they were supposed to be.   But somehow we all made it through.  

Our son is 34 and trying to start a family of his own.  I look back and remember a boy, riding a bus with a baby every week, and all the things he gave up to be the father he himself never had, and compare him with guys like Russell.  There's just no comparison and I suppose that is why I hold such a low opinion of the guy.  

 

 

[EweSheep]

All that eating out, I am guessing, is his Dad supporting him? Paying for his meals?

To Ellacinders, you did GOOD, so did your son's dad! *applaud loudly* That is the kind of story that the men should have a wake up call and either they improve after the wake up call OR wallow themselves in pity.

[ellacinders]

Thank you, Ewe Sheep!  My son's dad has 4 children and has been married almost as many times as Liz Taylor.  He is not as good a husband as father.   BUT.....he has been there for all his children, he got real lucky with his current wife, who has stuck by him for over 20 years and through a lot of their own hell.  She considers his first three children to be her own, as well as their son.  And she came into this pretty late in the game, when the first three kids were a good bit older.  They're lucky kids.  And I appreciate what she has done for my son as much as what his dad did.

I think in many ways he did a much better job as a young parent than I did.  I had my mom to guide me, he had no one.

I wonder if Russ is living on credit cards? 

[bea]

I think you have to have a decent credit score, in order to get a credit card. And your credit score is, I believe, affected by things like nonpayment of child support.

I'm going to guess that Russ's dad is helping to support him. There is also state aid, though in Illinois these days, we can't even afford to pay the people who win the Lotto.

[browncoatslytherin]

19 minutes ago, bea said:

I think you have to have a decent credit score, in order to get a credit card. And your credit score is, I believe, affected by things like nonpayment of child support.

I'm going to guess that Russ's dad is helping to support him. There is also state aid, though in Illinois these days, we can't even afford to pay the people who win the Lotto.

unless he perhaps got a card before his credit score was dinged...then, as long as it ended up being paid, they probably don't care. of course, if this is the case, i can't imagine it will stay paid for very long.

[ellacinders]

Now he's extolling the virtues of quitting smoking and being healthy.  Glad you've stopped poisoning yourself, Russ.  Now go make your daughter something to eat that's green with roughage.

[fundiefan]

I have spent the day in bed with the plague and ended up reading the blog of Lauren's mom. I didn't read all of it because I felt guilty. I know it's public, but I wasn't reading for her - I was trolling on Russ and it just felt wrong. Before I let it get to me I did read a post about him that sent chills up my spine. Abuse. Narcissism. Fear. Disgust. 

He is a disturbed person and while I don't exactly think Sarah Jane is a stable, healthy, individual, I do think her keeping that baby from him is probably the only thing she can do, the only think possible for her safety and the safety of the baby. I don't think David is any better but I'm only giving credit for walking away from Russ. 

He is a scary, nasty, ugly piece of work and every human with self respect needs to steer clear. I feel dirty just having read about his level of horror.

[OhTheDrama]

My guess is that Russ got his tax return early. He'll live on it until he is broke and then look for a job.

Lauren's mom will tell anyone she used to be a mess. That's part of what she speaks about. The newer blog posts seem to come from someone much more positive and healthy.

[ellacinders]

What is her blog?

 

[ellacinders]

Oh, I found it and read through it.  My goodness, what I read about Russ does not surprise me in the least.  

[lawfulevil]

37 minutes ago, ellacinders said:

Oh, I found it and read through it.  My goodness, what I read about Russ does not surprise me in the least.  

Me neither. Can you imagine how painful and shitty it must be to have to turn Lauren over to that fuckhead?

[Fallgirl30]

I looked, can't find her blog.  Can someone lease provide the link?  Thanks!

[ellacinders]

http://promiseafterpromise.blogspot.com   

There are some items about Russ in her 2013 entries, and I think one in her 2014 entries.  I may have missed some because I quickly scanned through a lot of them.  Fortunately for her, she does not seem to dwell on him too much and I bet that pisses the hell out of him.  He's a real piece of work.