Jill Duggar Dillard Part 9: They slosh through the rain.

[guitar_villain]

3 minutes ago, Elvis Presby said:

We have a pool too.  It's nice to be able to play out there with the kids during the summer and have all that fun without having to leave the house, pack a pool bag, or have to worry whether or not we are swimming in pee.  

Because you're certain you are?

[Elvis Presby]

7 minutes ago, guitar_villain said:

Because you're certain you are?

I certainly always wonder!

[Handmaiden of Dog]

I got to thinking yesterday how badly Jill is handling her present situation.  She has a house with all the modern conveniences, one child, a town where probably most people speak a bit of English, grocery stores that carry familiar brands, even language teachers that came to her house-- and she still gave up on the classes.  How on earth is she going to handle life in a rural situation with primitive housing, strange local foods, and people unable to understand her primitive Spanish?  Derick must be worried. 

She has given up any attempt to do anything except be a mommy to one baby.  I don't think she is handling life in a foreign country very well nor do I think she is handling being a first time mom very well, especially considering her background as Sister Mom in a house full of kids.

[singsingsing]

Wait, when did she give up on language classes? I admittedly haven't been following the Dillards much lately, but I read back a few pages and must have missed this tidbit.

[KSmom]

1 hour ago, ClaraOswin said:

That's exactly it...there isn't a one size fits all parenting style because all children are so different. But people like the Duggars don't understand that. They do the same thing for each child. It's asinine to me. I still wonder what they would have done if a child had a disability. Or some sort of developmental delay. Or something like ADHD. Would they have altered their parenting style for that child? Doubtful.

I could like this a million times. One of the things that drives me crazy about the Duggars (and other fundies) is that they have missed out on so much of what is good about homeschooling. Yes, I am a Christian, but I chose to homeschool my kids precisely because I wanted each of them to get the individual education that was best for them. (And actually that is my core belief of what a parent's job is - to help each child to grow into the individual that they were created to be). 

So, I have a child who is an introverted book worm, 1 child who is ADHD, an artist, a computer nerd, and one who didn't like school but likes to tackle challenges.

I can't imagine ever treating or expecting the same things from all of them.

(BTW, they are all now quite capable and functioning adults)

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, KSmom said:

I could like this a million times. One of the things that drives me crazy about the Duggars (and other fundies) is that they have missed out on so much of what is good about homeschooling. Yes, I am a Christian, but I chose to homeschool my kids precisely because I wanted each of them to get the individual education that was best for them. (And actually that is my core belief of what a parent's job is - to help each child to grow into the individual that they were created to be). 

So, I have a child who is an introverted book worm, 1 child who is ADHD, an artist, a computer nerd, and one who didn't like school but likes to tackle challenges.

I can't imagine ever treating or expecting the same things from all of them.

(BTW, they are all now quite capable and functioning adults)

IMO, your approach would not work with 19 children. Nobody can adequately parent 19 children and produce 19 individual, final products. There are only 24 hours in each day.

That's one of the things that always left me scratching my head....for all the Duggars' talk of how special each kid is and how there could never be too many, in reality, each additional child just dilutes the pool; makes each child less special, IMO.

[MoonFace]

18 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

Walkers take up so much space too and babies are constantly running into shit. Terrible gifts lol

Neighbor left their cellar door open and the baby fell down the stairs.    Lucky she didn't get hurt too badly.   Could have been really bad. 

[HarleyQuinn]

3 minutes ago, MoonFace said:

Neighbor left their cellar door open and the baby fell down the stairs.    Lucky she didn't get hurt too badly.   Could have been really bad. 

Another great example. My  mother is one of those people who insisted I do every single thing with my child they way she did it with me when I was a baby.( Put him to sleep on his stomach!) She was livid when I said I wouldn't get a walker. (among other things I disagreed with) She kept telling me about how nice they are and I'm just like "No, I'll get him a toy shopping cart to walk behind or something, back off.

[ladyaudley]

English sockets are 3 pin and are quite a bit different. They also have an on and off switch. It's really easy to poke something into our sockets. Fortunately, we only use 110, not 240, except for major appliances.

Oh yeah, I forgot that the U.S. Has much lower voltage. I remember wondering why my phone took so long to charge!

[RosyDaisy]

A good Christian man will get off his ass and get a real job to support his family. If you can't provide for your family without grifting, you aren't fit for missionary work or leading anything.

I was one of those who had hopes for Derick, boy was I wrong. I also now think that Cathy has no reservations about any of this.

[2manyKidzzz]

I have no idea what Cathy thinks, but I bet she would have been thrilled if they had stayed in Arkansas and Derick had kept his good job. Of course Walmart did lay off many people. She can't be thrilled they are far away, grifting and in some sort of danger of violence. We really have no idea what her religious situation is. 

[HarleyQuinn]

Cathy almost seems to be enabling it. Going along on Duggar outings (Bates Wedding) or letting her cancel battle be filmed as a plot point. As normal as she seems, I've lost a lot of respect for the Dillars as a whole.

[older than allosaurs]

On 12/31/2015 at 8:53 AM, nastyhobbitses said:

How often do people with ptosis need surgery? I know Forest Whitaker has it and he's in his 50s and has never had it corrected. Is it because it doesn't bother him or affect his eyesight?

I've had a wonky eye since birth. It doesn't bother me, beyond being kind of funny looking, unless I'm really tired. That accentuates the droop and interferes with my contact lenses. I was told I might need surgery as I get older and everything sags more--I'm in my 60s and still holding out.

A plastic surgeon friend told me that the congenital droops are more complicated to correct than just an eyelid tuck that's used to tighted aging skin. I haven't researched it further. I tell myself it gives me something in common with Denzel Washington, though I admit it looks a lot better on him.

[JillyO]

I've long wondered why so many people here seem to think Cathy isn't 100 % on board with Derick's descent into fundamentalism. I don't see her as a voice of reason and normality at all. She has definitely been an enabler.

[Mrsaztx]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

IMO, your approach would not work with 19 children. Nobody can adequately parent 19 children and produce 19 individual, final products. There are only 24 hours in each day.

That's one of the things that always left me scratching my head....for all the Duggars' talk of how special each kid is and how there could never be too many, in reality, each additional child just dilutes the pool; makes each child less special, IMO.

As evidenced by how "special" they make it seem when for a birthday or whatever a child gets to go out to lunch with the parent and speak to them one on one. In my house with 3 children it wasn't a big special occasion to get an opportunity to speak to a parent uninterrupted, and going to lunch with them certainly was nice, but wasn't a cause for celebration because it was routine, as was having time with them in the car to sports practices, while making meals, you know, normal people stuff... it reminded me a little of when Kody Brown said "I would be able to name every one of my kids just from their baby photos!" Uhh, congrats, guy. But despite the fact that you think that makes you father of the year, any other parent would just call that "the bare minimum of parenting, right after not letting them starve to death"

[KSmom]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

IMO, your approach would not work with 19 children. Nobody can adequately parent 19 children and produce 19 individual, final products. There are only 24 hours in each day.

That's one of the things that always left me scratching my head....for all the Duggars' talk of how special each kid is and how there could never be too many, in reality, each additional child just dilutes the pool; makes each child less special, IMO.

I totally agree, and that is why you should not have more children than you can parent as individuals, because that is what they are!!

[Handmaiden of Dog]

3 hours ago, singsingsing said:

Wait, when did she give up on language classes? I admittedly haven't been following the Dillards much lately, but I read back a few pages and must have missed this tidbit.

Silverspoons December 18: http://www.freejinger.org/topic/24795-jill-duggar-dillard-part-8-they-call-him-choo-choo/?page=31

Quote

So Jill tells ET in an interview she can't go to language school anymore because it is too hard to juggle being a wife, mother and student. So the people donating are basically paying for her to be a stay at home mom?

Why can't she just say she wants to be a wife and mother and does not want to work. Her fan base would be happy to hear it.

My mistake.  I remembered the statement about her quitting the school classes and conflated that with stopping altogether.   However,  she is still arranging for lessons in the home.    How long she continues to do that or how effective that is is anybody's guess.  In the specials it appeared that Israel was a big distraction.

[RosyDaisy]

One thing I think we keep forgetting, is these people aren't having children because they love and want them. They are breeding and raising soldiers for God's army. They are part of batshit crazy movement led by batshit crazy leaders. I'm sure on some level they do love their kids, but probably not to the extent normal parents do.

This is not meant as a blanket statement. There are large families out there that are loving, caring, and can handle a dozen kids. The Duggars and their ilk aren't fit to take care of a pet rock, much less kids.

[artdecades]

1 hour ago, JillyO said:

I've long wondered why so many people here seem to think Cathy isn't 100 % on board with Derick's descent into fundamentalism. I don't see her as a voice of reason and normality at all. She has definitely been an enabler.

I am of this mind too. Yes she wears pants and works, but that doesn't mean much when she has enabled everything the Dullards do. She also seems to have gotten more religious after her health problems (or at least, more zealous).

[nastyhobbitses]

17 minutes ago, artdecades said:

I am of this mind too. Yes she wears pants and works, but that doesn't mean much when she has enabled everything the Dullards do. She also seems to have gotten more religious after her health problems (or at least, more zealous).

I think she's got a lot of factors that make her an enabler: she may be still very taken with the "whee I'm on TV" stuff, she really wants to be connected to her children/grandchildren and will go along with Derick's zealotry to maintain her relationship with him and Israel (plus she's always been quite religious, it seems), and she's been through a great amount of personal upheaval/tragedy and religion is a source of support, structure, and explanation.

[2manyKidzzz]

Well I dont know what Cathy thinks or believes, but if you go against your son and his fundie wife and push back on their ideas, you won't be  seeing as much of your grandchild. What can she do? She loves her son and grandson. I'm sure if I were in that position, after I questioned things once, I would shut my mouth. What would be the point of dissenting but to ostracize yourself from your child and his family. Most adult children do not sit around asking their parents for advice. 

[Bad Wolf]

12 minutes ago, 2manyKidzzz said:

Well I dont know what Cathy thinks or believes, but if you go against your son and his fundie wife and push back on their ideas, you won't be  seeing as much of your grandchild. What can she do? She loves her son and grandson. I'm sure if I were in that position, after I questioned things once, I would shut my mouth. What would be the point of dissenting but to ostracize yourself from your child and his family. Most adult children do not sit around asking their parents for advice. 

And when you're the MIL you have to be extra careful. I'm sure Michelle gave lots of unsolicited advice to Anna, but of course, that's different. 

[2manyKidzzz]

I also remember Cathy talking early on about how she never talked to her boys about courtships, but pointed out to them that dating endless young women was going to be expensive, so be thoughtful about it. She sounded level headed and that was good advice.

Young people do not follow advice about dating. But they might take things under advisement. Who knows. 

I reallly like Cathy and feel badly for her that her son and grandson are in SintralAmerica and there will be some sort of violence where they will be. I would personally be quite unhappy about that situation for myself and my family. 

[MatthewDuggar]

6 hours ago, SassyPants said:

Funny that the Duggars made their living for a decade + on the fact that they have 19 children, when in reality, they have always viewed their offspring as ONE. 

Those kids have always been seen as 1 unit- not individuals.

I do not believe that any 1 couple can successfully, adequately or safely parent 19 individual children to adulthood.

You obviously missed the season when J'chelle somehow managed to take 20 minutes out of her day to spend time one-on-one with each of the kids.  The voice-overs and talking heads were of her describing their individual qualities....

Of course, this was all set up thanks to TLC.

I just watched the Kate Plus Eight Mother's Day special episode....  I'll give her credit, she knows her kids well as individuals.  Mady is so like her mom it's hilarious!

[SassyPants]

2 hours ago, RosyDaisy said:

One thing I think we keep forgetting, is these people aren't having children because they love and want them. They are breeding and raising soldiers for God's army. They are part of batshit crazy movement led by batshit crazy leaders. I'm sure on some level they do love their kids, but probably not to the extent normal parents do.

This is not meant as a blanket statement. There are large families out there that are loving, caring, and can handle a dozen kids. The Duggars and their ilk aren't fit to take care of a pet rock, much less kids.

I think because Gothardism was hidden from the viewing public, many people forget that all the breeding is in a quest to populate the world with their "kind of people."