Has anyone read Elishaba Hale's memoir? (Papa Pilgrim family)

[PennySycamore]

FUCK Cancer, especially brain cancer! My sister had glioblastoma multiforme and basically no one survives more than a few years.  I am so sorry that Elishaba has this.  She has been through so much.

[JermajestyDuggar]

12 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

FUCK Cancer, especially brain cancer! My sister had glioblastoma multiforme and basically no one survives more than a few years.  I am so sorry that Elishaba has this.  She has been through so much.

I hope she can fight it for as long as possible. Her kids need her. 

I will add her friends also need her. Plus I hope her family can put their hurt aside and get back in touch. 

[NachosFlandersStyle]

God, that's rough. I really hope she has a good support system. There are plenty of people on Facebook praying for her but I don't know how many are in AK to help her in person.

[Maggie Mae]

Here's a new article about Elishaba and her cancer. Heartbreaking that she thinks cancer could be due to being hit in the head. And how confusing her death will be for her son. 

https://www.adn.com/alaska-news/2024/04/30/the-eldest-daughter-of-papa-pilgrim-shared-her-story-of-survival-now-she-faces-a-new-battle-brain-cancer/

On 3/7/2024 at 7:40 AM, NachosFlandersStyle said:

God, that's rough. I really hope she has a good support system. There are plenty of people on Facebook praying for her but I don't know how many are in AK to help her in person.

It sounds like she has a support network in her Church. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I’m really glad a couple of her siblings visited her after brain surgery. I hope a few more can get back in contact with her before she dies. I’m sure Joseph and Joshua won’t. They seem to be the most angry about the book. But a lot of the younger siblings might be less resentful. I hope they reconnect. 

[PopRox]

I started reading it, but I don't know if I will finish it I got as far as the part where

Spoiler

her dad throws her beloved kitten against a wall

and then said "I think I need to take a break from reading this." I know it's going to get worse from there, and it will be a hard read!

Edited May 1 by PopRox

[postscript]

I read her book after this thread was initially posted. It’s a gripping but difficult read which needs to come with every possible trigger warning. Robert Hale was a horrible, horrible man. 

Elishaba is beyond courageous for getting out of a terrible situation, writing about it as openly as she did, and retaining her faith after all the horrendous things she’s experienced. I can understand why some of the siblings might be upset with her for speaking out, but hopefully they will eventually come to understand. I also hope that some of them will be able to reconcile and stand by her during the health crisis. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

She’s talking about a YouTube video by Summer Sanchez all about Papa Pilgrim. I’ve seen it and it is thorough. Under the video, there are multiple comments by Hale siblings shaming Summer for making the video. 

[closetcagebaby]

I don’t know that I could face all of what she went through and still remain a decent, kind, together person. She really is so strong. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

57 minutes ago, closetcagebaby said:

I don’t know that I could face all of what she went through and still remain a decent, kind, together person. She really is so strong. 

It also seems like she has some really great kids too. You can tell they love her. 

[Hane]

It’s heartbreaking, after all she went through in her family of origin and her brave escape, that she should be faced with this horrendous diagnosis and rejection by her mother and siblings.

But, realistically, how could we expect a nice, neat happily ever after when kids are raised in such terrifying dysfunction? It put all of them in survival mode, affecting their cognitive functioning in ways most of us could never understand.

The former wife of Papa Pilgrim’s identical twin brother, Patsy Dorris Hale, wrote her own memoir, “He Heard His Brother Call His Name,” which depicts the harrowing story of what happened when “Billy Pilgrim” fell under his sway.

Another, even more comprehensive book about this monster, is “Pilgrim’s Wilderness,” by Tom Kizzia. It’s next up on my reading list.

 

Edited May 24 by Hane

[JermajestyDuggar]

39 minutes ago, Hane said:

It’s heartbreaking, after all she went through in her family of origin and her brave escape, that she should be faced with this horrendous diagnosis and rejection by her mother and siblings.

But, realistically, how could we expect a nice, neat happily ever after when kids are raised in such terrifying dysfunction? It put all of them in survival mode, affecting their cognitive functioning in ways most of us could never understand.

The former wife of Papa Pilgrim’s identical twin brother, Patsy Dorris Hale, wrote her own memoir, “He Heard His Brother Call His Name,” which depicts the harrowing story of what happened when “Billy Pilgrim” fell under his sway.

Another, even more comprehensive book about this monster, is “Pilgrim’s Wilderness,” by Tom Kizzia. It’s next up on my reading list.

 

Some of the comments I’ve seen from some of the siblings is how successful they are as adults. I think they hate being seen as victims. And I understand those feelings. They seem to want to completely put it in the past. But obviously part of Elisheba’s healing is speaking out about it. I’m not surprised she’s had therapy. I think it would be very helpful for the siblings to see a therapist. But I doubt they want to. 

[AverageGiraffe]

42 minutes ago, Hane said:

It’s heartbreaking, after all she went through in her family of origin and her brave escape, that she should be faced with this horrendous diagnosis and rejection by her mother and siblings.

But, realistically, how could we expect a nice, neat happily ever after when kids are raised in such terrifying dysfunction? It put all of them in survival mode, affecting their cognitive functioning in ways most of us could never understand.

The former wife of Papa Pilgrim’s identical twin brother, Patsy Dorris Hale, wrote her own memoir, “He Heard His Brother Call His Name,” which depicts the harrowing story of what happened when “Billy Pilgrim” fell under his sway.

Another, even more comprehensive book about this monster, is “Pilgrim’s Wilderness,” by Tom Kizzia. It’s next up on my reading list.

 

I just added Patsy's book to my reading list. I've read Pilgrim's Wilderness, it's excellent. 

[NachosFlandersStyle]

Elishaba posted that after seeing a few more specialists for advanced testing, it seems her tumor is a less aggressive type than originally diagnosed. It sounds like it's still serious but she has a longer life expectancy and a slightly higher chance that it will respond to chemo. Good for her, she deserves a little good news.

[hoipolloi]

On 5/24/2024 at 4:49 AM, Hane said:

The former wife of Papa Pilgrim’s identical twin brother, Patsy Dorris Hale, wrote her own memoir, “He Heard His Brother Call His Name,” which depicts the harrowing story of what happened when “Billy Pilgrim” fell under his sway.

Another, even more comprehensive book about this monster, is “Pilgrim’s Wilderness,” by Tom Kizzia. It’s next up on my reading list.

Seconding these recommendations. When I read it, Patsy's book was free on Kindle Unlimited. She & the Hale brothers essentially grew up together in TX so she was also around during Bobby Haleʻs "marriage" to Gov John Connolly's daughter that ended in her suspicious death. Kizziaʻs book is much better written and focuses on the AK events although he provides a lot of pre-AK background. Both books are worth reading if you want to understand more about how so many people could fall under Robert Hale's control and stay there for so long. He was a truly evil human being. If there is a hell, I hope that he is in it. 

Re: Elishaba's estranged family. It seems to me that many of them have never come to terms with what happened or their roles in it, especially her mother.

ETA: on her FB page, she mentions and recommends this YT video on her familyʻs story.

Edited June 4 by hoipolloi

[JermajestyDuggar]

18 minutes ago, hoipolloi said:

Seconding these recommendations. When I read it, Patsy's book was free on Kindle Unlimited. She & the Hale brothers essentially grew up together in TX so she was also around during Bobby Haleʻs "marriage" to Gov John Connolly's daughter that ended in her suspicious death. Kizziaʻs book is much better written and focuses on the AK events although he provides a lot of pre-AK background. Both books are worth reading if you want to understand more about how so many people could fall under Robert Hale's control and stay there for so long. He was a truly evil human being. If there is a hell, I hope that he is in it. 

Re: Elishaba's estranged family. It seems to me that many of them have never come to terms with what happened or their roles in it, especially her mother.

ETA: on her FB page, she mentions and recommends this YT video on her familyʻs story.

If you look at comments under Sommer’s video, there are multiple Hale siblings bashing her. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

So glad she got some good news: 

[Hane]

Resurrecting this thread to mention that I just read the shattering memoir Unspeakable, by Jessica Willis Fisher. It’s the story of the abuse (sexual, physical, emotional, and financial) that she, her siblings, and her mother suffered under her father Toby Willis, patriarch of the Willis Family singers.

It’s jarring to see how the sick power structures in the Hale and Willis families were virtually identical: Big man father with a “dream,” Christian patriarchy, the “dream” being realized on the backs and hard work of the wife and kids, non-stop childbearing, the denigration of the wife and mother as unattractive and less-than, the oldest daughter promoted to “favorite” and sex slave.

In “Unspeakable,” Jessica’s husband, who was part of the same home-churching group as her family was before the two of them married, went online for information about the messed-up family dynamics she was raised in, and was shocked to learn how prevalent this kind of abuse was in circles like theirs.