Maxwell Thanksgiving Post

[princessmahina]

Well...there are different personalities out there. When I was married to my ex we were in our early twenties and, he had one older sister and although she lived a plane ride away from her childhood home due to her job, she called to check in with her parents every single day at the same time no matter what. For Christmas, she would come home for 2 weeks every year and stay in her childhood room that still had cartoon sheets on the bed and Disney murals on the wall. Nothing ever changed. Her parents also spent their vacations only visiting her or still going on family vacations just the 3 of them. She never had a significant other, never did anything that didn't involve mommy and daddy. I remember her calling her parents one night with a big announcement, she had bought a couch. I was 5 years younger than this person living an entirely different life. She was part of some church she never shut up about. This was before I knew about fundies. According to this church, your first kiss should be on your wedding day so I guess it was fundie. All this to say, I could picture her strapped in the car with mom and dad looking at christmas lights. Smiling hugely. 

This reminds me of my aunt. She calls her mother every day, sometimes multiple times a day to talk about random stuff. And when I say random stuff, I mean "my shoes are squeaking and I thought it was weird" kind of random stuff. They do just about everything together- except church, because my aunt joined some culty church (not fundie, but weird, and takes up a lot of time). They have an odd relationship. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

Right here I can see that you're doing it all wrong. Have your men not been called home to work? Are your children not being home schooled? Well, THEY SHOULD BE! Boyfriends? BOYFRIENDS?!? And social lives? Is the family not enough? There should be no need for outside "friends" to lead you astray. Now once you correct these errors I see no reason why you wouldn't be able to schedule time to cram everyone into the car (properly dressed, please) to go look at the lights and listen to bible crap. So get on it, willya?

see here's the thing...if the Lord laid it upon my son's hearts to work from home and there was no bf and she became a sahd...they would be here ALL THE TIME.

i love them, don't get me wrong...but that's a little much. We're not the kind of family that could withstand that kind of togetherness without my developing a drinking problem...and Pepsi wouldn't be the issue.

[Rowan]

This reminds me of my aunt. She calls her mother every day, sometimes multiple times a day to talk about random stuff. And when I say random stuff, I mean "my shoes are squeaking and I thought it was weird" kind of random stuff. They do just about everything together- except church, because my aunt joined some culty church (not fundie, but weird, and takes up a lot of time). They have an odd relationship. 

I do talk to my mom almost every day, although not about such random things. Mostly I get updates on my niece and nephew, complain about work, talk about my MA program (9 days to go!!!) and wedding plans. I had started to wean her off of the almost-daily phone calls, and then my father died suddenly right after Christmas a number of years ago. It was a day until the family discovered that he was gone (he lived alone and his work was closed for the holidays), party because my grandma couldn't get ahold of him. So if I get fed up and stop talking to her for a few days, I get the guilt trip. It's ok, we do have more of a friends relationship at this point (I'm in my mid-30s) although sometimes with the wedding planning lately.....yes, I do want cheetah-print shoes and I'm willing to spend some money and time to try out the technique of fabric-covering shoes I found on the internet to get them, because what I want doesn't exist! And I'm allowed to want that, since I'm paying for the wedding and am not being a bridezilla on other things, especially ones that affect other people. 

 

But yeah, I know we are unusual. Not a Gilmore Girls mother/daughter relationship, but not enmeshed and tied to apron strings either. 

[FloraKitty35]

Steve Maxwell makes me thankful that my late control freak father was never religious.  Also, that agree on everything shtick wouldn't have gone.  Daddy liked arguments and Maxhell have bored him sick. 

[socalrules]

I don't think the driving around to look at Christmas lights as a family is weird. My mom and I used to do this all the time until she got sick, even when i was well into adulthood. There are some great neighborhoods here with amazing light displays and it was a lot of fun. I wish we could still do it. I can find a lot of reasons to snark on the Maxwells or any fundy family but I don't think everything single thing they do is weird. 

[Trynn]

I think it's weird they're driving instead of walking. My adult cousins and grandma and I might drive to a nice neighborhood with light displays, but then we'd park the car somewhere and take a walk. The city they live in also puts on a really elaborate light display every year we always go to.

[nickelodeon]

I just close my eyes and imagine being a local Kansas man bringing the mail in at 2 PM, then seeing this shady van scooting down the street at 3 mph, packed full of men and women gazing at your house and getting all Buddy The Elf over the string of lights on your porch, which will not be lit for another four hours. Amazing.

[DaffyDill]

I think they're (Teri and Mr Teri) are definitely hoping John takes himself a wife soon. He's often pictured at a family function (is there any other kind of function for a Maxwell?) with a niece or nephew on his lap, and don't forget he can cook! Remember the famous chocolate chunk pie? I mean, he does seem like a loving, involved uncle, but they do include pictures of him with various littles on his lap.

And now Sarah writes:   

• I’m grateful for John’s love of little children. He values them and enjoys spending time with his nieces and nephews.

I think that's a little odd coming from her, as it's not as if they're her kids he's helping with. It's possible the parents want the slightly wayward son to buy himself a home locally, get himself a good woman and settle down, and remain in the fold, and out of the good paddock he's been in, judging by his paunch.

Run John!! And find someone fun!

[CyborgKin]

Nothing says "We kept our children's hearts!" better than a photo of five adult children strapped into the back of a car, being driven around to look at the neighbourhood Christmas lights...

http://blog.titus2.com/2015/11/30/12-voices-of-christmas-memories-that-last/

 

I want to snark at this but I don't think I should cast the first stone while still living in a glass house.  (Today I'm having my metaphors shaken, not stirred.)

[OldFadedStar]

Since my parents live in the same area as the maxwells, I feel like I should share a little bit about the area. They said that they are going to be driving to Kansas City to see the lights... Kansas City is a good 45-60 minute drive from the area they are in.. maybe even a bit longer if they go to the south eastern parts. It also gets dark relatively quickly. It could easily be bright as day when they leave and getting pretty dark by the time they get to their location. 

 

Or it could be as crazy as it appears.

My parents live only a few blocks from them I think. According to what Ive seen. 

[CyborgKin]

see here's the thing...if the Lord laid it upon my son's hearts to work from home and there was no bf and she became a sahd...they would be here ALL THE TIME.

The message I'm getting from this is that your son has multiple hearts and is female.

[anniebgood]

Yeah, it's like when I go home for Christmas and sleep in my old bedroom. It's nostalgic and weird and comforting and disconcerting all at the same time.

Being a Maxwell kidult must be like spending eternity trapped in your childhood bedroom.

My daughter comes home from Chicago maybe 2x a year. She sleeps in her old room, which still has some junk she didn't take with her. But at the Christmas break, we're lucky if we see her. She's a social butterfly and sees all of her old friends. I am telling her this year, I get one whole day with her. Since I paid for her tickets it's not much to ask. Her brother who is older still lives at home, but he's on unemployment and can't afford to move out. But he'd better get a job soon because he's driving me nuts. 

[FloraDoraDolly]

I don't think the driving around to look at Christmas lights as a family is weird. My mom and I used to do this all the time until she got sick, even when i was well into adulthood. There are some great neighborhoods here with amazing light displays and it was a lot of fun. I wish we could still do it. I can find a lot of reasons to snark on the Maxwells or any fundy family but I don't think everything single thing they do is weird. 

I like driving around to look at Christmas lights. I usually go with friends, though. A couple of times, I went with my sister and her friends, but she isn't interested in doing things like that anymore.

[Anonymousguest]

I was thinking if I wanted all my kids to come with me to look at lights we would have to plan months in advance to be sure no one was working,  off with friends,  on a date,  etc.  But then I remembered we are talking about the maxwell s, and I realized they probably did plan it months ago,  lol. I don't think they have done it yet this year,  I think this is an old photo. 

[Jana814]

I love looking at Christmas lights.  Being that I'm Jewish it's actually kind of funny. When I was kid my sister & I use to count them on the way home from Hebrew School. 

[lilith]

I was thinking if I wanted all my kids to come with me to look at lights we would have to plan months in advance to be sure no one was working,  off with friends,  on a date,  etc.  But then I remembered we are talking about the maxwell s, and I realized they probably did plan it months ago,  lol. I don't think they have done it yet this year,  I think this is an old photo. 

Months ago? They planned it YEARS ago and carefully schedule it into each years calendar, same time and date, sane route, same CD in the car, same scheduled hot chocolate upon return to Maxhell.

I talk to my mum most days, even if neither of us have anything much to say. It's just the relationship we have. When j was younger and when I was working full time I talked to her less, maybe once a week, but while I'm a SAHM we talk a lot more

[Eternalbluepearl]

Do you guys think that the Maxwells are looking for someone to court Sarah? Or do you think they believe that the right guy will just show up in their ultra-scheduled, stay-at-home lives?

[blessalessi]

In the fundie world, potential husbands are supposed to approach the father as the first step towards courtship. 

I think I have read threads where various Maxwell insiders have hinted that Sarah has had offers in the past, but that each time there were reasons found not to proceed.  Anyone can post anything on FreeJinger though, so I don't know if those "insiders" were ever legit.

Given that Steve hears from the Lord for the whole family, I guess he is the only one who truly knows whether Sarah has or will ever have a mate of her own.

[usmcmom]

I was thinking if I wanted all my kids to come with me to look at lights we would have to plan months in advance to be sure no one was working,  off with friends,  on a date,  etc.  But then I remembered we are talking about the maxwell s, and I realized they probably did plan it months ago,  lol. I don't think they have done it yet this year,  I think this is an old photo. 

Yes, but your family clearly...you know....HAS JOBS.  Teri writes this:

We would find an available evening in December to drive around Kansas City looking at Christmas lights while listening to the 12 Voices of Christmas

...and I have to wonder just how hard it is to find an available evening when nobody has a job or a social life outside "The Family." Seriously, it's not like one of them is a trauma surgeon on call, or a teacher finishing lesson plans before Christmas, or even a young adult with parties scheduled with his/her friends. 

I do have to laugh at the scenario if it played out at our house with two adult married children.  "Hey kids, let's bundle up and drive around to see the lights! Maybe get a Starbucks while we're out."  Daughter:  "Yes! I'm in!  Let me find my scarf! And my camera!  I'm getting a Venti...."  Son: "Um...NO! No, no, no, no, no. That is not happening.  But bring me a latte." 

 

[nastyhobbitses]

Yes, but your family clearly...you know....HAS JOBS.  Teri writes this:

We would find an available evening in December to drive around Kansas City looking at Christmas lights while listening to the 12 Voices of Christmas

...and I have to wonder just how hard it is to find an available evening when nobody has a job or a social life outside "The Family." Seriously, it's not like one of them is a trauma surgeon on call, or a teacher finishing lesson plans before Christmas, or even a young adult with parties scheduled with his/her friends. 

I do have to laugh at the scenario if it played out at our house with two adult married children.  "Hey kids, let's bundle up and drive around to see the lights! Maybe get a Starbucks while we're out."  Daughter:  "Yes! I'm in!  Let me find my scarf! And my camera!  I'm getting a Venti...."  Son: "Um...NO! No, no, no, no, no. That is not happening.  But bring me a latte." 

 

In my family (plus visiting extended family), it would be something like:

"Hey everyone, let's go bundle up and drive around to look at the lights! We can listen to NPR while we drive and maybe we'll stop by Starbucks on the way!"

"Do we have enough designated drivers?"

"....Fuck it, let's drink more wine and nearly get into a brawl over whether Mark Bittman or Ina Garten is a better cookbook writer."

[AmazonGrace]

 

Something reminded me of this song.

A family excursion with grown kids to look at some lights seems like lovely and sad at the same time.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

I don't think they've been looking at lights yet this year. I think Teri just wrote the post and went looking for a photo of the children in the van to go with the post. It's too bad they didn't take the time to stage a photo of all of them wearing matching scarves and hats and mittens. Oh, well, there's always next year.

the mittens must be clipped to their coats!  (Who am I kidding...I just threatened my 22 year old with this if she loses another set.

[SassyPants]

Living at home, not working or having any independent life when you're over 30 yo is dysfunctional. Yep, call me judgmental and painting with a wide brush.

Living at home as an adult because all parties jointly agree and being an independent participating member of society, totally different.

That picture is creepy. It's as if the parents refuse to let those kids grow up and move on with life. Sarah is never getting married, folks.

[Eternalbluepearl]

It's as if the parents refuse to let those kids grow up and move on with life. Sarah is never getting married, folks.

It makes me sad. I want her to have her own life away from Steve. Wait. Even if she did marry, there is no "away from Steve." And just think, the Maxwells are the Shupes' idols! This is what they WANT.... 

[mango_fandango]

It makes me sad. I want her to have her own life away from Steve. Wait. Even if she did marry, there is no "away from Steve." And just think, the Maxwells are the Shupes' idols! This is what they WANT.... 

At least the Maxwells have a decent sized house. Imagine nine grown adults in the Shupe household. I know we've disputed the reported 1100 sq ft of space in the Shupe house, but it's still tiny. I wonder if Anna Marie will be made to sleep on the trundle when she's 20-odd? Poor girl's never known a proper bed.