Maxwell Thanksgiving Post

[gustava]

Actually, I was waiting for Sarah to explain how they drive around and condemn all those Christmas lights and people who own them, because they.are.not.about.Jesus. You know, kind of like when they took the family to airport to look at people and their sinful clothes because their own frumpers were so much more Godly.

Her next blog post.

[MissBitters]

So Steve is most thankful that his youngest son, likes to read the bible and is anti-abortion.  Wow...

Only Steve could connect abortion with Thanksgiving.

Couldn't those two things apply to all the Maxwells? Steve really didn't try hard enough to find something unique about his son to praise. Then again, Steve and Teri have tried their damnedest to make sure their children have no individuality. 

[Handmaiden of Dog]

Oh that picture is so snarkable.

First, it does look too bright out for Christmas lights to be on.  Also, I'm thinking the vast majority of households have not yet decorated so driving around looking at lights is going to be a bit of a wasted journey.  Either this was taken last year, or for a different event, or this is a posed picture.

I don't know how cold it is in Kansas after dark in December, but the kidults are clearly not dressed for being outside. "Everyone just stay in the car!"

John is crammed into that space.  Look at how his arm is way over on top of Anna and it doesn't look like Sarah would have much room to sit back.  It would have made more sense for Jesse and John to share a row together and then the three girls would fit more comfortably.  Were the seating choices left up to them? Did they just pile in, take a group photo, and then go back to whatever they were doing?  Because I am voting for a completely staged photo for this blog entry.

Finally, I have to wonder how many of their customer/fans/blog readers get a sinking feeling at the sight of so many adults in the back of Mom and Dad's car.  This is not a future many people would choose for their kids.  Yeah, it would be one thing if they were all teenagers, but 20 and 30 somethings?  That's just sad. I would guess that most fundie Christians want to retain their children's hearts and avoid rebellious teenagers but they also don't want to end up with 5 grown children still living at home, some of them with no future prospects other than living with Mom and Dad until death.

[Odd1Out]

Nothing says "We kept our children's hearts!" better than a photo of five adult children strapped into the back of a car, being driven around to look at the neighbourhood Christmas lights...

http://blog.titus2.com/2015/11/30/12-voices-of-christmas-memories-that-last/

 

 

Except for the pic of them strapped in the van with their mini Blizzards from DQ that daddy treated them to for being good boys and girls and cleaning the garage  

[johnhugh]

The poor fuckers having to listen to that for the eleventy time, and I bet if one of them coughs  or talks, Stevie starts the CD from the beginning again.

 The good children; 'I love my daddy' and the Jessie get to sit on the back seats, whilst Stud John is strapped in behind Teri. 

Why didn't the grandparents instead take the grandchildren or it could have been an outing for elderly from the elderly church? 

[Fascinated]

I could see us having a picture like this, too. Except:

1) our children have spouses we'd want to cram in there

2) our kids would actually decline invitation to drive around with us in daylight viewing Christmas lights, as they are grown men

3) as our children are, in fact, adults, we no longer even need a van

4) the people on this excursion would be our grandchildren

5) ok, we would not have a photo such as this

[MamaJunebug]

 

I don't know how cold it is in Kansas after dark in December, but the kidults are clearly not dressed for being outside. "Everyone just stay in the car!"[\quote]

 

haindmsiden of dog, I figured that out for you: they were going to Kansas City to look at lights, about a 25-minute drive, so they may well have left while still daylight. It gets dark by 5 pm in Kansas these days. And yes, it's coat weather.  And their coats  could be balled up at their feet -- they're down , right? Easy to squash up. 

 I call shenanigans on them going right after T-giving, though:  there was an ice storm that affected especially the northern part of the KC Metro, and Leavenworth is north(west) of that. 

[Eternalbluepearl]

Why didn't they take the grand kids instead?

[Dru]

Why didn't they take the grand kids instead?

I'm guessing because even the grand-kids have more of a life than the unmarrieds.

[sparkles]

Adults or not, in typical Maxwell fashion, they can't even do something as simple and enjoyable as driving around enjoying the lights (which I'm sure the lord laid on their hearts after much praying, fasting and flagellation, so they worked it into the schedule). No, they've got to tie it into listening to some bible crap because Jesus 24/7/365.

[Eternalbluepearl]

It must really piss Steve off that much of the light displays they will see will include Santas, elves and snowmen. 

[sparkles]

It must really piss Steve off that much of the light displays they will see will include Santas, elves and snowmen. 

Is it wrong of me to hope that they have at least one neighbor who goes completely OTT with giant inflatable Homer Simpson Santas, enough lights to see from space and all the rest of that heathen crap? It would make me so happy…

[nausicaa]

Nothing says "We kept our children's hearts!" better than a photo of five adult children strapped into the back of a car, being driven around to look at the neighbourhood Christmas lights...

http://blog.titus2.com/2015/11/30/12-voices-of-christmas-memories-that-last/

 

It's not even dark, possibly because that would mean being out during dinner and bible time! 

This is the audio they have listened to, in the back of the car, for 15 Christmases.  With no sense of irony, second up is the "Voice of Disbelief".

http://www.backtothebible.org/the-twelve-voices-of-christmas

I forget sometimes just how weird the Maxwell family set up is until I see a picture like that. Five adults strapped in for a family trip. And of course Mom and Dad just got them all settled in, so no one can take their seat belt off for the picture. 

Also, does anyone else think the only thing worse than having five adults at home is if they start getting married off one by one and then there are only one or two of them strapped in the back of Mom's van? The dread must be terrible for them, wondering who gets to escape next and who will be stuck. It's like a fundie version of Agatha Christie's Ten Little Indians. 

Is it wrong of me to hope that they have at least one neighbor who goes completely OTT with giant inflatable Homer Simpson Santas, enough lights to see from space and all the rest of that heathen crap? It would make me so happy…

I hope a couple of high school kids have already made their rounds pranking the displays, and so the Maxwell's have to see more than one set of reindeer in flagrante delicto. 

[Handmaiden of Dog]

The more I think about this picture, the more sad I get for the Maxwell non-marrieds. All 5 kids living at home present and accounted for therefore nobody had a busy schedule and couldn't go, nobody could just say "No thanks, not this year.  You guys go on without me."  Mom and Dad choose the route, Mom and Dad get to sit in front, Mom and Dad choose the listening material.  Sure they want us to believe that all 5 kids are thrilled to be crammed into a car to go look at lights and they all love the religious message, but really?  I know people, I know families.  I've never met a family where every single person loves exactly the same thing.  It just isn't possible.  One or more of them is putting on a smile and being obedient because NOT being a good, obedient child carries penalties-- whether it is Dad being cruel or Mom being passive-aggressive.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

The more I think about this picture, the more sad I get for the Maxwell non-marrieds. All 5 kids living at home present and accounted for therefore nobody had a busy schedule and couldn't go, nobody could just say "No thanks, not this year.  You guys go on without me."  Mom and Dad choose the route, Mom and Dad get to sit in front, Mom and Dad choose the listening material.  Sure they want us to believe that all 5 kids are thrilled to be crammed into a car to go look at lights and they all love the religious message, but really?  I know people, I know families.  I've never met a family where every single person loves exactly the same thing.  It just isn't possible.  One or more of them is putting on a smile and being obedient because NOT being a good, obedient child carries penalties-- whether it is Dad being cruel or Mom being passive-aggressive.

Yep - we did this when the kids were small and being bundled into the car in warm jammies with cocoa in travel cups was high adventure.  Mr. Buffy and I still like driving around to look at lights (and yes, I still wear jammie pants with cocoa in a travel mug) but if we tried to make it a family affair with the young adult kiddos...ugh.  5 work schedules, 3 school schedules, one boyfriend, three social lives...we might find ten minutes by next June where we're all free at the same time so they can all bitch in unison.

Think people would keep their lights up until then to accommodate us?

[nokidsmom]

Finally, I have to wonder how many of their customer/fans/blog readers get a sinking feeling at the sight of so many adults in the back of Mom and Dad's car.  This is not a future many people would choose for their kids.  Yeah, it would be one thing if they were all teenagers, but 20 and 30 somethings?  That's just sad. I would guess that most fundie Christians want to retain their children's hearts and avoid rebellious teenagers but they also don't want to end up with 5 grown children still living at home, some of them with no future prospects other than living with Mom and Dad until death.

I personally don't know how those chidults can stand it.   Being treated as if you are young kids in the back seat of Mommy and Daddy's car?   Hell, I was forced to go on a family camping vacation at the age of 20 because my mom wanted one last family vacation like we had when we were kids.   Except we weren't kids and the experience was a whole lotta awkward, I hated it, it was by no means the same.

[banjobaby]

  I know people, I know families.  I've never met a family where every single person loves exactly the same thing.  It just isn't possible.  One or more of them is putting on a smile and being obedient because NOT being a good, obedient child carries penalties-- whether it is Dad being cruel or Mom being passive-aggressive.

That's because all of the families you know are doing it wrong.  Only, the Maxwells are perfect in every way.  They sheltered and scheduled their kids perfectly, and their kids are happy and CHOOSE to put on a smile!  

[Screamapillar]

I personally don't know how those chidults can stand it.   Being treated as if you are young kids in the back seat of Mommy and Daddy's car?   Hell, I was forced to go on a family camping vacation at the age of 20 because my mom wanted one last family vacation like we had when we were kids.   Except we weren't kids and the experience was a whole lotta awkward, I hated it, it was by no means the same.

Yeah, it's like when I go home for Christmas and sleep in my old bedroom. It's nostalgic and weird and comforting and disconcerting all at the same time.

Being a Maxwell kidult must be like spending eternity trapped in your childhood bedroom.

[sparkles]

Yep - we did this when the kids were small and being bundled into the car in warm jammies with cocoa in travel cups was high adventure.  Mr. Buffy and I still like driving around to look at lights (and yes, I still wear jammie pants with cocoa in a travel mug) but if we tried to make it a family affair with the young adult kiddos...ugh.  5 work schedules, 3 school schedules, one boyfriend, three social lives...we might find ten minutes by next June where we're all free at the same time so they can all bitch in unison.

Think people would keep their lights up until then to accommodate us?

Right here I can see that you're doing it all wrong. Have your men not been called home to work? Are your children not being home schooled? Well, THEY SHOULD BE! Boyfriends? BOYFRIENDS?!? And social lives? Is the family not enough? There should be no need for outside "friends" to lead you astray. Now once you correct these errors I see no reason why you wouldn't be able to schedule time to cram everyone into the car (properly dressed, please) to go look at the lights and listen to bible crap. So get on it, willya?

[Eternalbluepearl]

Well...there are different personalities out there. When I was married to my ex we were in our early twenties and, he had one older sister and although she lived a plane ride away from her childhood home due to her job, she called to check in with her parents every single day at the same time no matter what. For Christmas, she would come home for 2 weeks every year and stay in her childhood room that still had cartoon sheets on the bed and Disney murals on the wall. Nothing ever changed. Her parents also spent their vacations only visiting her or still going on family vacations just the 3 of them. She never had a significant other, never did anything that didn't involve mommy and daddy. I remember her calling her parents one night with a big announcement, she had bought a couch. I was 5 years younger than this person living an entirely different life. She was part of some church she never shut up about. This was before I knew about fundies. According to this church, your first kiss should be on your wedding day so I guess it was fundie. All this to say, I could picture her strapped in the car with mom and dad looking at christmas lights. Smiling hugely. 

[nokidsmom]

Well...there are different personalities out there. When I was married to my ex we were in our early twenties and, he had one older sister and although she lived a plane ride away from her childhood home due to her job, she called to check in with her parents every single day at the same time no matter what. For Christmas, she would come home for 2 weeks every year and stay in her childhood room that still had cartoon sheets on the bed and Disney murals on the wall. Nothing ever changed. Her parents also spent their vacations only visiting her. She never had a significant other, never did anything that didn't involve mommy and daddy. I remember her calling her parents one night with a big announcement, she had bought a couch. I was 5 years younger than this person living an entirely different life. There are these parent-centered people out there. It's odd. She was part of some church she never shut up about. This was before I knew about fundies. According to this church, your first kiss should be on your wedding day so I guess it was fundie. All this to say, I could picture her strapped in the car with mom and dad looking at christmas lights. Smiling hugely. 

This is my younger sister.  Nearly all her vacations since moving away have involved coming home to Mom and Dad, staying in her old room, cooking and cleaning for them like she did before she married and moved out (to much parental wringing of hands), and never going out to visit her old friends or relatives nearby because she literally was stuck in the house and expected to spend all her time with her parents.   Occasionally she would go on a vacation with her husband but she was always apologetic about not using that time to come back home.   The only traveling vacation my parents would take would be to visit her, even to the point that when my aunt asked my mom (her sister) when she would come to visit her after she moved out of state, my mom's answer that the only trips she would take would be to visit her daughter. 

[nokidsmom]

Yeah, it's like when I go home for Christmas and sleep in my old bedroom. It's nostalgic and weird and comforting and disconcerting all at the same time.

Being a Maxwell kidult must be like spending eternity trapped in your childhood bedroom.

The one and only time I spend a night under my parent's roof which was years after I moved out, it was indeed nostalgic and disconcerting at the same time.  I felt a bit removed from it, like I had outgrown this but that's probably how you should normally feel, I guess. 

As someone who came from a Maxwellian type family I would find still living in my childhood bedroom to be a fate worse than death.

 

[nastyhobbitses]

Yeah, it's like when I go home for Christmas and sleep in my old bedroom. It's nostalgic and weird and comforting and disconcerting all at the same time.

Being a Maxwell kidult must be like spending eternity trapped in your childhood bedroom.

Let's do it on my twin bed (twin bed)!

[Jingerbread]

Well...there are different personalities out there. When I was married to my ex we were in our early twenties and, he had one older sister and although she lived a plane ride away from her childhood home due to her job, she called to check in with her parents every single day at the same time no matter what. For Christmas, she would come home for 2 weeks every year and stay in her childhood room that still had cartoon sheets on the bed and Disney murals on the wall. Nothing ever changed. Her parents also spent their vacations only visiting her or still going on family vacations just the 3 of them. She never had a significant other, never did anything that didn't involve mommy and daddy. I remember her calling her parents one night with a big announcement, she had bought a couch. I was 5 years younger than this person living an entirely different life. She was part of some church she never shut up about. This was before I knew about fundies. According to this church, your first kiss should be on your wedding day so I guess it was fundie. All this to say, I could picture her strapped in the car with mom and dad looking at christmas lights. Smiling hugely. 

This sounds less like different personalities and more like someone who is stuff in adolescence.  Is she even capable of acting like an independent adult without needing mommy and daddy every day?

[Black Aliss]

I don't know how cold it is in Kansas after dark in December, but the kidults are clearly not dressed for being outside. "Everyone just stay in the car!"

I don't think they've been looking at lights yet this year. I think Teri just wrote the post and went looking for a photo of the children in the van to go with the post. It's too bad they didn't take the time to stage a photo of all of them wearing matching scarves and hats and mittens. Oh, well, there's always next year.