Josiah Duggar Part 4

[Bad Wolf]

I worked for CPS. It was a state job, and paid much better than minimum and had good benefits. CPS was part of DCFS and there were other options besides investigations, on going care for foster children, licensing of foster homes, and adoptions. It wasn't a bad job, and a good start while you're looking for your dream job. You can go online and see what a SW starts at in your state. It's public information.

Another option is nursing homes. Not my favorite, but might be a good way to get yourself known to hospice. Good luck, and don't panic.

[ClaraOswin]

19 hours ago, SweetFellowshipper said:

But so much less educational! And harmful in other ways They do have new plus size, petite and tall Barbies though.

I was never harmed by Barbie.  I loved my Barbies and even as an adult, I have some collectible ones (I'd have more if the ones I liked weren't so expensive.)

13 hours ago, Fundie Bunny said:

I really don't think it was that Bad. I turned out okay, after all. Mostly because I didn't see her as a role model, she was just a doll with pretty dresses. But now that I remember, I used to playa really weird games with her. Like her screwing around and not knowning who was the father of her child... Oh god, why did my mom let me watch bad venezuelan soap operas? 

I never understood how ANYONE would see a doll as a role model. I certainly didn't.

I had weird 'stories' with mine too! I had a "homeless barbie." She wore a dress made from a cut up sock and a rubberband. The rich family took her in. I also would sometimes have a pregnant teen barbie. Ha! No clue where I came up with this stuff. Likely from bad 80's sitcoms or after school specials.

57 minutes ago, sisterwives said:

I'm reading through this thread and everyone's stories of getting degrees and being unemployed and I'm so scared honestly. I'm in university working towards a degree in social work. And people like to pat me on the head and say, "Oh at least you'll have a job!" but I know social workers who got their Master's at Columbia who are working CPS case management for near minimum wage an hour. That doesn't exactly inspire hope. The one lucrative field in social work is hospice and that's my number 1 choice for work, but those hospice jobs fill up fast. I'm already in debt and I'm only in my second semester of freshman year and I'm overwhelmed. 

Like I've been taught my whole life if I just work really hard and apply myself, things will work in my favor. But I know people who worked their asses off for degrees that are seen as traditionally secure (like nursing degrees) only to end up unemployed after graduation.

What a mess. ):

No one goes into Social Work thinking they will make good money. At least not where I live. It's rarely (never?) a very high paying job. But typically people choose that line of work because they want to help people. So they deal with the low pay because it "pays" in other ways. Social Work was one of my majors. I remember the crappy pay was mentioned by my professors fairly often.

I think everyone I know who went into Social Work DOES currently have a job. (Well, except me but that's by choice.) Not sure what part of the midwest you are in. But my SW friends are mostly in Iowa, Nebraska, and South Dakota.

[EmCatlyn]

55 minutes ago, sisterwives said:

I'm reading through this thread and everyone's stories of getting degrees and being unemployed and I'm so scared honestly. I'm in university working towards a degree in social work. And people like to pat me on the head and say, "Oh at least you'll have a job!" but I know social workers who got their Master's at Columbia who are working CPS case management for near minimum wage an hour. That doesn't exactly inspire hope. The one lucrative field in social work is hospice and that's my number 1 choice for work, but those hospice jobs fill up fast. I'm already in debt and I'm only in my second semester of freshman year and I'm overwhelmed. 

Like I've been taught my whole life if I just work really hard and apply myself, things will work in my favor. But I know people who worked their asses off for degrees that are seen as traditionally secure (like nursing degrees) only to end up unemployed after graduation.

What a mess. ):

I teach at a state university in the US South and what I am finding is that most graduates (even in the humanities) have jobs or get jobs when they graduate- but often these are only part-time jobs or jobs that don't require degrees or are in a very different field than expected. However, within 5 years, most graduates have found a niche and are working full-time at something that they consider a career. Usually it has something to do with what they studied, but even if it doesn't, they see a link between their education and their work. My own daughter's experience bears this out.  She had to do four years in retail -- one part time with no benefits and the first on such a low salary that she had to live with me-- but now she has a challenging job with a major corporation in a field connected to her major but also using what she learned through working retail.   So don't be discouraged.  The jobs may not be waiting for you when you graduate. You may have to do a year or two of less than ideal work, but that will help with getting the job you want in the end.

This is not the first time in our history when the economy is sluggish and new jobs are hard to find.  But it always gets better after a while.  Hang in there and enjoy college.

[SweetFellowshipper]

2 hours ago, ClaraOswin said:

I was never harmed by Barbie.  I loved my Barbies and even as an adult, I have some collectible ones (I'd have more if the ones I liked weren't so expensive.)

I never understood how ANYONE would see a doll as a role model. I certainly didn't.

I had weird 'stories' with mine too! I had a "homeless barbie." She wore a dress made from a cut up sock and a rubberband. The rich family took her in. I also would sometimes have a pregnant teen barbie. Ha! No clue where I came up with this stuff. Likely from bad 80's sitcoms or after school specials.

No one goes into Social Work thinking they will make good money. At least not where I live. It's rarely (never?) a very high paying job. But typically people choose that line of work because they want to help people. So they deal with the low pay because it "pays" in other ways. Social Work was one of my majors. I remember the crappy pay was mentioned by my professors fairly often.

I think everyone I know who went into Social Work DOES currently have a job. (Well, except me but that's by choice.) Not sure what part of the midwest you are in. But my SW friends are mostly in Iowa, Nebraska, and South Dakota.

I liked Barbies too, but I'm just talking statistics-- more than one study has shown that young girls exposed to images of Barbie vs. more average-sized dolls/women scored lower on measures of self esteem and healthy body images, eating disorder risk factors, etc. They were more likely to express dissatisfaction with their bodies and lives than other girls. Similar to the effects of reading a magazine on the average teen girl's self esteem. This was especially true in younger children.

I disagree that dolls don't have a lot to teach us! American Girl doll books and stories taught me about American history, confidence, setting and reaching goals, the evils of slavery and prejudice, poverty, immigration, the Great Depression, Native American history, war, various cultures...all under the age of 10! They also looked like little girls, not women. Barbies were pretty and fun, but also definitely confusing-- I used to ask my mom why she wore so much makeup and why she was so skinny. Also lots of obsession with dates, boyfriends, etc, in the Barbie line. Also not a lot of multiethnic representation until fairly recently. Hence all the complaints from parents, and why their sales have been down. They've undergone huge changes recently.

[ClaraOswin]

But without the books/stories....those dolls on their own wouldn't teach a thing. Except maybe historical fashion or something.

We had a few skipper dolls growing up. We also had a couple of ethnic barbies too. Not many, of course. What we were seriously lacking were Ken dolls. I think we only had 4 or 5 but we had dozens of barbies.

I was always thin growing up so I guess the fact that barbie was thin never crossed my mind. What bothered me was that she was always on her toes. Ha! My cousins and I always joked about barbie's large boobs so her shape really wasn't anything we ever envied or anything.

I do like the new shaped barbies. Except there is one that looks bizarre. Almost like a caricature of a larger person for some reason.

[sisterwives]

9 hours ago, ClaraOswin said:

No one goes into Social Work thinking they will make good money. At least not where I live. It's rarely (never?) a very high paying job. But typically people choose that line of work because they want to help people. So they deal with the low pay because it "pays" in other ways. Social Work was one of my majors. I remember the crappy pay was mentioned by my professors fairly often.

I think everyone I know who went into Social Work DOES currently have a job. (Well, except me but that's by choice.) Not sure what part of the midwest you are in. But my SW friends are mostly in Iowa, Nebraska, and South Dakota.

Yeah, I know it won't make money but I'm terrified of not getting a job period. I'm in Wisconsin and I know a few people who have been unable to find work with Masters degrees. One (who wanted to specialize in working with immigrants) finally relented and is working out of her "niche" but the rest have held out and are still looking. It just seems daunting because I do want to help people but I'm struggling to justify taking out loans when I know that I'm running the risk of it becoming unsustainable. I guess I could better justify the decision if school was cheaper but alas :/

9 hours ago, EmCatlyn said:

I teach at a state university in the US South and what I am finding is that most graduates (even in the humanities) have jobs or get jobs when they graduate- but often these are only part-time jobs or jobs that don't require degrees or are in a very different field than expected. However, within 5 years, most graduates have found a niche and are working full-time at something that they consider a career. Usually it has something to do with what they studied, but even if it doesn't, they see a link between their education and their work. My own daughter's experience bears this out.  She had to do four years in retail -- one part time with no benefits and the first on such a low salary that she had to live with me-- but now she has a challenging job with a major corporation in a field connected to her major but also using what she learned through working retail.   So don't be discouraged.  The jobs may not be waiting for you when you graduate. You may have to do a year or two of less than ideal work, but that will help with getting the job you want in the end.

This is not the first time in our history when the economy is sluggish and new jobs are hard to find.  But it always gets better after a while.  Hang in there and enjoy college.

Ugh thank you, this is what I need to hear lol. I guess I'd feel a lot more secure about my situation if I wasn't taking out loans, that's what scares me the most. I know that social work isn't going to be where the big bucks are but hearing horror stories from people who come out of my school about still being unemployed after their grace period have really shaken me up. I'm also worried knowing that I need to get a Masters and that doesn't guarantee a job either. Thank you so much though it does help hearing this from a professor. My university is facing massive budget cuts right now so tuition will rise and that's also adding to my anxiety. Sooo much drama and money lol.

[Cleopatra7]

It's not that Barbie is a role model in the sense that Sally Ride might be, but that she represents certain social ideas that can have damaging effects on impressionable girls. The most obvious is the body image problem, but also the problem of encouraging girls to fit into a vapid, boy crazy, math is hard bimbo. Mattel has tried to counter this with Barbies that are astronauts, presidents, vets, etc. but most people still see her as an embodiment of an impossible physical ideal coupled with limited intelligence.

[Imaginary_Wonderland]

I was a massive Barbie fan when I was a kid. I probably had more Sindy dolls than Barbies, but mainly they are the same thing.

 I never really saw them as either role models or harmful. I didn't see the big boobs, skinny figures and so-called perfect but unrealistic proportions. I just played with them and regarded them as friends (maybe that is sad but I didn't have many friends growing up).

I gave them characters and personalities and created various stories etc. My original Barbie was the big sister, the sensible one who was giving advice and looking after the others. Two of them were named after characters from my favourite books at the time, and I used to kinda role-play them based on the different books. One of my favorites was a babysitter Skipper that I got on holidays in France. 

One day, my brother had his friend over to play, and this kid was wild and crazy. He started climbing the sofa and walking the top of it and then jumped down and landed on top of my dolls laid out on the sofa. He beheaded 3 of them! I was devastated and refused to talk him for ages! I 

I hadn't heard of American Girl dolls until recently but that is serious money for a doll.

I did get 2 porcelain dolls later on that I adored but was terrified of breaking.

[ClaraOswin]

In the world we live in, Barbie is the least of girls' problems when it comes to self esteem and whatnot. 

[Four is Enough]

I saw my Barbie as mainly a mannequin for the cool clothing. So many accessories!

[Alye]

8 hours ago, Imaginary_Wonderland said:

I was a massive Barbie fan when I was a kid. I probably had more Sindy dolls than Barbies, but mainly they are the same thing.

 I never really saw them as either role models or harmful. I didn't see the big boobs, skinny figures and so-called perfect but unrealistic proportions. I just played with them and regarded them as friends (maybe that is sad but I didn't have many friends growing up).

I gave them characters and personalities and created various stories etc. My original Barbie was the big sister, the sensible one who was giving advice and looking after the others. Two of them were named after characters from my favourite books at the time, and I used to kinda role-play them based on the different books. One of my favorites was a babysitter Skipper that I got on holidays in France. 

One day, my brother had his friend over to play, and this kid was wild and crazy. He started climbing the sofa and walking the top of it and then jumped down and landed on top of my dolls laid out on the sofa. He beheaded 3 of them! I was devastated and refused to talk him for ages! I 

I hadn't heard of American Girl dolls until recently but that is serious money for a doll.

I did get 2 porcelain dolls later on that I adored but was terrified of breaking.

I was a huge tomboy and never own a Barbie. I did own 3 porcelain dolls but that was because one of the girls in my class's grandmother made them so the whole class got them for gifts. They were really nice and based on the person she was giving them to, so all 3 looked vaguely like me just with different length hair. I gave them away to one of my cousins in my teens who loved dolls, no idea if she still has them or not.

[Jucifer]

My brother bought my sister and me Japanese porcelain dolls when he was in San Francisco once. 

I loved my doll. She had glass eyes which looked real and a perfect little Louise Brooks hairdo with bangs. She came wearing a little kimono. I thought she was beautiful. I played with her, but carefully.

I still have her. Her hair has turned from black to purple because of sunlight, I guess, but she's still beautiful to me.  

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

On March 5, 2016 at 9:54 PM, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

That is sad,  My evil sister in law is like that lady, long story short when my brother's family moved to where we live 2 years ago his then 1 year old daughter would  look at us like we were nuts when we would try to read to her. They didn't read to her, but me our sister, & our step mom spend a lot of time reading too her and she loves it.  My baby shower gifts are always books, usually Good Night Moon, Where the Wild Things Are and depending on religious leanings, I also get Max Lucado's Just in case you ever wonder, for my atheist friends (both of them) I gave a random book,  But I always give my 3 most favorite books, because I loved reading to my kids, especially bed time stories.  I love reading and I loved reading to my kids, the voices, and the actions we got into our reading. I say read to your babies you , and they will love it. 

When my 7 year old was a baby (too little to sit up by herself yet) I used to lie down next to her to read and hold the book above us. I still remember the first time that I could tell that she was excited for me to read Goodnight Moon. She started breathing quickly in such a cute way and her eyes opened wide. 

As far as Barbies go, I think I was more mixed up by my only Barbie and Ken being deeply-tan Malibu Ken and Malibu Barbie than by any of Barbie's other attributes. My pale self could just never measure up...

[GreenTea]

I had a few Barbie dolls, but they were not my favored toy. I played with my Cabbage Patch Kid dolls, these little animal family figurines like the Calico Critters, little ponies, and Quints mini-dolls (which had tons of accessories for the five babies.) Maybe playing with the Quints dolls made me fascinated with big families!

  

[TShirtsLongSkirts]

One of my most vivid memories of being a kid was playing with my Barbies in the bath... silly I know! I had a mermaid Barbie who's tail really moved up and down so you could put her in the water and she'd swim around. Then that expanded to her saving other Barbies from drowning, and getting chased by sharks, and falling in love with Ken the handsome lifeguard.

I also played with Sylvanian Families and made stop-motion films with Playmobil characters. I don't think there's anything wrong at all with playing with Barbies as long as there's other options and it's not being played with in a "here's what i should look like!" way and more in an adventurous way ... if that makes sense.

[JesSky03]

I played with barbies as a kid and I don't feel like my self-esteem suffered because of it. We always wondered why barbie had to have such huge boobs and pointed feet but never felt bad because we didn't look like her. Most of the barbies and their outfits we had were hand me downs and we rarely would get new stuff so it wasn't like barbie was getting all these cool new clothes and accessories that we could never have and we should feel bad about ourselves because we didn't have the same things. My parents mostly encouraged us to play outside. We were always running around the neighbor hood or riding around with other kids on our bikes. 

[tumblr]

The problem is not Barbie or any doll, the problem is how parents treat the doll. I probably had over a thousand barbies over the course of my childhood and many more playsets and accessories for them. I don't think it taught me anything other than the fact I should never be a hairdresser but it did allow me to see a woman in roles that I may not have seen them in around my community. However, parents that themselves view Barbie 'perfect' or limit her to only a fashion doll are creating those attitudes in their children.  

[socalrules]

5 minutes ago, tumblr said:

The problem is not Barbie or any doll, the problem is how parents treat the doll. I probably had over a thousand barbies over the course of my childhood and many more playsets and accessories for them. I don't think it taught me anything other than the fact I should never be a hairdresser but it did allow me to see a woman in roles that I may not have seen them in around my community. However, parents that themselves view Barbie 'perfect' or limit her to only a fashion doll are creating those attitudes in their children.  

I grew up with practically every Barbie doll, house, car, Van, pool, etc. that she had. I was obsessed. I even had those creepy big Barbie heads so I could do her hair. I made food for her tiny plates. She even went mountain climbing when I would my jump rope around her and throw her in a tree. She stimulated my imagination in so many ways because to me, the possibilities were endless as to what she could do.  She wasn't a role model to me because inknew she was just a doll. I never cared she was skinny and big boobed. I never wanted to be Barbie. It didn't hurt my self esteem. She was just Barbie to me. I even have most of my dolls and clothes and will give them to my kids should I ever have any. I never understood the Barbie hate. If Barbie has such a negative effect on someone, then there are likely other non-Barbie issues involved. We can find something negative about pretty much every toy. 

 

[Georgiana]

When people talk about Barbie damaging young girls' self-images, I always have to wonder what influences girls got from dolls before Barbie.  I have a few heirloom dolls from the late 1800s early 1900s (passed down in the family for generations), and let me tell you, those things are horrifying.  Yet everyone grew up just fine, and my great grandma never mentioned any regret about not growing up to look like a crazy-eyed murderer or having arms/legs.  Why did children for YEARS accept dolls that barely looked human without issue, and then suddenly in 1950 decide that they needed to grow up to look like dolls?

I think girls emulate more the real women they see in their lives and on TV rather than a doll.   

[Bad Wolf]

I was long before the Barbie days, and my kids were Cabbage Patchers.

My friend and I had identical dolls, obviously from the same mold, except one was black and one was white. In order to figure this out, we decided they were born on a plane while it was flying over Africa, hence the black one. We were 6. We have it figured out now. 

[CreationMuseumSeasonPass]

I'm a huge fan of both Barbie and American Girl dolls. With Barbie, I got to play with her and let my imagination run wild. Was Barbie cooking for sister Skipper today? Was she a pop star princess the next day? Or, was she a school teacher schooling children on the ABC's. Oh yeah, I also had the Barbie RV, which my father spent one very special Christmas Eve trying to assemble, amid a lot of frustrations of putting it together incorrectly at first. He still has horror stories from that. With American Girl, I developed my love of history from DEVOURING every single book. I was introduced to the books in second grade with Addy, who escaped slavery in the 1860s. I still have special memories of my mom reading that book to me and my brother before our bedtime. Needless to say, I was hooked. Probably why I love historical fiction so much as an adult, and why I got a bachelor's of history in college. No hate here for either doll. Although, I had to do more chores around the house to get an American Girl doll for my birthday. Made it worth it. I still have all my dolls in my closet at my parents house with sheets draped over them so they won't get dirty. They were so important to me.

[Screamapillar]

I had several Barbies growing up. 80's  and early 90's Barbies had the best hair and outfits! But I had even more Teresa dolls, who was Barbie's brunette friend. I had these because my Aunt Teresa, who is a brunette, was always giving them to me!

[ClaraOswin]

As a redhead, I always liked Midge even though I only owned one. It was wedding day Midge. You could take off the bottom of her dress and she had a shorter skirt underneath. And then you add a purple jacket. Her husband, Alan, could switch out ties. I think it was meant to be their "going away" outfits or something. So dated. Love it.

Click here for photo.

[Fundie Bunny]

4 minutes ago, ClaraOswin said:

As a redhead, I always liked Midge even though I only owned one. It was wedding day Midge. You could take off the bottom of her dress and she had a shorter skirt underneath. And then you add a purple jacket. Her husband, Alan, could switch out ties. I think it was meant to be their "going away" outfits or something. So dated. Love it.

Click here for photo.

I had a midge too!! But it was the 2000 version I think. The happy family line. She was pregnant and apparently very controversial, because in the first editon she didn't have a wedding ring. I recently looked at mine, and she had one. I never even looked at it.

https://www.google.es/search?q=barbie+happy+family&oq=barbie+happy+&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0l3.6857j0j4&client=ms-android-samsung&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#imgrc=x0zT3Twk0MD5dM%3A

[Bad Wolf]

No wedding ring? Maybe her fingers were swollen. The things people find to worry about.

I checked out American Girl dolls. Glad I only have grandsons. Now I know why there are so many knitting patterns for their clotthes.