Bergey Family - 8 kids and living in an RV

[laPapessaGiovanna]

I wasn't laughing when I made it I was angry. Every now and then one of these families really gets under my skin and bothers me more than most. This is one of these. I reacted too quickly.

 

it is also too late for me to edit. 

 I understand what you meant with that meme, but it really risks to be misunderstood and she doesn't need this too. She's such a nice beautiful girl with a heart warming smile, I don't think there's a place on the Internet for this meme, much less on FJ.

@alexandracabot please can you edit it from your post? 

 

[AmazonGrace]

I’m sad because I bet if we met up in the mall, we’d have fun chatting while drinking our coffee and watching our children play together. I’m sad because I bet if you were my next door neighbor, you’d make me sugar cookies at Christmastime and I’d watch your children when you needed a night out with your spouse. I’m sad because I bet we’d really like each other if we saw each other through untainted glasses. 

Sure, it's possible to have a cosy chat at the mall with almost everyone, including you and me, but in and of itself it doesn't say zip about whether the people criticizing your parenting, or mine, have got it all wrong or not. 

I haven't read your blog but disagreeing with you does not automatically mean that people are just out to hate you for no reason. Personally I am against sharing minor children's private concerns online, and it's nothing to do with who your Jesus is, it's about the children's right to their privacy. It's even more necessary for damaged children who already deal with a lot of crap other kids don't have to deal with. The internet is forever, think about what you put there.

And I agree with everyone who said that adopted children would benefit from stability more than a trek out in South Africa to try to do random acts of kindness to people who haven't asked for them.

 

[blessalessi]

I don't like this at all. It's veering very close to making fun of a child, although I know it's the mother's own words. No matter what your feeling when you posted it, memes trivialize things, and I don't think anything about this should be trivialized. 

If there is time then, please could you remove the image from your post.  Quoting it has brought it back in view and could increase its prominence in a google search.

[alexandracabot]

If there is time then, please could you remove the image from your post.  Quoting it has brought it back in view and could increase its prominence in a google search.

Shoot, sorry, I didn't realize the image would show up again when I quoted it. I can't edit it anymore but would appreciate if a moderator could do it for me (no idea if that's possible.)

[iweartanktops]

I wasn't laughing when I made it I was angry. Every now and then one of these families really gets under my skin and bothers me more than most. This is one of these. I reacted too quickly.

 

it is also too late for me to edit. 

It's all good. I was very offended by it, but I didn't freak out right away because from your posts that I've seen, you seem to be kind and compassionate. I didn't want to jump down your throat over it.  I felt you deserved the benefit of the doubt. 

This family makes me particularly angry and heartbroken as well. I think everyone responds differently. 

[blessalessi]

Shoot, sorry, I didn't realize the image would show up again when I quoted it. I can't edit it anymore but would appreciate if a moderator could do it for me (no idea if that's possible.)

No worries, I  have reported both posts, asking the mods to consider removing the image.

For information, we can report our own posts by clicking on the "report" button at the top of each one. The mods are reasonable people and generally no-one gets in trouble over small mistakes.

I'm not saying that in a "telling off" way .  I know this because I have had to report myself on at least one occasion when I posted a link that I later realised was totally intrusive and inappropriate to the context. 

I think the important thing is, when others point out problematic posts, it is usually possible to redeem the situation if we are able to look at things from other people's perspectives. (That includes you, Selina.  )

 

[Queen Of Hearts]

Re: the meme... I feel like the child is an innocent in this.  We should be better than her parents and not be posting things here that could humiliate her in the future.  She doesn't deserve that.  

[happy atheist]

I've hidden the two posts where the picture appeared.

 

[Palimpsest]

I've hidden the two posts where the picture appeared.

 

Thank you so much. 

Selina likes to call her child "Laundry Girl" and post pictures of her very sick children.  We don't need to perpetuate her bad judgment.

@‌Grimalkin no worries.  You just combined one with the other with reason.  Selina should consider why this one angered you enough to make that meme.

I'm glad that it is hidden.

 

[RosyDaisy]

Calling one of your kids "laundry girl" tells me all I need to know about you Selena. You are a disgusting excuse of a human being, you crazy ass fundie bitch! Sorry, but I don't play nice with fundies.

[formergothardite]

After reading through the comments on her "I'm just a human, you can't expect me to treat my children with kindness and respect" post, I think she made that post mostly to get persecution points. Has anyone tried to leave a comment about how she doesn't address any of the issues discussed here? All the comments seem to be positive so I am wondering if she would even allow a negative comment through. 

[blessalessi]

It was absolutely a persecution callout.  Interesting that she considers our comments to be potentially more damaging if ignored, thsn if she herself acknowledges and responds to them.

I think her response shows a really unhealthy vulnerability to criticism, that renders her a very unsuitable carer for distressed children. I'm sad for her in a way, but until she deals with her false self-esteem, she has little to give to the kinds of children she wants to work with. She needs other people's acceptance so badly that she just cannot even listen to criticism without feeling destroyed and then launching a swift attack of retaliation.   

As long as she depends on those children's behaviour to validate her self-belief, then she will have to keep sticking the kids in residential facilities or otherwise blaming them whenever they present problems that are bigger than she can tolerate.

I really feel for the 13-year old daughter, even though she appears to be in a privileged position as of now .  She is at high risk of burnout from having to be the good, mission-positive child, whilst all this shit is flying around her.

[Paperplate]

I really feel for the 13-year old daughter, even though she appears to be in a privileged position as of now .  She is at high risk of burnout from having to be the good, mission-positive child, whilst all this shit is flying around her.

I didn't even think about that. I mostly felt for Johanna Ling, but firstborn bio daughter doesn't have it easy either. Just like you said, she might be privileged now, but there's a lot of pressure.

[blessalessi]

I didn't even think about that. I mostly felt for Johanna Ling, but firstborn bio daughter doesn't have it easy either. Just like you said, she might be privileged now, but there's a lot of pressure.

The first time I read one of the 13 year old's post, I did a face-palm at the youthful sanctimony.

But reading more, the poor thing really does see herself as a little missionary and that is scary. There is no one else in the family who has the language skill and emotional capacity to validate her 13-year old feelings. Potentially she is more isolated and vulnerable than the Maxgirls were at that age.  At least they had each other.

 

[blessalessi]

Didn't Oprah Winfrey open a school in SA? Didn't it, even with her support and funding, go under? (Do I remember that correctly?) How do these people think they can open an orphanage, having collected dribs and drabs of money here and there? It'll probably only fund their airfare!

Their next grifting letter is up.  As well as money they also want God to provide another family and "a young lady" to serve alongside them. I'm not convinced Selina and Brent are planning to get their hands dirty. I hope the "young lady" isn't going to take over from Johanna Ling as laundry girl, should Johanna Ling be abandoned before they leave for South Africa.

November 2015

Bergey Prayer Letter: God Is At Work

Hello Church Family and Friends,

It is exciting to see God at work in our family's lives! When I wrote our last prayer letter back in September, I had just been in a pretty nasty car accident. I am thankful to be able to write that my back has healed and is almost feeling back to normal again! God also allowed us to find and purchase a new van so that we could continue traveling. Thank you to all who have prayed for our family! It has been humbling to walk into many churches and have people come up to me and say that they have been praying for me; this has definitely been noticed and appreciated by us. God allowed us to not miss any meetings during this time for which we are thankful.

We are now on the west coast for the next few months of meetings and we see God at work! We are almost at 65% of support with many other churches voting to partner with us in the near future. We have had the opportunity to see God's design and beauty all along the way with our travels. A highlight for the entire family was a stop at The Alamo in Texas and our trip to the Grand Canyon! Selina was particularly happy that none of the children fell over the edge of the canyon! 

Sharing our ministry at so many different churches is such an encouragement to us. Whether it is a large or small church, a country or city church, a historic pillar in the community or a brand new church plant, they are all a blessing! It is so encouraging to see God at work in churches.

We are now at the stage of deputation where we can start to get a glimpse of the next chapter of our ministry-the part where we leave for the land and people we long to minister to. We want to finish strong and keep our noses to the ground, but we can't help but get excited to go to South Africa. Our travel fund has been set up and we are ready to go the minute God brings in the rest of our support! 

Thank you for all of your prayers and support. Please pray specifically:

1. That God would meet the needs for our travel fund. If you would like to know specifically in ways that your ministry can help, please call or email me.
2. That God would continue to burden the hearts of churches for this much needed ministry.
3. That God would call people to help in our ministry. We are specifically praying for a young lady and at least one family to join us in building this ministry to orphans.

For His glory,
 
Brent and Selina Bergey and our "Bunch"
brentbergey@mwbm.org
804-475-2403
Missionaries To The Orphans Of South Africa
www.littlefishministries.org
Macedonia World Baptist Missions
www.mwbm.org/

As a side note, I saw on another blog that Johanna Ling and the youngest of the birth children stayed with Selina's younger sister during the recent scoping trip. Johanna Ling looked radiantly happy, like a different person.  

http://livingwithhisjoy.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/my-sister-selina-and-her-husband-brent.html

It is sad to think she was adopted to such horrible people like the Bergeys.  If she had been nurtured and loved from 14-18, it could have made such a difference.  As it stands, she seems likely to be in a very vulnerable state whether the Bergeys decide to abandon her, or take herto live as resident laundry girl in a(nother) country that she has never previously visited.

[Paperplate]

This occurred to me before, but I forgot to post about it: We're assuming Selina's "Open Letter To The Critics" is aimed at FJ, right? (Is someone else snarking on her?)

She says: "You see, I found out on Thursday that our family was being attacked by an online  community. I noticed a huge jump in page views, so I followed a referral link and found my entire family being ridiculed, made fun of, nit-picked, and slandered."

But how? As I understand it, we don't have to break links anymore because they're automatically converted to no-follow links. How is it that a referral link for her to follow and find FJ even existed?

[Maggie Mae]

This occurred to me before, but I forgot to post about it: We're assuming Selina's "Open Letter To The Critics" is aimed at FJ, right? (Is someone else snarking on her?)

She says: "You see, I found out on Thursday that our family was being attacked by an online  community. I noticed a huge jump in page views, so I followed a referral link and found my entire family being ridiculed, made fun of, nit-picked, and slandered."

But how? As I understand it, we don't have to break links anymore because they're automatically converted to no-follow links. How is it that a referral link for her to follow and find FJ even existed?

We have lurkers here who like to make trouble.

Also gomi often talks about done of the same people we do. Granted, gomi has done of our users as well.

[Paperplate]

 

We have lurkers here who like to make trouble.

 

Also gomi often talks about done of the same people we do. Granted, gomi has done of our users as well.

You mean a lurker clued her in? Then I would have expected her to say that, and not make up a story about following a referral link.

(I think she probably googled herself/her blog title.)

As far as I know, the Bergeys aren't discussed on GOMI. (Or are they?)

[blessalessi]

You mean a lurker clued her in? Then I would have expected her to say that, and not make up a story about following a referral link.

(I think she probably googled herself/her blog title.)

As far as I know, the Bergeys aren't discussed on GOMI. (Or are they?)

I agree she may just have noticed her blog stats have gone up and googled herself. It doesn't necessarily mean she has been tipped off directly, although I suppose it is a possibility that her followers may be aware of, or even featured on FJ.

If anyone here (including lurkers) has taken the conversation elsewhere such as Gomi, and mentioned the FJ discussion, we are still easy enough to find through Google.

 

[FundieFarmer]

She may have google alerts set up for herself and found out that way. That may have been what she meant about a "referral link"

.

[blessalessi]

Everything closed down really quickly after this thread started.  I missed the BergeyBunch blog entirely because of the US/UK time difference.

The probably check their blog stats regularly to monitor the interest after each grifting presentation.  It must have been a shock to see all the hits in one night.

[VaSportsMom]

Everything closed down really quickly after this thread started.  I missed the BergeyBunch blog entirely because of the US/UK time difference.

The probably check their blog stats regularly to monitor the interest after each grifting presentation.  It must have been a shock to see all the hits in one night.

And a real let down to discover all those page views didn't translate to head pats and grifted dollars.

[pnwgypsy]

This occurred to me before, but I forgot to post about it: We're assuming Selina's "Open Letter To The Critics" is aimed at FJ, right? (Is someone else snarking on her?)

She says: "You see, I found out on Thursday that our family was being attacked by an online  community. I noticed a huge jump in page views, so I followed a referral link and found my entire family being ridiculed, made fun of, nit-picked, and slandered."

But how? As I understand it, we don't have to break links anymore because they're automatically converted to no-follow links. How is it that a referral link for her to follow and find FJ even existed?

Probably from her blogs analytics report.  It would tell her how people were getting to her page & to what pages.  That would lead her directly here.

 

As for Ling with her Aunt & Grandma....she looks so happy in the pic in the convertible.

[Bethella]

Probably from her blogs analytics report.  It would tell her how people were getting to her page & to what pages.  That would lead her directly here.

It shouldn't lead her here, the forum software uses no_follow links to keep that from happening. http://www.freejinger.org/topic/24703-question-about-breaking-links/

[Paperplate]

I assumed no-follow links don't pass the referral source, but apparently they do? Is there another way FJ is preventing trackback, apart from just using no-follow links?