Bergey Family - 8 kids and living in an RV

[laPapessaGiovanna]

I think there is a big difference between teaching thankfulness for having our daily needs met, as a courtesy to each other, and teaching children to be thankful as if they are somehow unworthy and are being given things they don't deserve.

This! I agree wholeheartedly. I think you nailed what's fundies problem. They don't get that there's a difference! I think they mess up those two because in their mind if you aren't humbly thankful to god for every.little.thing that he bestowes on your unworthy self then you are an ebil ungrateful heathen. Hence the obsession with teaching thankfulness to little babies that can't understand it and so simply learn to show it to avoid consequences. 

[Toothfairy]

You should never change a child's name without their input.  That's their identity. The only thing they have left. And no children shouldn't be grateful for being born or adopted. How did China allow her to adopt?

[formergothardite]

So another family that crammed their kids into an RV to go singing and grifting about the country so the parents can live out their "mission" fantasies? Except this family also decided to abandon their adopted kids because it sounds they were inconvenient? 

I hope this woman is reading this thread and feeling uncomfortable with what we are saying. Actions speak louder than words and I bet she claims children are a blessing, but her actions show that children are just props for her lifestyle that she can toss to the side if she gets bored with them. 

[Gimme a Free RV]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3aeufK0XMTA&feature=share

not really a surprise, but they have a singing ministry to grift for funds.

Oh, my goodness. As if I wasn't already depressed enough.  Seriously.

No joy whatsoever.  Some of those kids look scared to be up there.   Others look bored.   The one I think is Johanna looks especially sad.  The song is patronizing and depressing. 

I'm seeing a pattern here.   Tell me if it seems familiar:

Family on deputation (begging expedition) makes children sing. Unimpressive presentation.

Mother plays piano and sings. 

Family travels and lives out of a mobile "container" too small for their number. 

Father is well fed.

Mother is blonde, coincidentally.

Family prematurely calls themselves "missionaries" to a place where they don't yet live or to a ministry they don't yet have.

Girls have long hair and wear glasses.   Boys are dressed like geeks. 

What other similarities do we see between this family, the Rods, and the Shrades?

[imokit]

There were times as a child my mum would get herself a treat (such as a Starbucks) and not me.  Sometimes it would be because I got something else, other times it would be because she we didn't have the money for us to get it.

The thing is, I was allowed to ask/feel upset at these times and she would explain that I was lucky and got treats at other times and she was allowed treats for herself.

This was in the context of a single parent, with not much money who I knew even at a young age made sacrifices for me.

It can be OK for adults to buy things for themselves and not their kids, but to be upset with the kid for objecting to this is unreasonable.

That said - more money and a second marriage and the little ones would throw a hissy fit if she went to starbucks with them and wouldn't get them anything, no matter how much money she'd spent on them that day

 

[Palimpsest]

Oh, my goodness. As if I wasn't already depressed enough.  Seriously.

No joy whatsoever.  Some of those kids look scared to be up there.   Others look bored.   The one I think is Johanna looks especially sad.  The song is patronizing and depressing. 

I'm seeing a pattern here.   Tell me if it seems familiar:

Family on deputation (begging expedition) makes children sing. Unimpressive presentation.

Mother plays piano and sings. 

Family travels and lives out of a mobile "container" too small for their number. 

Father is well fed.

Mother is blonde, coincidentally.

Family prematurely calls themselves "missionaries" to a place where they don't yet live or to a ministry they don't yet have.

Girls have long hair and wear glasses.   Boys are dressed like geeks. 

What other similarities do we see between this family, the Rods, and the Shrades?

And her Facebook goes private! 

Sorry, Selina, but I expect you can use having gained FJ's persecution attention as a selling point in your grifting.  I see that she is facebook friends with both the Rodrigii and the Shraders.  She must have been wondering when we would find them.

Similarities:

- Selina seems to be more of a bossy and directive Jill than a subservient Esther.  Check out their blooper video. 

- Their singing is as bad as the Rodrigii.  Like Jill, Selina seems to be in charge of the music.

- They all had babies while on deputation.  How they can have sex in a trailer packed with 8 children rather boggles my mind.

- Like Shrader, they also got a new 15 passenger van while on deputation.  Thank you, God.

Before Selina shut us out of her FB, I noticed that in September Brent totaled their old van, luckily without the trailer attached and without anyone else being hurt.  The accident caused him to "brake" [sic] his back but he seems to have recovered very quickly.  She had several photos of the accident scene to show how miraculous it was that he missed 4 trees and just took out a telegraph pole. 

They blame the accident on rain, the front wheel hitting slippery grass on a "dangerous" curve, and the heavy van skidding off the road.  It looked to me that he must have been driving way too fast for the conditions but she doesn't mention that.  Naturally.

[Gimme a Free RV]

I meant to say the girls wear dresses, not glasses.

[formergothardite]

Poor fundies. It is so hard for them! They want to show the world how amazing they are, yet we keep pointing out how shitty they treat their kids so they have to go hide everything. We make being a light on the hill for Jesus so hard by expecting them to be decent people and treat their children like humans, not objects they collect. 

[iweartanktops]

I just found this grift report online:

[ViolaSebastian]

Whomever chose that song (Selina...) really doesn't give two shits about how the adopted children feel.  Lyrics about starving children and dead mothers?  I just can't even fathom what made her think that a child who is suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder should be singing about that.  Cripes.  

ETA: It automatically rolled over into this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTt39bBKiuM, showing Ling (I refuse to call her Johanna...) talking about her past life.  I'd love to know if they brought in a Chinese interpreter when they determined she had a "low IQ".  

And her Bergey Bunch blog is private...

 

[FundieFarmer]

OMG. I just happened upon this thread and haven't got the time to give it as much attention as I want to, but...holy bucket of nuts I'm so excited for this rabbit hole!

[iheartchacos]

Damn, I'm always late to the party! I have a 4yo placement right now and can't imagine taking his name away from him!! Let alone a 14yo! WTF? Sometimes I call him by his first initial, I even asked the kid if that was ok lol. It's the one thing they have!

[iweartanktops]

Has anyone read the posts supposedly written by the oldest daughters? I just read one about the importance of teenagers having a good relationship with their parents. 

http://perspectivesinparenting.com/?p=362

I’ve been around teens who talk badly or flippantly about their parents behind their back.  This is gossip! Maybe you say, “Well, my parents justdon’t listen to me when I try to share my feelings with them.” Have you tried itrespectfully? I’ve found that our parents are more likely to listen, if we come to them with respect. “Mom and Dad, I really don’t understand why you do this, do you mind helping me understand why?” Now they may say “No, you don’t need to understand why we do this.”, then just say “ok” and obey. 

 

If, she did write this, it makes me sad that she can't have a true, open conversation with her parents. Why can't she ask them why, and get a real answer? 

[iheartchacos]

Why were they so broke when deputation started? She talks about having extra, then all of a sudden no Christmas?!

And blind obedience is going to have us living life Offred in Gilead in no time. Eek!

[Mango]

This woman is despicable. 

 

I hope she HAS found us. I hope she's reading this thread. And I hope she realizes that someday all her "grateful' children will hate her, if they don't already, and I hope they pick out the shittiest nursing home possible for her, and she dies alone with no visitors except for maybe some ancient Maxwells. 

[DaisyD]

Teaching kids to listen is a long, long process. At face value, I understand her method. That is if it's used at pertinent moments and not just for the sake of the lesson. I agree that the terminology has a lot of red flags. I sounds very Pearl. Of course, this is just going off of what is still public. I didn't see any of the other stuff.

I could see changing an adopted child's last name to yours. What, exactly, is the point of changing their first? I honestly don't understand why you would do that. Especially if they are old enough to remember it. 

I really hope that they are never inflicted upon the children of South Africa. They have enough problems without being turned into "soldiers for Jesus". That pastor's comments smacked of a view of these children as tools in his/their goal, not the purpose of it like they should be.

[Palimpsest]

Poor fundies. It is so hard for them! They want to show the world how amazing they are, yet we keep pointing out how shitty they treat their kids so they have to go hide everything. We make being a light on the hill for Jesus so hard by expecting them to be decent people and treat their children like humans, not objects they collect. 

I have no problem making these Fundies flounce and making their fundraising more difficult.  If what they are doing is so wonderful that they need to preach about it, then why do they feel they need to hide it from criticism?

Oh, yeah.  It might make people question them.  The horrors!

Has anyone read the posts supposedly written by the oldest daughters? I just read one about the importance of teenagers having a good relationship with their parents. 

http://perspectivesinparenting.com/?p=362

 

 

If, she did write this, it makes me sad that she can't have a true, open conversation with her parents. Why can't she ask them why, and get a real answer? 

This is purportedly 13 year old Ellie's writing so she can witness to teens.  Her modest dress blog post is quite amusing too.  "Even I sometimes struggle with this." 

I'm sure these are homeschool projects that Selina needs to correct so that the MESSAGE is pure and add the right EMPHASIS so than teenage young ladies understand how IMPORTANT it is to be respectful to their parents.

Oy, Selina!  Learn and then teach Ellie the difference between your and you're, please.

[Gimme a Free RV]

Whomever chose that song (Selina...) really doesn't give two shits about how the adopted children feel.  Lyrics about starving children and dead mothers?  I just can't even fathom what made her think that a child who is suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder should be singing about that.  Cripes.  

ETA: It automatically rolled over into this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTt39bBKiuM, showing Ling (I refuse to call her Johanna...) talking about her past life.  I'd love to know if they brought in a Chinese interpreter when they determined she had a "low IQ".  

And her Bergey Bunch blog is private...

 

Couldn't agree more.  I thought the lyrics of the song were awful, especially for the adoptees to have to sing.

Ling is precious.  She IS beautiful and I could tell it was difficult for her to bring up her past, especially about the kids in China bullying her.  That child deserves some spoiling--one on one time with her parents, doing what SHE loves to do, letting them validate her for who she is as God created her...not who they want her to be.

[chaotic life]

I made it precisely one line into that song, it wasn't the off key singing but the vile lyrics. I cannot even imagine the arrogance and trauma of making my kids sing that disgusting song.

And yes, because I saw the comment on her blog before she started shutting it all down, some of us judge you NOT because we do not understand but because we understand from experience how awful your behavior to your daughters is but especially to Ling.

[ladymissdiva]

I just started reading this. She makes a 17 year old call her "Mommy?" I can't even…

[DaffyDill]

I just started reading this. She makes a 17 year old call her "Mommy?" I can't even…

From her "About the Family" thing on the Little Fish Ministries page:

Selina: 10-17

Organized, musical, a teacher. Lover of soft florals, lace, and anything PINK. Passionate about godly parenting and orphan ministry. Heroes of the Faith: Amy Carmichael, Elisabeth Elliot, Gladys Aylward, Darlene Diebler Rose. Favorite word: Mommy. Favorite food: chocolate. Favorite season: spring. For fun: thrift store shopping, piano practicing, biography reading, and snuggling with Brent.

 

I suspect those children will be calling her Mommy long after they have passed 18, or 21, or 50....

 

I really, really feel for Ling (Johanna). Calling her "the laundry girl" is just awful. I know to Selina it's probably SUCH a BLESSING!!!!! to have a helper, but Selina or Whats-his-name should be doing it, not leaving the bulk of it up to a girl who has had such a sad early life, and would possibly benefit from an schooling and education, rather than an education in laundry detergent.

 

I don't know what their plans are for her now she is 18. One part of me hopes they don't just dump her and run to Africa when the time comes, and the other part of me hopes they do so she doesn't end up as a full-time cook, cleaner and nanny to their brood. Which is probably happening anyway...

 

[Mitz_]

This is our adopted daughter, The Laundry Girl. Wow. 

 

[iweartanktops]

I am not one but surprised that, "Mommy" is her favorite word! Just the other day I posted that it creeps me out the way she loves to call herself, "Mommy." 

[laPapessaGiovanna]

I  really can't stand this woman. I've just read "In the Daze after the Diagnosis" and "5 ways to regulate a sensory child" here is the link to both.

http://perspectivesinparenting.com/?cat=7 

First of all every child is a sensorial creature, did you mean sensory disregulated Selina? Then, SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) is a still very controversial diagnosis that isn't recognised per se in the ICD-10 nor in the DSM-V where it's recognised only as part of the Autism Spectrum Disorder. It's recognised as a diagnosis on its own only in the DC:0-3. Why? Because it's symptoms, especially if taken separately as she seems to do, can be explained by a whole shitload of other reasons and diagnoses. Does it tell you anything that it takes a multidisciplinary equipe performing a variety of tests and observations to diagnose it, Selina? Oh well, even if your child was never officially diagnosed you can always follow Selina's advice, you know. Also research says that causes are mostly unknown,  but very very probably genetic and neurological difference has been found in the brain of those affected.  Just like Autism with which it share a high comorbidity. Oh I forgot that probably this nut thinks that Autism is caused by modern medicine so why SPD can't be caused by early childhood trauma? Because what is caused by early childhood trauma is often called PTSD dear Selina, but you didn't like it, right? Too much awareness about it for people to follow your advice, so better choose a dx that your children probably don't have than one that they could have. Also, if my child doesn't pee for 24 hrs I would think other reasons before SPD.

And if they really have it? Reminding them to eat, drink and going to the loo is like using essential oils when antibiotics are needed. But why should I be surprised? Also, forcing on a child unwanted and unpleasant contact (bear hugs) may be more harmful than useful as with forcing sensorial stimulation without knowing exactly what you are doing. Oh but, you know,  being a christian adoptive parent makes you an authority on practically everything. 

"I will never forget the day we got the special needs diagnosis". We? Do you have any special need Selina? Throughout the entire post you manage to never say who got the diagnosis and what the diagnosis is. But how you suffered. Oh the sufference of being a special needs parent! It sounds like you're delighted of finally be able to labek yourself as such. Honestly the only diagnosis is that you are a narcissistic, selfish parent obtuse to your children real needs. Unfortunately it's not in the DSM-V probably because at the moment it's incurable,  you can't fix stupid.

 

[ladymissdiva]

 

… the other part of me hopes they do so she doesn't end up as a full-time cook, cleaner and nanny to their brood. Which is probably happening anyway...

 

I'm very afraid that this is Ling's future.