Joy-Anna turns 18th on Oct 28th

[JenniferJuniper]

 

In light of recent revelations, that comment sounds far less innocuous than it did at the time.

[j-rin]

when?  how do you know?

it was mentioned in either 14 kid special or the 15th kid one. She was young when she said that maybe 12 or 13 yrs old.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

I think if Jinger, Joy or Jana were to be married anytime soon, we would end up disappointed in them just like with Jill and Jessa. We want to believe that they want to escape, go to college, use birth control and become pants wearing women of the world. That's our dream and there is no reason to believe it is theirs. Most likely, the minute they get access to social media, they will travel the same road as their sisters. They will spew the hatred and ignorance of their sisters. There is nothing to lead me to believe otherwise.

 Jinger wanting to live in a big city doesn't mean she doesn't want the lifestyle she has grown up in. She may just want to live where there is likely more people and activities. If these girls wanted out so badly, they would know that by marrying someone acceptable to their parents, they are trapping themselves in the lifestyle since babies will soon arrive and their options become more limited. They aren't as sheltered as Sarah Maxwell. Jana has the password to the Internet, she could google and look for ways out. Maybe she doesn't want to. Maybe they know what's out there and they don't want it. Maybe they just want the life their parents have had and that's ok too. I don't agree it but it's not my life. 

Lol I was just imagining Jana and Jinger on Tinder.

[Chicken bones]

I think, as she's gotten older, Joy may be the prettiest of the duggar young women. One of the pics of her at some random wedding (maybe the last bates one?) She looked gorgeous.

I'd like to think she'd break away from the cult, bit honestly,  all the pictures of events they've been at pre-apocaJoshalypse, Joy looks like she's having a ton of fun with all her fundy buddies. But of she is still on laundry duty...man, that would be enough to get ME outta there, everything else aside!

[GreenTea]

It would be nice if Jana, Jinger, or Joy "got out" and lived a little (discovered who they really are), but in reality it takes dreams, an educated plan, and money. They must have dreams, everyone does, yet who knows what they may be? They have been so sheltered in that religious bubble world that an educated plan is going to be hard for them. Money is the largest hurtle. Even for "normal" young adults finding a job that pays a living wage is difficult. I've thought about just buying a Tiny House and traveling all over the USA. But then I think about how I would really do that. I'm an educated, worldly person and it's even overwhelming to me. Real life is hard. Maybe they like the bubble where they don't have to answer any hard questions, work in bad jobs, and take care of themselves. It's like the Peter Pan idea. (Only without the creativity and imagination.) Plus those girls aren't even allowed to read about or see much of the outside world (wonder if they even know who Peter Pan is), so that jump would be huge.      

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

It would be nice if Jana, Jinger, or Joy "got out" and lived a little (discovered who they really are), but in reality it takes dreams, an educated plan, and money. They must have dreams, everyone does, yet who knows what they may be? They have been so sheltered in that religious bubble world that an educated plan is going to be hard for them. Money is the largest hurtle. Even for "normal" young adults finding a job that pays a living wage is difficult. I've thought about just buying a Tiny House and traveling all over the USA. But then I think about how I would really do that. I'm an educated, worldly person and it's even overwhelming to me. Real life is hard. Maybe they like the bubble where they don't have to answer any hard questions, work in bad jobs, and take care of themselves. It's like the Peter Pan idea. (Only without the creativity and imagination.) Plus those girls aren't even allowed to read about or see much of the outside world (wonder if they even know who Peter Pan is), so that jump would be huge.      

They're all over 18. If they really weren't happy with their life or had dreams beyond their fundie approved ones, they COULD leave if they wanted to. They choose not to, so I say it's safe to assume that their dreams and goals are pretty fundie approved.

[Trynn]

I was only fundy lite, and I still wasn't capable of leaving right after I turned 18. my parents wouldn't help with college, the stupid fafsa requirements decided I had to be like 21 (and the. They kept raising the age each year for a while) in order to not be independent.....

Because even if I could've found a job that paid enough to live on my own at 18, I'd still be considered my parents dependent by fafsa till I hit 23 or so.

But it is super hard to find jobs these days that pay enough to afford your own apartment with no education behind high school.

So, sorry, no. Really, not a hell of a lot changes when a person hits 18 these days. Especially if ones dreams require higher education.

[Alicja]

I agree with Trynn, however they have plenty of resources if one does decide to get out. I'm sure Amy would love the attention from the fallout.  even though she is a famewhore, she definitely seems to care a lot about her cousins.

[Avalondaughter]

There are so many young women out there who have managed to escape and so many people out there who would like to help if they could.  We have even occasionally joked here on FJ about letting a fundie escapee come live with us.

The girls don't have much education, but they have childcare skills and some cooking and sewing skills.  They probably have good enough computer skills to do light office work in a temp agency type setting.  They could likely get a job at WalMart. They could work for a housecleaning service.   If only some sympathetic person out there who wanted to help one of these girls escape had a room above the garage or some such space that could be rented out cheaply to Joy or Jana or Jinger.  They could help with childcare, cooking, and household chores in exchange for a cheap room while they worked in a temp office job or at WalMart or as a housecleaner.  Maybe they could be live-in nannies.  Eventually they could save up to take some community college courses.  It's not impossible.  The only problem is that if such a situation could exist for one of these girls and they wanted to take it, how would they ever know about it?

[Trynn]

Also....many of us may want to help, but I know I'd feel freaked out staying with strangers on the Internet....

We also do not know for sure if any relatives really would help the Duggars. Amy may not want to risk rocking the boat.,

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

Also....many of us may want to help, but I know I'd feel freaked out staying with strangers on the Internet....

As someone who is currently homeless (I'm living in a motel), I can attest to that idea. I've had a LOT of people I don't actually know in real life, or I'm just acquainted with, who have told me I can stay with them for free until I get back on my feet. I'd rather stay in a motel than stay with someone I'm not comfortable with.

[Toaster]

This week This American Life rebroadcast an episode that originally aired last year, I think.  (It was called "Regrets, I've had a few..."). The third act of the episode was an interview with a fellow who left the FLDS fundies to try to give his kids a better life. He tried to go to school, but couldn't afford it, and eventually he sent the kids to live with friends he'd made on the outside. That temporary arrangement turned permanent when he still wasn't able to get on his feet -- it sounded like he was dealing with some post-traumatic stuff, on top of the other obvious difficulties -- and he allowed the friends to adopt his children.  He still visits them, and sounds like a dedicated dad, but he's had to drop out of school and has been driving truck and working construction to make ends meet. He talked about how his family has disowned him, and how the cult destroyed his relationship with his wife (from whom he was forced to keep secrets). I kept thinking of Jana & Anna and the others as I listened to the episode. We speculate all the time about helping fundies who might leave, but even though this guy had something of a support system, it has been really tough. I don't know if it would be better or worse for a woman leaving the Duggar world. It would definitely be easier pre-kids, I think.

[EmCatlyn]

Also....many of us may want to help, but I know I'd feel freaked out staying with strangers on the Internet....

We also do not know for sure if any relatives really would help the Duggars. Amy may not want to risk rocking the boat.,

I agree.  And we should also note that if the Duggar kids and Anna have heard of FreeJinger, they probably think we are the anti-Christ.  To seek help from outsiders who snark about their family is not something any of them are likely to do.

[nausicaa]

As someone who is currently homeless (I'm living in a motel), I can attest to that idea. I've had a LOT of people I don't actually know in real life, or I'm just acquainted with, who have told me I can stay with them for free until I get back on my feet. I'd rather stay in a motel than stay with someone I'm not comfortable with.

I hope everything's okay DTEIN, and you're just at the motel because of a lag in between two rental agreements, and not anything more serious. I live in a place with ridiculous rent prices and understand how tough it can be. Good luck with everything. 

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

I hope everything's okay DTEIN, and you're just at the motel because of a lag in between two rental agreements, and not anything more serious. I live in a place with ridiculous rent prices and understand how tough it can be. Good luck with everything. 

unfortunately, my living situation is caused by trusting the wrong people and by having a hard time finding a full time job. I've been working 3-5 part time jobs and 2 irregular jobs since July, but my part time hours keep getting cut back. I had to leave my second to last living situation because my roommate at the time gave into her addictions and I couldn't support both of us, nor could I continue handling her impulsive nature and her abusive tendancies. So, I moved in with someone I thought was a friend. She told me I could stay there for free so I could save my money for a better situation (since I lost all my savings fleeing the last one). From the moment I moved in, she and her girlfriend treated me like scum. Then there were ridiculous passive aggressive moments that became actual aggressive moments (like when she decided to take trash out of the trash can and put it on my clean dishes to "tell me to take the trash out," or when they threw their agoraphobic cat outside during a rainstorm to accuse me of animal abuse). I served her with a cease and desist letter, to which she replied by having a state Marshall serve me with a notice to quit on grounds of "not paying." Then, that week, she got even worse with her "tricks," doing things like leaving sharp metal pieces at the base of the stairs, sabotaging my food, etc. At that point, I just decided my dogs and I were better off in a motel. My dogs are now staying with a different friend for the foreseeable future while I try to get my life back together. 

[ksgranola1]

I can envision JB sitting the older girls & the howlers down after the Josh fuckery & telling them this is what happens when you go out & mix w/non-fundies; that you will be corrupted and Jesus will not accept you. That would sound pretty scary to a young, impressionable fundie. Of course, we will never hear about that. Look at the incident of JD & Joseph going out w/the crew to have a beer. Corrupted.

[nausicaa]

unfortunately, my living situation is caused by trusting the wrong people and by having a hard time finding a full time job. I've been working 3-5 part time jobs and 2 irregular jobs since July, but my part time hours keep getting cut back. I had to leave my second to last living situation because my roommate at the time gave into her addictions and I couldn't support both of us, nor could I continue handling her impulsive nature and her abusive tendancies. So, I moved in with someone I thought was a friend. She told me I could stay there for free so I could save my money for a better situation (since I lost all my savings fleeing the last one). From the moment I moved in, she and her girlfriend treated me like scum. Then there were ridiculous passive aggressive moments that became actual aggressive moments (like when she decided to take trash out of the trash can and put it on my clean dishes to "tell me to take the trash out," or when they threw their agoraphobic cat outside during a rainstorm to accuse me of animal abuse). I served her with a cease and desist letter, to which she replied by having a state Marshall serve me with a notice to quit on grounds of "not paying." Then, that week, she got even worse with her "tricks," doing things like leaving sharp metal pieces at the base of the stairs, sabotaging my food, etc. At that point, I just decided my dogs and I were better off in a motel. My dogs are now staying with a different friend for the foreseeable future while I try to get my life back together. 

God, I'm sorry DTEIN. I hope things get better soon. 

[Karma]

At that point, I just decided my dogs and I were better off in a motel. My dogs are now staying with a different friend for the foreseeable future while I try to get my life back together. 

I hope your situation improves soon, and you find a permanent job and home.  That "friend" sounds like a nutter.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

I hope your situation improves soon, and you find a permanent job and home.  That "friend" sounds like a nutter.

God, I'm sorry DTEIN. I hope things get better soon. 

thanks  I'm hopeful for the future. And, if things really don't turn around soon, I'll just move back to my parents' house or move in with my grandparents. It's not ideal, but they've been trying to convince me to do that for months. Lol

[Gossamer1]

Look at the incident of JD & Joseph going out w/the crew to have a beer. Corrupted.

Wait, what?! Is that burried in a thread here or is it elsewhere on the interwebs?

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

Wait, what?! Is that burried in a thread here or is it elsewhere on the interwebs?

I missed this in this thread and I've never heard it before. I want to say this is probably a tumor cause I feel this site would have blown up over that. I mean, one of the older girls admitting to "accidentally" drinking at parties hijacked a lot of threads for a while. 

[HarryPotterFan]

 

thanks  I'm hopeful for the future. And, if things really don't turn around soon, I'll just move back to my parents' house or move in with my grandparents. It's not ideal, but they've been trying to convince me to do that for months. Lol

That so called friend sounds awful!! Beyond awful, really. I hope things turn around for you soon! As someone who moved back in with my parents, it's not so bad!

[Charliemae]

Wait, what?! Is that burried in a thread here or is it elsewhere on the interwebs?

It's part of the comments in the thread on an istagram account called famyfriday.  I am positive that they did NOT go out with the crew to have a beer, but saw the crew having wrap beers and told JB what they saw.  That is if the origonal comment can be trusted. 

Found the referenced comment 

 

• bassxcandyAlso one time the crew (4 people) were spotted having a wrap beer in the next town over. John and Joseph spotted them and ratted them out to Jim Bob. So even the ones you think keep to themselves really don't. Jim Bob lectured them pretty heavily about associating themselves with the children and choosing to have a drink afterwards.

 

[EmCatlyn]

 

It's part of the comments in the thread on an istagram account called famyfriday.  I am positive that they did NOT go out with the crew to have a beer, but saw the crew having wrap beers and told JB what they saw.  That is if the original comment can be trusted. 

I agree completely that they probably just ran into the crew.  That was what the person who posted on Instagram claimed had happened.  I think there is enough to snark on in that account ( the Duggar boys telling JB and JB haranguing the TLC crew) without having to invent something else.

[SassyPants]

So JB has been on his high media horse about drinking, pants, dating, hugging, kissing, books, education, birth control, materialism, and yet he procreated, raised and sheltered a teenage molester- A molester of his own daughters. 

He has raised a bevy of uneducated, unemployed and dependent young adults.

He has failed.

Yet he thinks he and his uneducated flock should be given TV shows that provide lots of easy income.

He must be 100% loco to have such reasoning.

Maybe there actually is rampant substance abuse in that family.