Duggars By the Dozen - General Discussion -14

[weirdemmaline]

I think John-David was around 18 when Josh got married.  What he did was very immature.  If he did that today I would think he's a major jerk but I'll give a pass to an immature 18 yr old JD.  For me the jury is still out on him.

Yeah Jana and John David were born in January of 1990 so they were closing in on 19 when Josh got married. 

[ljohnson2006]

TLC: Rewarding victims of forcible touching with television specials since 2015.

[kinphilly]

TLC: Rewarding victims of forcible touching with television specials since 2015.

I hope that I'm taking it differently than you intended it ... do you think they should be instead penalized by lack of paid work?    Jill & Jessa bring in ratings, so I don't see why they should be denied a show based on their brother's transgression against them ...         (If you think they should lose their show for other reasons, that's a different conversation)    

[ksgranola1]

It did sound like ljohnson2006 was blaming the girls for being victims. I'm thinking it was just awkwardly worded.

[Lysistrata]

I am going to have to agree that I do not like John David either. He seems very smirky in my opinion. In the courting season, he made several statements about making sure they were up to marrying his sisters and he also seemed to find great joy in making Ben clean/work while he ordered him about. In no way am I sticking up for Benjamin, but it seems like there was a scene where they were repairing a fence and no tools were brought. John David laughed and blamed it all on Ben but he was supposed to be training Ben and showing him what needed to be done so wouldn't that include telling him what tools would be needed? He even mentioned he would let his dad know who was slowing them up.  His statements just gave me a very odd feeling when he was on camera. It is the same feeling I get when Josh speaks. Ick.

The chore episode plot in essence was JD/Ben attempting all these chores, but nothing was getting done. My guess is the tools weren't forgotten.  Blame TLC for that storyline which tries to make something interesting out of non-interesting events.  But this is a show that considers dentist visits as engaging TV.   

As for busting Ben's balls, I think that's part of the Duggar men protecting their women schtick, and TLC is  encouraging this trope.  I remember an episode where Ben and maybe his mom too were road tripping for the first time with the Duggars.  The brothers said meh let Ben do the heavy lifting loading the busses.  He's got to impress us.  Same thing when you'd see the suitors with Josh-- he said that he was checking them out.  I think much of the machismo is played up for camera.  The most realistic reaction I saw was James' discussions of DerJill which was kinda nonplussed-- Derick seems fine,  Jill is happy so what's to eat.

The redecorating the girls room episode inserted a lot of unneeded drama to make it more interesting to watch paint dry, so I could see someone like JD just saying ug let's just get some mirrors/pictures on the walls.  In that episode I kind of saw him as speaking for the viewer, or maybe just me, because I was getting tired of JB slowing down the process.

I think JD is outgoing because he did run for constable and after he lost, he ran again (unopposed) so I wouldn't characterize him as "meek" as another poster did.

His lack of camera time I would attribute to  (1) what story lines would he get (since he's not courting)  and (2) he's got a face for radio.

[OMGracee]

Free food in Canada tomorrow!    Duggars love any free food...dressing up as pirates for free doughnuts...so will they or won't they???  lol

http://www.slurpee.ca/reverse7elevenday/

[Lysistrata]

The maxi hump at mini golf irked me for many of the reasons previously stated.  It's their poor parenting choice to make, i.e. giving the lesson that this is what you can do once you put a ring on it.  However, what about other random families and kids who happen to be there?  I doubt they took their kiddies to mini golf for  that lesson.  How many people are around when JimBob decides he wants to mount Meechelle?  And yes, the tv audience knows they are married (not that marriage made that little nature scene A-OK) but what about random people walking around?  JB would just be showing them that it's A-OK to grind at 2nd hole.

[missegeno]

I think John-David was around 18 when Josh got married.  What he did was very immature.  If he did that today I would think he's a major jerk but I'll give a pass to an immature 18 yr old JD.  For me the jury is still out on him.

This. I think he definitely has some traits I don't like, but he also seems to have a more solid head on his shoulders than some of his siblings.

The thing I think must be really terrible about growing up in that family is that it must be really hard to mature. You're just always around little kids and bible time as well as sodrt time are so kid- centric. People tend to be most like those people that they spend the most time with. So when all you really have to mimic is Josh, JB, and the youngin's, sticking with the latter group and being immature might be the best option.

[EmCatlyn]

This. I think he definitely has some traits I don't like, but he also seems to have a more solid head on his shoulders than some of his siblings.

 

The thing I think must be really terrible about growing up in that family is that it must be really hard to mature. You're just always around little kids and bible time as well as sodrt time are so kid- centric. People tend to be most like those people that they spend the most time with. So when all you really have to mimic is Josh, JB, and the youngin's, sticking with the latter group and being immature might be the best option.

Yes!  I know nothing about John David beyond what I read here, but I agree completely that you can't fault people for silly immature behavior when they are fairly young themselves and their role models are limited and/or defective.  

Overgrown kids are a problem in all cases because they have the power to do adult things but do them in childish ways.  In a family like this, where the same-sex "peer group" is either younger kids that you must take care of, or Josh who is a bully and a sneak . . . And where the patriarch effectively infantilizes everyone, it is not surprising that JD may have behaved like an overgrown 10 year old in his pranks.

It does seem, however that JD is becoming his own person.  Maybe by the time he is thirty we (and he) will know who that is.

[Suz8710]

I tend to believe JD is a good guy. I don't think he makes for good tv, but I admire his work ethic and interests outside of the public eye. He may not be shy but prob a combination of quiet and private. I appreciate how he doesn't feel the need to update us all on social media (I'm positive if JD really wanted to, he'd have an Instagram/fb/whatever). 

[Handmaiden of Dog]

I'm really on the fence about JD.  Yes, he has a good work ethic but so does JB-- I see them more as hustlers than hard workers, though.  There are plenty of guys out there trying out different avenues to make a fortune and that is what I see in JD and JB.  Are they guys who would spend an 8 or 10 hour shift at work then come home and work on the house?  Would they work weekends and extra shifts to put food on the table?  Meh.  Not so much from what I'm seeing.

 

As to the other stuff, what few photographs I've seen of him and his appearance on the show doesn't endear him to me.  He seems a bit too much like a huntin, fishin, truck-drivin, good ole boy who will expect his wife and children to be obedient and who doesn't value learning and education.  Not my kind of guy.

[Special friend]

Yes!  I know nothing about John David beyond what I read here, but I agree completely that you can't fault people for silly immature behavior when they are fairly young themselves and their role models are limited and/or defective.  

Overgrown kids are a problem in all cases because they have the power to do adult things but do them in childish ways.  In a family like this, where the same-sex "peer group" is either younger kids that you must take care of, or Josh who is a bully and a sneak . . . And where the patriarch effectively infantilizes everyone, it is not surprising that JD may have behaved like an overgrown 10 year old in his pranks.

I do agree with you on his being immature. However, I know *no* 10, 12 or 15 year olds who would think that this was okay. Not one. Silly pranks? Sure. Getting into trouble? Of course. Poor judgement? Absolutely.

But noone would think that disturbing a *wedding* in that way would even be an option. And I am a high school teacher, so I know a lot of teenagers. 

So this incident, IMO, can't be blamed on immaturity. It shows his character.

[SilverBeach]

I hope that I'm taking it differently than you intended it ... do you think they should be instead penalized by lack of paid work?    Jill & Jessa bring in ratings, so I don't see why they should be denied a show based on their brother's transgression against them ...         (If you think they should lose their show for other reasons, that's a different conversation)    

Paid work?  

What work? 

[RebelYell]

I guess I must be in the minority on the topic of JD trashing the wedding get away car. At every wedding I have ever attended, it is par for the course to trash the get away car. It is considered funny by everyone and a lot of people participate. Mostly its usually balloons, toilet paper, tin cans, and shaving cream, but if they sneak in something smelly its not considered *mean*. I personally would not do it to someone who I knew would not consider it to be funny.

[ClaraOswin]

I can honestly say I've never seen a "trashed" car at a wedding. So it's kind of a foreign concept to me.

Now in high school, as a joke, we used to trash our friends cars sometimes. And toilet paper their houses. But...we were 16-17 years old...so...yeah.

[LadyCrow1313]

I can honestly say I've never seen a "trashed" car at a wedding. So it's kind of a foreign concept to me.

Now in high school, as a joke, we used to trash our friends cars sometimes. And toilet paper their houses. But...we were 16-17 years old...so...yeah.

I can see a harmless prank or two, but they take it to the next level of obnoxiousness/jackassery. It's most likely tv schtick, I'm sure.

[Karma]

I can honestly say I've never seen a "trashed" car at a wedding. So it's kind of a foreign concept to me.

 

When we were married, early 90s, it was pretty common.  If I had a VCR to watch the video (filmed by a friend) I could still cringe at the condom rolled down over the handbrake... Shaving cream "just married" on the rear window , tins tied onto the back bumper, balloons in the back seat were all pretty standard.  I haven't been to a wedding in a while, so I don't know if it's as common these days?

[ClaraOswin]

Maybe it's regional or something.

[Londish]

It could be regional. I am from Florida, which I don't really consider to be the true "South" but I remember as a kid trashing cars at weddings. It was always a bunch of kids doing it but adults were around, facilitating it. I mean, someone has to buy the shaving cream!

 

I don't think it was ever mean-spirited so I just didn't think too much about when JD did it. It totally could just be common among his social group. Considering how many weddings fundies must be invited to, it would also make sense that not every moment is a solemn, serious affair.

[physicalscience]

I've been wondering, who runs the Duggar Family Blog?  It's very cryptic.  Family?  Friends?  leg humpers? 

There is a Duggar Family Blog run but Lily and Ellie (mom and daughter) who are leg humpers turned "friends" However, they do not run the twitter page in @JMO 's post. 

Here's a link to their blog: http://www.duggarfamilyblog.com/

Here's a link to their twitter: https://twitter.com/duggarblog

I'd say just a weird shirt.

I was looking at a larger version of that picture because I could have sworn that photo on the wall was Josh with a beard. But...it's not.

He might grow a beard as soon as he's freed, lord knows it would do wonders for his unfortunate chin(s)

Yes, I get the same uncomfortable vibe with him. Why on earth does he think it is funny trash people's cars? 

And even if you can look past that / explain it with the Duggar's (lack of) sense of humor, it was his idea to disturb his brother's ACTUAL WEDDING - not just the celebration afterwards - to put the spotlight onto himself (acting as if he forgot the rings,  jumping off the stage, RUNNING out of the church, for heavens sake, and RUNNING back in.) 

During the actual ceremony. A wedding. Just to steal the attention away from what was happening and  onto himself. 

Yeah, I do not get the impression that he is somehow shy AT ALL.

 

I rewatched this and don't believe it was "on purpose" as he said.  I think he was trying to save face - what best man could be so stupid to forget the rings? type of thing.

I tend to believe JD is a good guy. I don't think he makes for good tv, but I admire his work ethic and interests outside of the public eye. He may not be shy but prob a combination of quiet and private. I appreciate how he doesn't feel the need to update us all on social media (I'm positive if JD really wanted to, he'd have an Instagram/fb/whatever). 

I agree, except, I'm sure if/when he does get social media, those Duggar beliefs will shine right through.  I'd pin him as an unreasonable NRA enthusiast, with a dash of anti-abortion, and subtle "women belong in the home because I'm a provider" type of guy.

[St.Clara]

[Josh] might grow a beard as soon as he's freed, lord knows it would do wonders for his unfortunate chin(s)

Wait a minute, maybe that´s why he is nowhere to be found? His face is rather average, so with a beard he may well become quite a different person. (So different at least that a random viewer would not necessarily recognize "that weird guy from the tv show".)

Maybe JB told him to not shave, so they would be safe from any headlines about Josh sightings and the public´s attention could be softly drawn back to the more deserving Duggars (like Jessa and such). Maybe this is all part of JB´s ingenious strategy, especially designed to win back the family´s wholesome reputation?

[HarleyQuinn]

I feel like trashing cars/hotel rooms at weddings is really old fashioned. My mother kept telling me how her friends put salt in their bed sheets as a joke, then got really offended when I refused to give her my hotel key so she could put gifts in our room. Ain't nobody got time for that. 

ETA: I made it to Level Eleventy!!1!!1!!11!!!! I've always wanted this rank. lol

[Valerie3kids]

I am the JD "disliker". I guess I just don't find some of the stuff he does is funny or take it as a joke. I don't see how he can be any judge of a suitable husband for his sisters with the sheltered life he has led. Like the interrupting of a wedding? I felt so bad for Anna for more than one reason but she didn't need to be put through any more smuck to marry into the family. I saw no reason for him to be so hard on Ben. Yes, it may great TV but it also made him look like a complete smuck. If he were in Ben's situation I just don't think he would have handled it quite as well.  Yes, he is a constable but my understanding is that is not a paid job. So I go back to the "do any of them work?" For anyone besides their dad? I do believe he is on the shy side but I do also believe he is not going to break out against any of the fundie ideals as it would pretty much ruin the lifestyle he has set up. He comes and goes at will which none of the females are allowed to do.

[ClaraOswin]

I did actually see a photo of Josh recently with a sort-of beard. It was on a creepy collage on Instagram. Duggar fans are weird.

[Rescinded and Mended]

Jessa and Jill don't deserve to lose their shows because they were victims of their brother's molestation. They deserve to lose their shows because they got up on national television and not only defended his behavior toward them, but also excused his behavior toward the younger victims who could not (or were not allowed) to speak for themselves. THAT is the sin that is worthy of recrimination, one where these women used a national platform in order to downplay sexual abuse and the longterm effects that it can have on a family.