Josiah Duggar - Part 3 Now with lost heart pieces

[FaithAndReason]

Thank.The.Lord.

It's over. Those kids were way to young to get married. No job, little education and no prospects makes for a very dim future. I wish we could rescue Josiah. He doesn't belong with that crazy family.

[FundieFarmer]

It'll be interesting to see if this courtship cancellation paves a way for any of the other siblings. Doubt it, but a girl can hope.

[16strong]

I have to wonder if this courtship would have turned into a marriage if the Duggars were still on TV. Maybe this relationship was allowed to run its natural course because it occurred largely out of the spotlight, and they had less pressure to commit? At least, I hope so. I hope all of the Duggar kids will feel less pressure to be the perfect fundies now.

[FullmoonOverDuggardWaters]

Sadly their answer to that kind of thing is not "break up" it is "marry faster."

While I understand your reasoning, and that may be the case for the Duggars... We know not enough to assume the Jacksons are in accord.

I find it easy to imagine Marjorie showing her solidarity by walking away after having strayed from her purity promise, even in the least - hence the bible verse she quotes. Alternatively, the realization dawned on her when she noticed their intellectual incompatibility - maybe hes not up to par in his Christianity as she'd like him to be, considering she authored a bible-guide of her own at 16.

My point being, I find "sin in the camp" a totally plausible scenario. But who knows... Just my opinion! Or. Perhaps it was JimBoob and Michelle's crazy antics, they are scary.

...If my boyfriend's mother spoke to me in that baby voice, I'd run away too!

[JenniferJuniper]

I have to wonder if this courtship would have turned into a marriage if the Duggars were still on TV. Maybe this relationship was allowed to run its natural course because it occurred largely out of the spotlight, and they had less pressure to commit? At least, I hope so. I hope all of the Duggar kids will feel less pressure to be the perfect fundies now.

They probably would have been married.

As far as the break up goes, we mustn't rule out the possibility of Jim Bob nixing the courtship as he didn't want another passel of mouths to feed over the next few years. Marrying off the daughters is one thing, but as Marjorie would have been expected to stay barefoot and pregnant and Josiah hasn't any marketable skills, their upkeep would have fallen to his parents.

The Duggars are going to pay for their bad decisions relative to the upbringing of their kids for the rest of their lives.

[OodOnTheLoo]

I am just stunned by the fundy logic regarding courtships.

I am of the understanding that courtships equal dating with a purpose, that purpose being marriage. This means that a courtship is essentially two people deciding whether or not they want to marry each other. How does this prevent you from giving away pieces of your heart???

If you are serious about finding out if you want to marry said person, wouldn't you give them pieces of your heart? And then, if things dont work out, as in Josiah's case, you are left with a very serious hole in your heart, so to speak.

But if you went into the relationship with a more casual mindset, like, "lets see if I like this person", or "lets just get to know one another better", if things dont work out, you aren't left with such a big hole. Basically, what I am saying is, wouldn't you be less heartbroken if you ended things with a casual partner than a partner you are hoping to marry?

Yep. But it's not duggar-logic so much as duggar-speak. It has nothing to do with their hearts and everything to do with hymens.

All about controlling those kids until they are stirred up into a baby making trap.

[hollywood]

I wonder if stuff started happening between them earlier last year and that is why she quit posting on her blog? Because the courtship ended and she magically, a year later, starts writing again.

[ClaraOswin]

Did we ever find out how old the Marjorie's mom was? She looked so young. I always wondered if Marjorie didn't have some pressure as well to get married young.

I have a middle school aged daughter and many of the parents of her friends are 30-32, married living in stucco mini-mansions. There are so many 4-5 generation families , each generation married before 20. These moms fully expect their daughters to marry at 18-19.

I'm happy that the courtship is over. I just hope both kids are being supported emotionally and not put down for any failures or sins.

Yikes. I just know I am going to end up being one of the "old moms" when my son goes to school. Ugh. I would never encourage my child(ren) to get married as teens.

[ClaraOswin]

Can someone link me to Marjorie's blog?

[Georgiana]

They probably would have been married.

As far as the break up goes, we mustn't rule out the possibility of Jim Bob nixing the courtship as he didn't want another passel of mouths to feed over the next few years. Marrying off the daughters is one thing, but as Marjorie would have been expected to stay barefoot and pregnant and Josiah hasn't any marketable skills, their upkeep would have fallen to his parents.

The Duggars are going to pay for their bad decisions relative to the upbringing of their kids for the rest of their lives.

This is true. In order to "court", you have to be ready for marriage, which means that the male must be somewhat financially secure.

It's possible it wasn't JB at all though. It is possible that Marjorie's father asked Josiah to show how he would support Marjorie without the show, and found Josiah's answer wanting. Since Josiah was no longer financially ready for marriage, Marjorie's parents may have said the courtship could not continue until he was.

Heck, it's even possible that they put the courtship temporarily on hold and gave Josiah these last couple months to rectify the situation. When he couldn't come up with a stable source of income in 2 months, they may have decided to call it off.

Or maybe she did the above instead of her parents.

Honestly, if this was the reason, I'd say it's pretty fair. Sure, it sucks for Siah and Marjorie, but it's far better than ending up in a Jill Rodrigues/Esther Keller Schrader situation where you are married to a man with no job, no prospects, and have ever increasing numbers of mouths to feed. Sure it would be best if they all got out, but if she wants to stay in this lifestyle/stay at home, she needs to marry a man who can support that.

[HarleyQuinn]

Can someone link me to Marjorie's blog?

Here it is in all its snobby glory:

marjoriejackson.wordpress.com

[twinmama]

Thank.The.Lord.

It's over. Those kids were way to young to get married. No job, little education and no prospects makes for a very dim future. I wish we could rescue Josiah. He doesn't belong with that crazy family.

Sadly so far it seems the Duggar kids are beyond saving. At least we can watch the potential mates be saved from them! I think my biggest hope for what will come with the cancellation is that they will feel less public pressure to be perfect little Duggars who stay in the fold. No tv show watching their every move, perhaps one or two will stray a bit and decide they are freaking adults who deserve their own lives!

[twinmama]

While I understand your reasoning, and that may be the case for the Duggars... We know not enough to assume the Jacksons are in accord.

I find it easy to imagine Marjorie showing her solidarity by walking away after having strayed from her purity promise, even in the least - hence the bible verse she quotes. Alternatively, the realization dawned on her when she noticed their intellectual incompatibility - maybe hes not up to par in his Christianity as she'd like him to be, considering she authored a bible-guide of her own at 16.

My point being, I find "sin in the camp" a totally plausible scenario. But who knows... Just my opinion! Or. Perhaps it was JimBoob and Michelle's crazy antics, they are scary.

...If my boyfriend's mother spoke to me in that baby voice, I'd run away too!

This made me realize I look at the whole thing like the kids have no say in how it goes. The way I was looking at it, right or wrong, was like the parents were saying "you are now court... you are now done courting" which I think either set of parents would encourage marriage for lusty sins. But I can see it your way if Marjorie was really involved in the decision to end it.

[twinmama]

Yikes. I just know I am going to end up being one of the "old moms" when my son goes to school. Ugh. I would never encourage my child(ren) to get married as teens.

So different, the things people encourage their children to do. Me? Gonna encourage my boys to get full educations and jobs, live and sleep with their loved one, THEN marry if they want. Of course, it's all their decision what they actually do but that is my advice (they're 3 currently, so who knows what I'll say when it's actually time).

[Rubyroo]

Here it is in all it's snobby glory:

marjoriejackson.wordpress.com

I read the post about spiritual starvation and I feel like this quote is applicable to this thread

And sure enough, my spiritual health does suffer! I often find myself acting without thinking and going with fleshly impulses when the Word isn’t fresh on my mind!

Fleshy impulses? Does this sound like what I think it sounds like?

[jqlgoblue]

This makes the most sense. Marjorie came off, in the bit we've seen of her as very thirsty for the spotlight. She probably fit Boob's needs well (except those jeans of course) I do think she pulled the plug, probably because no TV show and bad press from their scandal.

This is certainly a fair reason... something looked really shinny at first and then wasn't in the end.

(snip)

[tcach]

Perhaps she agreed to hold off on blogging until the information of the breakup became public. Jim Bob in his role as puppeteer?

[MatthewDuggar]

(snip)

We'r not allowed to discuss that here. :roll:

[Phoenix]

I think Marjorie was incredibly lucky to dodge being a public Duggar bride. She was polished and has acting experience which made her look more eager for the role but I can't help but think she was doing exactly that, playing a role with no real understanding of what it would have meant for her 5, 10, 15 years down the road.

As usual God's will happens to coincide perfectly with the Duggar's desires. :doh:

[Phoenix]

I can't say I'm surprised, but I also wanna know if it was one breaking up with the other :think: even though they said it was supposedly neutral.

The Daily Mail article lead implied Josiah called it off. Yes, I know, not exactly a pristine source. All the blah, blah about it being a mutual decision comes later.

"There may not be another Duggar wedding in the works after all, as the Duggar family has announced that 18-year-old Josiah has broken up with 17-year-old Marjorie Jackson."

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... z3hyTVPBMC

Edited once for clarity.

[HereticHick]

I wonder if there is still time for Josiah to go to Crown College this fall? I hope Joseph is returning there as well. Any place is better than the Superfund toxic wasteland clusterf**k of the Duggar compound.

[Snarkle]

When the J'Slaves help with laundry, are they allowed to touch the male underwear?

Anyway, back to Josiah & Marge--what are the odds that they will still be together in 2 months?

Apparently not good - not even a month!

[Ursula]

I thought I read from former cult members that in Got-hard land the male is never, EVER to be the one to call off the "courtship". Only the female involved can dump the male. Can someone confirm or deny this please? It doesn't really matter either way, and we don't need or deserve every teeny detail as this is a private matter (er, of sorts since it was announced via a People article) but it would be interesting to know, or at least have more info to speculate on who dumped whom.

Either way I'm glad they broke up because 17 and 19 (almost 19), FUCK THAT. I guess Jimboob wanted to see a repeat of him and OfJimboob but the big difference would have been that Josiah and Marge wouldn't have had the luxury of using birth control for four years before their first blessing came along. They could have potentially made three or four more Duggars than Duggar family 1.0! AHHH!

Marge, go to college, earn a degree, get a job, enjoy life.

Josiah, go to college, earn a degree, get a job, enjoy life.

Maybe in a couple of years you two can pick things up again where you left off or maybe you'll both grow as people and meet others and discover if you had gotten married as teens it would have been a Huge Mistake. Thankfully you've been spared...for now :?

[DeFrauder]

Yep. But it's not duggar-logic so much as duggar-speak. It has nothing to do with their hearts and everything to do with hymens.

All about controlling those kids until they are stirred up into a baby making trap.

What they mean by giving away pieces of their heart is that they didn't have sex. People like the Duggars seem to believe that sex is the most important part of the relationship and that having sex forever binds your soul to that person. Therefore if you have sex with one person and then marry another--you have already given a piece of your heart to another person. They think of that piece of heart as a physical thing---its gone and can't be retrieved.

Sadly, they do not seem to have a concept of a deep emotional relationship and how it trumps any past sexual activity either party might have engaged in.

[SassyPants]

What they mean by giving away pieces of their heart is that they didn't have sex. People like the Duggars seem to believe that sex is the most important part of the relationship and that having sex forever binds your soul to that person. Therefore if you have sex with one person and then marry another--you have already given a piece of your heart to another person. They think of that piece of heart as a physical thing---its gone and can't be retrieved.

Sadly, they do not seem to have a concept of a deep emotional relationship and how it trumps any past sexual activity either party might have engaged in.

They truly do not understand that relationships are about far more than sex. Notice how they do not have real or lasting relationships beyond their 4 walls? They do not know how to communicate or be friends with people. They do not understand the give and take of being in a healthy relationship. They do not understand that a life long relationship involves more than 24/7/365 physical contact. Ben would show a much deeper understanding and love for his wife and soon to be born child, if he went out and secured a paying job with HC benefits.

In the relationship, love and commitment departments all of the Duggars are stunted and immature.