Josh Duggar Admits to Molestation Rumors - Part 2

[MalteseBaby]

Something like this happened to me when I was only a little younger than Joy-Anna (thankfully not a member of my family) and I don't remember it at all. I only know because I have been told it happened by my mother.

Is it better to remember it or not?

The answer I can give is not whether it is better to remember or not, but how you process the information and how you have healed ( or not healed).

You don't have to have the photographic memory of what happened to know that it did because your mother has told you about it.

If you were under 4 years old, it's not unusual not to remember incidents that happened when you were 3 years old, no matter how horrific they are to us when we are older.

A very good therapist ( psychologist or psychiatrist) can help recover memories if you are concerned about not remembering, but if we are only 3, it's not unusual not to remember naturally. You may never remember due to your young age at the time of the molestation.

I don't know how old you are, but at some point in your life, you may feel the need to confront your abuser as it is often therapeutic to say face to face how you feel about what they did to you. Again, a very good therapist who specializes in this type of trauma can help you say what you need to say and to say it before the perp. dies or is otherwise inaccessible.

I'm so sorry you were molested as a young child. You are helping others when you speak out.

[insanityzcat]

As an oldest child, I'm completely devastated because how could he? How can you do that?

When you are the oldest of many children, with unusual age differences (my youngest sibling is ten years my junior), you're second to your parents. It is a precious bond, and it's a gift and a privilege. I would murder anyone who tried to touch them, and I would shoot myself if somehow that thought even came into my head. How can you take advantage of that love, that unyielding faith that's in the eyes of the little sibling who comes to you with their arms up, wanting you to pick them up? Each of my brothers had a phase where they would do the Mommy/Daddy-don't-leave-me cry with a babysitter, but they were fine if I took them on my lap. I was a young child too, but they had that kind of trust in me. I got in the way of a whipping a couple times trying to defend them, because that's what you do. I earned a whipping a couple times lying for them, because that's what you do when your parents are crazy and you're the only one they've got. You are supposed to protect your baby siblings. How fucking dare he betray that?

He not only failed to protect them, he was the one who did the damage. It's horrifying.

I wish it hadn't happened. I didn't WANT this to ever have happened but I've been waiting for SOMETHING to come out. Every last one of us knew something was wrong. That's why this site was started, that's why us lurkers read so much, seeing you posters say the things that we want to say but don't have the words for. We all knew and no one could prove it, and we wait for proof, and now some saint has given it to us.

Now it's out. What else is being hidden? Jim and J'Chelle, I'm looking at you, because it was you or someone in the church leadership. The kids didn't know anyone else.

I really hope somehow all of this is wrong because it's so horrific that I burst into tears when I read the report and realized that I was almost certainly reading about him doing this to his sisters. His own baby sisters, who probably received no counseling, and wondered why they felt so awful, and figured it was their own fault and they must have done something wrong for big brother to have done what he done, and god help me, someone is chopping onions again. I can't fathom how he could have had it in him. What happened to him?

This is why none of them got their own rooms.

The Duggar reign is hopefully over. They can't influence people anymore. Now they can know what we knew, and see that the most perfect families are the ones that have the most skeletons.

Now someone needs to start an investigation, and see what else is going on. "Only" incest and molestation once is impossible. You don't just move on from that.

Sorry if this was too long. I'm really upset, it took me awhile to figure out exactly why, and I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who is.

tldr; this made me cry and fuck the Duggars for letting him get away with this and not finding out where it started

[carriedaway14]

I don't think Bin or Derrick released these reports. I think it was one of the Jslaves, who did it knowing it would end the show. Like someone said, it was probably one of the married girls, but I also wouldn't be surprised if it was Jana or Jinger, especially after TLC showed Josie's seizure. Jana gave the interview for the Josie episode alone (which is unusual for her). Jana and Jinger are also the ones that seem to struggle the most, in terms of being on TV and dealing with these traumatic experiences they've gone through all while pretending everything's okay. Maybe without Jessa around, Jinger is feeling the pain of what happened to her on a scale that she hadn't experienced before? Maybe Jana is done with this circus and wants people to know the truth?

It could be any of them.

Someone wanted this show to end. I wouldn't be surprised if this someone was a JSlave.

Edit: Spelling and grammar

[jinseng]

Something like this happened to me when I was only a little younger than Joy-Anna (thankfully not a member of my family) and I don't remember it at all. I only know because I have been told it happened by my mother.

Is it better to remember it or not?

Actually, forgetting the incident is thought to be a self-protecting mechanism. Burying painful and traumatic memories deep in the 'subconscious' is a coping mechanism. So it is extremely common for women who have been sexually abused to only remember glimpses of it, or nothing at all. None the less, even without vivid memories of the event, victims of sexual abuse can grow up to struggle with low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, PTSD, borderline personality disorder, the list goes on. I should say I wouldn't assume anything about you or the Duggar girls. This is just what mental health research shows.

[drivingmishcrazy]

Yeah the coaching was very clear. They all like spelling. They like broom ball. They hate math.

I want to know who was able to read princess books...

On the princess books, I have my ideas, but I'm not sure it's altogether fair or right to mention names. :-/

[jerichojones]

On the princess books, I have my ideas, but I'm not sure it's altogether fair or right to mention names. :-/

Yeah I know what you mean. My speculation was more about the books themselves. I'd rather not think about who it was or wasn't that was victimised. The books just struck me because I've always been an avid reader and I've always noticed how few books they have, all very filtered and censored and books about princesses and adventures struck me as in-duggar-like. Isn't that sad?

[sisterwives]

I've followed the Duggars sporadically for years but only got really invested after Jessa's wedding. Jessa's wedding was like a bizarre part of Fundieland because I remember half watching Josh's wedding and the rinky dink show that was. Anyway, since then i've been poking around on these forums and found these rumors early on. I felt in my heart they were true, particularly with how Jana acted -- something just felt really off about her. In Josh's wedding episode, she says that she's been praying for God to find Josh a wife and i just found that so weird. I know its normal to be happy for your brother but its another to be actively praying for him to get the hell out of the house. And another thing was the episode where it showed her giving some kind of speech about forgiveness about the Jessa/jewelry box thing. She was weeping on stage saying "it is our responsibility to forgive." I felt like that was such an overreaction for a 25 year old and a jewelry box but putting that into the context of this abuse (whether she was abused or not -- if she was not, she probably was uniquely traumatized by having her sisters that she had helped raise to be victimized in such a way), it makes sense in a way. Even secular women feel the pressure to forgive their abusers and be the bigger person, etc.

I wish all of the girls, from Jana to Josie, to find love and peace. Maybe they won't find it in Jchelle and Jim Bob but those girls are gems and I'm sure it will come to them.

[jinseng]

Im pretty sure the only princess book they were allowed to read was Sarah Mally's 'Before you meet prince charming: A guide to radiant purity'.

It's a Gothard approved story written by a woman raised in ATI. The book is for pre-teens, and tells a story about a prince looking for his princess to marry. The point of the book is to indoctrinate young women to remain pure in their thoughts and actions so as to remain pure for their future husband.

[grandmadugger]

Maybe it was Jessa. It's got to be eye opening to talk to your sisters in law and have one of them say, "This one time Ben lost his mind because a boy made a comment about how I was dressed." It would be a sudden realization that brothers instinctively protect their little sisters. Those poor girls.

[jinseng]

On Josh and Anna's website http://ja20.com/ourstory/ , Josh alludes to what he did... Under 'How did Josh and Anna Meet? he writes the following:

'Josh: As I became a teenage young man I was constantly tempted to have lots of wrong thoughts, and often battled to keep my heart right. One of the greatest things that helped me in my struggles was my parent’s commitment to accountability. They were faithful to talk with each one of their children – if we were willing to share honestly & openly with them – to maintain a clear conscience. I learned quickly that great freedom can be achieved by accountability, and great accountability requires humility & openness. I often had failures in my early teenage years, but found I had a clear conscience only when I was willing to confess my thoughts and temptations quickly to God & my parents. (1 John 1:9)'

[pumpkie0]

I can share my theory on this. When we are growing up, we look at safety in one way. But- when we have a baby or are pregnant with a baby, we women look at the environment and what's safe for the precious baby a lot differently.

It may be a very strong emotion for many men as well, IDK, because my ex-husband never shared his feelings about our child.

My bet is that one of the married Duggar girls requested and then leaked the reports. Oprah may still have a hand in some things as well, such as encouraging the young mothers to be pro-active for their babies. Oprah was raped as a child, she knows generational abuse.

The young adult victims' children could be at risk now or in the future because none of us know what is in Josh's mind or what his boundaries are now.

Its also well known victims of sexual abuse when they get pregnant, when they deliver and even more so when its a daughter trigger a whole ton on memories and flashbacks. You then realize its not just you that you need to protect

[lookinggoodforjesus]

Maybe it was Jessa. It's got to be eye opening to talk to your sisters in law and have one of them say, "This one time Ben lost his mind because a boy made a comment about how I was dressed." It would be a sudden realization that brothers instinctively protect their little sisters. Those poor girls.

EVERY SINGLE BOY/MAN I have known has been crazy-defensive of his sister(s). ALL of them. Even older sisters. And those instincts are apparent from a young age. I guess what strikes me is that in retrospect, Josh has never demonstrated any protective instincts toward any of his siblings.

[pumpkie0]

Something like this happened to me when I was only a little younger than Joy-Anna (thankfully not a member of my family) and I don't remember it at all. I only know because I have been told it happened by my mother.

Is it better to remember it or not?

Trust me its better to not know ever to never have to relive it every day of your life.

[miffy]

I archived the About Us section on the Josh & Anna website just in case they nuke it.

https://archive.is/GkWhF

[HuggleMonster]

Trust me its better to not know ever to never have to relive it every day of your life.

I do believe it was an Oprah special that she or a specialist said something along the lines of

'When it comes to being abused, you can really only answer yes or I don't know because the mind often blocks out traumatic memories'

Possibly when she did the Trudi Chase interview.

[grandmadugger]

EVERY SINGLE BOY/MAN I have known has been crazy-defensive of his sister(s). ALL of them. Even older sisters. And those instincts are apparent from a young age. I guess what strikes me is that in retrospect, Josh has never demonstrated any protective instincts toward any of his siblings.

Yeah I've never known a guy who wasn't. I didn't have a brother but I had two male friends who were like brothers. They were insanely protective. They actually ran off a guy I was dating. Looking back I'm thankful they did he was a scumbag. I guess they had JD but he was too young to protect them from Josh.

[lookinggoodforjesus]

Dare I say, Josh is really being held accountable now.

[wanderhome]

I still can't believe this has come out. I'm just heart broken and slightly baffled.

I'm rewatching the Erica Hill interview and it's so uncomfortable, especially when J'chelle talks about tempting men. Boob seems to glance over at Jana and the look on her face in the next frame kills me.

I just want to hug her, but respect her boundaries at the same time.

[Mandysue]

EVERY SINGLE BOY/MAN I have known has been crazy-defensive of his sister(s). ALL of them. Even older sisters. And those instincts are apparent from a young age. I guess what strikes me is that in retrospect, Josh has never demonstrated any protective instincts toward any of his siblings.

This. Just this.

Five years ago I told my brother that my dad's second wife was abusive towards me. Thirty years later he was so upset that I am sure he would have hunted her down if he had been in the same state.

My brothers are there for me no matter what. Even as as 46 year old that is an awesome feeling.

[MisUndrstd]

EVERY SINGLE BOY/MAN I have known has been crazy-defensive of his sister(s). ALL of them. Even older sisters. And those instincts are apparent from a young age. I guess what strikes me is that in retrospect, Josh has never demonstrated any protective instincts toward any of his siblings.

Josh is out for one thing only, Josh Duggar. He is the type that will step on, smear or ruin whoever he feels gets in his way. He doesn't have a conscious, there is possibly a good chance he is a sociopath. Josh has no concerns for his siblings and now especially with this going down he has more hatred for them than ever before. What he did was not about being "curious" it was about power. He wanted to exert his control over the girls and I'm glad the girls told because if they hadn't there is no telling how bad it could have got. When he is featured in a group setting on the show he talks over people, he always has to be front and center. This wasn't about just another hormonal teenaged boy, it was about a teenaged boy that wanted to see how far he could go, he wanted to see how much power he could exert before someone fought back. JB and Michelle knew they had to get him out of their home so they married him off at the age of 20 to little mousey Anna, who would submit and do as Josh wanted of her. In my opinion he is a dangerous person. I can't believe the Duggars were able to put up with this charade for as long as they have.

[lawlifelgbt]

I feel so bad for them, and I hope they can find closure. I am also worried about Mackynzie, since this sort of thing continues. There is a predator in my spouse's family (spouse is a survivor), and we have, after initial fear/paralysis, GOT OVER IT and done many things (telling Kid's parents, directly threatening Predator, making a report to CPS, making sure they don't ever interact, and telling Kid to scream bloody murder if he ever touches her in any way, shape, or form), when we merely believed that some grooming was happening. You do it to one generation...it can continue in the next. There's a duty to protect.

This is where the Duggars really failed. They needed to at least keep Josh separate, as in, not in the same house, and make clear to Josh and the girls that he is not allowed to touch them in any way, not even "normal" affection, given his history.

[Callipygian]

I was at work when this all happened, and I've been catching up since 9pm, it's now 2:45.

My heart aches so badly for the girls. I mostly watch the show for them, because it sort of gives me an idea of what it might be like to have a sister (I have a brother). I am so angry for them, because according to Gothard, it's their fault, which couldn't be further from the truth. They shouldn't have such a burden weighing down on them because of something they were forced into. Fuck JB and Michelle. Fuck fuck fuck them!! They let Josh off with basically a slap on the wrist, while the girls had to see him every day and keep sweet, all while feeling unnesscary guilt because of their parents fucked up belief system. I'm so fucking mad. I hope as time goes on that they are able to question or even remove themselves from Gothardism.

I just want to sweep them all into a big hug. I hope they're doing alright. I think, outside of their beliefs (which were forced onto them, and which they haven't been able to question), they're all sweet, well-meaning girls, especially Jana and Jinger. I'm so upset that I'm rambling. I just hope they're okay right now. Poor loves.

[ADoyle90815]

Josh is out for one thing only, Josh Duggar. He is the type that will step on, smear or ruin whoever he feels gets in his way. He doesn't have a conscious, there is possibly a good change he is a sociopath. Josh has no concerns for his siblings and now especially with this going down he has more hatred for them than ever before. What he did was not about being "curious" it was about power. He wanted to exert his control over the girls and I'm glad the girls told because if they hadn't there is no telling how bad it could have got. When he is feature in a group setting he talks over people, he always has to be front and center. This wasn't about just another hormonal teenaged boy, it was about a teenaged boy that wanted to see how far he could go, he wanted to see how much power he could exert before someone fought back. JB and Michelle knew they had to get him out of their home so they married him off at the age of 20 to little mousey Anna, who would submit and do as Josh wanted of her. In my opinion he is a dangerous person. I can't believe the Duggars were able to put up with this charade for as long as they have.

I do think it's a possibility that Josh Duggar is a sociopath, or at the very least, a narcissist who only is out for himself, and will step on anyone to get in his way. Now, 6 year old siblings might play Doctor, but it's not a normal thing at all for a teenager to molest a child, and certainly not your sisters. Last I checked, incestual sexual abuse is not a traditional "family value." The most disturbing thing is that Anna married him knowing that about him, and even has had children with him that he could potentially abuse since often, child abusers start out by molesting when they're teenagers.

[Georgiana]

I may be remembering incorrectly, but back when Josh was still at home, didn't he have his own room? Wasn't it boys dorm, girl's dorm, Josh's room/office? I thought he was just getting eldest boy treatment at the time, but once he moved out, it returned to a family space. Maybe this is why?

[grandmadugger]

Josh is out for one thing only, Josh Duggar. He is the type that will step on, smear or ruin whoever he feels gets in his way. He doesn't have a conscious, there is possibly a good change he is a sociopath. Josh has no concerns for his siblings and now especially with this going down he has more hatred for them than ever before. What he did was not about being "curious" it was about power. He wanted to exert his control over the girls and I'm glad the girls told because if they hadn't there is no telling how bad it could have got. When he is feature in a group setting he talks over people, he always has to be front and center. This wasn't about just another hormonal teenaged boy, it was about a teenaged boy that wanted to see how far he could go, he wanted to see how much power he could exert before someone fought back. JB and Michelle knew they had to get him out of their home so they married him off at the age of 20 to little mousey Anna, who would submit and do as Josh wanted of her. In my opinion he is a dangerous person. I can't believe the Duggars were able to put up with this charade for as long as they have.

He had been taught for so long he wasn't responsible for his actions and boys were better than girls he actually believed it. Not only did he believe it he thought that gave him the right to do what he did. Even his apology is all about him and how it effected his life not one thing about his victims. He still to this day doesn't get he hurt others all by himself. He probably still thinks they defrauded him.