Erika Shupe Miscarriage

[mango_fandango]

My first post!

I have been reasond Erica's blog this week and it is making my sick.

I'm at the entry about raising the twins. "Twins-our life with them so far *smile*" from May 2012 and its gut wrenching.

She's talking about the worst thing about being on bed rest was watching her children's training and organization go out the window. Because she would have to re-train the children after the babies were born. And between that and re-organizing and cleaning she would never catch up.

Those poor kids. When I was on bed rest with my third it killed me that I couldn't spend time and play with my other two. That I was missing out and I was worried about the baby I was carrying. The state of my house wasn't a thought.

I hope a few of the older ones break out and rescue the rest.

The more I read the worse it gets. But I can't stop....

Firstly, :)

Secondly, I agree with the bolded. Totally with you. It's about a year since I first discovered LFoP and realised about the crazy, but ever since I've just been looking at the blog/the Facebook page with a mixture of fascination and disbelief. And plenty of horror. And now she's expecting her 10th child, which will be born over five years after the twins were, I'm more glued than ever.

[Eternalbluepearl]

Firstly, :)

Secondly, I agree with the bolded. Totally with you. It's about a year since I first discovered LFoP and realised about the crazy, but ever since I've just been looking at the blog/the Facebook page with a mixture of fascination and disbelief. And plenty of horror. And now she's expecting her 10th child, which will be born over five years after the twins were, I'm more glued than ever.

Welcome! I agree with you that she sounds robotic and crazy. I also think some of this is differences in personality though. I don't have kids yet, but the state of my house is a big deal to me. If I couldn't stay on top of my daily and weekly upkeep, I would be very uncomfortable with that. I'm sure on top of being worried about my baby. But still, I can understand being worried about my house being messy. It's a very real issue that I have. The need for every bed to be made, every surface to be clean and all chores to be done, arose during puberty and has never left. I'd make a great helpmeet! :lol:

[momof2treasures]

It's not about the cleaning. It's about the extreme control of every second of every second of the kids day. From sunup to bed every moment is scheduled in. Every thing has a system , everything!

[scoutsadie]

Sounds like she gets her "over population myth" info from the same place as the Duggars. How would doctors benefit from discouraging women to have kids? Why would the perpetuate this "conspiracy"?

[Bazinga]

Ok I debated sharing this with you guys last year and then never did. Now that I saw this thread I figured you guys might like this little nugget.

Last year we went to the homeschool convention in WA. We were debating it for our kids and just wanted to attend the general information classes. Well I knew about Erica and kept an eye out for her. Never saw her until the last day. I was in a homeschool beginners class (where they shared WAs rules and regulations)

At the end of the presentation the presenter asked if anyone had questions. Erica asked what to do if your oldest child wasnt into it anymore and if there was anything she could do to force her child to like at it. She went on about how much attitude she was getting from the oldest and how it was affecting the younger kids. The presenter looked at her like WTF lady.

I get the feeling everything is not all sunshine and rainbows as she shows on the blog.

*edited for spelling

[mango_fandango]

Ok I debated sharing this with you guys last year and then never did. Now that I saw this thread I figured you guys might like this little nugget.

Last year we went to the homeschool convention in WA. We were debating it for our kids and just wanted to attend the general information classes. Well I knew about Erica and kept an eye out for her. Never saw her until the last day. I was in a homeschool beginners class (where they shared WAs rules and regulations)

At the end of the presentation the presenter asked if anyone had questions. Erica asked what to do if your oldest child wasnt into it anymore and if there was anything she could do to force her child to like at it. She went on about how much attitude she was getting from the oldest and how it was affecting the younger kids. The presenter looked at her like WTF lady.

I get the feeling everything is not all sunshine and rainbows as she shows on the blog.

*edited for spelling

She's mentioned before, I think on her Facebook page, that the older girls are teenagers affected by "hormone poisoning". Jesus. Way to make it sound like your girls are terrible people for having normal teenage behaviour.

If Karen isn't liking the family setup any more, then I bet she's gonna break free once she's out of the house. She'll still remember a time when they could wear pants/shorts. During that pregnancy announcement, she burst into tears, hands over her face. Maybe it was tears of happiness, but then maybe it was her thinking about how she'll have to be stuck at home a few more years to look after the new baby. After all, she was up to feed the twins when they were babies, and seems to be the main carer for Happy, so who knows. FREE KAREN.

[Cheetah]

She's mentioned before, I think on her Facebook page, that the older girls are teenagers affected by "hormone poisoning". Jesus. Way to make it sound like your girls are terrible people for having normal teenage behaviour.

If Karen isn't liking the family setup any more, then I bet she's gonna break free once she's out of the house. She'll still remember a time when they could wear pants/shorts. During that pregnancy announcement, she burst into tears, hands over her face. Maybe it was tears of happiness, but then maybe it was her thinking about how she'll have to be stuck at home a few more years to look after the new baby. After all, she was up to feed the twins when they were babies, and seems to be the main carer for Happy, so who knows. FREE KAREN.

I know a couple of people that got into homeschooling specifically so they didn't have to get up so early in the morning to get kids to school. Even if that's not your primary motivation, it's certainly a perk. So Erica's posted schedules where her teen daughters are up at... like 6am (not going back to look, but I know it's way early for a teenager)... are just crazy. Why not let the girls shift their schedules an hour or two later... especially if they are having some grumbles about homeschooling in general.

[honeymilk]

I'm sorry if this is off-topic, because we've been talking about her food issues and homeschooling, but...isn't she only 1 month pregnant? From my understanding, she's due in January 2016, which means she could definitely still miscarry (which I wouldn't wish on anyone, even awful fundies). I'm all about telling people you're pregnant early if you want, because miscarriages are nothing to be ashamed of, but it seems really weird that she would just post it on her blog for the public.

[JillyO]

I know a couple of people that got into homeschooling specifically so they didn't have to get up so early in the morning to get kids to school. Even if that's not your primary motivation, it's certainly a perk. So Erica's posted schedules where her teen daughters are up at... like 6am (not going back to look, but I know it's way early for a teenager)... are just crazy. Why not let the girls shift their schedules an hour or two later... especially if they are having some grumbles about homeschooling in general.

She has posted about this. All of her children go to bed at the same time: 9 pm. Yes, the 4-year-olds and the 16-year-old have the same bed time. Now she realizes that her teenagers don't need 10 1/2 hours of sleep, so she allows them to get up as early as they want. She does not, however, allow them to stay up late, because after 9 pm, it's mommy and daddy time. So there you go. I have no trouble believing they willingly get up at 6 or 6:30 if they're forced to go to bed at 9, and because that's the only time of day when they have even a tiny bit of privacy.

[DarkAnts]

Ok I debated sharing this with you guys last year and then never did. Now that I saw this thread I figured you guys might like this little nugget.

Last year we went to the homeschool convention in WA. We were debating it for our kids and just wanted to attend the general information classes. Well I knew about Erica and kept an eye out for her. Never saw her until the last day. I was in a homeschool beginners class (where they shared WAs rules and regulations)

At the end of the presentation the presenter asked if anyone had questions. Erica asked what to do if your oldest child wasnt into it anymore and if there was anything she could do to force her child to like at it. She went on about how much attitude she was getting from the oldest and how it was affecting the younger kids. The presenter looked at her like WTF lady.

I get the feeling everything is not all sunshine and rainbows as she shows on the blog.

*edited for spelling

If you are still looking at homeschooling, many states have a few homeschooling options. there are state run program with classes done via the Internet. There are also charter schools that are basically like homeschooling. The parents are given the materials and assignments from the charter school. The parents teach their children and grade the assignments. They meet with a teacher fro the district a few times a month to go over the lesson plans and coach the parents. The teacher also goes over the assignments and corrects anything the parents miss. The teachers keep track of scores and are the ones who issue the final grades.

Washington has or had. Program called running start. It allowed high school children to take classes at community college classes in place of some high school classes. One of my friends was homeschooled. Her parents took advantage of this program. My friend graduated one year early because of the community college classes she got to take for free.

[Luisainlondon1]

Ok I debated sharing this with you guys last year and then never did. Now that I saw this thread I figured you guys might like this little nugget.

Last year we went to the homeschool convention in WA. We were debating it for our kids and just wanted to attend the general information classes. Well I knew about Erica and kept an eye out for her. Never saw her until the last day. I was in a homeschool beginners class (where they shared WAs rules and regulations)

At the end of the presentation the presenter asked if anyone had questions. Erica asked what to do if your oldest child wasnt into it anymore and if there was anything she could do to force her child to like at it. She went on about how much attitude she was getting from the oldest and how it was affecting the younger kids. The presenter looked at her like WTF lady.

I get the feeling everything is not all sunshine and rainbows as she shows on the blog.

*edited for spelling

This really breaks my heart. Erika is such a bitch! She would never blame herself, the children are unthankful if they don't appreciate this religious, fully scheduled way of life. In general I wonder how many of kids who grow up in such an environment have a good relationship with their parents.

Hopefully Karen finds out about the Faith Pennington case some day and maybe it encourages her to do the same (I bet Erika would do anything to prevent her kids find out that running away is an option). Since I doubt that Erika is as crazy as Lisa when it comes to birth certificates etc., Karen would have a much more smoother start in a new life. Also Bob's parents don't talk to Erika & Bob anymore as they don't agree with their lifestyle. I bet they'd love to help their granddaughter to get out of this hell she's living in.

[IrishCarrie]

When I think of my life at Karen's age - school, friends, sport, loving parents, crushes and kisses and planning college - it breaks my heart. The kid has no joy in her life whatsoever, has she? And if she shows any signs of noticing that, she'll be God-slapped!!

:hand: :?

[Coco]

When I think of my life at Karen's age - school, friends, sport, loving parents, crushes and kisses and planning college - it breaks my heart. The kid has no joy in her life whatsoever, has she? And if she shows any signs of noticing that, she'll be God-slapped!!

:hand: :?

She's also really great at art, Erika posted sidewalk chalk art the kids drew. They drew stuff like rainbow unicorns and iirc spiderman or something. :lol: It was on her personal FB so i can't post them here, but the kids have talent. They aren't locked down like some fundies, but i bet Erika is hoping Karen gets married off in a year or two. I just can't see her sending her out into the world free.

[Coco]

Welcome! I agree with you that she sounds robotic and crazy. I also think some of this is differences in personality though. I don't have kids yet, but the state of my house is a big deal to me. If I couldn't stay on top of my daily and weekly upkeep, I would be very uncomfortable with that. I'm sure on top of being worried about my baby. But still, I can understand being worried about my house being messy. It's a very real issue that I have. The need for every bed to be made, every surface to be clean and all chores to be done, arose during puberty and has never left. I'd make a great helpmeet! :lol:

it's really not that difficult to keep it clean even with two IF YOU STAY AHEAD of it all. Add in trips or family sickness, holy cow it can take weeks to get back on top of it all. But i'm kind of weird i like to iron the kids nice clothes and organize the toys and stuff that's basically unnecessary. But don't worry it can be done. If you have willpower to stay off FJ

[Coco]

Sounds like she gets her "over population myth" info from the same place as the Duggars. How would doctors benefit from discouraging women to have kids? Why would the perpetuate this "conspiracy"?

Gosh i hate that.

As if doctors would want to limit their client base. :doh:

Now if they put in the caveat: Doctors discourage weirdly religious women who are too overwhelmed to care for their own or their kids' health and needs from having more kids, yeah i can see that.

[danvillebelle]

Making my teenage daughters go to bed at 9pm is such a ridiculous thought I can barely contemplate it. My 17yo daughter often works until 9pm! (But then she is allowed to have a job, awful terrible mother that I am). :shifty-kitty:

My 14yo is a night owl. She is simply wired that way. No matter how hard she tries or how early you rouse her in the morning, she cannot go to sleep before 1 or 2am at the earliest. So, we let her do that. We homeschool so we are able to adapt to what works for her. She stays up late, sleeps in, and does her best studying in the evening after dinner. And before someone throws up "what happens when she has to get up early for a job/college", she'll obviously adapt or find a job with hours that work for her. We allowed our older two to keep their own sleep schedules from the age of 16 or so and it didn't hinder their ability to get up early for their jobs now, they just do it. She actually brought up the other day that she'd love an overnight nanny/babysitting gig for someone who works swing or night shift, which would be the perfect first job for her.

My daughters' lives are so full and rich with fun stuff...friends, sleepovers, shopping, dyeing their hair crazy colors, their fandoms (they are Supernatural/LOTR/Star Wars freaks), planning where they want to travel/road trip with friends when they are 18....FREE KAREN, indeed. If she's not already clinically depressed she's probably well on her way.

[Mandysue]

This is OT but...

Erica's reward system reminded me of the fundie that made her kids but food from her. Who was that?

If Erica hears about that she'll start doing it, more coffee for her and Bob.

I was looking at pictures of Bob he just doesn't look thrilled ever. It's like he is over this whole mess but knows he is stuck.

[SassyPants]

Control is such a big part of cult culture.

It's terrible to see parents limiting their grown offspring because they are afraid to lose that control.

IMO, it's abusive to treat a 17 yo the same way you treat a 5 yo. It's developmentally stunting and certainly does more harm than good, in the long run.

The weird combination of stunting individual growth while you turf your parental responsibilities is even worse, IMO.

[mango_fandango]

She's also really great at art, Erika posted sidewalk chalk art the kids drew. They drew stuff like rainbow unicorns and iirc spiderman or something. :lol: It was on her personal FB so i can't post them here, but the kids have talent. They aren't locked down like some fundies, but i bet Erika is hoping Karen gets married off in a year or two. I just can't see her sending her out into the world free.

I think it's Melanie who's the main artist. Seeing how Melanie's only 13 months younger than Karen, and remembering HER reaction to the pregnancy announcement... Free them. Free them aaaaaaaaaaalllll.

[mango_fandango]

Control is such a big part of cult culture.

It's terrible to see parents limiting their grown offspring because they are afraid to lose that control.

IMO, it's abusive to treat a 17 yo the same way you treat a 5 yo. It's developmentally stunting and certainly does more harm than good, in the long run.

The weird combination of stunting individual growth while you turf your parental responsibilities is even worse, IMO.

Sorry for the double post, but 100% this. On one of her old Facebook albums (from like 2012 or so) there's a lot of comments from her replying to someone whose comments she's deleted. In the replies she talks about how they're not in a cult. "If we ever begin to consider moving to a property with lots of other families that submit to the leadership of a man who claims to be Jesus I will be sure to come back and send you a heartfelt apology." That is surely not the only definition of what a cult is, right? Lots of people claim ATI/IBLP/Bill Gothard is a cult, and as far as I know Gothard hasn't claimed to be Jesus, nor do all ATI families live on one big property together... she's probably just thinking of Jonestown. And I'm sure Moonies don't all live on one huge property together either, and they're widely regarded to be a cult. Scientology has also been labelled a cult by many...

[sense and nonsense]

I remember the first time I read an explanation for skirts only modesty was on her blog.

Something along the lines of 'pants direct the eye to the crotch and thus the poor helpless men are left unable to carry out their normal activities without being attacked by women crotches highlighted by the tight line of sinful jeans along their thighs'

The entire post basically said it's your fault, men can't control themselves anyway. To her credit, she attempted to disguise her disgusting misogyny by claiming the opposite.

If it was the men who were truly blamed, women wouldn't be forced to wear skirts, men would wear eye patches. I love how fundies try to twist their obviously misogynistic spiel into acceptable sounding words. It involves a lot of 'called upon by the Lord' 'biblically adhering to the bible' 'glorifying Jesus in our actions' and other vague nonsense.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Ok I debated sharing this with you guys last year and then never did. Now that I saw this thread I figured you guys might like this little nugget.

Last year we went to the homeschool convention in WA. We were debating it for our kids and just wanted to attend the general information classes. Well I knew about Erica and kept an eye out for her. Never saw her until the last day. I was in a homeschool beginners class (where they shared WAs rules and regulations)

At the end of the presentation the presenter asked if anyone had questions. Erica asked what to do if your oldest child wasnt into it anymore and if there was anything she could do to force her child to like at it. She went on about how much attitude she was getting from the oldest and how it was affecting the younger kids. The presenter looked at her like WTF lady.

I get the feeling everything is not all sunshine and rainbows as she shows on the blog.

*edited for spelling

Awesome, Id love to see a Shupe kid escape. Free Karen.

Karen: Not long until you are 18, just keep on going, then once youre old enough, get the hell out of there. When you turn 18, your parents have no control over you. You are legally old enough to move out, get a job and drive a car. Nobody can force you to go back home, because you are considered an adult in the eyes of the law. There are people out there who will help you.

[16strong]

I'm gone for a week, and this is what I get to come back to? Eurgh!!!! :disgust:

[16strong]

Ok I debated sharing this with you guys last year and then never did. Now that I saw this thread I figured you guys might like this little nugget.

Last year we went to the homeschool convention in WA. We were debating it for our kids and just wanted to attend the general information classes. Well I knew about Erica and kept an eye out for her. Never saw her until the last day. I was in a homeschool beginners class (where they shared WAs rules and regulations)

At the end of the presentation the presenter asked if anyone had questions. Erica asked what to do if your oldest child wasnt into it anymore and if there was anything she could do to force her child to like at it. She went on about how much attitude she was getting from the oldest and how it was affecting the younger kids. The presenter looked at her like WTF lady.

I get the feeling everything is not all sunshine and rainbows as she shows on the blog.

*edited for spelling

Interesting. Erika writes almost nothing on her blog that tells her readers about her kids' personalities. Over the time that I have been reading her blog, I have only gleaned these few tidbits: That Karen is not particularly organized or good at being on time, that Melanie seems to be better/more interested in kids than Karen, and that the oldest boy seems to get lumped in with the younger kids a lot and doesn't really appreciate having to always do activities that are for kids much younger than him. He kind of seems left out without any boys his age to talk to. I agree. Everything is likely not all rainbows in that house.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Interesting. Erika writes almost nothing on her blog that tells her readers about her kids' personalities. Over the time that I have been reading her blog, I have only gleaned these few tidbits: That Karen is not particularly organized or good at being on time, that Melanie seems to be better/more interested in kids than Karen, and that the oldest boy seems to get lumped in with the younger kids a lot and doesn't really appreciate having to always do activities that are for kids much younger than him. He kind of seems left out without any boys his age to talk to. I agree. Everything is likely not all rainbows in that house.

Yeah, I find that interesting. With pretty much every other family, nomatter how fundie, we can tell little things about their personalities. But with Erika's kids, we know nothing of them. Well, pretty much nothing. Karen likes to draw.

With most families, the posts on their blog and stuff will tell us a few personality traits for each kid, whether they have outright said (like on a birthday post, they might mention their personality and interests when writing about what the parents like about them), or just implied through bits of their every day life.

There is nothing about them, they might as well be cardboard cutouts of people that Erika carries around with her. Their room is so sterile, with no hint of personality either. There is nothing that tells us a single thing about every one of those kids, except for basic assumptions like that because fundies love gender roles, the girls probably love playing dolls and wearing dresses, and the boys love cars and pretending to be soldiers...and that they are all Christians.

We don't know which of them are outgoing, and which are shy. We don't know which ones prefer active play, and which prefer to sit and read. We don't know who struggles a lot in school, and who is always gets good grades. We don't know what they like, what they want to be when they grow up, what their favourite school subjects are, what toys they like to play with best. They are just empty spaces, and the kids could be replaced with any other kid in the world, and Erika's blog would be the same because all that they are thought of is the space they take up, the food they eat, and where all of their belongings live.