Erika Shupe Miscarriage

[church_of_dog]

I think someone somewhere asked her about this, but she said she couldn't fit her queen-size bed into that room. And of course she wouldn't ever downsize to a normal double. She already said in a blog post that they use a king-size duvet on the queen bed because with a normal queen-size duvet, she didn't get much coverage. (Which I think may be partly due to Bob.)

So then downsizing to a double means even more abundant blanketage -- certainly not an argument against downsizing :lol:

I can't snark on the blanket thing -- I've done that myself, using queen-size covers on a double-size bed so that everyone can have plenty. Heck, we even tried laying two blankets sideways, one covering the upper half of the bed, one covering the lower half, with about a 3-foot overlap in the middle. That actually worked pretty well, believe it or not.

Relationships might require many compromises, but don't get between humans and their need to snurkle up with their covers around their neck at beddy-bye time! :lol:

[usmcmom]

Was that Lisa Pennington?

My stomach did a little flip flop when I read "Mom Bucks," because I used a version of those when my kids were little...but GOOD LORD, not to earn meals. *mad face.*

We actually had "Mommy Dollars" and they were my answer to constant requests at the grocery store:

"Mommy can we get....?"

"OOOh, how 'bout some....?"

"Pleeeeeease MOMMEEEEE-uh!"

They each got two mommy dollars on my big grocery trips to choose those little extras - a box of fruit snacks, a sugary cereal, an extra box of snack cakes. I'd say "If you want that, you need to hand me a Mommy Dollar." Completely fake money, by the way.

It kind of taught them budgeting and making careful choices. It completely eliminated grocery story begging and I didn't spend my time pushing a cart saying "No. Not today. No. NOOOOOO-uh!"

Is there actually someone out there that makes their children earn meals? :angry-banghead: :angry-banghead:

Now I kind of even feel bad for my little grocery store trick. :?

Edited for typo

[Seven Severn]

snip Relationships might require many compromises, but don't get between humans and their need to snurkle up with their covers around their neck at beddy-bye time! :lol:

I love this word and will be using it at every available opportunity. FYI. :dance:

[NoneandDoneinCali]

You know, something I 100% do not understand about Erica (and other blanket-training fundies) is how they seem to take enjoyment in denying their children simple pleasures. I am not a parent, and have no ideological dogma that pressures me to become one (really not my bag), but I am a very devoted Auntie, and I am delighted when my nieces and nephew are delighted. I enjoy making them happy and teaching them things, like deeply enjoy it and look forward to it. I LOVE those kids, and my friends' kids as well, and I want to make them feel safe and loved. I want to listen to them and play with them and have little toys in my purse if they get antsy when we're out. This is not to say that I spoil them - Auntie is perfectly capable of denying treats and enforcing time outs. But I can't imagine telling them "no" merely because I'm the boss, or am trying to modify their behavior until they behave like robots. None of my friends with children are like this, and, even though my brother was initially a reluctant father, he doesn't deny the kids on a whim either. If anything, letting the kids read their books or play together in the yard gives him a little time to read, or clean, or whatever.

So, while I understand the pressure to procreate even when you're unwilling, and how one might resent their children, I just do not get how you can look at this little person YOU created, who is wholly dependent on you, and be like "no, you may not play outside, you may not make friends, you may not have food that tastes good ever, you may not have a hobby, NO NO NO NO NO" merely because YOU don't want to deal with their behavior. I hate changing diapers, but I do it, even if I retch, because I am not letting someone I care about sit in shit. Maybe I want the baby to sleep, but I feed it, because it's a baby and I can't bear to let it go hungry. It just seems ... unnatural ... not to try your best to care for your kids.

[VodouDoll]

I also don't understand the motivation behind arbitrarily telling your kids no. We tell our three year old no sometimes: when she wants to do something bad for her, llke eat five bananas or let go of our hands in the parking lot or climb the bookshelf. We make her say please and thank you and excuse me and I'm sorry, ensure she's safe and healthy, and then mostly just let her be a kid and explore and try new things. She's very polite and well behaved. I can't imagine telling her no just because, instead of for a real reason. Is it a weird power play?

[FundieliciousTaterTot]

I read once that people with narcissistic personality disorders can do/withhold things from children in a neglectful way. Psychologically it can be because they feel they are more important so the child should wait or because they do not see beyond their own self and thus cannot see others' needs.

Wish I had a source it is a very sick but interesting topic from a psychological standpoint.

[Koala]

I don't understand why they don't give the girls the master bedroom. We had three kids sharing a room for longer than I would have liked but at least they got the biggest bedroom, and the boys still have it - Partner and I are fine in the smaller room, we don't need the space to play and store toys, books etc that the kids do, we have the rest of the house.

I agree. The largest bedroom should go to the largest number of people sharing a bedroom. It's utterly selfish for her and her husband to create such a lovely space for themselves (not my style, but she obviously loves it) while leaving her children in such a cramped space.

I also have a real objection to sticking your baby in a closet, walk in or otherwise. That's just wrong....

And while we're on things I seriously object to- Her making Karen get up at all hours of the night with her to care for the twins was ludicrous. Kids NEED their sleep, and they were never meant to have to get up and attend to newborn feedings. Bob should have been doing that, and the fact that he allowed his daughter to do it in his place speaks volumes about the shits he doesn't give. My husband would have a cow if I suggested waking my children up every few hours to care for a baby that wasn't theirs.

[Eternalbluepearl]

I agree. The largest bedroom should go to the largest number of people sharing a bedroom. It's utterly selfish for her and her husband to create such a lovely space for themselves (not my style, but she obviously loves it) while leaving her children in such a cramped space.

I also have a real objection to sticking your baby in a closet, walk in or otherwise. That's just wrong....

And while we're on things I seriously object to- Her making Karen get up at all hours of the night with her to care for the twins was ludicrous. Kids NEED their sleep, and they were never meant to have to get up and attend to newborn feedings. Bob should have been doing that, and the fact that he allowed his daughter to do it in his place speaks volumes about the shits he doesn't give. My husband would have a cow if I suggested waking my children up every few hours to care for a baby that wasn't theirs.

Oh my gosh! This is so true! Why doesn't Bob get up and help? If it's too much, then stop having kids! :pull-hair:

Erika would have Karen get up at 3 am with the twins, and then she was generously allowed to sleep for 30 more minutes in the morning. She LOVED it! *cheer* *smile* *squeeze hugs*

Side note: Has anyone read somewhere on the blog where Erika details out how much sleep each member of the family gets and that she adheres to that strict schedule except for someone being ill? I can't snark on the amounts or anything like that, because I have no clue about that, it's just the strictness and over-schedule-ness of it all. (Which isn't a word.) It creeps me out.

[Koala]

My problem with the bedtime routine (and it's a big problem) is that in the process of "pouring herself out for Jesus and others" Erika always seems to come out on top.

She and Bob not only have a special room while everyone else packs in like sardines, they also get special alone time by putting ALL the kids (even the teenagers) to bed at the same time. Now Karen is old enough to supervise over half a dozen kids while Erika and Bob have their weekly night out and old enough to be up all night with a newborn, but she has to be in bed at the same time as her toddler sisters because it's ALL about Erika and Bob.

That is just so selfish. They can't recognize their kids as individuals, because it would be inconvenient for THEM!

Teenagers with a sticker chart. Teenagers getting paid in one jelly bean (no picking flavors). It's just all so very wrong. I hope they leave Erika the min. they turn 18

[uber frau]

You know, something I 100% do not understand about Erica (and other blanket-training fundies) is how they seem to take enjoyment in denying their children simple pleasures. I am not a parent, and have no ideological dogma that pressures me to become one (really not my bag), but I am a very devoted Auntie, and I am delighted when my nieces and nephew are delighted. I enjoy making them happy and teaching them things, like deeply enjoy it and look forward to it. I LOVE those kids, and my friends' kids as well, and I want to make them feel safe and loved. I want to listen to them and play with them and have little toys in my purse if they get antsy when we're out. This is not to say that I spoil them - Auntie is perfectly capable of denying treats and enforcing time outs. But I can't imagine telling them "no" merely because I'm the boss, or am trying to modify their behavior until they behave like robots. None of my friends with children are like this, and, even though my brother was initially a reluctant father, he doesn't deny the kids on a whim either. If anything, letting the kids read their books or play together in the yard gives him a little time to read, or clean, or whatever.

So, while I understand the pressure to procreate even when you're unwilling, and how one might resent their children, I just do not get how you can look at this little person YOU created, who is wholly dependent on you, and be like "no, you may not play outside, you may not make friends, you may not have food that tastes good ever, you may not have a hobby, NO NO NO NO NO" merely because YOU don't want to deal with their behavior. I hate changing diapers, but I do it, even if I retch, because I am not letting someone I care about sit in shit. Maybe I want the baby to sleep, but I feed it, because it's a baby and I can't bear to let it go hungry. It just seems ... unnatural ... not to try your best to care for your kids.

Well, here's your main problem. You're spending time with those kids because you enjoy their company and that, and the fact that you want what's best for them, is your prime motivation for choosing to be around them. Erika and her ilk have a completely different motivation; they get off on being in control. It makes them feel powerful to have a quiverfull of minions who will ask "how high?' when they're told to jump. They can justify it with all sorts of bogus reasons about wanting their children to grow up to be godly, or about their level of control being necessary to run such a large household, but in the end it's simply about them getting off on control.

[Eternalbluepearl]

My problem with the bedtime routine (and it's a big problem) is that in the process of "pouring herself out for Jesus and others" Erika always seems to come out on top.

She and Bob not only have a special room while everyone else packs in like sardines, they also get special alone time by putting ALL the kids (even the teenagers) to bed at the same time. Now Karen is old enough to supervise over half a dozen kids while Erika and Bob have their weekly night out and old enough to be up all night with a newborn, but she has to be in bed at the same time as her toddler sisters because it's ALL about Erika and Bob.

That is just so selfish. They can't recognize their kids as individuals, because it would be inconvenient for THEM!

Teenagers with a sticker chart. Teenagers getting paid in one jelly bean (no picking flavors). It's just all so very wrong. I hope they leave Erika the min. they turn 18

Teenagers need their rest if they're going to be up early parenting their siblings and blessing their expectant mother with breakfast, dont ya know. :naughty:

[ILoveJellybeans]

Poor Karen is treated like a toddler. Points (with a tiny amount of candy as prizes) and sticker charts? Those are baby things. She goes to bed at the same time as her 4 year old sisters.

And yet, despite this baby treatment, she is expected to get up in the night to help feed baby siblings instead of her dad, babysit the kids (for a couple of jellybeans) and spends her days doing chores instead of school work (the older kids do such little school work I am surprised they learn...although they probably don't).

Its like being 30 and 3 at the same time. All of the responsibility, but none of the privileges.

[mango_fandango]

Well guys, Erika's put up the new summer schedule. Brandon and Anna Marie are scheduled to do math at SIX AM. I don't even get up at six am, but if I had to, I would not be awake enough to do math.

Erika is a sadist.

[Sundaymorning]

Poor Karen is treated like a toddler. Points (with a tiny amount of candy as prizes) and sticker charts? Those are baby things. She goes to bed at the same time as her 4 year old sisters.

And yet, despite this baby treatment, she is expected to get up in the night to help feed baby siblings instead of her dad, babysit the kids (for a couple of jellybeans) and spends her days doing chores instead of school work (the older kids do such little school work I am surprised they learn...although they probably don't).

Its like being 30 and 3 at the same time. All of the responsibility, but none of the privileges.

Very true. And the reality of so many fundie children (especially daughters). It truly sucks.

I hope those poor girls get out of this house as fast as possible!

I don't know if this has been discussed before about this family, but on an Anderson tread, we once talked about state regulations which limit the maximal number of people who can live in a certain living space. Does this familys house fit the requirements (if there are any)?

[ILoveJellybeans]

Six in the fucking morning? No wonder poor Brandon is so tiny, he needs sleep to grow.

Why do they need so much scheduling when they aren't even at school right now...I presume so anyway, cause they have like half an hour of school work.

They also have no free time:

Karen-2 hours

Melanie-2 and a half hours

Brandon-one hour

Anna Marie-one hour

The rest have no time when they are actually allowed to choose what and where they play.

That is disgusting.

Also why the fuck does Erika have to tell them what to do. Play a game, drawing, non fiction reading, bikes or blades outside, paint/craft. They are also told what rooms they are allowed to play in at what time.

Melanie apparently likes drawing, so she has to have a scheduled time to do it, instead of picking up a pencil and some paper whenever she wants.

Also the only ones allowed to ride their bikes or rollerblade are the 12 and 8 year old boys, but Anna Marie, in the middle of them is not allowed to, instead she gets to paint/craft in her portion of that hour when she is not supervising her four year old sisters. That's so sexist. Girls like riding bikes too.

[danvillebelle]

That is fucking disgusting. If there were any doubt that Erika was a sadist, this clenches it for sure. Who the fuck gets their children up to do MATH at SIX AM in the SUMMERTIME? :wtf:

Where are the carefree, uninterrupted hours of summer? Where is running in the sprinkler, eating watermelon on the back porch, blowing bubbles, reading your favorite book under a shady tree? How are you supposed to catch lightning bugs in a jar if you have to go to bed before they come out??? :pull-hair:

I don't see Erika doing much of anything on that schedule except reading to her kids (not nearly enough) and "facilitating", which is probably code for standing over them with that sick maniacal grin on her face, making sure they keep the schedule down to the second.

She didn't have children to share her life, love them and raise productive human beings - she had children to have a mini-army that she could control and have do all the work. She should have skipped marriage and family and went into the army, she'd have made a hell of a drill sergeant.

[Koala]

That is fucking disgusting. If there were any doubt that Erika was a sadist, this clenches it for sure. Who the fuck gets their children up to do MATH at SIX AM in the SUMMERTIME? :wtf:

Where are the carefree, uninterrupted hours of summer? Where is running in the sprinkler, eating watermelon on the back porch, blowing bubbles, reading your favorite book under a shady tree? How are you supposed to catch lightning bugs in a jar if you have to go to bed before they come out??? :pull-hair:

I don't see Erika doing much of anything on that schedule except reading to her kids (not nearly enough) and "facilitating", which is probably code for standing over them with that sick maniacal grin on her face, making sure they keep the schedule down to the second.

She didn't have children to share her life, love them and raise productive human beings - she had children to have a mini-army that she could control and have do all the work. She should have skipped marriage and family and went into the army, she'd have made a hell of a drill sergeant.

Thank you. We are in full summer mode here. I spent $4 on water toys, $2 on bubbles, $6 on a frozen stuffed crust pizza and my kids have considered this a banner day. I expect the toys will keep them busy with "water wars" for the rest of the week. Add in the trampoline, a couple of cheap jump ropes that I bought back at Easter, and some time on the X-Box and they are very happy campers at the moment.

They are only going to be little once.

[Eternalbluepearl]

That is fucking disgusting. If there were any doubt that Erika was a sadist, this clenches it for sure. Who the fuck gets their children up to do MATH at SIX AM in the SUMMERTIME? :wtf:

Where are the carefree, uninterrupted hours of summer? Where is running in the sprinkler, eating watermelon on the back porch, blowing bubbles, reading your favorite book under a shady tree? How are you supposed to catch lightning bugs in a jar if you have to go to bed before they come out??? :pull-hair:

I don't see Erika doing much of anything on that schedule except reading to her kids (not nearly enough) and "facilitating", which is probably code for standing over them with that sick maniacal grin on her face, making sure they keep the schedule down to the second.

She didn't have children to share her life, love them and raise productive human beings - she had children to have a mini-army that she could control and have do all the work. She should have skipped marriage and family and went into the army, she'd have made a hell of a drill sergeant.

You are so right. :dance:

[ILoveJellybeans]

Erika needs some weed. Her kids would thank the dealer for it. Bake her some nice pot brownies and she would loosen up and stop being such a cold hearted sadistic fun hating bitch.

[apandaaries]

Again with this woman?! Six am math in the summer?

I always figure she HAS to have finally hit her low point, but she keeps on surprising me.

I think she should either give up the family and live as the drill sergeant she was born to be, or get into pot brownies and never give them up. That woman needs to unwind before she seriously damages her kids any further.

[Rear Window]

Those poor kids. I'm not sure who has it worse...the older girls or the maxwells.

[fundiefun]

Now that I think of it Erika is the one of the coldest fundie moms that I have ever come across. At least Zsu as hateful as she may be seems to generally love and enjoys spending time with her children, Erika on the other hand seems like she could care less if she ever interacted with her kids again since Karen and Melanie will do all the work for her while she sits around and dictates and barks orders. The poor kids can't even enjoy a normal childhood filled with memories of fun and playing. I thought Steve Maxwell was bad about not fun, but Erica takes it to a whole other level.

[19 cats and counting]

Erika needs some weed. Her kids would thank the dealer for it. Bake her some nice pot brownies and she would loosen up and stop being such a cold hearted sadistic fun hating bitch.

But brownies have *gasp* sugar in them *evil*. Better yet to put the weed in a green smoothie *healthy*

(And I just about vomited while writing like her).

[mango_fandango]

But brownies have *gasp* sugar in them *evil*. Better yet to put the weed in a green smoothie *healthy*

(And I just about vomited while writing like her).

She can always use the wonderful stevia. But yes to the hash/pot brownies.

[Naga Viper]

Yeah, the Maxwells probably have it better on the whole; both families are off the rails with the control issues, but Erika seems more overtly sadistic than Steve. Also, adults can function on less sleep than kids (or at least don't have development issues to consider), plus two animal crackers > one random jellybean. I mean, I don't know if it's ever been established whether Steve doles out the crackers personally or if family members get to choose between the lion crackers and the tiger crackers, but they all taste the same anyway.