Alice Pregnancy Addict (alicesbaby)

[ExCatholic]

http://sheepdip.diaryland.com/tearfulGod.html

I found a small snippet where she talks about obsessing over the woman on TV, I know she but its so hard to find anything in this journal!

what else... She was super jealous of her brother for a long time, he is 4 years younger and she always felt he was the favorite. She was in therapy from the age of 14 until basically she got pregnant.she really got into religion when she was contemplating killing herself. She tried to check herself into a mental hospital and they turned her away! I don't know how the British system works, but that seems awful. She put her hands in her pockets and found a flyer or a number that a woman from church had given her, and called that.

[ExCatholic]

oh, and she had an ice skating journal at one point! It is sadly gone. Sorry for the multiple posts, I'm just writing things as I remember them.

[Ofglen]

what other juicy bits can I share... She has an unhealthy fixation on her parents, when they decide to move to France she basically has a mental breakdown. In high school she had a best girlfriend who she was obsessed with, I think at one point she describes her as her first crush. When this friend starts making other friends in college alice is absolutely crushed. Like can't get over it, writes a bunch about how they used to have sleepovers and how wonderful it was.

she also, depressingly, writes about being molested. I believe at age 9? She doesn't go into a lot of detail, so I'm not sure what it entails. She also says she was molested at 14 when her boyfriend forced her to kiss him. now, I am NOT going to say that she was not molested at 9, because I would never question someone saying that. It is horrible. Even an unwanted kiss at that age is assault. But knowing that she says a kiss at 14 is molestation makes me wonder what exactly happened at 9.

If she identifies her own experiences as molestations, that's what they are. The end.

[ExCatholic]

If she identifies her own experiences as molestations, that's what they are. The end.

No, you're right of course. I was struggling with how to word that and not sound like an asshole. I was trying to say something about how she overdramatizes and overanalyzes everything until the actual truth is obscured, but this was a bad bad example. Apologies if I offended anyone :(

[ladyaudley]

her bit about how her husband reacted to her telling him she's now at five weeks was super-weird. He's just joking because he's probably sick of hearing about every single twinge of her body and she says " kind of hoped he'd rejoice with me that I had reached 5 weeks, but he came back with a negative. If I miscarry, he will know about it. I will likely bleed very heavily for days, cramp up like nothing else, and need to rest a LOT."

The bolded to me sounds almost like a threat. Like she'll make him pay if she miscarries.

[anjulibai]

I don't get why someone would put up with that behavior in their spouse. He's either in denial, or got serious problems himself.

[Ofglen]

her bit about how her husband reacted to her telling him she's now at five weeks was super-weird. He's just joking because he's probably sick of hearing about every single twinge of her body and she says " kind of hoped he'd rejoice with me that I had reached 5 weeks, but he came back with a negative. If I miscarry, he will know about it. I will likely bleed very heavily for days, cramp up like nothing else, and need to rest a LOT."

The bolded to me sounds almost like a threat. Like she'll make him pay if she miscarries.

Huh. I didn't read it as a threat at all. I don't know much about miscarriage but I just read it as her understanding that her miscarriage would be significant enough (i think) that her husband would be very aware of the situation, especially with how much Alice talks about it.

But I literally just started reading this lady's stuff, so. :shrug:

edited for clarification

[ExCatholic]

I don't get why someone would put up with that behavior in their spouse. He's either in denial, or got serious problems himself.

Neil always struck me as fairly depressed himself. I think his family life might not have been the best, but its hard to tell because everything is filtered through Alice. I know his dad was very sick and his mom was of poor health as well - I remember a picture at the park where she was in was of those scooter things. He's very, very passive - when they fought (rarely) Alice would be absolutely flabbergasted. He brought up divorce once before she got pregnant, she refused to entertain the idea so he dropped it. He seems like the epitome of the guy who will do anything to avoid an argument.

[DaffyDill]

I don't think I can keep reading her old diary. She is oh-so, so obsessive. She drives me a little batty - and I feel badly for Neil, although why he doesn't ever say anything about anything is beyond me - though I suppose he might, which is when she says they fight. Or maybe Alice is so consumed with herself she doesn't really hear him.

She read some books on God healing people, and therefore decided she wasn't going to be ill anymore. So that seems to be it. She started getting up, bathed, dressed etc, doing washing and generally getting better.

Alice is a strange one.

[TeaNCrackers]

OMG that woman is a nut job. My eyes bleed from reading that blog.

[Miggy]

Can someone fill me in on why she doesn't want to tell the grandparents? What happened last time? I'm imagining just a "don't you have enough already" comment that sent her off the edge.

[ExCatholic]

Can someone fill me in on why she doesn't want to tell the grandparents? What happened last time? I'm imagining just a "don't you have enough already" comment that sent her off the edge.

They are not enablers, basically

http://alicesbaby.blogspot.com/2010/04/ ... h.html?m=1

[Closed Womb]

I'm at the point in her diaryland journal (sheepdip, not pregnancy) that Alice quit work. She was just too torn up over Cameron's death (again, not her child, not a relative, just someone she WISHED was her kid after she got over-attached to when she cared for him in a professional sense) and couldn't work any more. But then other things give her away -- like pretending to be "too busy" to answer the phones when she just didn't want to speak to people. I'm thinking laziness > grief, in this case.

I was always kind of interested in what made this woman tick. I'm starting to thing it's just plain selfishness and a need for attention. I was hoping it was so much more than that. She's very unlikeable, which I didn't realize from her pregnancy obsession. :cry:

I don't trust her version of any event. Ever.

They are not enablers, basically

alicesbaby.blogspot.com/2010/04/7-weeks-2-days-bleurrrrgh.html?m=1

And that's their comment from one of her sons (#5, I think); I wonder what they said about her 7th pregnancy (Lydia)?

I just re-read that entry (whaaaaa, she's not getting as much attention for her 5th baby as she was her 1st, whaaaaa) and there was some question about Neil not being able to prove his income. I am starting to wonder about their finances. Back in 2003, she quit working because it was too hard when dealing with grief, before that she had ME/CFS and stayed home for 2 years, so she's not been much of a contributor to the family finances (which is their call to make, of course, just noting that it's all on Neil and, at least for a time, his income wasn't even provable.) Her parents seem to be very stable, so maybe they contribute? I also don't know what kind of subsidies (housing, etc) they would be eligible for, since I'm not familiar with the UK system. Apparently, they have a nice place now, but Neil's commute is something like 2 hours and he takes a nap once he gets to work.

Being a recent (young-ish -- in my 40's) widow, I've lately been wondering what these women's plans are if the breadwinner (and general man-servant, in Neil's case) passes from this life way too soon.

[Seren Ann]

Oh my goodness. I know you guys said she overanalysed everything, but I didn't realize how bad it is until I read the first page of the blog. That's... on another level of crazy altogether. Life must be very complicated for her if everything elicits such agonising doubts and worries and scrutiny. Also, she sounds extremely self absorbed... Everything is about her and how she feels and how her husband's reaction made her feel... She sounds exhausting to be around. There must be some kind of mental illness.

I really wonder how she finds the time to type out every one of her musings every day with 7 children to raise ???

It's always interesting to hear of british fundies to me because it's so much closer to home, it feels very strange that such people exist here too.

I think I'm hooked ! Thank you for all the background information :) If anyone has any highlights of the crazy you dig out, please keep sharing, I don't have the time to read through such an astonishing volume of posts but I am fascinated in a trainwreck kind of way.

[ExCatholic]

Oh my goodness. I know you guys said she overanalysed everything, but I didn't realize how bad it is until I read the first page of the blog. That's... on another level of crazy altogether. Life must be very complicated for her if everything elicits such agonising doubts and worries and scrutiny. Also, she sounds extremely self absorbed... Everything is about her and how she feels and how her husband's reaction made her feel... She sounds exhausting to be around. There must be some kind of mental illness.

I really wonder how she finds the time to type out every one of her musings every day with 7 children to raise ???

It's always interesting to hear of british fundies to me because it's so much closer to home, it feels very strange that such people exist here too.

I think I'm hooked ! Thank you for all the background information :) If anyone has any highlights of the crazy you dig out, please keep sharing, I don't have the time to read through such an astonishing volume of posts but I am fascinated in a trainwreck kind of way.

One highlight is that CPS investigated them. She was furious and didn't talk much about it, which clearly is unusual for them. She has occasionally had bursts of proper homeschooling, with workbooks and everything, but things always grind to a halt after a new baby arrives.

She talks a good game about homeschooling being the best option, but in Arthur's early days she spent a lot of time talking about how awful kid germs were. She has a phobia of vomiting, so any kind of cold is terrifying to her. She used to go to mom groups so Arthur could play, but he would get sick which made her crazy. My theory is she passed on school because of all the icky germs the kids would get. She prefers to live in a sanitary bubble as much as possible.

One incident that really struck me was when Arthur was young, and they were at a play group. He hurt himself and was crying, so she went to help him. She wrote about how pleasurable it was to finally be "the mom" in a sea of other moms, "the mom" that the crying kid needed. That struck me as so self absorbed. It wasn't oh poor baby, he was hurt, I felt so bad for him. It was, finally, my moment in the spotlight as mom. Just odd to me, more so now that I have a kid of my own. He got hurt yesterday and I was in tears over it. I wasn't strutting around the ER thinking ohhhh today I'm THE MOM who has the hurt kid.

[ExCatholic]

Oh, and one time when Arthur was very young she got upset with him and twisted him arm so much he cried. She called Neil crying to tell him she'd hurt Arthur. She never wrote about hurting one of the kids again, so I hope hope hope that was the end of it, but with seven kids in a house I'm sure she's stressed a lot. I know they did give up spanking once they had a few boys, so that was encouraging.

[Seren Ann]

Wow, there are so many layers of crazy to this :shock: I would hate to be one of the children... Their life sounds boring and isolated, and with no schooling they might really struggle later on. Plus can you imagine being raised by someone so psychotic ? They are going to need therapy :/

I thought it was so strange how Arthur knew enough about pregnancy tests to guess she was pregnant when he saw a photo on the computer from outside the room. Is it normal for a 10 year old to know exactly how to read a pregnancy test ? It makes me uncomfortable somehow, though that may just be my own bias.

I was hoping there was no physical abuse, so that's somewhat encouraging.

One incident that really struck me was when Arthur was young, and they were at a play group. He hurt himself and was crying, so she went to help him. She wrote about how pleasurable it was to finally be "the mom" in a sea of other moms, "the mom" that the crying kid needed. That struck me as so self absorbed. It wasn't oh poor baby, he was hurt, I felt so bad for him. It was, finally, my moment in the spotlight as mom. Just odd to me, more so now that I have a kid of my own. He got hurt yesterday and I was in tears over it. I wasn't strutting around the ER thinking ohhhh today I'm THE MOM who has the hurt kid.

That ties in with the whole Cameron obsession. Maybe she was jealous of his mom being that person to him or something ?

She hasn't posted on her pregnancy blog in what seems to be a long time compared to how often she posted for the last 2 weeks. Trouble in paradise ? Or does the crazy get toned down a bit once she knows the pregnancy is viable ?

[ExCatholic]

http://sheepdip.diaryland.com/older1.html

Hope this works - should be a link to the entries that comprise her life story. Let me know if the link doesn't work on your ends.

Ah, the things I obsess over while baby boy naps in his carrier. He's scared of the bed now, so I've been doing a lot of pacing around the house wearing him through naps.

Make sure you click on the Jan-Nov 2001 link. The Obsessions entry is particularly interesting, but they're all pretty illuminating.

[dairyfreelife]

One highlight is that CPS investigated them. She was furious and didn't talk much about it, which clearly is unusual for them. She has occasionally had bursts of proper homeschooling, with workbooks and everything, but things always grind to a halt after a new baby arrives.

She talks a good game about homeschooling being the best option, but in Arthur's early days she spent a lot of time talking about how awful kid germs were. She has a phobia of vomiting, so any kind of cold is terrifying to her. She used to go to mom groups so Arthur could play, but he would get sick which made her crazy. My theory is she passed on school because of all the icky germs the kids would get. She prefers to live in a sanitary bubble as much as possible.

One incident that really struck me was when Arthur was young, and they were at a play group. He hurt himself and was crying, so she went to help him. She wrote about how pleasurable it was to finally be "the mom" in a sea of other moms, "the mom" that the crying kid needed. That struck me as so self absorbed. It wasn't oh poor baby, he was hurt, I felt so bad for him. It was, finally, my moment in the spotlight as mom. Just odd to me, more so now that I have a kid of my own. He got hurt yesterday and I was in tears over it. I wasn't strutting around the ER thinking ohhhh today I'm THE MOM who has the hurt kid.

To the bolded, does she say she has emetophobia (fear of vomit/vomiting)? Or is it more of a fear of any and all germs? Also, wasn't she a nurse? I mean, it does happen, but most people with a fear phobia of vomit/vomiting tend to avoid hospitals cause sick people and surgery and illnesses that may cause vomiting. Hating something is not the same thing as genuinely fearing it. Ask me how I know. :embarrassed:

[ExCatholic]

To the bolded, does she say she has emetophobia (fear of vomit/vomiting)? Or is it more of a fear of any and all germs? Also, wasn't she a nurse? I mean, it does happen, but most people with a fear phobia of vomit/vomiting tend to avoid hospitals cause sick people and surgery and illnesses that may cause vomiting. Hating something is not the same thing as genuinely fearing it. Ask me how I know. :embarrassed:

She never uses that word, but does describe it as a phobia. She had an episode at age two where she vomited uncontrollably and she was scared to possibly do it again after that. Her parents sent her to a therapist who made her watch videos of other people throwing up (confrontation therapy I think? Probably not the best bet for Alice...). She eventually worked through that issue a lite bit when her sons started to be sick as kids - she said that having no choice but to take care of them pushed her to deal with it. Still a fear of hers though.

She hates germs and hates the thought of being sick. The dissonance between that and training to be a nurse is ironic. To be fair, she only did the nurse training with an eye towards becoming a midwife. Her daydreams of midwifery were a bit idyllic and involved lots of the miracle of life and very little of dangerous labors and germs. I think she maybe thought she wouldn't have any sick patients at all as a midwife?

[dairyfreelife]

She never uses that word, but does describe it as a phobia. She had an episode at age two where she vomited uncontrollably and she was scared to possibly do it again after that. Her parents sent her to a therapist who made her watch videos of other people throwing up (confrontation therapy I think? Probably not the best bet for Alice...). She eventually worked through that issue a lite bit when her sons started to be sick as kids - she said that having no choice but to take care of them pushed her to deal with it. Still a fear of hers though.

She hates germs and hates the thought of being sick. The dissonance between that and training to be a nurse is ironic. To be fair, she only did the nurse training with an eye towards becoming a midwife. Her daydreams of midwifery were a bit idyllic and involved lots of the miracle of life and very little of dangerous labors and germs. I think she maybe thought she wouldn't have any sick patients at all as a midwife?

It can be hard to tell with Alice what is real or what is over dramatized. If she has a real phobia of vomit or vomiting then I feel for her. A real phobia of anything can be awful and a phobia of vomit or vomiting can lead to serious avoidance behaviors and to the point where people are terrified to even leave their homes. Never eat out and some refuse to eat anything they did not make themselves (fear of food poisoning), rarely traveling and other avoidance actions. Not sure about nurse training in the UK, but in the US an RN has to go through many clinical phases and they vary and seeing someone sick isn't unusual (sister is one).

And exposure therapy, yes, that was a major push when I was a child as well. Now they tend to do CBT (cognitive behavior therapy) with exposure when working to help people move past a phobia. I think Alice has some mental illness relating to anxiety and depression and seems she isn't doing much now to work through them. I would not be surprised at all if she had OCD because she seems very obsessive about things and many of her behaviors come across as compulsions to me. None of those are bad, but they are unhealthy for her and her children. Really wish she would get seek some real help. Therapy isn't evil.

[FoxyMoxie]

She comes across as having a serious anxiety disorder, and possibly closeted as well. I feel sorry for her but even more sorry for her husband and kids.

[Miggy]

Still no posts since Thursday. Does anyone think she list the baby?

[ExCatholic]

Still no posts since Thursday. Does anyone think she list the baby?

She JUST updated :)

I agree with an anxiety disorder - she's had at least one doctor tell her the physical ailments were all in her head. If only she'd consider therapy and medication, I think it would make a difference. Poor kids. Poor Neil.

[JMO]

I haven't checked her blog since last week and I'm kind of afraid. All the pee sticks traumatized me. :D