Bringing Up Bates & Bates Family Doings: Part 2

[halcionne]

instagram.com/p/1rkg_nlUCW/?taken-by=chad_erinpaine

I pressed play and immediately had to close it. It's waaay too early here for that.

[formergothardite]

I pressed play and immediately had to close it. It's waaay too early here for that.

I'm not sure there is any point during the day where I could listen to that. :?

[JillyO]

I'm not sure there is any point during the day where I could listen to that. :?

I think this needs a warning. I had my laptop on maximum volume. Now I may or may not be deaf.

[halcionne]

Erin belly photo shoot on Chad's blog.

chadsperspective.blogspot.com/2015/04/maternity-shoot.html

[LovelyLuna]

I'm not sure, I think around 16.

Thats fucked up.

[englandgirl24]

I have a feeling since she has reconnected with her birth family that she doesn't want to upset her bio parents by involving the adoptive ones. And now I think she has fully embraced the Bates lifestyle/fame bandwagon.

How do you know she's reconnected with her birth family?

[JillyO]

How do you know she's reconnected with her birth family?

It was her adoptive father who walked her down the aisle (and I don't think her bio parents were even at the wedding, but don't quote me on that). However, after she had Bradley, her bio parents came to visit her in the hospital and we saw a picture of her with her bio dad.

[Alexa]

Erin belly photo shoot on Chad's blog.

chadsperspective.blogspot.com/2015/04/maternity-shoot.html

I think Erin is really writing the blog herself. Not many men call their wives adorable and talk about her A.D.O.R.A.B.L.E. baby bump. Very interesting if Chad really is writing the blog himself.

[Justme]

Thats fucked up.

I think a bit younger. Around middle school age.

[ViolaSebastian]

I think this needs a warning. I had my laptop on maximum volume. Now I may or may not be deaf.

Phew, I thought you guys were exaggerating. You were not.

[halcionne]

I think Erin is really writing the blog herself. Not many men call their wives adorable and talk about her A.D.O.R.A.B.L.E. baby bump. Very interesting if Chad really is writing the blog himself.

I don't know, Chad blog was pretty...sensitive before Erin came on board, iirc. I'm not really snarking, but I've asked before why David pings and Chad doesn't. They both come across as decidedly unmasculine to me, YMMV. Which isn't an accurate way to try and guess someone's orientation, of course.

[MissBitters]

I've only read a little of David's posts so I could be wrong, but I think the difference between David and Chad is that Chad doesn't act like he's trying to prove his masculinity. He seems very comfortable with himself.

[HermioneSparrow]

I've only read a little of David's posts so I could be wrong, but I think the difference between David and Chad is that Chad doesn't act like he's trying to prove his masculinity. He seems very comfortable with himself.

People who are comfortable and secure of themselves and their sexuality, can show their sensitive, feminine or masculine sides without hesitations... That reminds me of the episode on Friends when Phoebe's boyfriend uses her panties and Joey freaks out and she tells him her boyfriend is very comfortable with his masculinity and she thought Joey would never do that. Also, I have a female coworker who's always saying she finds women gross and she likes way too much a dick, funny thing is that she never uses anything feminine and she thought at first that me probably the most feminine girl you could ever find, that I was gay because I used to hangout with an ex coworker who's gay and I said Marion Cotillard is totally hot and I would do her haha, I didn't cared I'm very comfortable with my sexuality aaaand I totaaaaally think she's closeted!

[Firiel]

Have I mentioned that I want a Chad Paine?

Oh, I have? Several times?

*le sigh*

[Aurora rising]

I think Erin is really writing the blog herself. Not many men call their wives adorable and talk about her A.D.O.R.A.B.L.E. baby bump. Very interesting if Chad really is writing the blog himself.

My husband tells everybody how pretty and adorable and intelligent and fascinating and... you knows what else I am in his eyes. So yeah, some men tend to do this.

And the last picture cracks me up, it´s super-cute!

[Pretzel]

My husband tells everybody how pretty and adorable and intelligent and fascinating and... you knows what else I am in his eyes. So yeah, some men tend to do this.

And the last picture cracks me up, it´s super-cute!

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

From my own experience, I can report that men actually DO say stuff like that. I wanted to say that it has a lot to do with the comfort level people have with themselves and in my experience, men who allow themselves to be thoughtful, gentle and sensitive have way less issues with themselves and their choices than men who have to prove they're oh-so-manly. Someone beat me to it, though so I second it.

Chad has NEVER pinged me. There's a difference in being authentically gentle and caring and trying to prove you are that manly man who takes care of his incapable wife in that gentleman-ly manly fashion.

[JillyO]

In addition to what has already been said, I also want to add that it is so obvious that Chad adores Erin, whereas Pecan barely even tolerates Pris.

[Marilla-Cuthbert2013]

I have a feeling since she has reconnected with her birth family that she doesn't want to upset her bio parents by involving the adoptive ones. And now I think she has fully embraced the Bates lifestyle/fame bandwagon.

I wonder if she has embraced the Bates' lifestyle, because she equates it to stability/security that she probably didn't have growing up.

Does that make sense? Because it makes sense in my head.

She is young, and it is my hope that one day she and Zach come to realize that there is room for both her parents and her adoptive parents in her life. But, something tells me that even if her relationship with her adoptive parents is currently strained, if she is in trouble they would be there in a heartbeat.

[tulip]

I wonder if she has embraced the Bates' lifestyle, because she equates it to stability/security that she probably didn't have growing up.

Does that make sense? Because it makes sense in my head.

She is young, and it is my hope that one day she and Zach come to realize that there is room for both her parents and her adoptive parents in her life. But, something tells me that even if her relationship with her adoptive parents is currently strained, if she is in trouble they would be there in a heartbeat.

Makes perfect sense to me. I've thought this myself for awhile too.

It's a shame that that's who this group tends to target. Not saying that Zach targeted Whitney, or that Whitney had any "issues" or "baggage," but the prison ministries or the missions trips to El Salvador come to mind. IBLP tells you 100% how to live your life and if you follow all of those things, you'll be blessed. I think the whole stability/security is what attracted most people to the organization in the first place. :shrug:

[Georgiana]

Makes perfect sense to me. I've thought this myself for awhile too.

It's a shame that that's who this group tends to target. Not saying that Zach targeted Whitney, or that Whitney had any "issues" or "baggage," but the prison ministries or the missions trips to El Salvador come to mind. IBLP tells you 100% how to live your life and if you follow all of those things, you'll be blessed. I think the whole stability/security is what attracted most people to the organization in the first place. :shrug:

I agree. I think that if you went up to most young women in college who are working part time and told them, "Hey, why don't you come with me? You will have to stop wearing the pants you like, you'll most likely be continually pregnant, and you can't work...even if my income isn't enough to maintain the standard of living you are used to. Oh yeah, and we have to do everything with my family, which has eleventy million people, and Friday nights are now going to be Bible Study instead of friend time...which will be fine because you're only allowed Godly friends which is basically no one." they'd tell you to hit the road. Yes, Whit has seemingly renegotiated some of that, but to MOST college attending, working young women, this life is NOT ATTRACTIVE at all.

I think there was a reason why this life was appealing to Whit, and I think it was because of her past. The Bates are the (seemingly) happy family she always wanted and that she wants for her kids. She probably sees the lifestyle as a way to get that happy, perfect family...which is a huge selling point for ATI. Follow these rules and have a happy family, guaranteed!

And that's why it is appealing to people from broken or unhappy homes: because it is a method to get that perfect family that they never had and don't know how to create. However, people FROM happy homes don't need the rules and methodology, they know how to get a happy home from their parents' example (and they know that happy homes come in all shapes and sizes and that there is no guarantee).

[Lewy]

I have to agree that Chad has never pinged for me, he just seems like one of those guys who is comfortable enough with himself to be sweet and sensitive to his wife. It probably doesn't hurt that he's in his late twenties and has more maturity and life experience (as much as ATI allows) than someone like Bin Seewald. But guys like Chad exist without being gay.

Erin totally won the husband lottery. Chad is a decent looking guy, comfortable with expressing his love, adores her, handy around the house and in decent shape as well looking at the doorframe video. I'd happily take a non fundie Chad for myself.

[Marilla-Cuthbert2013]

I have to agree that Chad has never pinged for me, he just seems like one of those guys who is comfortable enough with himself to be sweet and sensitive to his wife. It probably doesn't hurt that he's in his late twenties and has more maturity and life experience (as much as ATI allows) than someone like Bin Seewald. But guys like Chad exist without being gay.

Erin totally won the husband lottery. Chad is a decent looking guy, comfortable with expressing his love, adores her, handy around the house and in decent shape as well looking at the doorframe video. I'd happily take a non fundie Chad for myself.

Erin totally won the fundie husband lottery...

While it bothers me a lot that Chad's parents are highly educated, but yet discouraged their children to go to college (Imagine if Chad had a chance to study architecture or engineering), it does appear as though they did raise their sons differently than some of the other families in IBLP. They are willing to cook, clean, garden... Give Chad a few lessons, and I am certain he could take over the sewing for Michael when she marries and moves away.

But, I also think that Gil and Kelly raise their daughters differently too. I feel as though they taught their daughters to never settle for less than their "Gilbert Blythe"... So maybe that has something to do with it too.. I mean can anyone honestly say that Ben is Jessa's "Gilbert Blythe"...I don't think so.

[PennySycamore]

OT: Marilla, did you know that Jonathan Crombie, who played Gilbert Blythe in the miniseries that we loved so much in the 80s, died of a cerebral hemorrhage earlier this month? I'll post a tribute in Worldly Distractions later.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

I agree. I think that if you went up to most young women in college who are working part time and told them, "Hey, why don't you come with me? You will have to stop wearing the pants you like, you'll most likely be continually pregnant, and you can't work...even if my income isn't enough to maintain the standard of living you are used to. Oh yeah, and we have to do everything with my family, which has eleventy million people, and Friday nights are now going to be Bible Study instead of friend time...which will be fine because you're only allowed Godly friends which is basically no one." they'd tell you to hit the road. Yes, Whit has seemingly renegotiated some of that, but to MOST college attending, working young women, this life is NOT ATTRACTIVE at all.

I think there was a reason why this life was appealing to Whit, and I think it was because of her past. The Bates are the (seemingly) happy family she always wanted and that she wants for her kids. She probably sees the lifestyle as a way to get that happy, perfect family...which is a huge selling point for ATI. Follow these rules and have a happy family, guaranteed!

And that's why it is appealing to people from broken or unhappy homes: because it is a method to get that perfect family that they never had and don't know how to create. However, people FROM happy homes don't need the rules and methodology, they know how to get a happy home from their parents' example (and they know that happy homes come in all shapes and sizes and that there is no guarantee).

BUT, this is how ATI/IBLP "recruits." You go to a homeschool event with your toddler and you see that Mom who has it all together and you compliment here and she "reaches out" to you and before you know it, you are spending all your time enjoying her family's hospitality and the husband is "mentoring" your husband and WHAM! You are in the cult.

[Marilla-Cuthbert2013]

OT: Marilla, did you know that Jonathan Crombie, who played Gilbert Blythe in the miniseries that we loved so much in the 80s, died of a cerebral hemorrhage earlier this month? I'll post a tribute in Worldly Distractions later.

O/T Again (I am sorry)

Seriously, I was crying buckets... My husband was completely mystified at why I was so upset...

Me: You realize Jonathan Crombie was on my laminated list, right? I am in the depths of despair here...go away.

Jonathan Crombie had me at "Carrots".

I will meet you in Worldly Distractions.