Bringing Up Bates & Other Bates Family Doings

[zadie]

Has it? I really hope someone knows more about this. I'm new to all of this and have been lurking at this site for a bit but I am not familiar with the families. Sounds like an interesting story though.

[Majessasticpearls]

I assume this season will end with their engagement. I was reading another Bates forum and a few commented that they found Brandon creepy,along with Michael. What do you guys think of this? I don't like some of the Fundies we snark on,but I've never really gotten a creepy vibe from the Duggar's or Bates.Now the pearls? That's a different story.

[Dandruff]

I assume this season will end with their engagement. I was reading another Bates forum and a few commented that they found Brandon creepy,along with Michael. What do you guys think of this? I don't like some of the Fundies we snark on,but I've never really gotten a creepy vibe from the Duggar's or Bates.Now the pearls? That's a different story.

I also think the season will end with the engagement. He's out of school, presumably working for IBLP (which I'm sure won't be mentioned, more likely a reference to him working for a ministry or something along those lines), and it's not like there's any real chance of them breaking up. I don't find Michael creepy and I'm not sure what to make of Brandon. They both seem extremely "traditional" to me, in a Gothard kind of way. I can imagine them both 50 years older and, aside from physical aging, exactly the same.

[calimojo]

I thought Brandon did well with the younger kids and the craft table. I think Michael is a bit too over the top in her worship of him. I understand that is probably how she has been raised. She also seems to be a late bloomer. She was not especially attractive when she was younger, imo, but has matured into a very pretty young woman. She seems a bit like a giggly school girl over him, but again, it is probably to be expected with her upbringing. Brandon seems a bit more reserved, but I thought he was very gracious towards her grandparents and he was good with the kids. If I were Michael's mom, I would advise her to dial down the adoration a bit. But i was raised in an era where Women didn't tend to be overtly gushing. In my generation, a woman, would not typically be the first to say I love you, or suggest marriage. We might gush to our girlfriends, but we would play it cool with the guy.

yes, that is old fashioned and I know most don't feel that way now, but that was how I grew up. This is one reason why I hate shows like the Bachelor, because the whole idea of Women being that desperate for 5 minutes of a man's time is nuts. In my day, the point was to get the man to come to you, not the other way around.

[Mama Mia]

I thought Brandon seemed kind of stiff and unnatural. But I think it's more that he acts like 99% of the population would act with their lives being filmed. The Bates are just really oddly camera friendly people. Most of them could easily be regular actors and do very well. It's kind of strange, really. Even after all these years only a few of the older Duggars come across that relaxed.

[Majessasticpearls]

Yes,I see them both as super traditional. Michael is beautiful,but they both look super fundie compared to the other Bates couples. At first I thought he was another David Waller type,but I think they just caught him at a bad moment. Michael may be super gushy,but this is her first boyfriend and don't forget,he also does those over the top,too sweet romantic gestures!

[anjulibai]

I suspect that Michael was beginning to worry about finding a husband and she's just ridiculously happy to have someone in her life that gives her so much attention. She's always been shy and retiring, and without the sorts of things that bring attention to other girls in fundie circles, like Erin's music or Alyssa's poise. She's always come across to me as worrying that she'll be left a home to care for her parents and younger siblings.

She now has a future of her own, with someone that cares for her, and the prospect of her own home and children. Unlike Erin, who outside fundiedom could have had a significant music career, and unlike Alyssa, who could have done well in the fashion industry, or really, any business setting, Michael has always come across as the type of woman who really would choose to be a stay-at-home-wife and mother.

She's now getting exactly what she wants out of life and overcompensating for all the time she felt afraid she wouldn't get it.

[JuicyDuggar]

Chad isn't a "usual" nickname for Charles either, although I think I know at least one Chad whose real name is Charles. But that's Chad Paine's real name, yes? And at least one generation above him? So it seems they're following tradition but in a unique way; I like that. I personally like the unusual-but-not-too-qriy8v nicknames.

In the South, Chad is a ridiculously popular name/nickname for guys aged about 20-50. I also like Carson because it's not an expected nickname. Someone had to be the first William to go by Bill.

[Mabel]

I think this means they're not planning on a mega family, perhaps? If it were one of the other Bates children they might just leave Carson for the next boy name, but maybe -- for once -- a woman's health is winning out moar babiez as a sign of God's special approval? If so, I fully approve.

That's what I thought too. They probably want a mega family, but are being realistic since there have been complications.

[Snarkle]

It's understandable how Michael would be all "gushy" about Brandon by this point - they've been special friends for a while, and courting for a long while, and may or may not be engaged yet. Considering how rapid the time from courting to marriage is in their circles, it must feel like a lifetime from the time they first caught each other's eye until they'll be married. Regular couples would at least be holding hands, kissing, or more at their stage, but she is stuck on the precipice of marriage and all of its fundie perks but not quite there yet, so it must be maddening to wait. So yeah, I cut her some slack about wanting to just close the deal.

As for Carson, it's a pretty good nickname for a IV/fourth namesake. When I lived in North Carolina, it was quite traditional to have II, III, IV, V names - which reminds me more of royalty than popes, who actually get to choose their own name. It was an important legacy, especially in the old money families where your name meant a lot. I married an Ashkenazi Jewish-descent man where there are no juniors or II, III, etc. as it's bad luck to name a child after someone still alive - instead it's proper to name a child after (or use the first name's first letter in) a deceased relative in order to honor the relative and bond the child to him/her. We chose a Hebrew name for our son which happened to coincide with some deceased relatives' names, but it wasn't specifically chosen for that reason. Also, I have lived in several prominently Catholic regions with large Italian and Irish populations, and knew large families with several girls named Mary (or Maria) but with different middle names like Mary Elizabeth, Mary Katherine, Mary Beth, etc. (but most of those women at this point are in their 50s and older).

[Mama Mia]

It's understandable how Michael would be all "gushy" about Brandon by this point - they've been special friends for a while, and courting for a long while, and may or may not be engaged yet. Considering how rapid the time from courting to marriage is in their circles, it must feel like a lifetime from the time they first caught each other's eye until they'll be married. Regular couples would at least be holding hands, kissing, or more at their stage, but she is stuck on the precipice of marriage and all of its fundie perks but not quite there yet, so it must be maddening to wait. So yeah, I cut her some slack about wanting to just close the deal.

As for Carson, it's a pretty good nickname for a IV/fourth namesake. When I lived in North Carolina, it was quite traditional to have II, III, IV, V names - which reminds me more of royalty than popes, who actually get to choose their own name. It was an important legacy, especially in the old money families where your name meant a lot. I married an Ashkenazi Jewish-descent man where there are no juniors or II, III, etc. as it's bad luck to name a child after someone still alive - instead it's proper to name a child after (or use the first name's first letter in) a deceased relative in order to honor the relative and bond the child to him/her. We chose a Hebrew name for our son which happened to coincide with some deceased relatives' names, but it wasn't specifically chosen for that reason. Also, I have lived in several prominently Catholic regions with large Italian and Irish populations, and knew large families with several girls named Mary (or Maria) but with different middle names like Mary Elizabeth, Mary Katherine, Mary Beth, etc. (but most of those women at this point are in their 50s and older).

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

Yes to the Maria thing! I'm doing a family geneology project right now sorting through my dads stuff. Going back a few generations,a family with 10 daughters, 7 of them had Maria for their first name.

[feministxtian]

EVERY female on my mom's side of the family has Maria as one of their names (and mine too). We have Sylvia Maria, Carolina Maria, Carola Maria, Maria Belen, Josefina Maria, etc. My name has 2 of the family names mentioned above and my other grandmother's middle name. The men in my family ALL have Jose as one of their names...it's latino thing.

[whoviana]

My God, this Maria thing... Everyone in that country where I was born was called either Maria or (the local version of Elizabeth) or (the local version of Suzanna). Or Catalin. People started giving nickname kind of names to their children when the umpteenth girl was born.

[Snarkle]

How do you solve a [name] problem like Maria...

[whoviana]

Steve Maxwell "fixed it for me". He didn't like my name which is a version of "Maria", so he edited it. If people on the internet can just go ahead and change your given name to whatever the fuq they please, any sort of "name" problem is solvable.

[feministxtian]

How do you solve a [name] problem like Maria...

I had one daughter and she does NOT have Maria as one of her names. Her name is generic, all American. However, her first name was heavily influenced by Star Trek.

[twinmama]

I'm a fan of this one

The confederate flag IS about history, not racism. The northern states were not on a mission to free the slaves. Yes, they eventually did that, but they didn't say "either end slavery or we're going to war".

People who display a Confederate battle flag can think whatever they want, and they are welcome to display it. But having grown up in the north east, I see that flag and think "southern racist who wants to bring back slavery" and nothing else. If people want to be seen like that, go for it.

[twinmama]

The Confederate Flag was a battle flag. The battle they were fighting to win was one that would have kept people enslaved, so yes, it was promoting slavery and discriminating.

Exactly. I don't see anyone flying an actual Confederate flag, that represented the states. Just the battle flag, that represented what they were fighting for, keeping people enslaved, etc.

Actual CSA flag:

[Mama Mia]

EVERY female on my mom's side of the family has Maria as one of their names (and mine too). We have Sylvia Maria, Carolina Maria, Carola Maria, Maria Belen, Josefina Maria, etc. My name has 2 of the family names mentioned above and my other grandmother's middle name. The men in my family ALL have Jose as one of their names...it's latino thing.

Yeah, it makes trying to do a family tree interesting. Especially since the naming and recording customs going back are done differently by Latinos and Anglo's. And then names get mangled and misspelled on top of it. So if the middle names aren't recorded accurately--- you can get some weird looking relationships. I came across one record where it looked like my grandpa married his grandmother :lol: fortunately that wasn't the case.

[moreorlessnu]

Brandon, although a very nice young man, comes off as "personality-less" to me. In one talking head, Michael said she prayed for this everyday. I'm assuming she meant she prayed that she and Brandon would court (as opposed to praying for a man, any man, with whom to court). I wonder if she was very attracted to him, and someone somehow conveyed that message to him, and he was willing to get to know her.

In his talking head, he mentioned how he's beginning to realize what a wonderful person she is (or something to that effect). She is, no doubt. She's smart and hard working, and sweet and many other good things. But, the way he said that didn't come off as someone who is madly in love, more so like someone who has simply recognized that she is truly a special person, and respects her for that.

Carlson disappointed me by saying, "I didn't think it that far through" when she said she could have removed the tablecloth prior to standing on the table wearing her shoes. She could have come up with a much more intelligent answer than that. Even arguing that she stepped in the middle of the table, places where the floral arrangements or platters would be placed, and not where utensils or food would actually lay on the table would have been a better answer (not that that answer would appease Mamma Jane, but at least it would have been a different perspective than Mamma Jane's). For that matter, she could have flipped the tablecloth over and been done with it...

[pega127]

Yes,I see them both as super traditional. Michael is beautiful,but they both look super fundie compared to the other Bates couples. At first I thought he was another David Waller type,but I think they just caught him at a bad moment. Michael may be super gushy,but this is her first boyfriend and don't forget,he also does those over the top,too sweet romantic gestures!

They could be the next fudie power couple!!! Blowing Blessa and Bin out of the water!

[zz22zz]

I think Erin reads FJ, cause she was very careful to explain that they know Carson is not a nickname for Charles...

It's like she was anticipating what we would write here! ;)

[calimojo]

Brandon, although a very nice young man, comes off as "personality-less" to me. In one talking head, Michael said she prayed for this everyday. I'm assuming she meant she prayed that she and Brandon would court (as opposed to praying for a man, any man, with whom to court). I wonder if she was very attracted to him, and someone somehow conveyed that message to him, and he was willing to get to know her.

In his talking head, he mentioned how he's beginning to realize what a wonderful person she is (or something to that effect). She is, no doubt. She's smart and hard working, and sweet and many other good things. But, the way he said that didn't come off as someone who is madly in love, more so like someone who has simply recognized that she is truly a special person, and respects her for that.

Carlson disappointed me by saying, "I didn't think it that far through" when she said she could have removed the tablecloth prior to standing on the table wearing her shoes. She could have come up with a much more intelligent answer than that. Even arguing that she stepped in the middle of the table, places where the floral arrangements or platters would be placed, and not where utensils or food would actually lay on the table would have been a better answer (not that that answer would appease Mamma Jane, but at least it would have been a different perspective than Mamma Jane's). For that matter, she could have flipped the tablecloth over and been done with it...

Actually, I thought it was good that Carlin was able to admit she had not used very good judgment. Hopefully she apologized to Mamma Jane and let her know that she realized she should have done it differently. That would show true maturity. Kids do stupid stuff, that is why they have parents and grandparents around to help them understand that and learn.

I can't remember any of the Duggar kids ever admitting to doing anything wrong, ( other than "Sin in my heart" etc). I mean has Derick even come out to say "Upon reflection, I shouldn't have tried to sled into the cat and posting it was in poor taste". Nope, all we have heard on that from them is the sound of crickets chirping.

I Have so much more respect for someone who screws up and then at least owns it, than someone who does not.

[moreorlessnu]

Good point.Recognizing and admitting to a mistake is important.

I hope Carlin did apologize to Mamma Jane.

[calimojo]

I think that Gil and Kelly could do a bit more with all the kids in terms of having them be a bit more respectful towards their grandparents. Not that they were rude to them, but They are a rambunctious group, and it would not hurt them at all, to try to be little less active and make an effort to be quieter when they are around them.

This is mild criticism, because I think the kids are good kids. But I know when I took my kids to see my parents, we always reminded them that they needed to be a bit quieter, and neater because Grandma and Grandpa aren't used to be around little kids.

Most of the Bates kids are old enough to understand that they need to rein it in a bit around older people, especially since it is known that she gets a little stressed by all the kids