Alyssa Bates/Webster is wearing PANTS!!

[nelliebelle1197]

I really wish we weren't calling anyone's clothing choices "slutty" or "hooker clothes."

I really wish people would get over themselves with this sort of language policing. Seriously. These were shoes she pinned on pinterest, not clothes, first of all. Just things she pinned, not something she wore, second of all.

The use of the words are actually more literary than literal, I do believe - attempting to draw a contrast between the sheltered fundy-ism of the Bates house and Alyssa's actual desires.

I have been the proud owner of more than one pair of hooker shoes. Actually, since I bought the first pair with a friend of mine who was then a stripper, perhaps I should have said "stripper shoes". She wore hers to work. As a stripper.

ETA: Did a quick search for the word "slutty". It does not appear that anyone used that word, though you quoted it.

[Pretzel]

I was waiting for this to happen. Even in the 'courtship' pics of her and John Webster, I thought her top was extremely tight... She obviously made an appeal to her father that she be allowed to wear tighter clothes and high heels instead of flats all the time and so I think he must have made a compromise with her so that she would not wear pants. I think she started to express herself a lot in her footwear, because her shoes became more and more outrageous. I always think the first sign of 'rebelion' in girls from these families is in their earrings. They get bigger, more colourful, more expressive, and more dangly.

I am sure she will continue to push the boundaries with her clothes, given that she's never had any freedom before to dress how she likes. Susannah Keller dressed very slutty for a while there, until she eventually settled down into a more normal level. She used to post pics of herself on facebook wearing teeny tiny dresses that were so short and tight most 'normal' people on the street would have been a bit shocked by her slutty attire.

I recall Kelly mentioning in a blog comment to someone that in the lead up to the wedding she was just feeling pretty grumpy and 'moping around the house' all the time, because she just wanted to the wedding to be over because she missed John so much and wanted to be with him all the time. I thought that was quite a strange situation, given how much they like to reiterate the close-knit family bonds. It seems like she was getting pretty sick of playing by the family rules and was more than ready to exit.

I think her lack of control in that environment also lead her to develop an eating disorder. Her natural frame is quite similar to the other bates girls (who carry a healthy, ripe appearance). but in the lead up to the wedding, she was very underweight. She still is quite skinny probably due to the stress of so much change happening at once. Hopefully her weight will stabalise as she settles into being a wife and mother in florida etc.

Just for you, nelliebelle.

No offense, jinseng.

ETA: I give her a big pass on the heels. She's tiny and John is TALL. With Capitals. I'd want to compensate at least a bit of our difference in sizes if I were in her shoes (pun intended).

[Mama Mia]

I really wish people would get over themselves with this sort of language policing. Seriously. These were shoes she pinned on pinterest, not clothes, first of all. Just things she pinned, not something she wore, second of all.

The use of the words are actually more literary than literal, I do believe - attempting to draw a contrast between the sheltered fundy-ism of the Bates house and Alyssa's actual desires.

I have been the proud owner of more than one pair of hooker shoes. Actually, since I bought the first pair with a friend of mine who was then a stripper, perhaps I should have said "stripper shoes". She wore hers to work. As a stripper.

ETA: Did a quick search for the word "slutty". It does not appear that anyone used that word, though you quoted it.

I'm sorry, I must object. The correct terminology for those shoes is Come Fuck Me Pumps. Everyone knows that! :stir-pot: :whistle:

Sorry, couldn't resist. Also the phrasing for the big hoop earrings when I was in school was

" the bigger the o the bigger the ho" . My hoops hit my shoulders :twisted:

Seriously, I understand the reasoning behind the language policing, but also think it can overboard. Just my unasked for 2 cents. And I am in the privileged position where I didn't grow up being made to feel like my clothing , or sexual choices, said much about me as a person -- one way or the other. So it is, I'm sure, easier to joke about it.

[nelliebelle1197]

Just for you, nelliebelle.

No offense, jinseng.

ETA: I give her a big pass on the heels. She's tiny and John is TALL. With Capitals. I'd want to compensate at least a bit of our difference in sizes if I were in her shoes (pun intended).

I thank you. I did not find this.

[StellaMarie]

Well, I'll snark! I'm glad that she's loosening up. But "slutty" clothes have rules, too -- and that halter dress is meant for summer, not January (yes, even in FL). It's certainly not meant to be worn with a black tube/tank top and black knee boots.

Seriously, though, I am glad she's expanding her horizons. It's too bad she has to go through the awkward stages many of us got past in our early teens. :)

[nelliebelle1197]

I'm sorry, I must object. The correct terminology for those shoes is Come Fuck Me Pumps. Everyone knows that! :stir-pot: :whistle:

Sorry, couldn't resist. Also the phrasing for the big hoop earrings when I was in school was

" the bigger the o the bigger the ho" . My hoops hit my shoulders :twisted:

Seriously, I understand the reasoning behind the language policing, but also think it can overboard. Just my unasked for 2 cents. And I am in the privileged position where I didn't grow up being made to feel like my clothing , or sexual choices, said much about me as a person -- one way or the other. So it is, I'm sure, easier to joke about it.

I just remember in college my friends and I embraced that language if we felt like using it. We were young, pretty and in a top notch college. We could do what we wanted- we could be scholars or dress like hookers. :whistle: :whistle: It was liberating and UP TO US! One of my favorite outfits was a sheer wildly printed button down that I wore mostly unbuttoned with a fringed bra, black velvet mini skirt, thigh highs and steel toed boots. We went out nearly every night. I also worked two jobs and maintained an 3.7 GPA (damn that required science!). Ahh... the sweet bird of youth.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

Well, I'll snark! I'm glad that she's loosening up. But "slutty" clothes have rules, too -- and that halter dress is meant for summer, not January (yes, even in FL). It's certainly not meant to be worn with a black tube/tank top and black knee boots.

Seriously, though, I am glad she's expanding her horizons. It's too bad she has to go through the awkward stages many of us got past in our early teens. :)

Man. Your first paragraph reads like the people I come into contact here. So many people get offended that I wear "out of season" clothes. The way I see it, if you want to listen to "fashion rules," good for you. But not everyone feels the need to limit their self expression in the same way as you and that's not for you to restrict.

[StellaMarie]

Man. Your first paragraph reads like the people I come into contact here. So many people get offended that I wear "out of season" clothes. The way I see it, if you want to listen to "fashion rules," good for you. But not everyone feels the need to limit their self expression in the same way as you and that's not for you to restrict.

Thought I made it clear that I was snarking. On a snark site. Please don't try to restrict me. :hand: :snooty: :naughty: :nenner:

[16strong]

I know this is responding to snark, but it is a real thing. Years ago, I had someone [my age] haughtily declare that they dressed according to season, not according to weather. I thought she was crazy. So I'm supposed to be sweltering in my wool coat and scarf if it's hot and humid in December? What if it rains in the summer? Am I allowed to wear rain boots and carry an umbrella if it's not April? I'll be honest. I wear shorts and sandals when it's warm. Don't care if that's January or August. I also regularly wear sweaters with shorts, because I like to.

[StellaMarie]

I know this is responding to snark, but it is a real thing. Years ago, I had someone [my age] haughtily declare that they dressed according to season, not according to weather. I thought she was crazy. So I'm supposed to be sweltering in my wool coat and scarf if it's hot and humid in December? What if it rains in the summer? Am I allowed to wear rain boots and carry an umbrella if it's not April? I'll be honest. I wear shorts and sandals when it's warm. Don't care if that's January or August. I also regularly wear sweaters with shorts, because I like to.

I genuinely didn't mean to touch a nerve -- it really was meant to be lighthearted snark. I don't yell at my grandma when she wears white sneakers after Labor Day, for example (<-- that was a joke).

What really bugged me is the juxtaposition of the summer dress and the black boots. But she's a cute girl -- and there's photographic evidence of me doing worse around that age. ;)

[LittleOleMe]

I know this is responding to snark, but it is a real thing. Years ago, I had someone [my age] haughtily declare that they dressed according to season, not according to weather. I thought she was crazy. So I'm supposed to be sweltering in my wool coat and scarf if it's hot and humid in December? What if it rains in the summer? Am I allowed to wear rain boots and carry an umbrella if it's not April? I'll be honest. I wear shorts and sandals when it's warm. Don't care if that's January or August. I also regularly wear sweaters with shorts, because I like to.

Wow. This person sounds like an idiot. Three years ago we had this really odd heat wave in the first week of February. I took my children to the park and we had a picnic. In the Northeast. It may have been February but I was wearing short sleeves with a light sweater jacket was on and off depending on the shade and sun. The next week it was almost snow weather cold. Really strange. I dress according to what is comfortable. And I let my children do the same. If they want to wear short sleeves in the snow, fine. They'll come in when they're cold and maybe they'll listen next time. ( HA! :lol: Sure they will)

I'll agree though it's a shame she's going through these awkward "find yourself" stages at the age of 20, while married and pregnant, and with the wonderful world of the internet. I guess it doesn't matter how old you are when these things happen anymore though. If you don't post it to social media, then your friends will, or your parents will, or some other asshole family member will. I do feel bad for the kids today who will literally have their entire lives on preserved on the internet for all time. From spit ups to potty training to first crushes to puberty to everything.

[calimojo]

My retired parents live in the southwest with a lot of other northern transplants. Now they pretty much wear shorts and tee shirts all year round because they don't give a rat's ass about fashion. But they have lots of friends who insist on dressing for the Season, and not the temperature. They even have friends who have fur coats that they wear for evenings out. No joking here, in their area it can easily get to 80 degrees in January.

I think some of it is just that people who live in warm climates get bored wearing the same stuff all year long, so they dress for the season. And I think it is an age thing. Older folks tend to pay more attention to the seasons, not wearing white before Memorial Day or after Labor Day, etc.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

I genuinely didn't mean to touch a nerve -- it really was meant to be lighthearted snark. I don't yell at my grandma when she wears white sneakers after Labor Day, for example (<-- that was a joke).

What really bugged me is the juxtaposition of the summer dress and the black boots. But she's a cute girl -- and there's photographic evidence of me doing worse around that age. ;)

I used to think it was stupid to wear boots with short dresses or skirts. The I did one day when it was 26* outside. I don't remember why I had the skirt on though I'm sure it made sense at the time. Anyways, I ended up pretty warm despite the fact that between my mid shins and mid thighs was completely bare and my skirt was definitely a summery cotton skirt. Lol

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

My retired parents live in the southwest with a lot of other northern transplants. Now they pretty much wear shorts and tee shirts all year round because they don't give a rat's ass about fashion. But they have lots of friends who insist on dressing for the Season, and not the temperature. They even have friends who have fur coats that they wear for evenings out. No joking here, in their area it can easily get to 80 degrees in January.

I think some of it is just that people who live in warm climates get bored wearing the same stuff all year long, so they dress for the season. And I think it is an age thing. Older folks tend to pay more attention to the seasons, not wearing white before Memorial Day or after Labor Day, etc.

I remember living in Florida and it being in the 60s, but my classmates and I were all dressed in snow suits because we were adamant that it was so cold we would freeze to death otherwise.

But now that I live in CT, it can be 16-30* outside and I'm fine in just a long sleeve shirt (provided it's not windy).

[Mitz_]

Kelly has fielded several questions about Alyssa's clothing choices on the new Bate's website. I think that this is a very big deal for her and she is VERY unhappy about Alyssa's new style, but she does know that she has to accept it . Now if Alyssa shows up in shorts or bare shoulders at her parents house next summer, that will be another thing. I can only imagine how poor Kelly is already fretting over the thought of her new baby granddaughter wearing defrauding little onesies , shorts and dresses. Alyssa is just figuring out her own style and she is going to have a ball dressing her new baby.

[HuggleMonster]

I don't think I've ever enjoyed a thread more than this one.

I can picture it now in a secret meeting.

Gothard: we need more members! Does anyone have any ideas on how we can soften our image and lure more suckers in?

Random person: how about we be more accepting like Jesus was?

Gothard: NO!..... I have it!!! PANTS!...but make sure you don't tell anyone of my awesome idea.

:cray-cray:

I really doubt pants, of any sort, are going to persuade more people to join. Unless they're already like minded.

[treemom]

We do know it was a big enough deal that Whitney became dresses only when she was dating Zach. I am sure at minimum it has disappointed her parents...but it could be anywhere in the spectrum really. The Bates are weird that way and I think that is what makes them more palatable than the Duggars. (And therefore more dangerous in my opinion because they still hold most of the same toxic beliefs)

[actuallyjessica]

I don't think I've ever enjoyed a thread more than this one.

I can picture it now in a secret meeting.

Gothard: we need more members! Does anyone have any ideas on how we can soften our image and lure more suckers in?

Random person: how about we be more accepting like Jesus was?

Gothard: NO!..... I have it!!! PANTS!...but make sure you don't tell anyone of my awesome idea.

:cray-cray:

I really doubt pants, of any sort, are going to persuade more people to join. Unless they're already like minded.

exactly. where do the bates' advertise in a way that would make people wanna join them? where has alyssa mentioned religion besides the fact that some of her pictures are taken in church or after church? what about it would make people think "oh, they're cool and totally normal. let me decide to change my relgion to be the same as theirs. they're allowed to wear pants so it must be cool".

some people will get blood out of a rock.

[actuallyjessica]

I can only imagine how poor Kelly is already fretting over the thought of her new baby granddaughter wearing defrauding little onesies , shorts and dresses. Alyssa is just figuring out her own style and she is going to have a ball dressing her new baby.

there's not a single dress or baby skirt on their registries. just onsies and pants. LOL. i love it.

[19 cats and counting]

Am I the only one on here that likes Alyssa's style? I like how she's having fun with maternity shirts too ('bun in the oven,' 'here comes trouble' etc). When she wore those pink heels at her wedding, I thought she rocked them. In fact I'm envious that she's able to wear shoes like that and is able to walk.

I'm much older than Alyssa, but I'd wear a lot of the stuff that she does.

I think the pants symbolize Alyssa's newfound freedom. I personally think 19 is too young to get married, but it's the best thing that could have happened to her. She used her marriage as a way to flee the nest and establish her own set of rules (I don't get the sense that she and John are as religious as her siblings because she doesn't post religious stuff to social media like the others do-- the only sense you get they're religious at all is posting pics from church).

[Firiel]

Sometimes I pretend the reason I don't snark on fashion/style is 100% because I'm above snarking on physical appearances because those don't matter in the long run.

In reality, it's likely at least partly because I'm about as snarkworthy in that regard at 27 as Alyssa is at 20, and I am forever grateful that there was not a website looking at my pictures when I was 20! :pink-shock:

:P

[LittleOleMe]

We do know it was a big enough deal that Whitney became dresses only when she was dating Zach. I am sure at minimum it has disappointed her parents...but it could be anywhere in the spectrum really. The Bates are weird that way and I think that is what makes them more palatable than the Duggars. (And therefore more dangerous in my opinion because they still hold most of the same toxic beliefs)

Whitney was living with adopted parents, or her friends parents who were her guardians. Weren't her biological parents killed in a car crash? Or was that the friend who died and she then went to live with the friends parents? Either way, she wasn't living with her parents and had a difficult childhood. I think her family - the people who were caring for her when she met Zach - were just happy that she found someone who loved her and wanted to care for her. Plus, this is TN we're talking about. That's practically the christian headquarters outside of TX.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Whitney was living with adopted parents, or her friends parents who were her guardians. Weren't her biological parents killed in a car crash? Or was that the friend who died and she then went to live with the friends parents? Either way, she wasn't living with her parents and had a difficult childhood. I think her family - the people who were caring for her when she met Zach - were just happy that she found someone who loved her and wanted to care for her. Plus, this is TN we're talking about. That's practically the christian headquarters outside of TX.

Whitneys parents abused her (this was reported in a topix board) and we don't know if they're in her life anymore. She was adopted (formally? We don't know) by the Owens family. It was their daughter who was killed in a car accident. Whitney continues to see her adoptive parents, who are Christian but very "normal" (pants, tv, Halloween, cheerleading). It is a good point that the skirts must be somewhat important since she started wearing them full time. We don't know what she wears off camera though. Maybe Alyssa will give all of the girls some fashion hope.

[LittleOleMe]

Whitneys parents abused her (this was reported in a topix board) and we don't know if they're in her life anymore. She was adopted (formally? We don't know) by the Owens family. It was their daughter who was killed in a car accident. Whitney continues to see her adoptive parents, who are Christian but very "normal" (pants, tv, Halloween, cheerleading). It is a good point that the skirts must be somewhat important since she started wearing them full time. We don't know what she wears off camera though. Maybe Alyssa will give all of the girls some fashion hope.

I thought that was the case but I wasn't sure and I didn't want to make the accusations without being 100%. But I'm remembering that now that you mention it. Thanks for clearing that up.

[eh02]

Whitney very well could just be wearing skirts to make an effort to fit in with and respect Zach's parents. Since there are so many rumors (and, well, they are probably true) of her being, uh, not Kelly's first choice, she may really be attempting to go the extra mile to show them that she respects their wishes and is willing to make some changes for them.

She wouldn't be the first person to have to go through all sorts of stupid acrobatics just to please their in laws!