Four Little Fergusons

[formergothardite]

Wait, what? When did that happen? What did she do about it? OMG!!

:P

She must keep this information hidden in a dark corner of her blog because just looking at the main page I would have had NO idea that her husband cheated on her! NONE!

:lol:

[SusanAtTheLastBattle]

You guys, she needs time to take some OMG MODEST senior class photos, like this one:

(I kind of appreciate the young woman's self-confidence in this photo, but traditionally modest it's not.)

[OneFifthQuiverFull]

You guys, she needs time to take some OMG MODEST senior class photos, like this one:

(I kind of appreciate the young woman's self-confidence in this photo, but traditionally modest it's not.)

Let me say this: She is a beautiful young lady. However!, when I saw that picture on The Woman Scorned's blog, I thought it looked like she was holding on to bedrails. :shock:

[ViolaSebastian]

Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but a photo of me showing off my pits would not be one of the photos I'd want on someone's blog.

[Cartmann99]

You guys, she needs time to take some OMG MODEST senior class photos, like this one:

(I kind of appreciate the young woman's self-confidence in this photo, but traditionally modest it's not.)

She is a very pretty young woman.

I must not be up on the latest fashions. To me, her top looks like an ice skating costume that shrunk in the wash. :think:

[salex]

She must keep this information hidden in a dark corner of her blog because just looking at the main page I would have had NO idea that her husband cheated on her! NONE!

But-- didn't God tell her to Blog? Isn't she just putting God on hold and her ministry as well?

She should consider what happened to Jonah.... if God wants her blogging, she'd better get with it... or acknowledge that when God talks to her it sounds like her own voice.

:lol:

[Grimalkin]

And, even if she isn't feeling inspired, can't she pray really hard for a post? Won't God send her one, since they are extra-special buddies, after He is done with butter and/or margarine, cell phone cases, and parking spaces for other fundies?

Hey now, the parking god is REAL!

I also swear on a stack if "Dianetics" that the "Little Jusus Lost and Found" prayer helped me find my shoes when I was a kid.

I was constantly losing my shoes- true story.

[Coco]

Hey now, the parking god is REAL!

I also swear on a stack if "Dianetics" that the "Little Jusus Lost and Found" prayer helped me find my shoes when I was a kid.

I was constantly losing my shoes- true story.

This is kind of new-age :lol: but somewhere i read praying for lost things opens up the consciousness to remember details or notice clues.

[lawfulevil]

I checked GOMI to make sure they hadn't caused the flounce, and they haven't posted about her in almost a week. So I can safely say that I've noticed a pattern- every time someone comments about Dale still cheating on her, Tonya escalates.

The first time she posted the LEAVE BRITNEY TONYA ALONE post.

Now she's flouncing straight off the internet for as long as it takes a WHOLE MONTH guys. "I'm out of posts!" she says, then lists 8 things she could have posted about. Bullshit you're out of posts.

I think she knows (somewhere in her heart, if not receipts in her laundry) that:

1. That the supposed "other woman" wasn't the first.

2. That it wasn't one time.

3. That Dale is still screwing other people.

The news article I found about it says Dale had a "brief affair with a coworker" worthy of a "living room press conference", which doesn't sound like ONE TIME to me. So we already know the story in "Beauty from Ashes" is smoke and mirrors for her probably-inevitable stab at novelizing her blog.

today.com/health/we-feel-you-huma-disapproving-friends-add-extra-sting-infidelity-6C10738308

But it's ALL about image with Tonya, and she knows that she would look RIDICULOUS if she did this whole thing all over again after the SECOND WEDDING, a gigantic web serial about how Jesus saved their marriage, NEWS COVERAGE, and all the other shit she put her family/friends through. So he's cheating (still, again, whatever), what's she gonna do? Have a THIRD wedding? Like anyone would even show up at this point?

She knows it's get a divorce or put up with it quietly. She's already declared not divorcing her hill to die on, so silent resentment it is. We must be making "put up with it quietly" a real pain in the ass, huh, Tonya.

Sorry hun, you can run away from all us bitches pointing out the lipstick on his collar, but you still have to live with the stains. Sucks to be you.

[salex]

Two things. I think there is another Tanya Ferguson who wrote a book. Older, heavier, fewer kids.... can't find the one THIS Tanya may have written.

Secondly-- WTF is she doing wearing sequins and heels while her husband is is shorts and flipflops in Branson. Has the man no pants?

[Curious]

I checked GOMI to make sure they hadn't caused the flounce, and they haven't posted about her in almost a week. So I can safely say that I've noticed a pattern- every time someone comments about Dale still cheating on her, Tonya escalates.

The first time she posted the LEAVE BRITNEY TONYA ALONE post.

Now she's flouncing straight off the internet for as long as it takes a WHOLE MONTH guys. "I'm out of posts!" she says, then lists 8 things she could have posted about. Bullshit you're out of posts.

I think it's safe to say that Tonya has never heard of the "Streisand effect." I noticed we had a thread on this topic, but I had never opened it until I was looking through our stats and saw there was a link from her blog to us. That piqued my interest so I went to her blog to see why we were mentioned. It'd be a few days, so I had to scroll through a few of her posts to find one that might be mentioning us. It wasn't too hard to figure out which one it was, of course ;)

So then I came and read our thread to see why we "bes mean to her" (I haven't read the GOMI thread) and by then I was invested enough to keep reading this thread and making the occasional comment.

A few days after that when doing my daily perusal of the various site monitoring things that we employ, I happened to notice that for whatever time period the stats were for (some use week, some use month and I wasn't really paying attention to which it was), she was our 3rd highest referrer :shock:

For reference google is generally always #1. I'm not sure I've ever seen a personal website in the top 5, to be honest, but it's quite possible it's happened before and I just haven't caught it. I've been watching things much closer lately due to the problems we've been having.

[lawfulevil]

Her mom posted on the latest, a quick Google of her mom's name got a username for a woman matching her description and location. I checked the username and got 3 total results, which I expected due to the kreaytivv spelling.

1. A travel website, which says the woman is in her mid-50s and in the same city as Tonya. Definitely her mom.

2. A GodTube account. Tonya's mom also comments on GodTube with her Facebook. Definitely her mom again.

3. A spanking fetish forum. Christian Domestic Discipline style stuff. The username doesn't match, but the IM username they give is a 100% match for spelling. They quit posting in late 2002 and deleted their account, but all their old posts are still up.

Her mom's amazon wishlist has "How to Forgive Your Ex-Husband: And Get on With Your Life " added March 12, 2004.

A slightly different spelling (1 instead of one) leads to her mom's inactive ChristianMingle account.

I understand now, Tonya. You had to skip straight to publicly humiliating Dale. After all, you already knew spanking him wouldn't help.

[chaotic life]

I don't even know how to respond to that news article. I think it's very telling that approximately 50% of marriages experience infidelity and 2/3 of those situations try to save the marriage (half that attempt it succeed to at least 5 years out) and the only representative the news reporter could find willing to be interviewed was poor little Tonya says SO much.

So too does the fact that she's deliberately deceptive about how long they have been working on it in the interview. Efforts to address infidelity are NEVER counted from the time they actually occurred but from the point they are discovered. She does not get credit for the year she lived in the dark and get to make it appear as if she's at three years out with the second wedding happening nearly two years out. She's padding her time because no one would take her seriously to realize she was giving "expert" interviews at less than a year from when her marriage fell apart.

Beyond that, wtf is she holding press conference coverage with family and friends for in the first place???

I'm all for bringing affairs into the light of day, don't get me wrong. However, so long as you intend to stay in the marriage, then you need to not tell information to people who are not safe. Furthermore, no marriage should be open for a damn town hall of public opinion. It is one thing to speak to someone to help you process and another to put it so far out there that everyone can tell you to leave him. And to speak with authority as if it always happens that way is ridiculous.

I was very blunt and matter of fact with my friends, because this frames where I am now. Only one family member has ever known. If I intended to leave him, I would have told them but I knew they would castrate him and want to protect me. To rebuild the actual marriage meant he had a right to sit at the Thanksgiving table and not have his failings be a permanent topic of conversation.

Besides, it's not that uncommon, even in at own of 45,000, Tonya. You are no where near the only jilted wife. You are a rare breed that sees a personal fame whore opportunity out of it though. The town is not talking about you because he cheated. They are talking about you because they can't figure out why on earth he stays when you lost your shit and have become the embodiment of his scarlet "A".

[lawfulevil]

Besides, it's not that uncommon, even in at own of 45,000, Tonya. You are no where near the only jilted wife. You are a rare breed that sees a personal fame whore opportunity out of it though. The town is not talking about you because he cheated. They are talking about you because they can't figure out why on earth he stays when you lost your shit and have become the embodiment of his scarlet "A".

Freakin' amen. It was ALL ABOUT HER, too-

So this was quite scandalous, that Tonya’s godly, Christian husband fell, and fell hard -- and that I was choosing to stay with him.

She talks about him like she owns him. SO scandalous, that Tonya's godly, Christian Labrador Retriever humped the neighbor's slutty poodle.

[formergothardite]

I can't figure out why he stays. Yes, marriages can heal from infidelity, but not if the cheated on spouse makes it their mission in life to never let anyone forget that her husband cheated.

[nelliebelle1197]

I am boarding the speculation train, which I do try to avoid because I like evidence, BUT I wonder if Dale is abused by Tonya, verbally at the very least. My best friend was in a verbally and sometimes physically abusive marriage to a controlling nutbag with a narcissistic personality disorder. She only got the courage and confidence to leave after a couple of affairs- it was the only outlet she had to rebuild her confidence because she was so broken. He is still using their child as a tool to hurt her 7 years later even though he is married, makes piles of money and has a good life. Narcissists are incapable of seeing any side but their own and any world outside the one they create, which is why they are so quick and skillful with abuse and manipulation of those trapped in their webs.... just a thought.

[Firiel]

I am boarding the speculation train, which I do try to avoid because I like evidence, BUT I wonder if Dale is abused by Tonya, verbally at the very least. My best friend was in a verbally and sometimes physically abusive marriage to a controlling nutbag with a narcissistic personality disorder. She only got the courage and confidence to leave after a couple of affairs- it was the only outlet she had to rebuild her confidence because she was so broken. He is still using their child as a tool to hurt her 7 years later even though he is married, makes piles of money and has a good life. Narcissists are incapable of seeing any side but their own and any world outside the one they create, which is why they are so quick and skillful with abuse and manipulation of those trapped in their webs.... just a thought.

Meh... I'm a little hesitant to board the speculation train on something as serious as abuse with as little info as we have.

That hesitation is for personal reasons, so I understand that other people have different boundaries, and encourage them to speculate away because that is, after all, a large part of what we do here.

[salex]

I'm going to say that in my marriage, either of us publishing details like Tanya published about their marriage would be considered completely out of bounds. To me it would fall into a version of abuse because it is a way to constantly beat him over the head with his past. But then, I view the things Cabinet Man wrote about his treatment of his wife as abusive--not just what he did to her, but the bragging and long suffering gleefulness in his tone about how he was the good guy and she was the out of control person and he deemed her salvageble. I think Lori and Ken both are abusive to one another on their blogs in the way they reveal and refer to their past and current relationship issues.

Tanya, L Ron Cupboard and LorKen all use their blogs to lift themselves up at the expense of their spouse's public reputation. I find that despicable. It may not be true abuse, though it seems abusive to me. I would never do it, and if I were the partner being discussed in that way, I would be finding an exit.

[ViolaSebastian]

I'm going to say that in my marriage, either of us publishing details like Tanya published about their marriage would be considered completely out of bounds. To me it would fall into a version of abuse because it is a way to constantly beat him over the head with his past. But then, I view the things Cabinet Man wrote about his treatment of his wife as abusive--not just what he did to her, but the bragging and long suffering gleefulness in his tone about how he was the good guy and she was the out of control person and he deemed her salvageble. I think Lori and Ken both are abusive to one another on their blogs in the way they reveal and refer to their past and current relationship issues.

Tanya, L Ron Cupboard and LorKen all use their blogs to lift themselves up at the expense of their spouse's public reputation. I find that despicable. It may not be true abuse, though it seems abusive to me. I would never do it, and if I were the partner being discussed in that way, I would be finding an exit.

I agree with you. There's actually a term used in family/marital counseling for this: gunny sacking. As in, you never forget what someone did to wrong you, and when they screw up a little, say, forget to take the trash out: BAM! You remind them of that no good, very bad thing they did years ago. It's a way to always assure you're 'in the right'.

[SquirrelySquirrel]

I'm going to say that in my marriage, either of us publishing details like Tanya published about their marriage would be considered completely out of bounds. To me it would fall into a version of abuse because it is a way to constantly beat him over the head with his past. But then, I view the things Cabinet Man wrote about his treatment of his wife as abusive--not just what he did to her, but the bragging and long suffering gleefulness in his tone about how he was the good guy and she was the out of control person and he deemed her salvageble. I think Lori and Ken both are abusive to one another on their blogs in the way they reveal and refer to their past and current relationship issues.

Tanya, L Ron Cupboard and LorKen all use their blogs to lift themselves up at the expense of their spouse's public reputation. I find that despicable. It may not be true abuse, though it seems abusive to me. I would never do it, and if I were the partner being discussed in that way, I would be finding an exit.

I'm completely with you. I'm also that person who has messaged a couple FB friends to ask if they need someone to vent to, and if they really want to leave up that horrible rant about their spouse for the world to see. And I unfriend people who do it more than once or twice. It makes me ill to see people treat their partners that way. By all means, find someone to talk to! If it must be on the world wide web, find a way to do it anonymously! It's not that difficult.

[sparkles]

I almost feel like these two have made a deal with the devil (for lack of a better phrase, although it's kind of apt here) that gives her the power to publicly humiliate him and for him to continue to put up with it. Like she's got some real dirt on him that could be his undoing so he's agreed to stay with her to keep up appearances and she's free to continue to trash him in the bargain. Pure speculation in my part but I just don't see why he would basically allow her to mock and emasculate him unless she had him by the proverbial short ones. If you want to heal your marriage, then don't keep opening the raw wound, you know?

It reminds me of a later season of the TV show Frasier, when Niles ran off with Daphne shortly after eloping with Mel(anie). To save face, Mel would only agree to divorce him if he played the idiot, humiliating himself in public so she could be portrayed as the wounded party who finally had enough and dumped him with good reason. I see the exact same dynamic at play here.

[Grimalkin]

My speculative theory is he stays to protect the kids from "Mommy Dearest" the thing about divorce is you have very little control over what goes on when kids are at the other parents house. Him going after custody would likely be not only ugly and hard on kids, but costly, and risky if he can't prove she is batshit crazy.

She won't divorce him because she likes her lifestyle too much. She had a post about how she had a garage sale to put the money toward a new kitchen, when she had the sale the next year it had to go toward paying bills. So how much clothing does she buy in a year to have a sale for it? I also doubt she got them all at Target. She stays home, gets to play model, and blog all day. She also has no education or job expierience. She takes great photos but it would be a lot of hard work to support her lifestyle from it. The only way she would leave him is if she had a rich guy already lined up.

[lawfulevil]

I think it's only appropriate to vent about your spouse under certain circumstances, same as your kids. It's not like my husband never does things that annoy me or hurt my feelings, he does. And I annoy him and hurt his feelings sometimes too. I can't say I'm Starcraft's biggest fan lately, and I'm sure he cringes every time he sees me cooing at a new kitchen appliance. (I'm sorry about the pressure canner incident, honey...)

It's NOT appropriate to "vent" without trying to solve the problem, to permanently damage your spouse/kids' relationship with others, or a lot of the other shit Tonya does. There's literally nothing Dale can do to fix the problem. He can't undo the past, and he's already done everything a reasonable person can do to help their spouse heal. Tonya either needs to work on actually forgiving him and move on, or she needs to divorce him. This constant shame-parade is not the answer, and it's not okay.

I have a relative that does this too, it's maddening. She stores up every insult, real or imaginary, big or tiny, and anytime she's not getting her way she grabs her cross and clubs you with it. If you ever want to hear a list of every sin you've ever committed in your life down to hanging the toilet paper the wrong way, just tell her you're tired of seafood and she has to pick somewhere besides Red Lobster.

[Terrie]

The post about how EOs will eat through a balloon, therefore it will get rid of any plastic in your body? Balloons are rubber, not plastic, and ANY oil will break down rubber. That's why peanut butter gets gum out of hair and you have to be careful of what lube you use with condoms.

[Curious]

The post about how EOs will eat through a balloon, therefore it will get rid of any plastic in your body? Balloons are rubber, not plastic, and ANY oil will break down rubber. That's why peanut butter gets gum out of hair and you have to be careful of what lube you use with condoms.

FACTS! FACTS! BEGONE EVIL FACTS!

*ahem*

carry on