Ken and Lori: Molestation doesn't have to = divorce

[jerkit]

I think we can safely assume that women with sex drives are unchristian-like harlots who need to get themselves in line and be satisfied with 10-minute quickies like a godly Christian woman.

I was mildly amused (but also saddened) that the author of the piece had to specify that she had a virtuous upbringing and no sexual history that could ever be remotely to blame for her sex drive. Because, of course, in this twisted world, a woman with a high sex drive is an unnatural creature, and they must find wherein the fault lies.

I noticed that too - her post was veiled in shame. Rather than owning it and just saying "I love sex and I want to have it frequently" she had to qualify her love for sex with *but I'm a godly woman, promise!*

[RosyDaisy]

I don't get this. Why is it wrong to admit you love sex with your husband and want it frequently? Where's the shame in that? Also if Lori feels that way about Ken, submission in the bedroom would be a non-issue for them.

[jerkit]

I don't get this. Why is it wrong to admit you love sex with your husband and want it frequently? Where's the shame in that? Also if Lori feels that way about Ken, submission in the bedroom would be a non-issue for them.

Because having a high sex drive is not normal for these women. They have to qualify it because other fundie women assume you were a whorey whore before you were saved if you love sex and want it frequently.

[usmcmom]

Because having a high sex drive is not normal for these women. They have to qualify it because other fundie women assume you were a whorey whore before you were saved if you love sex and want it frequently.

So THIS post is actually sex instructions for previous whores?? I knew Ken's explanation would eventually fit.

[snuggles911]

This reminds me of a tragedy I watched a dear friend go through.

About 10 years ago she found out that her husband was molesting her teenage daughter from another relationship. She went to her church leaders to report it. They told her that she needed to have more sex with him and focus on his needs better. They assured her that if she did so he would turn his attention away from her daughter.

She stayed with him although she did send her daughter to live with relatives until she went off to college.

A few years ago she switched churches. Her husband started to physically abuse the three children they had together. She went to the church leaders at her new church and they told her she needed to separate from him at once. They offered her emotional and financial support to do so.

She filed criminal charges and filed for divorce. He pleaded guilty and got off with probation but at least he has a criminal record. After being a SAHM homeschooling mom for many years, she got a job and was recently able to purchase her first-ever home through a program for low-income people with good credit scores.

I am so proud of her and so grateful that she received the support she needed from her church. Ken and Lori can screw themselves. They are truly evil.

[Koala]

So THIS post is actually sex instructions for previous whores?? I knew Ken's explanation would eventually fit.

Sex "TRAINING" for a previous whore. Training is a big thing with these people. Wonder if there's a degree for that....

[Phoenix]

Or at least a certificate to frame and hang on the wall. After all, virtue cannot be silent with this bunch.

[usmcmom]

Sex "TRAINING" for a previous whore. Training is a big thing with these people. Wonder if there's a degree for that....

Clearly, today we are talking about (Under The) Blanket training.

[polecat]

Kenlor said:

We are not fans of taking husbands or wives to "the church." If you want to go see an individual elder or pastor that would be fine, but I do not have the time and space here to delve into all of our thinking on, but it should be used for bigger sins than withholding sex or a nagging or difficult wife.

1. A woman with a higher sex drive than her husband is a "nagging or difficult wife"? This is truly rich coming from the man who insisted for pages upon pages of comments that a woman who only had sex with her husband twice a week was forcing him into a sexless marriage against his will.

2. In just about every church I have ever gone to, the pastor made a habit of not counseling women on sexual issues unless their husbands were present. I don't know if that's because it's an "appearance of evil" situation or a "flee temptation" thing (or who knows, maybe a fundy thing), but I do find it strange that Kenlor of all people would be telling a woman to go talk to her pastor about her sex life. Pastors are not professional counselors, and imo, it's one thing to go to one with a spiritual issue and a completely other thing to go to one with intimate details of my marriage.

But maybe that's just me.

[formergothardite]

Didn't at one point Ken say that a wife withholding sex from her husband was abusive?

[Firiel]

Didn't at one point Ken say that a wife withholding sex from her husband was abusive?

CM said that to certain husbands, a wife not having sex with her husband every other day would be abusive.

[utter solitude]

CM said that to certain husbands, a wife not having sex with her husband every other day would be abusive.

It must be some kind of hell to live in a world where sex is both glorified and demonized....

[Curious]

I'm sure it's completely coincidental that I point out several comments from CM's blog from Becca where I mention that I feel sorry for her regarding her obvious difference in sex drive over that of her husband and there being nothing wrong with that and Lori's post today.

[ThisOlGirl]

So a wife isn't allowed to say no to sex, but she shouldn't be too enthusiastic about sex either. Got it. The more I read about fundie sex, the more I think maybe these guys can't get it up unless they're exerting some sort of control or even using force. Yeah, that's not problematic AT ALL.

[Trynn]

So a wife isn't allowed to say no to sex, but she shouldn't be too enthusiastic about sex either. Got it. The more I read about fundie sex, the more I think maybe these guys can't get it up unless they're exerting some sort of control or even using force. Yeah, that's not problematic AT ALL.

Well, if they would just admit that it's their kink, it wouldn't be. Of course, they'd still have to have a safe word with the sub, BUT it is ok to have that kind of kink, as long as you act it out in healthy and approriate ways.

That said.... what Ken and Lori advocate is not at all healthy.

[salex]

They have reached the bottom of the fucking barrel this time.

Random Reader:

Lori Alexander:

Cause Jesus is totally okay with a woman staying married to a child molester. What he's really worried about is women being keepers at home. :angry-steamingears:

Ken Alexander:

source: comments from this post: lorialexander.blogspot.com/2014/07/building-your-childrens-lives-upon-rock.html#idc-container

Every time I think about Ken Alexander writing this wishy washy defense of women who let their husbands abuse their children without immediately getting them out of the house, based on if it was "bad' abuse or not, I am horrified. Ken portrays himself as an educated man, a consultant to Dentists, yes, but also trained as a minister and a counselor/therapist. Never in a millinium could I manage to forgive or live with a child molestor. I honestly don't get it-- what is wrong with Ken? Is he so sure that divorce is the worst sin of all that he can ignore a father or step father molesting a child?

[2xx1xy1JD]

Ken's response sounds like he's suggesting that in some cases, it could be the child who ends up living away from the home.

That protects a child's physical safety to an extent, but it also causes enormous emotional devastation. Not only does the child need to deal with the actual abuse, but the child is then banished from home while the abuser is embraced. Unfortunately, I've had to deal with several cases where this happened. Kids end up in foster care, being bounced around and subject to all the possible risks that it involves. They are angry. They can't trust anyone. They act out and run away, which puts them at enormous risk. They miss out on the basics like security, normal love and support from family, decent uninterrupted education, etc.

[formergothardite]

Seriously Ken. Figure out how the internet works. When you use your real name to right things like this about a subject like child molesters it isn't if this spills over into your real life but when. Maybe Ken has gotten so caught up in the MRA world of bashing women that he has forgotten that most people in the real world are going to be horrified by "Well molesting kids isn't an excuse to divorce your husband. The Bible doesn't want you to divorce him even if he has molested your children." Especially when you add in things like "it depends on what the abuse was" and " it almost always means the molester can't live with the children he molested."

Ken you should start counting the days till someone in your real life asks why molesting children doesn't ALWAYS mean that the molester can't live with the children.

[Koala]

Ken you should start counting the days till someone in your real life asks why molesting children doesn't ALWAYS mean that the molester can't live with the children.

Amen. Every time someone says that Ken isn't as bad as Lori we should repost these comments, because Lori isn't the only monster- Ken is one as well :angry-steamingears: :angry-steamingears:

[littlemommy]

My nightmare would be googling my daughter-in-law to be's family and coming up with Ken's internet vomit. I would advise my son to run away from such people.