Erin Bates's Wedding - Part 2

[NotALoserLikeYou]

That's what happens when the how-to manual your husband received from his in-laws (barf) a fortnight before your wedding doesn't even include the clitoris in the diagrams.

Wait, is that true? The book doesn't mention the clitoris? I thought one of the books was about pleasing the woman.

[church_of_dog]

Wait, is that true? The book doesn't mention the clitoris? I thought one of the books was about pleasing the woman.

Well, sure --

"How to please a woman: 1) take out the garbage, 2) put the toilet seat down, 3) cuddle first."

[nokidsmom]

Apparently it is very much like that...

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfem ... ty-culture

I often wonder about it also. Even for some that didn't grow up in the fundie purity culture but simply had an upbringing that discouraged sex before marriage as shameful and all that goes with it but yet still allowed dating/kissing, etc. people can still wind up with hangups that makes their first experience more difficult. I can only imagine how much more tough for young fundies who are raised in the purity culture where they aren't allowed anything and then all of a sudden it's ok. I would think a lot of them are disappointed and perhaps some never get comfortable with it either. For them, it's the old Victorian "doing your duty", the "lie back and think of England sort of thing". Which is sad.

You figure that Erin has had that "purity" crap shoved down her throat for her entire life. So...now it's ok to do those things and she's probably more than a little squiked out. Whitney may have been a virgin, but I wouldn't be surprised if she had kissed a boy or two before. She didn't have her head played with regarding sex like Erin did.

While Erin is probably going through a number of adjustments: jet-lag, learning to live with another person (and just only one versus instead of a bunch of people), having that first fight, perhaps some letdown after all the wedding excitement, etc. given the whole purity culture she's been raised in, I can see this being an issue for her. Chances are the whole "princess" thing compound things. For Whitney, between being adopted later and her family being fundie lite (if that) it's pretty certain that she was not raised with this purity obsession and probably has a healthier view of sex. I am pretty certain she would have at least kissed a couple of boys before Zach. She was reported as chasing him at first, so that makes me think she goes for what she wants and if she wanted to kiss a couple of boys, she would go for that, too.

[Dandruff]

Maybe Erin had a difficult time adjusting to Ireland, among all the other changes she was experiencing. Different country, different accent, different food, not surrounded by fundies, etc.

[nokidsmom]

Maybe Erin had a difficult time adjusting to Ireland, among all the other changes she was experiencing. Different country, different accent, different food, not surrounded by fundies, etc.

I can see some culture shock, even if it's only for a week, possibly contribute to feelings of being let down. It's her honeymoon, she probably had high expectations for it and between all the changes, it might not have been all she expected.

[Evilbad]

Id say it's just the jet lag. I live in Europe and travel back to the states a couple times a year. It absolutely wrecks me and takes me about a week to recover every time I get back home.

[Evilbad]

And I can't really criticize the bed pics, FFS I've done the same thing. Although I did text one to a friend once and said "and here is where I'll be having much of the sex". We're ridiculous pervs though lol

[church_of_dog]

Maybe Erin had a difficult time adjusting to Ireland, among all the other changes she was experiencing. Different country, different accent, different food, not surrounded by fundies, etc.

I think this might be a bigger deal than they anticipated.

And my own little anecdote: I have an especially hard time with accents, both foreign and regional/dialects. When I was a teenager I spent a summer in Spain as a part of a foreign exchange program. On the way back to the US, we had a delay and ended up with a free 24 hours in London before our trans-Atlantic flight. Lots of fun to play tourist for a day, but I am not exaggerating when I say that between the months of immersion in Spanish combined with my particular difficulty with accents, I could not understand a damn thing I heard in England! :lol:

[ILoveJellybeans]

At least she didn't post the picture of the bed with "This is where we had sex", or post a picture of the sheet she lost her virginity on.

[gypsygirl22]

Isn't Erin the girl who was kidded about not knowing how to cook? Is so, maybe she's sad because they keep having to eat things she made that didn't turn out well.

[pega127]

I agree, Erin does look not too thrilled. No wonder IMO. Of course they spent some time together during their courtship but in their honeymoon it's the first time just the two of them. There might be a lot of adjustments, maybe the first argument, changing moods, stress etc.

...even missing her family, schedule, piano playing, culture; etc.

[VincentvanGoGo]

Kelly updated her blog with more Erin & Chad wedding photos. I think this is hilarious (I like the look on the girl's face on left):

blog.thebatesfamily.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/IMG_0277.jpg

Someone ask'd where is Michael and Kelly replied: "She was at the back with Callie, who was suppose to walk down as flower girl. When it came Callie’s turn, she refused to let go of Michael and started sobbing. Erin urged Michael (who doesn’t like to be in the lime light at all) to walk her down. Michael gave in to Erin’s pleas, but without success as Callie cried the whole way and had to be escorted right back out. Michael stayed with a very sad Callie the rest of the ceremony. After it was all over, we asked Callie why she didn’t go down and she said she didn’t want Michael to leave her forever too! So she clung to Michael. Little confusion there, and we realized we should’ve done a better job explaining and preparing her. Love, Kelly"

Michael might never be able to get out of the house, but maybe she doesn't even want to.

[Mela99]

Kelly updated her blog with more Erin & Chad wedding photos. I think this is hilarious (I like the look on the girl's face on left):

blog.thebatesfamily.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/IMG_0277.jpg

Someone ask'd where is Michael and Kelly replied: "She was at the back with Callie, who was suppose to walk down as flower girl. When it came Callie’s turn, she refused to let go of Michael and started sobbing. Erin urged Michael (who doesn’t like to be in the lime light at all) to walk her down. Michael gave in to Erin’s pleas, but without success as Callie cried the whole way and had to be escorted right back out. Michael stayed with a very sad Callie the rest of the ceremony. After it was all over, we asked Callie why she didn’t go down and she said she didn’t want Michael to leave her forever too! So she clung to Michael. Little confusion there, and we realized we should’ve done a better job explaining and preparing her. Love, Kelly"

Michael might never be able to get out of the house, but maybe she doesn't even want to.

Makes you wonder what else they haven't explained properly.

I feel bad if Michael is/was that shy and was forced into a reality show....

[anjulibai]

JMHO, but Michael's shyness seems a little extreme to me. I mean, to be so shy that you wouldn't stand up in your sister's wedding? It's just odd to me.

[lilith]

Interesting comment by Kelly. An oblique reference to FJ?

[slp]

Say what you like about Kelly, the woman isn't stupid. She knows people are critical of their family, she knows they were on TV and she has to know there are snark sites about the Duggars, and therefore, the Bates as well.

[singsingsing]

I really doubt it. She was replying to a commenter who was specifically asking her why none of her comments were being posted. If Kelly does read or hear about stuff on FJ I doubt she would subtly hint to us through a comment on her blog that she will be satiating our curiosity and drive to snark just as soon as she can. ;)

[actuallyjessica]

i like kelly, i think underneath all the 'keep sweet, keep sweet' shit, she knows how to play ball.

[rural juror]

I like how the Bates kids seem to be allowed a bit more personality and individuality than the Duggars. Erin chose one sister as the maid of honor, along with a couple of other sisters and friends as bridesmaids. Michael was allowed to not participate due to her shyness. If this was the Duggars, I'm sure they'd have all the siblings up there on stage in birth order regardless of how close they are to the bride/groom.

[Mela99]

For what it's worth, I kinda see where she's coming from. Having to deal with all the pictrues and smiles and whatnot can be a pain for a bridesmaid.

[ljohnson2006]

Kelly said that Callie-Anna freaked out because she thought that Erin was leaving forever. It shows how much the younger kids really depend on the older girls, and consider them to be more a parental figure, than a sibling. It's sad.

[formergothardite]

Kelly said that Callie-Anna freaked out because she thought that Erin was leaving forever. It shows how much the younger kids really depend on the older girls, and consider them to be more a parental figure, than a sibling. It's sad.

That is what I was thinking. Yes young children get sad when an older sibling moves out, but for these children and the young Duggar children it will be like a parent moving out and leaving them. Of course they are scared and upset.

[Closed Womb]

That is what I was thinking. Yes young children get sad when an older sibling moves out, but for these children and the young Duggar children it will be like a parent moving out and leaving them. Of course they are scared and upset.

To be fair, there is a well loved family picture of my then 5 yr old husband crying because his favorite sister was leaving after her wedding reception. No buddy system, no sister mom, just a little boy that couldn't imagine life without seeing big sister every day.

[pega127]

Kelly said that Callie-Anna freaked out because she thought that Erin was leaving forever. It shows how much the younger kids really depend on the older girls, and consider them to be more a parental figure, than a sibling. It's sad.

Within the Bates family; I'm not sure if the younger children "depend" on the older children or truly just love them? The Bates family seen more genuine towards each other than the Duggars. I believe Callie-Anna was heart broken that Erin was not going to be around her home all the time.

[pega127]

i like kelly, i think underneath all the 'keep sweet, keep sweet' shit, she knows how to play ball.

I agree!