Erin Bates's Wedding - Part 2

[scc12]

If a woman is stressed...and I think marriage and living away from home for the first time was for Erin,which she indicated she didn't want to be alone,etc..then it can also affect her hormones and cycles,and thus be harder to get pregnant.Nature does that for a reason...to ensure a pregnancy doesn't occur during a difficult time.So that can also be a factor.

[singsingsing]

Yes I know that pretty much all we do is idly speculate. I think it's just between this thread, and the other thread regarding the Bates pregnancies, many people really do seem to think that the fact that one or the or the other of these couple have achieved pregnancy after a few months actually does signify something about their intent ( or lack of intent) And that just is really, really inaccurate at this point.

I say this having conceived all of my children despite actively ( if not always perfectly :embarrassed: ) using birth control. I got pregnant extremely easily. However the one time I actually did try to time a pregnancy and tried to conceive over a span of 3-4 months, I didn't happen to conceive. Pregnancy, even in fertile, young, sexually active people, is largely a matter of chance.

Yeah, I completely agree with you. Can it be another piece of speculation to entertain? Sure, but does it actually signify anything? Of course not. They were married within a month of each other and it's been (barely) a few months since they were married. Even fundies, who use no birth control and are obsessed with having babies, usually don't give birth less than a year after getting married, so the fact that one is (maybe) pregnant and the other is (maybe) not has zero actual significance.

[actuallyjessica]

I'm beginning to suspect the conversation in that blog post happened shortly after they found out Whitney was expecting. In a culture so obsessive about immediate pregnancy, finding out your SIL (who married later than you) was pregnant before you must have been hard...even if they weren't as actively trying.

I actually feel really bad for Erin. No matter what she's trying or not trying to do, this cannot be easy for her.

that's what i was trying to convey in an earlier post, regarding chad's sombre post.

[scc12]

idk,perhaps it is humbling in a good way for Erin.She is,after all,the one who wouldn't tolerate sitting beside someone with green hair.

[DarkAnts]

I think its also hard to go from all forms of touching (except hand holding and side hugs) being evil to being expected to touch each other intimately after the wedding. There will be a period if adjustment where its going to be awkward.

[scc12]

I agree.at least in dating,(which doesn't have to inc. sex).you can get more comfortable around the other person,and not just give side hugs.

[MalteseBaby]

I think Erin was stressed about decorating a house.. not about being a wife in total. Probably like me, she doesn't like to cook, as it has been said this wasn't her forte'. She will learn to microwave well, let it be, and concentrate on her natural talents and strengths. We know what some of them are.

As for sex, we have NO idea what Chad and Erin's life is in private. I can tell you that I was raised in a fundamental mainstream Christian household without siblings, and as a legally underage teen, was introduced to carnal knowledge by my 18 year old boyfriend. I had never even kissed a boy before. I can look back and say that I had a fabulous time with him, and he with me, for years. And I consented although he would have gone to jail because of statutory rape laws if my parents had known the extent of our " togetherness" during our engagement. ( I was married to him for a short time while I was in college).

Sexual attraction and ease with intimate situations isn't one of those things that can be predicted.

With my background and extremely sheltered and naïve nature generally, I should have screamed, vomited, cried, backed away, whatever, but I was completely into the guy, and mostly, totally enjoying my sexual feelings, as he was interested in pleasing me. It was a wonderful first- time lovemaking experience, and we were together for many years.

Erin may be having screaming O's every morning and twice at night for all we know. You absolutely cannot tell what goes on behind closed doors by a few generalized words. I hope she's happy, and in love with her husband, and he with her. If there are problems, I hope they throw " fundie caution" to the winds, buy a bottle or two of great wine or champagne, " The Joy Of Sex" book, and a sexy but not porn movie to watch together and a great vibrator. ;)

[salex]

I may have said this already but her husband's post on imperfect / challenging marriages is very much a trendy thing right now with male fundy bloggers.

[feministing]

I think Erin was stressed about decorating a house.. not about being a wife in total. Probably like me, she doesn't like to cook, as it has been said this wasn't her forte'. She will learn to microwave well, let it be, and concentrate on her natural talents and strengths. We know what some of them are.

As for sex, we have NO idea what Chad and Erin's life is in private. I can tell you that I was raised in a fundamental mainstream Christian household without siblings, and as a legally underage teen, was introduced to carnal knowledge by my 18 year old boyfriend. I had never even kissed a boy before. I can look back and say that I had a fabulous time with him, and he with me, for years. And I consented although he would have gone to jail because of statutory rape laws if my parents had known the extent of our " togetherness" during our engagement. ( I was married to him for a short time while I was in college).

Sexual attraction and ease with intimate situations isn't one of those things that can be predicted.

With my background and extremely sheltered and naïve nature generally, I should have screamed, vomited, cried, backed away, whatever, but I was completely into the guy, and mostly, totally enjoying my sexual feelings, as he was interested in pleasing me. It was a wonderful first- time lovemaking experience, and we were together for many years.

Erin may be having screaming O's every morning and twice at night for all we know. You absolutely cannot tell what goes on behind closed doors by a few generalized words. I hope she's happy, and in love with her husband, and he with her. If there are problems, I hope they throw " fundie caution" to the winds, buy a bottle or two of great wine or champagne, " The Joy Of Sex" book, and a sexy but not porn movie to watch together and a great vibrator. ;)

This!

I was also extremely sheltered. My boyfriend taught me literally everything I know at the age of 20! I had no idea what a vibrator was, that cunnilingus existed, and that women were capable of orgasm.

I guess you can say I went from zero to sixty in less than 6 months! And it was awesome. My SO made me feel so comfortable, and the chemistry was (and is) still intense. Now I can orgasm as many times as I want - I know what to do! My SO bought me a vibrator and I was petrified of using it. PETRIFIED. Now I love it.

The transition was a bit scary at the beginning, but it's what I wanted. He is a great person and I wanted him to be happy. And I went from the ultimate prude to a very sexual person in a short period of time and it wasn't traumatizing at all.

So while it was probably scarier for Erin than for me, we can only speculate. Who knows? She could have been super excited to rip his clothes off. I remember being excited to lose my virginity when I met him, even though I felt it was wrong to do it so early. After all, sex inside marriage in fundie circles is considered a beautiful, natural, important thing, so some fundies may have been excited.